The angry voice of the merman king seemed to echo around the room.

"I consider myself a reasonable merman. I set certain rules, and I expect those rules to be obeyed."

I flinched at the all-too-familiar words. Although I knew I didn't want to watch this — knew I couldn't watch this — I didn't seem to be able to look away.

"Is it true you rescued a human from drowning?"

A flash of a memory appeared — when I'd come across a young Muggle boy during one of my forbidden expeditions through the Manor, and helped him escape.

"Contact between the human world and the merworld is strictly forbidden! Ariel, you know that; everyone knows that!"

I drew my legs closer to my body, hugging them tight as I tried to make myself as small as possible.

"He would have died!"

I was vaguely aware of Laurel moving from my side.

"One less human to worry about!"

I pressed my hands to my ears, rocking on the spot as I tried to block out the sound.

"You don't even know him."

"Know him? I don't have to know him. They're all the same. Spineless, savage, harpooning, fish-eaters, incapable of any feeling."

harsh light of the meeting room at Malfoy Manor. Mother and Father were there, neither of them troubling to hide their anger at me.

"How dare you let the Muggle scum escape?" Mother hissed, sending a curse at me that threw me to the floor. "HOW DARE YOU? Crucio!"

The pain consumed me completely, but I gritted my teeth and made no sound. I would not scream. I would not let them see just how much I was hurting.

I endured this agony for what seemed like an eternity, slowly breaking down until I wasn't even able to move. Mother finally released me from the pain of the curse, but little shocks of the power kept running through my body, making my breath catch in my throat every few seconds.

"Now now, Bella," Father said, speaking up for the first time. "Look what you've done to the pathetic creature."

I stayed still and silent, not allowing myself to give a reaction to this nickname, if you could even call it that. That doesn't mean, however, that the words didn't worm their way into every inch of me, finding all the cracks and tearing them wide open.

"You're nothing but scum," he continued softly, clearly talking to me now. "Worthless — weak — unworthy of the blood within you." There was a dangerous note in his voice, which only became more pronounced as he said, "And a blood-traitor too, saving the Muggle filth like that. You do not show mercy for it, is that understood?"

"But—"

"You dare to contradict me?" His voice had dropped to barely a whisper, but it was more dangerous than ever. "You dare to go against the Dark Lord?"

I didn't even have the time to answer before the pain was back, worse than ever — white-hot knives stabbing at every inch of my body... blood... blurry... blackness... screaming... pain... so much pain...

Everything got mixed, and nothing made sense anymore... silence was suddenly ringing in my ears... but still the pain remained, ever constant as I struggled to get away.

And then, through the silence, came a voice.

"Ivory... Iv, it's alright... you're alright... you're safe... Iv, this isn't real..."

Someone loosely wrapped their arms around me in what seemed to be a hug, and the pain started to fade. Images swam in front of me — Laurel... Mother... Remus... Father... Sirius... the meeting room... my new bedroom...

My heart still thumping, I took a shaky breath, allowing my senses to catch up with what I was now seeing — Laurel, Remus, and Sirius were all knelt by me, each of their faces wearing matching expressions of anxiety and worry. I vaguely realised that I was in my bedroom, though I had no idea how I'd got there.

"It's alright... you're safe..." Laurel said softly, but her voice seemed to come long after her lips formed the words.

I drew my legs and arms towards my body, mumbled apologies spilling from me.

"It's alright. It's not your fault, Iv."

But it was. It was my fault; I knew it was my fault. I felt pathetic. Whatever had just happened, I should've stopped it... I shouldn't have been so weak as to let myself go back to that time... it was my fault... all my fault...

My breathing still far too fast, and my whole body shaking slightly, I tried to fully comprehend what had just happened. Muddled thoughts tumbled into my mind, but I couldn't make any sense of them... all I knew was the fear that was still rushing through my veins, and the numbing exhaustion that was quickly making itself known.

"Do you want to get some sleep?" Laurel asked gently.

I gave a small nod, burrowing my way under the covers and curling myself up as tight as I could.

"Here," came Sirius' voice, and I glanced at him. He was holding a small goblet, which had some sort of liquid in it. "Dreamless sleep potion. You'll need it."

I gave Laurel a cautious look, and she nodded, indicating that it was safe. Sirius handed me the goblet, and I quickly drank the potion, silently hoping that it wasn't going to do something to hurt me. Before I even had the chance to finish my worries, however, I was overcome by exhaustion, and slipped into a long, dark sleep.

***

It was night when I awoke, but my room wasn't at all dark — moonlight was streaming through my window, bathing everything in a pale light that felt strangely calming. Despite that, however, I still felt like — well, like that curse word Mother had frequently used when I was really young, before I'd started inadvertently repeating it to myself.

It took me a good few minutes to remember why I felt so bad, but when I did, it all came crashing down on me like the Cruciatus Curse. I'd allowed myself to go back to that time, to be consumed by one of the many memories I'd tried so hard to forget. I'd given into the weakness that I was usually able to keep away.

Sighing quietly, I decided that I might as well get up and try to do something productive rather than just sitting in bed and thinking about that for hours. Unfortunately, my legs had other ideas. I ended up just sort of sliding out of the bed, landing on the floor with a thump, and only just managing not to hit my head on the nightstand.

"For Merlin's sake..."

A noise came from the room next door that sounded a lot like footsteps, and I quickly forced my legs to wake up. Then, when the footsteps turned into the sound of an opening door, I scrambled to my feet, pulling my wand from my pocket as a reflexive action.

"Ivory, you awake?" someone called quietly through my door. "It's Thana. Can I come in?"

"Uh — yeah, sure," I said, slowly lowering my wand from the defensive stance I'd subconsciously assumed, and going to open the door.

"Thanks."

She gave me a bright smile and settled herself in my soft, pink armchair, a curious glance the only indication that it wasn't normal for someone to open their bedroom door with a potentially lethal weapon in their hand. I closed the door behind her, not wanting to wake anyone else, then sat cross-legged at the end of my bed.

"Thought you'd be asleep, to be honest," she said, and though her tone was conversational, there was a slight hint of worry to it that confused me somewhat. "Triggers can really take it out of you."

A slight frown flitted across my face as I tried to work out what she meant.

"Triggers?"

"Y'know, things that make you have a flashback. Take you into one of your memories. Make you relive a traumatic experience." She gave me a look that I couldn't quite work out the meaning of. "You ever heard of PTSD?"

***
A/N: Quick disclaimer: I don't have PTSD, and I don't know anyone who does. While I've tried to do as much research on it as I can, I can't guarantee that any of this is actually accurate at all. However, if you have any experience with PTSD, and want to help me get my portrayal of it more accurate, please feel free to send me a message either on here, or on my Instagram (@gcldensunlight) 😊

Now that that disclaimer's out of the way, how did y'all like this chapter? And what're your opinions of Thana so far? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts!

~Charlie 🖤