20 - Question of guilt

When Zhan and I woke up, it had been almost 6 pm. I never thought I would or could sleep that long at all. After everything that happened last night, I didn't even expect to be able to fall asleep at all.

But as I held Zhan in my arms and felt his breath and warmth on my skin, everything in me relaxed and I finally fell asleep. And, it was a peaceful sleep.

I was still deep in the land of dreams when I was awakened by some yelling in the corridor. Zhan, who was also still asleep, almost fell out of bed, he was so scared, luckily he has me, because if I hadn't held him in my arms, he would have definitely fallen.

As quickly as we could, Zhan and I then ran to join the others who had made their way from the corridor to the dining room. When we got there, the group was yelling at each other and only my brother stood there in horror, saying nothing.

"What's going on?" I asked my brother.

"Didn't you two hear the announcement?" Asked my brother.

"What announcement?"

"This guy spoke again over the loudspeaker and said..." That' s as far as my brother got, because the announcement was just repeating itself again.

"Notice! It has been brought to our attention that guest Missy is not taking her medication as prescribed. We are warning you for the first and last time. If you continue to refuse to take your medication, there will be consequences for everyone! - Furthermore it is not allowed to block the elevators! The blockades at the doors are to be removed immediately! - Also, disposing of a body is not allowed in the passages. Put the body in front of the door of station 3, we will pick it up. - First warnings for misconduct go to: Guest Meng Yao, Guest Hai Kuan and Guest Cheng. You are accused of misconduct with members of your group. If you do not improve, we will have to isolate you from the group. End of announcement!"

I stared at my brother and he looked at me in despair. "I have no idea what's going on here. All I know is that Yanli and André saw Leni sitting at the registration desk and they're sure she was talking into a microphone." He explained.

Zhan asked Yanli if she could explain what was going on. Yanli nodded and said, "I woke up and went to the kitchen because I wanted to prepare dinner already. That's when I met André, who was already sorting the pills for everyone into little cups. We were talking and saw Leni coming out of the room. We thought she was coming to us too, but she didn't. So after a few minutes we went to check and saw her sitting hidden by the registration desk with a little object in her hand that looked like a microphone that she was whispering into."

And the shouting started again. Missy said Leni was the only one who knew she hadn't taken her medication. "I can' t tolerate antibiotics very well, so I was just pretending to take it. Leni caught me disposing of the pill in the toilet."

André, who is usually calm and collected, explained, "Since we arrived here, I have already spent a lot of time with Leni, as I mostly stayed with her and Han, because of her injury. But, I know purely nothing about her. Whenever I asked her anything, she avoided me. Even when I asked her about her profession, she suddenly talked about the weather. I don't want to accuse Leni of anything, but she seems stranger and stranger to me. For example, she can count down side effects of all medications that no doctor would prescribe just like that, and she can do it down to the smallest detail. Not even a doctor can do that."

"Brother, what exactly is Leni's profession?" I asked. After all, my big brother has been very good friends with Leni for many years and should know.

But, my brother looked at me with a furrowed brow and said, "I don't even know. I'm not even sure she ever told me."

Meng Yao came up to us and said, "She studied pharmacy. And I only know that because I happened to see her study papers once."

"I go back and forth all the time about whether she ever told us anything private about herself. You know, parents, siblings. Or what school she went to. Her first love, that kind of thing." Said my brother.

"Who her first love was or is, I can tell you. And I think you know that yourself." Said Meng Yao.

My brother rubbed his forehead and replied, "I'm not so sure. So yes, years ago she confessed to having feelings for me. But I rejected her and we've just been good friends ever since."

"Oh wow, you guys are great good friends if you don't know anything about her. But seriously now, just because she studied pharmacy doesn't mean she's going to betray us because of it." I said. Actually, I had not wanted to stand by her.

And while we frantically searched for something that might help Leni, the others continued to argue about what we should do with Leni now. And Leni? Well she sat there quite calmly and ate an apple.

When the argument apparently reached its height, when the others said they wanted to lock Leni in one of the rooms, she got up, stood on a table and seemed to have no more problems with her ankle. She grinned and said, "You're all idiots. If I worked for them, I wouldn't be here now. I would have left the moment Rin fell out of the elevator covered in blood. Besides, if you want to know more about my family... Well, I don't have a family. I'm an orphan and grew up in a small orphanage. So what can I tell you about my family? And about my job, I work in a pharmacy. I studied pharmacy and wanted to change to the scientific field. But I couldn't find a job there, so I took a vacancy in a pharmacy. So I know a lot of medications and their side effects. And lots of medications. And the microphone doesn't work. If it did, it would only be heard here in the station anyway."

"And why didn't you say that in the first place? Why did you make such a secret of your life?" Asked Meng Yao.

"Oh right, that's what the right one says. How long have you loved Hai Kuan now? Was it 10 or 12 years? And do you remember what you said when we arrived at the forest and saw Hai Kuan running to Cheng and we had to watch the two of them kissing? What was that again? Oh yeah, you would want to kill Hai Kuan for knowingly hurting us like that and having no concern for our feelings." Replied Leni.

"True, I was angry and said something like that. But, that doesn't mean I would do something like that. I could never hurt Hai Kuan." Said Meng Yao.

"And that's even though he's been trampling on your feelings for years. And even more so when he even kept it from us that he had a boyfriend. That's why you two were fighting after all, because Hai Kuan didn't give us a forewarning that he has a boyfriend and we're going to meet him here. And there's something else you all forgot. It was Hai Kuan who brought us all here! And it is he, after all, who has turned 180° since we got here. Even his own brother doesn't recognize him anymore. So if anyone seems suspicious, it's Hai Kuan most of all." Leni replied seriously.

"Yes true, I lied and brought everyone here under false pretenses, I also had my own selfish reasons for doing so. But with this and everything that happened, I have nothing to do!" Said my brother in response.

"And what about Zhan, Cheng and Yanli? Have you ever watched how these three communicate with each other? It's totally weird. Because when they are among themselves and feel unobserved, they talk without words! They look at each other, nod or shake their heads, but you hear nothing! Aren't they also suspicious? After all, they could have been reporting in a telepathic way or? And who of you has seen those creepy red eyes on Zhan? What are those three? Freaks? Aliens?" Said Leni. 

Suddenly Missy threw an empty can at Leni and yelled, "You're a freak, OK? Zhan is nothing but an empath who is constantly confronted with the feelings of others. And when his eyes get red, it's because his body is at its limit. He is someone special who also has the gift of seeing possible past lives of a soul. He is not dangerous! Neither are Cheng and Yanli. Yanli is just like Zhan and an empath. Cheng is super with all kinds of weapons, including even a whip like Indiana Jones has. But he would never turn a weapon on another person."

I knew the red eyes weren't imagination. And I knew right away that Zhan was special. Now I'm not surprised why he prefers to be alone with me. With so many people around, it must be hard with all these feelings of others affecting him. Visible to all, I took Zhan's hand and angrily said, "Now listen to me you bitch, one more word about Zhan and his family and I will cut you into your parts. Do you understand that? Don't you dare drag my boyfriend into the mud just so you can get off the hook! Maybe several of us are really eligible for the betrayal, if there was any betrayal at all, but Zhan or his family, are definitely not one of them!"

"Oh, have you perhaps noticed that his eyes only light up red when he's in a rage?" Leni asked, unimpressed by what I was saying.

André, who was silently watching everything with the others stood up and said, "So what. He didn't hurt anyone, no matter how angry he was. In fact, I think it is impossible that he could harm anyone here. And you would know that, too, if you had taken the time to talk to him at least once. He is warm, kind, sensitive, attentive and self-sacrificing. Who do you think gave you the water and food in the cave? Zhan gave up his share and wanted me to give it to you and Han. If he was really like you want to portray him here, he wouldn't have helped you."

"After all, all I was trying to say is that we should all look at ourselves. Each of us has something that makes us a suspect. So do you! I do find it odd that you don't really mourn your dead friends. But that doesn't make me suspect you of being in cahoots with those from the institute. Because then I might suspect Han, too. Or May, who miraculously survived with Rin and found us here. While all the others from your group and the Romanians have been killed, they wander through the corridors, no water, no food, no light and those murderers in the cave and the two of them arrive unharmed?" Asked Leni.

And then suddenly Zhan did the same thing he had done before with André. He went to Leni, put his hand on her forearm, whispered something in her ear and she calmed down again. She sat down and asked if maybe now we could look rationally, for a logical explanation for all this.

Can Zhan perhaps not only perceive the feelings of others and guess their thoughts, but also influence them?

Everyone seemed to calm down again and sat down. In the end, it was Leni herself who figured out how those at the institute could know about all this. There are cameras and microphones in the elevators.

My brother looked at the cameras and microphones and explained to all of us that they are the very good kind. The kind that can listen to everything in the range of 5 - 10 meters without interference. And my brother must know it, because he was always interested in all this spy stuff and constantly informed about the latest technology.

Once again the group argued senselessly instead of sitting down and talking. And once again we couldn't do what we were supposed to do. Actually, we wanted to explore the basement today. Instead, there was another argument, which ended only half an hour before "lights out".

Admittedly, I now believe myself that we have a mole among us. I just don't know who it is yet.