10 - No glimmer of hope

With the Polish young man still asleep, I now come to Missy's story.

"When I was nine years old, my mom died. It was the weekend and I was able to sleep in when my mom's scream woke me up. She was screaming loudly and continuously. I ran into the bedroom, my dad was calling the ambulance. My mother was cringing in pain. She could barely move her arms and legs and was getting more and more panicked. When the ambulance arrived, they gave her the strongest painkiller they had, but it didn't work. Therefore, the doctor gave her anesthesia. In the hospital she was then examined for hours, still under anesthesia. The result was, she had a tennis ball sized tumor on her spine. And, it was causing her pain. Almost all of her organs were affected and the doctor said he had never seen anything so bad. He was amazed that she was even alive. To take away my mother's pain, the doctor said, there was only one way. Cutting the spinal cord and the spine, above the tumor. Which means complete paralysis. My father could not ask my mother and so he decided alone, for the operation. After the surgery, when my mom came to herself, she was happy when she didn't feel any pain, but then she realized that she couldn't feel anything at all. She was completely devastated about it. An operation to remove the tumor was not done. Since it no longer made sense anyway, because her organs soon gave up anyway. She lived another three weeks before she died." Told Missy.

However, that wasn't all.

"My dad was transferred by his boss two years after my mom died. To a branch of the company, here in China. I first went to a small private school, for foreigners. There I had to learn to speak, read and write the Chinese language. A year later my dad met a Chinese lawyer, they fell in love and got married, I didn't get along with her at all. I hated her. Then when I was 14 years old, I came to a new school. In my class I really stood out with my blonde hair and blue eyes. I think there were only 3 other foreigners in the entire school. And none like me from America. The girls at school hated me, they bullied me and they did that every day. The teachers just looked the other way. The boys in school thought that just because I was American, I was easy to get. Over and over they harassed me, again the teachers just looked the other way. My dad was so busy with his work and his new wife that he never listened to me and forced me to keep going to that school. Then, on my 15th birthday, some girls from my class dragged me by my hair across the schoolyard to the gym. They tore off my clothes and locked me in the boys' locker room, where I was raped by four boys over and over for two hours. When they finally let go of me, I grabbed a dirty towel and went home like that. My stepmother was there and immediately realized what was happening to me. She forbade me to wash. She took the towel, wrapped it in a foil, handed me a bathrobe and took me to a hospital where I was examined for hours and questioned by a female police officer. Several pictures were taken of my injuries, I felt so miserable. Back home, my stepmother showered me off and then put me to bed. The next day she went to the school with the prosecutor and several police officers and they grabbed all my harassers. One by one and they all cried like babies as the cops pushed them to the ground and held their guns to their heads. My stepmother sued them all and she trampled the school and its teachers into the ground. She didn't let anyone get away with it. She stood upright in the schoolyard with a megaphone in her hand and yelled into it "Whoever dares to touch, torture or otherwise hurt my daughter, I will personally send them to hell and watch you dance with a drink in my hand as you suffer the worst tortures" then she threw the megaphone on the ground and held me in her arms for minutes. She told me, no matter what I think of her, she loves me and she will protect me from now on, from all evil. Later, she dyed my hair dark brown and I wore contact lenses so I wouldn't stand out too much after I started at a new school. My dad finally realized what he had done to me, too. And then in my senior year, I met a young man from college, Zhan's best friend, my fiancé. Oh yeah, surprise surprise, we got engaged three weeks ago and plan to get married as soon as possible. I survived the past and for him, I will survive now!"

None of us were left cold by her story. I think we all had tears in our eyes. She deserved to be happy more than anyone.

*~*~*

The Polish man is awake again. He is disoriented like all of us. Surprisingly, it turned out that he understands and speaks Chinese very well. He told us he came across the Romanians after he, Han and his friends were attacked for the first time, and they have already reached the cave with the lake when they ran out of light. "The last flashlight went out and there was complete darkness around us. We stood close together and heard footsteps, or at least we thought we did. Then one of the men screamed out, another suddenly fell into the lake, I heard him screaming for help, I could do nothing. I could not see anything. There was this growling sound and the sound of someone breathing heavily. I started to make my way slowly, I didn't know where I was going, I just wanted to get away. I heard the others screaming, screaming so desperately. When it was suddenly quiet, I hid in a hole and stayed there. I kept holding my breath and only got out of there after maybe an hour. I walked as carefully as I could so as not to make any noise. And it wasn't until I saw the glow from your flashlights that I ran."

"From our flashlights?" Asked my brother. Because to save batteries and not draw unnecessary attention to ourselves, we only had two headlamps on. Mine and Han's. Could he have seen Rin?

Much to our delight, the Polish man had several small water bottles and a few energy bars in his backpack. He also had a first aid kit with him, with painkillers. As it turned out, our friend from abroad has already been in China for three years and works as a paramedic in an aid organization. He immediately took care of Han. He cleaned the wound and then sewed it up, completely without anesthesia, but now it stopped bleeding. Then he took care of Leni's ankle. It is not broken. The Polish man, whose name is André, made her a support bandage.

Now he is trying to open the door together with Han and Cheng. He immediately saw that the door is not locked. It's just too rusty and a little bent.

*~*~*

No matter how hard the three of them tried to get the door open somehow, they couldn't. It's just too bent and stuck so tightly that we wouldn't be able to get it open even as a whole group.

Now we have no choice but to take this other tunnel. We are 10 people, have 8 flashlights, 8 headlamps and the light on my brother's camera. We have batteries for three flashlights and for 4 headlamps. And, there is only one battery left for the camera. We also have 11 small water bottles, 10 of them are half empty, one is full. There are still three energy bars and a bar of white chocolate. In the first aid kit there is still a bandage, two ampoules of painkillers and two packs of plasters. Yanli has a keychain, which is a small lamp. We have the small axe, the knife and a can opener.

In my backpack there is also a can of coke and two rice cakes. However, I keep that for myself and will share it with Zhan in extreme cases. He handed me, unseen by the others, a bag of fruit candy, a bag of apple chips and a bag of rice crackers. I put everything in my backpack and then we will share it with the others in case of emergency.

*~*~*

We ended up in the next larger cave room. Whatever attacked the others doesn't seem to have chased them and come here. With the noise the others made at the door earlier, they would have been here long ago otherwise.

The whispering is gone. But, we feel a much stronger warm breeze here. And, we found Rin's flashlight. As well as his backpack. Inside was another started water bottle, some granola bars and egg powder, and a pot.

We made a tiny fire with the materials we could find, and then added water and egg powder to the pot and heated it. It was enough for everyone to have at least a semi-satiated feeling in our stomachs.

Rin is nowhere to be seen or heard. Cheng and my brother searched the cave room thoroughly. They also discovered our next passage. I wonder if Rin could find his wife. And if he did, why didn't he come back? Why did he leave his flashlight and backpack here? Where did he run along so that the Polish man could see him? Or are there other survivors after all?

Although we rested a lot before we went here, we are all exhausted again. Leni and Han the most. Zhan is lying with his head on my lap, sleeping.

Yanli, Missy and Leni are lying together by the small fire. My brother and Cheng are sleeping across from me. Han also seems to be sleeping and the Polish guy is keeping guard. I'll probably try to sleep some more in a minute, too.

The fire dancing up and down makes me really tired. Thanks to the fire we can leave our flashlights off and save batteries. Too bad Rin doesn't have any spare batteries in his backpack.

Somehow it shames me how cold-heartedly I think about Rin. I didn't like him and his wife, but after I learned the story about May's daughter, I no longer completely didn't care about them. Now, however, all I can think bitterly about is, that Rin didn't have batteries or weapons or more food and water with him.

I wish I knew where May's backpack was. I know she still had batteries, water and some packs of those one man meals. She also had a blanket in her backpack. She and Han, before we went into the cave, had even gotten into a fight about it. She said she would rather give up the food than the blanket.

Now that I think about it, it really hits me. They both said they just ran into the woods because May saw this girl and followed her. But, they both had their backpacks on. Why hadn't I noticed that right away?

However, now it doesn't matter anyway. It feels like it was in another world, a world we no longer belong to, because we went into that cave. I'd like to know what time it is and how long we've been in here. It's unbelievable how much you miss being able to look at a clock.

André thinks we've been here at least two days. Han thinks it could be almost three days. It doesn't really matter, does it? All we should care about now is how to get out of here.

I need to sleep, I'm so tired. I'm going to put my diary away and close my eyes. I'm just going to sleep. Good night, or whatever.