You low down boy, you stand up guy

I'm not a violent dog, I don't know why I bite but I get up as less than human, somewhere between an object and a pet. I was told to stay put, don't make any noise, and don't fight back. And I didn't. But now, I will bite anyone who tries to love me gently because how could I be loved enough to rinse this filth from my soul? I don't think it's possible. I'm not a violent dog and yet I find myself resting my neck in the hands of strangers just for a crumb of attention. I let them mark me and cry when I feel empty inside because why am I just good for one night and not forever? I'm not a violent dog but I know I can bite.

— Isle of Dogs

Everything Bridger wants to say gets stuck in his throat and burns like somebody is pouring acid into his mouth. He has dreams – nightmares – of standing on the beach with the moonlight shining on him, the waves crashing at his feet, and he tries to scream, only he can't. His mouth is open wide but no sound comes out. The only time you can hear a scream is when he's finally able to pull himself out of the nightmare and he sits up from his bed, sweaty and hyperventilating.

Only nobody knows because Bridger's never told anyone.

Everyone has a summer that they'll never forget. A summer of secrets that most teenagers swear that they'll take to their grave. Summer of 2018 was a summer that Bridger would never forget no matter how hard he tried erasing it from his life, even when it's capsulated and haunts him in his nightmares.

But it was impossible to get rid of. I'd stuck to him like glue, like a substance forever rubbed into his skin, the smell of the bonfire and the sound of the blaring music mixed with the waves of the ocean crashing on he beach. It should have been a fun night, a party to kick off summer vacation. But instead Bridger is forever haunted by what happened and he always thinks if he just avoided those stupid blue eyes that started it all, that he wouldn't have to live with this torture. They came into flashes. Long eyelashes and smile lines. Dimples and the smell of salt water and surf wax. If he could forget it he would, but he couldn't, so Bridger chose to never speak of it again.

Bridger Fitzgerald was the Kook of all Kooks. A rich boy from an even richer family, general wealth, he was a boy that was quite literally born with everything. He was the opposite of JJ Maybank, a known kleptomaniac, a low life with no hope of graduating high school or doing anything with his life. He was a Pogue. He would most likely end up like his dead best father, Luke Maybank, a known drug addict and also a kleptomaniac.

They came from two different worlds, worlds that were at constant war with each other. Bridger thought he was better than everyone else and JJ wanted him to drop dead because of it. It was like constantly wanting to throw a fist at one another until one of them finally caved in from the punches.

JJ fueled the fire that was inside Bridger but who knew he would also be the one to put the fire out?

Bridger would always blame it on the alcohol because like money, alcohol was basically apart of his family as well. His father drank his breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bottles of liquor. Alcohol made Bridger crazy, it made him hungry for more, and above all it made him numb. He lied to be numb to everything when he was drinking. Bridger was never taught to feel anything properly. Not by his mother who desperately tried to show him love but died at the critical point of his life where all teenage boys need love the most, and not by his father, who's own feelings and hatred were always taken over by alcohol.

He took after his father but he was nothing like his father.

But this time, just once, Bridger was hungry to feel. Feel anything, even love, for just once in his life, and JJ just happened to be there. They were both drunk out of their minds, of course; because alcohol was also something they had in common, other than having asshole fathers. It started with a kiss, a gesture that Bridger swore he'd take to his grave. But then it led to more, much more. Suddenly, they were together all the time, sneaking around late at night or catching each other's eyes around town, anything to be around each other.

It was the role he had been dying for. Love, reciprocated. But it wasn't love, that's what Bridger told himself, anyway, because he couldn't love JJ. It was mindless hooks up in their secret spots. It was hardly love. Nobody could know about them.

Until someone did.

More nightmares came to him at night — The silhouette of his father barging into his room when his lips were pressed to his secret lover's, and Dawson Fitzgerald dragging JJ out of his house and then taking his anger out on his son. He preferred not to talk about it, ever, to anyone or to himself.

It as the last time Bridger ever spoke to JJ again.

Cut to a year later and things were getting better. He was still the same popular, charming, old money Kook that he was. His friends were the same. His life on Figure Eight was the same. The only thing that was different was the girl on his arm. Inez Maddox, the Kook sweetheart, his girlfriend.

But no matter how many good things he allowed to come into his life, Bridger was forced to always keep a part of himself in the dark. He never spoke about the illicit affair and instead, he kept it locked away inside, forcing himself to push away the pain. He was like a dog with a chain always forced to be kept from running away. He was never free. He never knew peace. Perhaps that was his fault.

Bridger:
You and I have began to blur.

JJ:
Isn't that how you found me?

Alex Fitzalan Bridger Fitzgerald

Rudy Pankow JJ Maybank

Tom Cruise Dawson Fitzgerald

Anne Hathaway Jana Fitzgerald †

Ryan Destiny Inez Maddox

I've been waiting to write a good JJ Maybank FORVER now and I always end up not liking it but this time I love it! I'm super excited for this plot and I also love Alex Fitzalan. This story is based off a lot of Taylor Swift songs and as well as Conan Gray because Bridger is a very sad and secretly romantic character.

Warnings, this story contains very heavy and dark themes like excessive drug and alcohol use, depression, suicidal thoughts and tendencies, mentions of homophobia, homophobic slurs, mentions of molestation, abuse, and hallucinations. There's also strong language and sexual themes. I advise you to read at your own risk because it does get very dark!

PSA, Bridger is a very complex, emotional, secretive, and depressed character. His backstory is incredibly sad and makes sense as to why he acts the way he does throughout the beginning of the story. He's not meant to be a nice guy in the beginning but I believe ultimately, you will love him by the end!