CHAPTER ELEVEN

      Misaki was in pain.

      Not just physical pain that came from punching the hell out of her pillow and kicking the stupid door of her room with her feet, but also mental pain. Her mind felt heavy and the swirling mess of emotions inside her were doing nothing but add to an increase in the pain she felt.

      Why had this happened?

      Sure, some of her classmates happened to have divorced parents. But she had never expected this thing to happen to her. Was this the universe's sick way of enacting Murphy's Law on her life?

      (Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.)

      (Everything had gone wrong.)

      Her phone vibrated to indicate the arrival of a text message. She felt confused. Who could be texting her this late? (It was almost 2AM)

KENMA: I heard what happened. I'm sorry.

MISAKI: Why are you sorry? It's not your fault. Also, why are you awake?

KENMA: I was playing a game.

      Misaki smiled a little. Her cousin's sleep schedule was the worst out of any person she had ever met, but even then he was an incredible volleyball player. He was also very nice to her and it really didn't feel like he was a whole year younger to her. Sometimes he felt more mature. (He definitely was more mature.)

MISAKI: I would ask you which game, but I'm seriously not interested in knowing that right now. I'm just — I don't know what to feel really.

KENMA: You can always vent your anger by playing Call of Duty

MISAKI: Thanks. But that won't help. Do you have any other advice or should I just leave you to go back to your game. Even better, go back to sleep.

KENMA: I need to finish this level and then I'm going to sleep.

MISAKI: Only one level, okay?

KENMA: Only one.

MISAKI: You're lying, aren't you?

MISAKI: Kenma, don't leave me on read.

MISAKI: KENMAAA

MISAKI: Fineee. Just don't pass out while you're on the court.

KENMA: that won't happen.

      Misaki smiled, albeit less sadly than before. This was an utterly short conversation, too short maybe. But with Kenma...he knew how to distract her well. And if she didn't want to worry about the inevitable, she could always just worry about Kenma. At least, that won't push her to become an emotional mess. She typed a quick 'thank you' and 'good night' to Kenma before placing her phone back to its original position on the bed. She pulled up her blankets and closed her eyes.

      "Sleep," Misaki silently commanded herself. "Go to sleep. Stop thinking about things."

      While her mind was eager to listen to her, her heart refused. With a burning ache in her chest, she closed her eyes and fell into an uneasy sleep.

      Going to school...it was interesting, so to speak.

      On the one hand, Misaki felt like locking herself in her room for all eternity. But on the other, she knew her friends would start to worry and she hated that. She never liked making people worry for her; she would rather worry for them. And so, with a not-so fake smile on her face, she walked out the door of her house and onto the road where Iwaizumi and Oikawa were waiting for her.

      Lucky for her, neither of the two had noticed the storm brewing behind her eyes. So, she walked with them, hands holding onto her bag a little too tightly.

      At school, she somehow managed to keep her emotions in check. Somehow, that is. Still, Misaki was distracted because every time she thought about something, her mind would somehow bring itself back to thinking about the damn divorce. It was stupid, she realised.

      She felt stupid and angry and sad and even half-empty at times. This thing...why did it have to happen to her family of all people. Why? What had she done to deserve this? This ugly feeling...this...all of this was just so fucking stupid. No wonder, she felt like hitting something or spiking a volleyball. No wonder, she longer felt like smiling.

      But how long could Misaki keep this up?

      Progressively, as the day passed, her smile grew more fake. At lunch, she sat with some of her classmates. Though she wasn't 'close friends' with them, they were still nice people. Except, a lot of the girls of her class seemed to like talking about Oikawa a lot and sometimes, they even came to her, asking advice on how to confess or what it was like being childhood friends with him.

      ("Are you sure you wanna do that?"

      "It's flat-out annoying. You have no idea how he used to be.")

      What she was thankful for though, was that these girls didn't pick up on her true emotions. So in front of them, she was all smiley and making happy faces, while in reality, she felt nothing like this. All she felt was a deep set sense of anger and sadness, like the calm before an approaching storm.

      The classes finally ended and it was time for practice. Throwing her bag over her shoulder, Misaki got up from her chair and walked out of the class, just like her classmates were doing. At the entrance of her class, she found Iwaizumi waiting for her, but Oikawa wasn't with him.

      "Where's Oikawa? Did you finally ditch him?" Misaki asked, keeping her tone normal and mildly teasing.

      "No, I wish," Iwaizumi answered with a groan as they started walking away from her classroom and towards the gym. "Shittykawa ditched me. He was cornered by his fanclub."

      "You sound like you're jealous, Iwa."

      "Me? Jealous of that loser? In what world?"

      Misaki snickered lightly. They were at the stairs now, which were mostly empty, save for a few people that were looming about. They started climbing and she stayed quiet, not saying a word, not until Iwaizumi spoke up.

      "Anyways, enough talking about him," He looked at her through the corners of his eye. "What's up with you? You've been kinda weird today."

      Misaki almost flinched, almost. Stopping herself in time, she let out a sheepish laugh. "Maybe it's because I couldn't sleep last night. You know how I am when I get tired."

      "Honestly, I thought you were having that time of the month." Iwaizumi at least had the courtesy to whisper that last part.

      "Iwa, what the hell?!" Mortified, Misaki slapped his arm. "That's...uggh, please don't ever say that again. I don't want to hear those words from your mouth."

      For good measure, Misaki slapped his arm again.

      "Okay, I'm never mentioning that again. So stop hitting me, damnit."

      "Sometimes I think hanging around Oikawa has loosened a screw in your head."

      "Oi! Take that back!"

      "Nope! Not doing that."

      Misaki started running and Iwaizumi started chasing after her with an outraged look. People on the stairs and in the corridors gave them strange looks, even if they were technically used to this. The last time something like this had happened was a month ago when Oikawa had pissed off Iwaizumi (as he usually did), and then the stupid setter had ended up dragging her with him. Poor Iwaizumi was chasing after them through half the school. It was definitely not a fun moment when they had got caught.

      For now, her heart didn't feel as heavy as before. She felt calm...heck, she felt happy. Though, deep, deep down, she knew this good feeling would eventually fade.

      But, as temporary as it may be, Misaki was happy to live in the moment.

      Though it had been a week since they had lost to Shiratorizawa, this loss was still fresh in their minds. Nobody was slacking off, not even Kunimi, who appeared a little lazy at first glance and Misaki meant that in the least offensive way. Practice was much better than the past few days as the dejection had faded and everyone had returned to their old routine.

     Misaki let out a slight yawn as she threw a ball towards Hanamaki. Maybe she should have slept last night.

(Sleep would have only brought about nightmares about...certain things.)

      Yuki walked over to her, holding her little clipboard. "Everyone's practicing hard, aren't they?"

      "They definitely are," Misaki answered, mouth curled up into a half-smile that hid her true feelings. "Losing to a long time rival makes you wanna work harder so that you can beat them the next chance you get."

      "Hmm," Yuki mumbled out. It was then she realised that she was a teeny bit taller than her senior. While Misaki was somewhere around 5'3'', Yuki was 5'5''. That felt a little odd. "Also I had a question to ask."

      "What is it?" Misaki turned her head, smiling softly.

      "Are you okay? You look really tired for some reason," Yuki said, tapping her pen on a clipboard. "You look like you didn't get enough sleep last night or like something made you sad. I mean, your eyes look a little droopy, not that I mean it in an offensive way. Because you have really cool eyes. Like your eyes are a really pretty color. Which is irrelevant. But what I'm saying is you should rest. Like if you're tired and all."

      Realising that she was rambling, Yuki immediately covered her mouth with her free hand, turning red. "Sorry, ignore that. I was being dumb."

      Misaki patted her arm with a warm smile. "It's okay. I didn't get enough sleep last night. I don't know why but I woke up at like 2 am." (Liar. She knew exactly why.)

      "But I'll be okay. It's not like the lack of sleep affects me that much," She continued. "We should concentrate on practice for now. I'll be fine."

      Yuki nodded, relaxing her posture as she faced the court. Misaki put her free hand in her jacket pocket and pinched the cloth from the inside. 'Do I really have droopy eyes right now? Huh? Did hiding things not work?' ('I need to work on hiding my emotions then. Luckily, no one's caught on yet.)

      Misaki didn't usually keep things hidden, especially from Iwaizumi or Oikawa. They basically knew every single secret of hers and she knew every secret of theirs, but this...the 'thing' that she had been told of last night...she wasn't sure if she was ready to share it with anyone yet. And let's hope that her mom didn't talk about the 'thing' to Iwaizumi's mom because then Iwa would find out and that would not be fun. At all. Worrying people and relying on them? Misaki hated doing that. She preferred if it was the other way around.

      It was best to keep things quiet. For now. It was temporary, though Misaki wished it could be permanent.

      Three hours and one small match later, practice was over. Everyone had already gone home.

      Everyone except Oikawa, Iwaizumi and Misaki of course.

      For some reason, Oikawa still wanted to stay back and perfect an already-perfected serve. He was in one of his stubborn moods and Misaki and Iwaizumi had agreed. Let him practice some more, just to satisfy himself. (But could he ever really be satisfied with anything less than perfect?

     No amount of convincing could change his mind.)

      "Misaki," Iwaizumi said, breathless. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with his towel. "I'm going to change. Get to him to stop after one more serve, okay? Make sure he doesn't push himself any further than that."

      "Of course," Misaki nodded. "I'll make him stop. You don't worry about that. And go shower as well. You reek of sweat."

      "Hey!" Iwaizumi ruffled her hair, messing up the neatly tied ponytail. Misaki swatted his arm away and sent him a playful glare. He snickered, ruffling her hair once more as he started walking away. Neither of the two noticed Oikawa looking at them with a sharp stare.

      Iwaizumi's footsteps faded into the distance as Misaki turned back to the court. Oikawa was getting ready to do another one of his magnificent jump serves. He threw the ball into the air and jumped. The moment the ball made contact with the palm of his hand, he slammed it across the court where it bounced off the opposing side. If he would have been in a match, that serve would have been a no-touch service ace. Damn. Oikawa was a very good player.

      Oikawa started walking over to the ball cart, but Misaki hurried there before him. "I know you want to practice more, so one more serve and after that you are stopping." She grabbed a ball from the cart and threw it to him. He caught it with ease.

      "Thanks," He said, unusually, less emotional.

      There was something wrong.

      Misaki suddenly realised this. His positioning for his next serve was wrong, there was something off about the way he was holding the ball and his posture was slightly different. He even looked frustrated.

      'Why...? Did something happen to him suddenly or...?'

      He did a jump serve again. This time, instead of the perfect serve, the ball hit the net and fell back into the court side where Oikawa was standing.

      "Uggh damn it!" Oikawa cursed loudly.

      Something was definitely wrong.

      Oikawa rarely sweared or cursed. Or if he did, Misaki hadn't really ever heard him do that. There could only be one reason for this; he was frustrated about something. 'Maybe that maths test...I didn't even ask him how it went. Did it not go good? Is that why he looks mad?'

      Oikawa stalked (rather, stormed) over to the ball cart, ready to take a ball to throw another serve, but Misaki stood in front of the cart, preventing him from getting to the volleyball.

     "Misa-chan," He said, rather coolly, his eyes filled with frustration. "Let me take a ball."

      "No," She shook her head. "You've practiced enough, Oikawa. It's time to be done for the day."

      "I haven't practiced enough," Oikawa answered harshly, shaking his head. "I want to practice more and more till I can perfect my serve.

      "It's already perfect," Misaki said. "Why do you need to change it? It's amazing as it is."

      "No it's not. Stop lying," Oikawa crossed his arms, now fully glaring at her.

      "I'm not lying!" Misaki asserted. "Why would I even wanna lie?"

      "No you are," Oikawa said. "You always lie to me. You're lying again now."

      Something inside Misaki's heart clenched and twisted. "No I'm not. I really am not. What's wrong with you? What happened? I'm here to listen. You know I am."

      "I don't wanna talk about it," Oikawa suddenly turned away. "And nothing happened anyway. So just let me practice, alright?"

      "You know damn well I cannot do that. You're gonna aggravate your knee and make it worse."

      Times like this, Oikawa's height served him an advantage. He stepped sideways and reached behind her, grabbing a volleyball out of the cart with ease. He swiftly started walking away, but Misaki went after him, grabbing onto his wrist. 'Don't be aggressive with him,' She suddenly thought.

      "Please talk to me, Oikawa," Misaki said, voice wavering ever so slightly. "Out of everyone, even Iwa, you know you can talk to me. I'm here to listen to whatever you want to say."

      "Misaki, I don't want to talk -"

      Misaki...that one hurt. No matter how much she said she hated being called by the silly nickname Oikawa had for her, she was used to it now and hearing her full name out of his mouth...it just sounded strange.

      "I don't know what's going on, Oikawa, but don't pretend there's not a problem. What happened? Did the -"

      "There's no problem. None at all," Oikawa interrupted as he spun around, facing Misaki. A dark scowl marred his pretty face. "Stop trying to act like you understand how I feel because you don't."

      Now Misaki flinched. How dare he think that way? How dare he? But...she wouldn't get mad at him, not now; this was strangely reminding her of an incident back in middle school, something that had happened between him and Kageyama. Was he that mad?

      "Oikawa, I just want to help you," She said in a calm voice, though she was not feeling that way. Her heart clenched and twisted around once more.

      "Whatever you're feeling, I'm sure we can..."

      "Maybe you should focus on your own problems first."

      "Excuse me?"

      "You heard me," Oikawa had a nasty look on his face as he stared down at her. He rarely ever got mad, but there were times when he got moody, bottled everything up and then snapped at the first person he saw. Misaki hated when he was like this; an angry, frustrated Oikawa, though she knew none of those feelings were caused by her. It was still the pent-up frustration at their loss; he still blamed himself.

     Most people thought Oikawa was just a boy with a pretty face, but he was incredibly smart and highly perceptive. He noticed things that other people didn't and he knew exactly what to say to make someone fall at his feet (that was a little dramatic, but in the case of his fangirls, it might have some truth). He also knew exactly what words to say that could make someone feel good or worse.

      ('If you're gonna hit it, hit it till it breaks.')

      And in this case, he knew Misaki very well. He knew exactly what to say that would just make her leave; maybe he was being harsh, but right now, he just wanted to perfect his damn serve. He needed to perfect it.

      "You think you're so good at observing people and helping them, but really you aren't," Oikawa started to say, voice harsh and words sharp. "You can be as prideful as you want to be. You can believe that you're good at what you do, but you aren't. I mean, do you even consider your own feelings? Have you ever observed your own self? You're stupid to help others out and then disregard yourself. You're so stuck-up, you really are, thinking that people want to be helped by you. Well newsflash, they don't. Nobody wants your help. You're annoying and you're overbearing."

     Too far. The angel on his shoulder yelled into his ear. You went too far. Oikawa promptly ignored it.

      "Oh," Misaki's eyes flashed dangerously. "That's what you think, huh? Good to know that my best friend feels this way about me. Thanks for letting me know. I won't bother with you anymore."

      "Do what you want, I don't care."

      Misaki clenched her fists and walked to the bench. She grabbed her things and stormed out of the gym, clenching at the front of her jacket. Outside the sun had just started to set and the sky was painted a beautiful orange-yellow shade. But what did that matter to someone whose heart felt like it was going to break?

      No, it had already been broken and Oikawa had just stomped on the broken pieces. Murphy's fucking law, right?

      Everything has to go wrong in the end. 

Huge shoutout to JustSav for making that amazing gif at top and also for helping me out with some of the conversation in this chapter. Go check out her haikyuu fics; you'll love them all!!

Well...I hope that counts as heavy angst lol. Though Kenma also had a mini-cameo

Through this chapter, what I really wanted to was write like some things that I feel about Oikawa as one of his stans lol. When it comes to achieving a goal, Oikawa is the type of person to push himself beyond his limits and overwork himself. He gets tunnel vision and in the end what he thinks of is that goal of his has to be completed. He has to get it. Secondly, Oikawa's definitely an observant and intelligent person even in canon and he would know exactly what someone feels, especially if that someone is close to him like Misaki is. He know how she feels, how she thinks and knows exactly what will make her feel better or worse. And I also think Oikawa is the kind of person that keeps his emotions to himself and those build up inside him and then he explodes later on. Sorry for the little essay lol. 

I'm still not sure about the argument scene; I feel like it could be better but I am pretty happy with what I wrote. And I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as well. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

on a more important note, there are a lot of issues going on in the world and my bio is full of informative carrds regarding those. please check them out, sign petitions, donate and do what you can to spread awareness. and if there's any carrd/petition etc that you want me to share, please feel free to leave them in the comments.