Lom pulled into the garage as Fah opened his eyes for the first time since the high-speed getaway from Mek began. Lom grabbed the groceries, called for the elevator, and waited for Fah. Stepping into their condo, Fah let out an audible sigh.

"Do you feel safer now?" asked Lom.

Fah nodded and continued to take slow, deep breaths to calm down. Lom walked over and hugged him. Fah understood he was trying to comfort him, so he didn't pull away. Instead, he laid his head on Lom's chest. After a few seconds Fah wrapped his left arm around Lom's waist and his right arm around Lom's neck. They stood this way for several minutes. It reminded Lom how much he enjoyed having Fah in his arms.

"Do you want to eat?" asked Lom. If they continued being this close, he was going to want something other than dinner.

Fah's head snapped up in surprise causing Lom to laugh.

"No, I don't mean that! I mean do you want to eat some food? Shall we cook dinner now?" Lom reminded himself to speak more clearly in the future.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Fah dropped his arms, took Lom's phone, and brought up the chef's video. In the kitchen, they chopped vegetables together as they listened to the chef's instructions.

They carried everything to the table. The spicy, earthy scent of the curry filled the air. At the table they stared in silence at the food, each silently praying it had come out right. They tried the curry and surprise shone on Fah's face.

"This is good! We made it and it's delicious!" Fah quickly downed mouthful after mouthful. They ate until they were unable to take another bite. "That was delicious. What else can we make?"

"We can make whatever you want. It might not always turn out this well but we can try, right?" Lom liked the idea of cooking together, it gave them opportunities to be close. After they washed and dried the dishes they went to the living room to watch a movie.

"Fah, why were you so afraid when Mek came to say hello?" asked Lom.

"I don't know him. He could have been coming to hurt you, or me, or both of us."

"Do you think I would stand there with my arm around you if someone dangerous was running up to us? Of course not! You're my baby, and I'd never let anything happen to you." Lom was sincere.

"I'm your what?" asked Fah. He wasn't adverse to Lom calling him his baby but it surprised him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're not my baby. You're my... Fah. Sorry, I'm not sure why I said that. In my whole life, I've never called you my baby. I need sleep." His face was turning red. Fah pretended not to notice but a warmth filled him.

Fah decided to start putting his plan to make Lom fall in love with him into action. They were sitting on the sofa together, side by side. Fah glanced at Lom.

"Lom, I don't want to go to bed but I'm tired of sitting up. Can you lay down on the sofa with your head resting on the far end of the sofa and let me sit between your legs and lay my back against your chest?" asked Fah, smiling.

Lom cocked his head to the side and gazed at him with a quizzical expression. "Sure, I can, but you're being oddly specific."

"It's how I want to rest. If it's uncomfortable for you, tell me." They tried it but Lom didn't like it.

"Fah, How about I lay on my side, and you lie down in front of me? If you lay on your side you can watch TV and I'll hold you so you won't fall." They tried and it worked out fine.

"Mm, I like this," Fah whispered, glancing sideways at Lom.

Is Fah doing this on purpose? I swear, he's been doing and saying things as if he still loves me and wants me to kiss him. What am I supposed to do? Does he remember things but isn't telling me? Lom decided to test him.

"Remember how much my parents wanted you to visit? Don't you think you should come with me to visit them? We can go tomorrow if you'd like," said Lom.

"Okay, are you sure they won't be upset that I can't remember them? If you're going to go, I want to go. I don't want to be left here alone." Fah stopped speaking and thought for a moment. "I thought when you were telling me about my life—and I'm sure I wrote it down—I thought you said they kicked me out of the house after a fight."

Lom realized he told Fah the truth earlier.

Okay, that wasn't a good test.

"Fah, now that you remember you're gay, do you remember who you were with the first time you had sex?"

"Wasn't it Mek? The guy we met on the street?"

"He was your first kiss. Do you remember who the first man was who you had sex with?" Lom watched as Fah tried to remember. It was obvious he was trying hard. Fah's eyes began to tear up. "Fah, are you okay?"

"I can't remember. I can't remember my first kiss even though I know who it was with. I can't remember the first person I had sex with. These are pretty important things to remember and I have no idea. I don't want you to quiz me anymore, I don't like it." Fah sat up, moved to the right, and stared at the TV.

"One last question, do you remember who the second man was that you kissed?" Lom sat up as he asked his question and slid next to Fah.

"Lom, stop it. If I can't remember the first one, why would I remember the second one?"

"Do you want me to give you a hint?"

"I don't think a hint would work since I can't remember anyone," Fah said softly.

"I'll give you one hint but you have to trust me, okay?" Fah nodded his head okay. "Close your eyes."

Fah did as he was asked. Lom stared at Fah, at how trusting he was. No, there was no way Fah remembered anything.

Gently, Lom cupped Fah's chin in his palm, leaned over, and kissed him. The moment their lips touched Fah's eyes flew open but he didn't pull away. He allowed Lom to continue kissing him. Lom closed his eyes. Soon he was aware of Fah's lips moving, kissing him back. They continued to kiss for several minutes. Lom opened his eyes to see Fah staring back at him. He gently pulled back from the kiss.

"Do you remember now?"

Fah looked at him and Lom recognized the look. It was Fah's lustful look; whenever he had wanted more than just a kiss he would gaze at Lom with this expression. They might not have had a lot of time together as lovers but Lom remembered everything about Fah back then.

"I don't remember, sorry. I like it though." Embarrassed by his own words, Fah returned to staring ahead at the television.

"Fah, I have something to tell you. It's the truth and hopefully, your memory will return and you'll know it's the truth."

"What?" Fah sat up so Lom did the same.

"I was the first man you slept with." Lom suddenly felt awkward although he had no idea why. He wasn't telling Fah so he could have sex with him. Knowing this fact wouldn't change Fah's life. However, Lom had felt such sorrow when Fah couldn't remember it had caused him physical pain.

"That must explain it," said Fah.

"Explain what?"

"Whenever we were near each other, when we brushed against each other, or when I held your hand, I always wanted more from you. I wanted you to kiss me then. Now that you've kissed me I want more than that."

"Fah, I would love nothing more than to take you to that bed over there and remind you of everything. I can't though. Your morphine overdose affected your heart as well. I can't do anything that will cause your heart rate to rise or put any stress on your heart. I'm not going to risk hurting you just for sex."

"You shot me," Fah reminded him.

"I'm sorry about that, more than you know. Why are you bringing it up now?" Lom's shoulders drooped and he stared at the floor. He swallowed hard trying to think of something to say.

"I guess you don't want to kill me," Fah said, thinking aloud.

"Fah, I'm not following this conversation. What does my shooting you have to do with sex?"

"If you wanted to kill me you could have kept that information to yourself and had sex with me. You wouldn't worry about killing me with sex."

"Fah, your mind is one twisty maze, isn't it," said Lom. "How can you be sure? Maybe I do want to kill you but I don't want to go to jail and be known as the manhood murderer," said Lom, laughing. He stopped laughing when he saw Fah was still aroused.

"Lom, can I use my mouth on you then?" Fah's innocent expression didn't match his question. Lom took some shaky breaths while searching for the right words.

"Fah, no! Your body needs to recuperate. I can't let you do anything for a couple of weeks. Please, please, don't make this any harder on me. No pun intended."

Fah stared at Lom with his starving-for-affection-gaze and Lom kissed him. This time they kissed slowly. Both knew it wasn't possible to progress any further. Fah began kissing Lom's neck and slid his hand under his shirt. They continued kissing. Lom was in heaven and hell at the same time.

"Fah, please..."

Pushing Lom down on the sofa, Fah threw his leg over his torso and straddled him. He bent over and used both hands to hold Lom's face. Looking directly into Lom's eyes, he whispered, "I think I love you."

Lom hugged him tight to his chest.

I don't know what evil thing I did in my previous life; first, my karma prevented us from being together. Now that sex might kill him, my karma is pushing us closer together.

He continued to hug him tightly and kissed the top of his head, his neck, and his shoulders.

What do virgins who want to stay virgins do when they are together? His mind went blank. He kept seeing himself removing Fah's clothes. Suggesting going to bed wasn't going to help. Maybe he was going to need to sleep on the sofa tonight as he didn't think he could trust himself.

"Fah, the movie is over. I think it's time for you to take your meds and get ready for bed. The doctor will be by tomorrow to check up on you."

He helped Fah get off him and stand up. Lom stood as well. Fah walked to the bathroom without any complaints. Lom heard him brushing his teeth. He wanted to sleep on the sofa without making Fah feel bad. By the time Fah came out of the bathroom, Lom had his sofa bed ready.

"What's this? Why are you sleeping here?" He gave Lom an accusatory look. "Is this because I said I love you?"

"No, no, no...I'm sorry. I think it's safer if I sleep here. I'm afraid I might give into temptation if I'm in bed with you. If you woke me in the middle of the night or early morning before my brain is fully functioning and able to make good decisions, we might have sex."

"I appreciate the thought but, you forgot something."

"What's that?" asked Lom, trying to remember what he had forgotten.

"For us to have sex, I'd have to consent. I don't want to die so, I'm not going to have sex with you until the doctor says it's safe." He looked at Lom to see how he'd respond.

"Oh, yeah, right," was all Lom could say. "Okay, so I'll sleep in the bed...with you."

As he turned to walk away he heard Fah whisper, "Idiot." Lom smiled to himself.