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Flashback:

One day before Zara ran away:

It's been one month since that date and Zara felt closer to him more than ever and not just physical closeness but emotional one too.

Her days were filled with his thoughts and her nights were spent in his arms. These were the best four months of her life.

He still got angry when he saw her getting soft and tried to hush her and she still cried on some things but not in front of him. He didn't like tears so he won't have to see them.

But at the same time she was feeling distant too. Because she was starting to feel that something is not right with her or him.

Like they are heading in wrong direction.

She didn't know why but she was feeling nauseous today. May be she should not have eaten the leftover of last night. Thankfully it was Saturday and she had an off.

Kabir went for some work and told her that he will come before dinner. She was waiting for him, but as they say empty mind is devil's home so the thoughts started coming again.

Ones that were coming from past one month.

She felt as if Kabir was hiding something from her.

He was going for some work frequently and she felt weird about it but didn't ask him as he looked troubled and she didn't want to burden him anymore.

But that didn't mean that she wasn't worried.

Was he starting to get tired of her? She knew that he is not the kind of man who will discard woman like this and maybe that's why he is not directly telling her anything.

But his actions always proved otherwise. His kisses were passionate as ever and they were good together. So, that means that he is not losing interest or anything and something else is the matter.

She wanted to directly question him but stopped thinking that it might be something personal and he will share it when it's the right time.

Liar!

You are just scared that he will say that you shouldn't interfere in his personal matters and you will feel hurt. Her inner voice said and she can't help but agree to it.

Because what right does she have on him? She loved him, he was attracted to her, but he never said anything to indicate that it's beyond attraction for him. Neither did she confess. It just didn't feel right.

She knew she was at fault too and didn't blame him for anything. Everything that happened between them was with mutual agreement but she was worried that while she was in it with all her heart it might be just physical attraction for him and nothing beyond that.

She shook her head to jerk away those thoughts and was glad when he finally came back.

She really needed some company to keep these thoughts away. His presence like always distracted her.

Kabir looked at her and smiled tiredly. He went inside to freshen up and she heated the dinner even though she wasn't feeling any hunger because of  all the vomiting.

She didn't want to worry him because of such a trivial issue so she didn't say anything about her health when he asked her how was her day. He was disturbed.

"Bir..." Zara asked after she silently vomited her dinner when he was in balcony. She needs to tell him that she is not well.

"Yes Sunshine." He said in a really sad voice and Zara noticed that he was gripping the ceiling tightly which he does when he tries to control himself from bursting.

"Are you alright?" She asked placing her hand over his but he withdrew his hand.

Kabir tried to control himself.

No.

He was not.

Nothing in his life was going perfect.

He felt as if he was losing.

And he didn't like that feeling, at all.

But he can't say all that to her.

So he said, "I'm fine."

"I don't think you are but that's alright. You know you can talk to me if you want and if you can't talk to me you can always talk to Dr. Sanaa." Zara spoke looking ahead, trying not to feel hurtful when he withdrew his hand.

He is hurt Zara. It's not the time to be a baby about your stupid feelings. She thought and took a deep breathe, completely missing the look that he was giving her.

Kabir smiled at her understanding but he can't talk to his sweetie pie. Not yet. She was busy in her life and he can't disturb her. They were meeting tomorrow for the get together after Vaish's wedding.

The real one this time; turned out that she did fell in love with Mr. Stranger and there was lots of planning about it. They were Planned To Be Together, as he heard but didn't quite understand it.

But that was not his concern now. He was frustrated for entirely different reasons.

But maybe he could share some things with her. Not everything because that will destroy all the calculated steps that he has taken in her direction.

He can't let anything destroy his plan regarding her. He can't afford two defeats.

He looked ahead and spoke, "I'm an ambitious person. I have plans for everything that I do in my life and I don't like it when things don't happen as per my plans."

He said and Zara just nodded still staring ahead waiting for him to continue but dreading from inside, because the words were going in the direction that she feared the most.

"Last few days, I realised that things are not happening the way I want them to and that makes me frustrated when I'm not able to control things in my life.

Nothing makes me madder than the realisation that I can't do something which I so badly want to do and cannot cut off some people out of my life and show them their true place." He opened for the first time about his life.

Zara was getting surer that he was talking about them because Bir never talked about his feelings. He never shared anything about his life easily and she never pressurised him.

But maybe he is indirectly talking to her because the Dr. Kabir Shah that she knew was such a gentle man that he would never hurt anyone's feelings directly.

But she needed to be sure. May be she should ask him directly?

But that way he will feel obligated to stay with her. She never wanted to be anyone's obligation. Her mother married her dad because of family obligations and that didn't end well for anyone.

So if two people are obligated to be together then it was not the right thing. She knew it for sure.

She lived her life bearing the burden of that.

So she asked the final question that she could without directly expressing her thoughts,

"What do you want from your life right now Bir?"

Kabir took a deep breathe.

What did he want from his life?

Such a simple question with such a complicated answer.

He kept on looking ahead and closed his eyes before speaking, "I want freedom from all the burdens in my life. Nothing to bind me to the past. I want to live in present and may be think about a better future."

He said the words that sealed their fate.

Those words might have liberated him from his burdens of the past but burdened her for life.

"I hope you get what you want. I should sleep now, I'm feeling tired." She said and he just nodded wanting to stand in the calmness for time being, not realising that he has started the storm within her.

***

Flashback:

Day Zara got to know about her pregnancy:

Next day Zara was asleep for long time as it was Sunday and when she woke up she heard him going to the balcony to talk to his friend, Ms. Vaishali about the get together.

She was still thinking about his words which were proving her doubts right.

She wasn't an expert in relationships but she knew that if a person likes someone genuinely for that much time, he would introduce her to their close friends or at least talk about her to his friends or about them to her but he never did that.

She just shook her head and drank milk hoping to feel a little better than yesterday.

It was all in her head, maybe. She needed to feel physically good before arriving at any decision or speaking to him.

"Sunshine, I need to go somewhere today. I won't be here for the dinner but you make sure that you eat both times."

Zara just smiled tiredly and nodded again feeling bad about his secretiveness.

"Are you alright?" He asked looking at her and placed his hand over hers but she withdrew her hand just like he did last night.

"I'm fine." She replied. "Just want to sleep more." She added to make it convincing.

Kabir nodded at her knowing fully well that she was lying but decided to talk to her after coming back.

All in time.

So he kissed her cheeks and left, not realising that this was probably the last time he will be able to kiss her.

As everything was about to change.

***

Zara decided to visit the clinic nearby in the evening when she continued feeling sickness.

Something was not right. She could feel it.

She would have called Kabir but his words were still roaming in her head and she knew that he was in a get together with his friends and didn't want to disturb him especially now that she was starting to see the truth.

She met the doctors and as expected they took her blood sample, for various test but when the doctor asked if she could be pregnant, her heart started beating wildly.

No, that could not be happening.

She had her periods two months ago but that was normal for her as she has irregular cycles. Sometimes she had a gap of two months if she was stressed or didn't eat properly.

But that was before, now there was a possibility of something. She bit her lips realising that she was not on any pills and Kabir was the one who took care of ...

Did he by mistake miss something? And then realised that there were indeed few times...

She held her head in her hands.

She can't believe that being a doctor herself she didn't see it till now.

The doctor called her and told her what she already knew.

The hormones, the mood swings, the nausea and of course the elevated hcg; everything was indicating her that she was indeed six weeks pregnant.

What a mess had they landed in?

***

She drove home carefully still trying to wrap her head around the situation.

She knew that a panic attack was coming but she also knew that she has to keep it under control. If not for her then for the tiny life that was now living within her.

She reached his apartment and each and every corner was full of their memories.

Memories which were becoming overwhelming each and every second now and sucking her into darkness.

Bir loves kids.

But a baby with her?

Were they even in the ready for it?

She knew she wanted a mini version of Kabir but last night he said that he wanted to be free from the burdens of past.

What if she and her baby became a burden on him?

People around her didn't leave a small five year old child and taunted her for being a burden on her father, so much so that she believed it to be true for so long.

She can't let her baby have same fate as hers.

She can't even begin to think what she will do if he suggested that he didn't want this baby...

No Zara he is not like that. Come in your senses. Her inner voice tried to shout but she shut it.

This was too much for her.

She will get an anxiety attack if she stays here and thinks anything in that direction. She can't even take her pills now. They were not safe during pregnancy.

No, she can't stay here.

She needed to get away from here.

She needed to breathe and think and process everything.

All her worst fears were coming true.

And she was not able to breathe.

She needed to get away.

She has to.

She must.

She just knew one thing, that she was pregnant with Dr. Kabir Shah's baby; without any formal relationship with him.

So she wrote a quick note with tears falling from her eyes, continuously. He will call her weak if he sees her crying, everyone does.

But she didn't care.

She just wrote the note and left after taking the keys of her old apartment which still has few of her stuff but knew that she can't go just there just yet and decided to drive in the direction of beach.

She messaged Kabir before leaving, "I'm pregnant."

As simple as that because she didn't know how he would react.

And for the first time in their entire time together, she didn't care how he would feel.

She just knew that she needed fresh air to breathe and cold water on her feet to feel relaxed.

***

So... This is how it happened. Zara was having a panic attack that day.

Feels abrupt? No. A girl having as much issues as Zara had, will definitely get scared when she comes to know about her pregnancy without knowing how to name their relationship.

And a relationship having so much insecurities and secrets, well it doesn't have future. Till now Zara was worshipping the ground Kabir walks.

And as I always say, my female leads are never going to be dependent on males to the extent that they can't think logically. So, Zara needs to realise that and live for herself and her baby. Without Kabir.

So, now I'm starting a new poll, a question that I asked in the starting few chapters, and you guys were not able to answer that then because no one knew Zara properly. But now you do so let me ask once again,

Team Zara

Or

Team Kabir

Now you guys can go back and read chapter 3, 4 and 5, I guess. Zara's pov will be cleared now. But remember that I have written them very early so there might be some mistakes regarding her feelings though I have tried my best to make it a continuation. It fits perfectly for me.

As for Kabir's behaviour in those chapters, well let's wait for an explanation.

Note: a big thanks for nominating my works in that awards. In case you haven't you can read the details in last chapter.

I request all my readers to please vote and comment. As I'm on my writing spree and need constant boost up!