Enjoy reading (:

Because I'm excited!
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Flashback:

Twenty Four Years Old Kabir:

One week after he left:

He was broken.

The pain was unbearable and so was the guilt.

But he felt powerless against that man.

Didn't she hate him after knowing his secret? Didn't she despise his existence in her life? Didn't 'that man' showed him the proof that His sweetie pie is never going to forgive him, for keeping such a big secret away from her.

He didn't care if it made him look like a stupid, coward. He would rather be called a coward than being a subject of her resentment.

Also Mr. Malik has threatened him to tell the entire truth and he knew that it will destroy her because then she will start hating herself.

He can't let that happen.

Better him than her.

He has made a promise to take care of her always and if him going out of her life was good for her then so be it.

But how was he supposed to survive?

He felt as if the sole purpose of his existence was taken away. He found himself to be the same nine year old whose mother left him and he didn't have anyone to depend onto.

Till now his entire life revolved around grooming his sweetie pie or taking revenge from that man. But now he felt purposeless.

His sweetie pie was far away because of his actions.

He punched the bag with so much anger that his hand started bleeding but he didn't care. Nothing felt painful anymore. It was all numb. Like him. Nothing matters.

No one cares if he lives or dies. If he were to die today no one will know; no one will come to his funeral. Not that it mattered to him. Dying would mean freedom.

Freedom was a luxury which he never had. His soul was tired of bearing burdens from childhood. He was so tired of wearing the strong person mask all the time. He needed a break.

He needed to get away, to go to some place he could be himself without any façade. And so he came to this small town near her mother's hometown. That amongst other reasons.

This town was away from modern civilisation which meant the people still had goodness in their heart.

But even then he didn't feel happy because he knew something or someone was missing.

He shook his head.

He joined a small hospital and started seeing few patients but nothing helped.

Nothing mattered.

His depression was increasing with time and the thoughts of loneliness, uselessness were filling his mind.

Every day he thought of escaping and going into limbo but kept on looking at his mother's picture and her lesson, never think of giving up on your life. It's a beautiful gift from Almighty. He has created you and he will never give you more trouble than you can handle.

He was barely holding on to it.

***

Eight months have passed since he has left and every day felt heavier than previous one. To outsiders he appeared as charming doctor with ocean blue eyes and smile on his face but no one could see the pain in those eyes. No one could understand his pain except his sweetie pie but now she was not here.

No one was here.

He was all alone.

No one cares.

His life doesn't matter.

He shook his head to jerk away those thoughts. He saw a young kid calling him and he smiled tiredly. They were the only right thing in his life now and then felt repulsed at his own thoughts. He was getting happy by watching sick children? Just how desperate he could be!

"Hi champ! You called?" Kabir asked after mentally scolding himself.

"Yes Dr. Kabir. I need your help to get out of here for two hours tomorrow. Please pretty please!" The twelve year old kid named Gautam said and Kabir sighed.

Gautam was admitted last week because he was suffering from lower respiratory tract infection and can't take part in any strenuous activity. He needed his oxygen mask if any emergency happens. Kabir can't allow him to go out.

"Gautam, champ you know I can't allow that. You can't go out and run or do anything that will strain your tiny body. We need to make this body fit before you go out in the field." Kabir explained and Gautam's smile faltered.

"But Doctor I won't do anything strenuous, I'm not going to run or do anything that will put me in danger." He pleaded and Kabir realised that it was going to be a difficult conversation.

"Ok, champ you know what, tell me what do you want to do? I will try to arrange for it to happen here itself!" Kabir tried to persuade him.

"But she can't come here Dr. Kabir." Gautam finally said and Kabir smiled realising the problem.

"This 'she' is your crush?" Kabir asked smiling.

"She is everyone's crush." Gautam said while shy smile.

"Who is she? Your teacher?" Kabir asked with a smile, thinking about the childhood days when boys develop crush on their teacher.

"She is our mental health teacher. She is actually from the nearby town. But our school has hired her as a guest lecturer to teach us about the importance of mental health. She comes once a month to take one hour long class. She teaches serious things in really fun way. She is so beautiful and fun. I really don't want to miss her class." Gautam explained making puppy face and Kabir smiled for the first time after he left home.

This teacher sure was something; Gautam was totally trying to sell her. But sadly Kabir can't allow him to go.

"No champ. Still I can't allow you to go. You need to be observed continuously by medical staff in case of emergency which can't happen if you go out." Kabir finally said and thought Gautam will give up but the boy smiled widely.

"Then there's no problem Dr. Kabir as our Ms. Sunshine is actually a doctor. She told us that she is training to be a surgeon in her hometown which is nearby. She could take care of me if any emergency happens, right?"

Gautam said and Kabir suddenly realised something. His ocean blue eyes shined with a gleam of hope, after so many months.

Nearby town was the place where...

Fate was really working hard. No matter how much he tries to test it. He smirked mysteriously.

Let's check you up for the second time, shall we?

Kabir thought something other than his guilt for the first time in eight months and finally felt some emotion inside his usual numb self.

Anticipation.

***

"Gautam where does your Ms. Sunshine takes her class?" Kabir asked after entering the campus with Gautam who was having a very light backpack having compatible breathing apparatus.

"She takes class in our auditorium. All secondary class students have to attend her lecture so we gather in auditorium. It's dark after the lecture starts and she doesn't like darkness, so to make atmosphere light she asked us to call her Ms. Sunshine." Gautam explained with enthusiasm and Kabir smiled mischievously.

"I will sit behind you. Your parents talked to the principal and she has given the permission. But don't call me Dr. Kabir here, champ. I don't want to steal Ms. Sunshine's brightness. Call me BB." Kabir said and Gautam nodded because he would do anything to attend her lecture.

"This is going to be fun." Kabir said and Gautam nodded innocently not understanding the double meaning.

***

Kabir settled behind Gautam, to a place which was not easily spottable. As it is it was going to be dark, still he didn't want to take any chances.

He knew he was doing a mistake. He was expecting something and expectations are cause of sorrow. But he allowed himself to slip away this time.

What's the worst that could happen?

Well, he already lived the worst but he knew that this one will hit hard too.

Then why are you putting yourself in such position? Why take the risk? His conscience asked.

Because it's worth it.

He thought and then shook his head to let the thought go out as soon as it came.

He didn't have the opportunity to think anymore as some teacher addressed the students. He looked at the stage with ... hope?

He didn't know what he expected but when an unknown girl in her early twenties came out he could feel sound of something breaking inside.

So this is what breaking of hope feels like.

He took a deep breath wanting to go away from there but knew he couldn't because of Gautam.

What was he even thinking? The possibility of what he is expected to happen was so rare that he couldn't even...

He shouldn't have hoped.

"Hey lovelies! How are you all? How was the previous session? I hope you did the exercise that was given to you." The lady said with a smile and Kabir could understand why children liked her. She has a good smile.

"So let's get started with today's lecture, shall we?" She asked and stopped when she saw some girl in crowd raising her hand.

"What happened, Ms...?" She asked.

"Riya." The girl replied.

"Okay Ms. Riya what happened? Any doubts regarding the last lecture? Or something else" She asked with a knowing smile. She knew what Riya wanted to ask.

Smart woman.

Kabir thought.

"Why is Ms. Sunshine not here to greet us today with you, Ms. Neha?" Riya asked and the whole crowd stopped whispering.

And so did Kabir's heart.

For a second, well technically it did not. Because he won't be alive then but his breathing did stop. He reminded himself to breathe, slowly and steadily.

"Good question Riya. But as you all know that your Ms Sunshine is also a surgeon in process so she has some emergency at hospital which made her a little late. She will join us later. She asked me to start the lecture and promised that she will come to meet you all later." Neha said and everyone smiled.

"By the way guys, am I that bad alone that you all keep on missing your Ms. Sunshine. I'm the real psychiatrist here you know, with a degree and all." Neha said in a joking manner and everyone laughed.

"We love you both." Riya just said and Neha nodded with a smile.

"So now shall we start our session?" Neha asked and there was a loud cheer in the crowd, "Yes!"

And just like that Kabir's mind too cheered once again.

Here it comes again.

Hope.

***

Kabir was now listening to the lecture for almost forty minutes and liked Neha's thoughts and way of explaining stuff to children. She has good interaction skills.

He occasionally checked his phone, his new number. He has left everything back. His number, his social media account, anything and everything that could trace him. He knew his friends might try to find him and he knew that he would give up if he saw them once but he felt so lonely at times that he can't help but look at few old pictures.

That didn't help him; in fact it just increased his loneliness. This was one of those moments when he was looking at them. See this was happens to a depressed person.

They feel lonely while sitting in a crowd.

They smile but don't laugh.

They live but don't exist.

Once again those thoughts of past started coming to his mind. His decision to leave everything just like that and his guilt about everything.

He started playing with his ring, which his sweetie pie has gifted him; a simple one but meaningful as it was given by her.

Now the ring was with him but she was not.

And whose fault is that? He thought and smiled sadly as now his mind was once again going to start this never ending battle between right and wrong.

He was sick of it.

He wanted to not feel it for few minutes.

Every damn emotion goes away but guilt stays!

Why?

Why it's so hard to stick to one decision? It was wrong for many people but he knew it was right for her and that's the only thing that should matter.

Then why was this constant debate going on his mind? He was becoming a prisoner of his mind. He knew it. He saw it coming and yet he can't come out of it.

The darkness never affected him as much as it was doing today. So he took a deep breath and thought of going out of this dark auditorium.

He was about to stand up but suddenly saw the stage brightening up and the children cheering.

It was as if the crowd came to life. Even Gautam screamed a little.

He looked up to see that;

Sunshine was here.

Finally.

***

Because it was getting too dark and we all needed a little bit of Sunshine (;

Anu guess who is she though *smiling widely*

Shocked?

Excited?

Remember that this is around eight months after Kabir left (;

Not something we heard earlier, I guess. Interesting enough now? (;