Looking in the mirror, I rub my hand along the slight bump that has just shown up. Turning sideways, I suck in my stomach, watching as it goes completely flat before breathing out again.

"It's cute," Noah says from behind me, laying across the pillows on my bed.

This village is huge, and many of the tents they had set up were unused. They aren't too big, just one room. There is enough space for a bed, a small seating area, and a fire pit.

It was easy enough for everyone who wanted their own to get one. I had been one of the only people to request my own tent. Mom had worried, not wanting me or any of my siblings to be out of his sight.

The disappearance of Aunt Grace and Aunt Olive has him more nervous than I have ever seen him. So, even though I have my own home, Mom insists on checking on me multiple times a day.

Looking at Noah in the mirror, I give him a tense smile, letting my shirt drop back down. "It's starting to feel more real now."

He pats the bed space next to him, watching me as I walk over and sit. "Have you told Rowan yet?"

Wincing, I look away. Noah just sighs, reaching over to grab my hand. "The heat moon is tonight. I don't think either of us is going to be surprised when our heats don't come."

Nodding, I look over at where Noah's hand is resting on his own stomach. He got hurt pretty badly in the crash. He had been unconscious for a week from a nasty concussion. His leg is still healing, having been broken in two different places. It has just been recently that he has walked around, having to stay off his leg to let it heal.

"I have no doubt in my mind that I'm pregnant. The cravings have been getting worse."

Noah picks up the blanket I had snagged from Rowan, Henry, and Rosalie's tent. It has his scent embedded in it, so I know that he must have been the only one using the blanket. The thought calms something in me.

"I can tell," he drops the blanket over my legs. He looks up at me, brown eyes filled with softness. "You're going to have to tell him sometime, Matty. You can't keep this a secret forever."

"I-I know," I whisper, hands fisting in the blanket. "But Henry and Rosalie have needed him. We've been selfish before, and I can tell that it is hurting all of them. I don't want to be responsible for their wolves going crazy.

"About that," Noah bends over, barely managing to snag his bag before sitting back. "I talked to a few of the older wolves who live here. They said they haven't heard of anything like the situation that you guys are in, but they did give me some books." He shrugs, handing the three heavy, ancient books to me. "Maybe we can find something useful."

"Thanks, Noah," I say, setting the books down. "But I don't know if I can do this anymore."

He looks up at me, eyes wide. "What do you mean?"

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I force myself to talk. "My relationship with Rowan has been rocky from the start. There hasn't ever been a chunk of time where we can even say things were good. We love each other, at least, I know I love him, but I feel like I am always being hurt in some way."

"You just got to ignore what others say, Matty."

"It's not even what others are saying. It's the not being able to sleep in the same tent with him. The not having any time where I can be alone with him so that I can tell him that we are having a baby together. The constant worrying that he is going to leave me."

"He wouldn't," Noah reassures, wrapping his arms around my waist and rubbing my side. "He loves you too much. Anyone who isn't blind could see that."

My hands pull the blanket up to my face, and I bury my nose in the softness, reveling in Rowan's scent. "There are only two choices: he leaves me and the three of them survive, or he stays with me and eventually goes crazy. I love him too much to allow him to do that. I can't watch the man I love continue to go back to his mates after we are together, and I can't be the reason he goes insane.

"You're not giving him any chance," Noah murmurs, eyebrows crinkled in concern. "No way to fix this."

"There isn't anything that can be done to fix this." Dropping the blanket, I rest my hands on my stomach. "I'm just going to have to let him go. But at least I get a part of him."

"Matty..."

Forcing myself to smile, I look over at Noah. "Don't worry. I'll tell him soon about the baby. I won't keep them away from each other. That would just be cruel."

Noah doesn't say anything for a bit, just takes the books from me. He pushes up from the bed hobbling over to the door. But before he leaves, he turns back to look at me. "I know it hurts, Matty, but I don't think you should give up on him just yet."

He doesn't wait for me to answer before pushing aside the cloth that acts as my door and leaves the tent.

Laying back on the bed, I rest my hand on my stomach. The blanket from before is on the ground, and my hand flops around as I reach for it. Eventually, I find it, pulling it around me so that I am wrapped up like a cocoon.

Rowan's scent surrounds me, like a warm comfort. It almost feels as amazing as when he is here with me, pulling me close as he places soft kisses on the back of my neck. The memory or him doing that when we were in the tree house has me tearing up.

It hurts to think of our times together. They seem so few and far between. While they are wonderful moments, so filled with love I feel as if I am about to burst, they are so short. When they are over and we have to go back to reality, it is cold. The happiness of having him disappears when he leaves me.

Seeing him with Rosalie weeks ago, both of them holding onto Henry while the alpha got patched up was a slap of reality in the face. That was the first time that I felt nasty about myself. That what I had with Rowan was something that made me nauseous. Guilt had settled in my stomach, the loving looks Rosalie was giving him not helping in the least.

I couldn't even stand to look at them, knowing that I was the lover on the side, the one keeping Rowan from his mates. When Rowan had looked at me, I couldn't hold his gaze. It hurt too much.

Ever since then, I haven't had any time with Rowan. He has been too busy with his mates and I have done my best to avoid them.

But Noah is right. I have to tell him about the baby. Especially since tonight is a heat moon. That means that I have to be twelve weeks already. The time has flown by. With everything else that has been going on, I haven't had any time to really think about the pregnancy, that there is a tiny baby growing inside me.

Forcing myself to sit up, I look around for something to write on. It takes me fifteen minutes of searching, but I finally find a wrinkled piece of paper in the bottom of my pack. A chewed up pencil ends up being in a different pocket entirely.

            Rowan,

Meet me tonight at the back of the orchard. We need to talk.

-MS

Biting my lip, I read over the note. It takes a lot of willpower to not scratch anything out and start again. Instead, I fold it up tightly.

Noise greets me as I walk out of my tent. Everything is so lively here. There is always something going on, and it is brilliant to see. Having a community that consists of many types of shifters means that there are many traditions that are celebrated. Tonight is the celebration of our wolf ceremony: the heat moon. A third of the camp here is made up of wolf shifters, so most of the village is bubbling with excitement.

"Matty, love, I was just looking for you."

Turning, I see Mom walking up to me, a small smile on his face. His eyes run over my body, stopping on my stomach for a second before returning to my eyes. "It's a little cold to be out here without a coat, don't you think?"

"I'm fine, Mom. I promise."

He lets out a long sigh, giving a small nod of his head. "Alright, love. Well, make sure to come over for dinner tonight. We all miss you."

Nodding my head, I give my Mom a tight hug. Even though I just saw all of them a couple days ago, I don't bother to argue. Mom is hurting, and if the simple act of me coming over for dinner puts him at ease, then I have no problem doing it.

Besides, it will nice to not be alone for a few hours.

Reluctantly, Mom pulls away. He drops his hand down to my stomach, making me pause. "She's growing."

A small smile comes over me, and I don't bother to try and hide it. "Yeah, she is."

Mom nods. "My food is working then." And with that, he turns away, heading back in the direction of the family tent they had chosen. It is twice the size of mine, with two rooms and multiple beds.

Rolling my eyes, I continue down the walk to Rowan's tent. Mom had started to insist that the baby is a girl. I find it ridiculous, but I let Mom indulge. There is no possible way for us to know the gender until the baby is born, but no sense in arguing with Mom when he thinks he is right.

No one is at Rowan's tent when I finally make it there. There is a wooden bowl stitched to the side of the tent, made just for when people want to deliver a message. Looking around, I double check that no one is around before dripping the note inside.

A drop of water hits my cheek as I step back out on the path. Looking up at the sky, I notice dark clouds rolling in. It seems there will be a storm coming in tonight. The thought of going out to the orchard has me shivering, but I push the thought aside. I'll endure the rain so that I can speak to Rowan, even if it will be miserable.

Instead of going back to my own tent, I walk towards my parents.

It was the right choice. Mom greets me when I step inside, acting as if he didn't just see me. He wraps me in a tight hug, ushering me over to one of the seats in front of the fire. A second later, he is placing a steaming hot cup of tea in my hands and dropping two thick blankets on my lap.

It feels nice to be fussed over, so I sit back, laughing as Mom pats my stomach before going back to making dinner. My siblings come stumbling into the tent not long after, and Mom chides them, telling them to leave their messy shoes at the door. Darcy mumbles about her shoes not even being overly muddy but does what Mom says anyway.

The sight has me laughing any more. And I wonder what my own child will be like. The thought has me stilling, and I drop my hand to my stomach. The thought of being a single parent had never crossed my mind, but I essentially will be.

Shaking my head, I force the thought away, turning back into my siblings' nonsensible rambles of the new people they had met. Closing my eyes, I try to absorb their joy, but no matter how hard I try, I can't shake the sadness settling in my heart.

*****

Just a quick note: updates will be moved to Thursdays, instead of Fridays, since I have a new story coming tomorrow.