"I hope it would last a lifetime"

That's what I thought that day you entered the shop I worked at, wearing your big hoodie and your wonderful smile. Your messy hair looked like an after-sex hairstyle and at that time I didn't knew I would have the opportunity to verify that... One of your friends forgot to buy some things for your dinner and I remember how you looked a bit annoyed. Something I could easily understand. 

Even though you were alone I remember how loud you were, grumbling alone while choosing what you needed. It was dark outside, the storm was threatening the town so I understood you didn't want to stay longer than you had to so that you avoid to rain which would soon drown everything.

That was actually just one of the many reasons I was sad that day. As I looked at you, I remember my thoughts started to go with the flow. How did that week become worse than I ever expected? I was sleeping at the back of my car at that time, because my family found out about my homosexuality. Showering at the swimming pool was an option I took but it always had the effect to make me cry from being alone in this situation. A few days before, someone I thought I loved back then had cheated on me. Bobby wasn't even in the country since he decided to visit his own family for the month so I had nothing and no one to talk to. I just felt so lonely and betrayed, dirty and pathetic. With all that things in my mind, I didn't even realize a tear was running on my cheek or that you stopped your shopping. Your dark eyes were scanning what seemed to be my soul, curious but quiet for the first time since you entered the shop.

"Rough day?" You asked while coming to the checkout.

"Rough week..." I mumbled with a small smile while boxing your items.

Your deep and warm voice softened a bit after hearing the tone of mine, quite weak because of everything I tried to hold back. You seemed to look at me as if I was a breakable thing and I had to admit I didn't know how I could take this information. Or how I could take the feeling inside my chest, the one who wanted to be protected by someone's arms right there.

"You're still here for a long time?"

"Hm.. I should work at least one hour but with the storm I think I will close the store after you. Why?"

"Just wondering..."

You packed your things up in your bag, your eyes drown in your thoughts. Actually, I became curious about your question and I just looked at you, wondering if you would leave then. I had to admit I didn't want to, even though I didn't know why. It was a bit comforting not to be alone for once in the week. The few customers didn't really talk to me, so it felt good.

"Actually, would you wait a bit outside after closing ? Like 10 minutes?"

It was surprising. Why would I wait outside when the rain will be released from the sky soon? I opened my mouth to answer you than but you just put an umbrella in front of me.

"If you want take that. I will be quick I promise. I'm the kind of guy with long legs."

You pointed out the fact that I was small with a big warm-hearted smile that made my heart flutter for the first time. I was nearly going to let this one go just because of it, actually.

"What's small is cute, what's tall is stupid." I mumbled with a little smile. "My car is just in front of the shop, if it rains I will be in it."

You laughed at my answer and nodded.

"Small but spicy. As I like them."

And you ran.

Just like that.

Leaving me alone in the store, my heart pounding in my chest, my cheeks burning from turning so red.

I wasn't expecting this at all and a small laugh fell out of my mouth, lightening a bit my sad heart. What a phenomenon.

Quickly, I cleaned up what I had to, before closing the shop. I didn't know if you would really come back but I was curious. And to be honest I was hoping a bit. As the wind was attacking everything, I decided to go straight into my small car, only to escape the drops of rain who started to fall just when I closed the door. A sigh escaped my mouth as I looked in the back, noticing the few stuffs I saved from my bedroom. Even if you didn't come back, after all I had nowhere to go. So I listened to some music, trying to relax while watching the rain.

You weren't long in fact. I saw you as you searched for the right car, protecting something in your hands from the drops. I decided to put on the car's headlights to show you where I was as you run toward me, entering by the passenger door. You sat quickly, grumbling again about the fact you didn't succeed to avoid looking like a wet dog (which made me laugh).

"Take this. That's my treat. It's always good after a harsh week." You said as you give me a medium coffee, warm and protected by yourself during your race. 

"You didn't have to.."

"Just say thank you and drink. You're small, you need some warm things."

"And you need to be polite. I'm older than you, you brat."

You just laughed while looking at me.

"So do I need to take the coffee back?"

"NO."

My shout was a bit louder than expected but I started to drink immediately, nearly burning my tongue while you were dying from you laughter.

"Slowly, sweetheart. You have all your time."

Was it funny to you? To make me blush like that?

Because it looked like it. However I didn't take it badly since I felt surprisingly good with you from the start. I didn't mind your brat side as I saw honesty in your eyes. Always looking at me as if I was going to break inside your arms or anything, you were cautious not to go to far. After all, I was still an unknown small man to you.

Before I could say something, before I could break the cozy silence where we drank our hot drinks, you just looked at the back with curiosity. If only you knew how I hated myself for letting a stranger saw me as that, as a lonely and sad guy living in his car. But that's what I was back then right?

"You have a lot of things here! Are you moving to a new place?"

I could have nod. I could have lied. After all, I didn't know you.

"No. I live here."

Honesty was the best answer to your sweet behavior while you didn't even know me.

"Here? Like in your car? But why?"

"I was cheated on and my family found out I'm gay. They just gave me half an hour to take what I could and asked me to go away. That's all."

Actually, I was afraid. Afraid that you would be shocked, disgusted or anything. That you would leave. Except Bobby, a lot of my friends left me because they didn't think it was normal to like the same sex. I was trying to act detached but, inside myself, I was shaking  from stress.

However, you've always been surprising to me. While I was waiting some insults and someone leaving my car, you just looked at the rain.

"People are trash. I'm sorry for you to have a family as disgusting as that." You seemed calm but I saw your burning eyes from where I was.

"You don't...insult me?"

"Why would I? Is that a kink or something?" You tried to laugh it out until you saw the shock on my face. "Don't tell me people are insulting you because you like men?"

I simply nodded, weak on the inside. I was on the verge of tears and I didn't want to think about all the times I got beat up, insulted... just because of that. I was disgusted by myself, I won't deny it. Everyone taught me I shouldn't be like that so why did I like men? Why was I a failure? A monster? (Actually I couldn't say it to Bobby since he punched me in the face once for stopping me from "saying such dumb things".)

"I have a couch. You can sleep on it if you want until you find something."

"What? No! You don't even know me? I don't even know your name! And you have friends who are waiting for you..." I answered, shocked and unsettled.

"Junhoe. Goo Junhoe. That's my name." You finished you coffee while looking at me, a smirk on your handsome face. "They forgot the food, it will be a lesson if I ditch them. Moreover, I don't like people throwing others up because they don't function how they want them to. Love is love, no matter which sex you love. You fall in love with a person, not with their dick or their vagina. That's what I think."

Were you determined to surprise me, Junhoe? Did you know how much you words comforted my soul? Did you know how much this shitty day started to appear like a sunny Sunday in my heart?

"Are you taking the offer, Mister Small-and-spicy?" You just asked while tending your hand toward me.

I let a soft laugh break the silent I was put in, doing the same to shake your hand. I wasn't the kind of adventurous guy who would do strange things like this but for once, I wanted to try. Being the way I was didn't work, why wouldn't I try to change? I wanted to trust you, just a bit. So I shook your hand.

"We have a deal. Thank you, for real. Oh and I'm Jinhwan, you little brat."

"Happy you're accepting, Small-and-spicy Jinhwan!"

You gave me you better smile that day. Big, warm-hearted and ready to take my heart by surprise.

Everything sound so weird when you look at it like that. Why did I let a stranger act like that with me? Why was I this honest with you from the start? Why did I accept to go with you ? Why didn't I leave your apartment once Bobby came back to Korea?

I will never have a proper answer. Maybe I want to believe in fate for once. Maybe the red string linked us from the start and made us do all these things that seemed like old blurred memories.

Maybe the fate put you on my way, on that rainy day.

I want to believe that.

Every night, when I'm still awake, while my back his against your naked chest, while your arm hold my waist, I want to think fate decided to save me.

Because if it's fate, that means you can't leave me, right?