"You sure your new team is going to be okay with you bringing two extra suitcases back on the flight?" Nyberg asked.

With my knees on top of my second suitcase to weigh it down, I finished zipping it up before glancing back at him. "They're going to have to be."

I had let my Coach know I'd be flying back with my remaining belongings tomorrow morning, though to be fair, I hadn't specified how much. I figured I'd be able to squeeze everything into a large suitcase. Though I'd underestimated. It'd taken a trip to the department store for another suitcase to finish packing my clothes and the rest of my belongings that I'd left lying around the apartment, and even that was a tight squeeze.

"Well, if you do need to lose some weight in those bags, I'll happily take the PS4 off your hands."

"I'm sure you would." I chuckled as I stood up, dusting my hands off on my jeans. "In fact, I'm surprised you didn't try to hide it and keep it for yourself."

"Thought about it," he drawled before shrugging, "but it's yours. I'll buy a new one when I get the chance."

"Great." I punched him lightly in the bicep. "Then I can kick your ass from across the country."

A bark of laughter escaped him and he shook his head with amusement. "You're dreaming if you think that's true."

"We'll just have to wait and see then."

The good-natured ribbing continued—back and forth—as we each took one of the suitcases from my now-empty room and rolled them toward the door. We'd already agreed that they'd stay at the apartment for the rest of the day and I'd pick them up early before having to board the team bus to the airport.

"So, do the Royals need extra practice time this afternoon to get ready to face us?" Nyberg asked teasingly. "Or do you have time to grab lunch?"

"You forget that I know all your moves, so you can bet we'll be ready to put up a fight," I replied before rubbing my chin a few times with my right thumb. "But, uh, I can't do lunch."

He lifted a brow. "Oh?"

"Yeah, I—"

My phone buzzed in my pocket, cutting me off as I pulled it out to see a message from Lia confirming we were still meeting in half an hour. And knowing how tightly packed her schedule was lately at work, I quickly shot off a reply.

"I'm assuming you have other plans?"

"What?" My gaze snapped back up to meet his as I tucked my phone away. "Oh, yeah. I'm, uh, actually meeting up with Lia before I head to practice." While I expected some sort of reaction, it was a bit surprising to see how quickly his expression shifted. Suddenly he was looking at me like I'd been transformed into a unicorn right before his very eyes. "What?"

"Nothing," he replied, shaking himself out of it. "Sorry, I just didn't know the two of you were still talking. I thought, you know, you would've cut her loose by now with the move."

"I mean, I sort of did," I admitted. "But we're friends."

He shot me a look of disbelief. "Friends?"

"Yeah, friends," I confirmed. "And just because I'm not on the east coast because the fucking Knights didn't want to keep me, that doesn't mean I'm just going to toss that away."

Bringing his hands up defensively, he said, "Woah, man, calm down. I didn't mean it like that."

I sighed. "I know you didn't."

"And you know I couldn't have stopped the trade if I tried. That's not how the league works. We all miss you here, but maybe, just maybe, Los Angeles really is what's best for your game right now. I mean, me and some of the guys have been watching your games and you're making a difference."

Lifting the corner of my mouth, I said, "Enough to trample you guys tonight, hopefully."

"Good luck getting a shot passed me," he said, hitting his chest in confidence. "But back to Lia," he continued, scrutinizing my expression for some sort of hidden answers, "you guys kept in touch?"

"Yeah," I conceded, though held up a hand before he could cut in. "But it's nothing serious. It never has been."

"Really?" he asked flatly.

"Really."

"Okay, okay." He nodded, though it was clear he didn't believe me. "Then tell me, how often do you guys talk? A few times a week?" He lifted a brow. "Every day?"

"Uh, I don't know. Most days, I guess."

Usually at night or during our spare moments, when the two of us weren't neck deep in our respective work. Though I kept that to myself.

"And would it be weird if you guys suddenly stopped talking? Not a peep. Just full radio silence?"

I exhaled slowly, combing my fingers through my hair. "I don't know, man. I mean, yeah, it would be."

"So, hear me out for a second," he said. "Maybe you should talk to Lia about the fact that you guys are in a relationship, but you just haven't put a label on it."

I was about to refute his words, except when I went to open my mouth, another voice spoke up in the back of my head.

What if he was right?

Back in Los Angeles there'd been a woman or two who'd chatted me up while out for drinks with my new teammates, but each time, I'd see a text come through from Lia and suddenly any attraction I had to them was shut down. I'd chalked it up to tiredness or me simply not being interested, but what if it was more than that?

What if I did have feelings for Lia?

Shit.

And when Nyberg laughed, I realized I'd said that last part out loud.

"It's not the end of the world, mate."

"I know, I know." I could feel my lips turn downward in a frown. "I'm just not really a relationship person. Not anymore."

He clapped me on the shoulder. "Oh, trust me, I know. But not all relationships end in a dumpster fire."

"And how would you know?"

"I wouldn't, but I can think of a handful of people that can personally attest to it. Guys on the team, my brother, and hell, aren't your parents still together?" They were. "My point is, one bad experience—"

"You mean fucking awful experience?" I muttered.

His mouth curved with amusement. "Sure. But still, one fucking awful experience doesn't mean another relationship can't work out. And the only way to figure out if it can work is to talk about it. Preferably with Lia and not me."

There was no denying that he was right, because there was something about Lia I couldn't shake. Something that had gotten under my skin. But what exactly it was? There was a list.

It could've been the shyness that bloomed into an intelligent, sexy woman. Her love of sports balanced out with an understanding of how hectic my schedule was. Her dedication to her research that mirrored—and exceeded—that of guys I'd seen give everything to be the best in the game. And our chemistry, man was it off the charts. Even after having not seen each other in weeks, I could still feel that heat and want building in my chest. Like a balloon waiting to pop.

And, as scary as it was to admit to myself, I needed to know if Lia felt the same. I needed to know if I had to trample these embers of feelings once and for all or go down the far riskier route of seeing where things with her could lead.

I wasn't completely naïve though. There were obvious variables in the way, but as thoughts of her overflooded my mind, I figured there must be a way we could make the equation work.

***

Twenty minutes later, I was walking into the Italian diner I'd found on Google Maps, a bell ringing above my head as I scanned the room for Lia.

It was a seat yourself type place with red checkered tablecloths on every table, black and white framed photos of iconic Italian landmarks on the walls, and a whole chalkboard wall to the right listing their entire menu in cursive. Classic with a few unique twists, and fairly popular if the number of guests was anything to go by.

And among them, Lia sat near the back left of the restaurant, smiling up at the waitress as I headed over.

"Hey," I greeted. I wanted to lean over to kiss her hello, but restrained myself.

Lia's eyes gleamed as they met mine, though the waitress cut in before she could talk, so she settled for a wave as I took a seat across from her.

"So, I'm guessing you're the man we're waiting for?" I nodded. "Could I get you something to drink?"

"I'll just take a water, thanks."

Leaving the two of us to peruse the menu, she promised to be back in a few minutes.

"Well, this place is cool," I said, trying to come off calm, cool, and collected despite the nerves eating up my mind. Eventually I'd have to steer this conversation into a more serious one, but in that moment, I was honestly happy just sitting across from her. "Have you ever been here before?"

"Twice. It only opened a year or two ago, but it's been pretty popular among the student crowd since it's fairly cheap," she replied before the fingers on her left hand began to fiddle with the edge of the tablecloth.

"Nervous about something?" I teased, nodding to her hand.

She smiled sheepishly, a blush coating her cheeks at having been caught. "Sorry. It's just, even though it's been less than three weeks, it's a bit weird seeing you again." She lifted a shoulder, biting her lip. "I missed you."

Those three words were exactly what I needed to hear.

My grin widened as I reached across the table to intertwine our fingers. "I missed you too."

Every part of her expression seemed to radiate joy at my response. Her eyes were brighter, her cheeks redder, her grin bigger, and when she squeezed my hand, she didn't let go.

"How are you finding Los Angeles?" she asked, lifting a brow. "I know we've talked since you moved, but how are you really finding living out in California compared to Boston?"

"Well, considering I've been traveling half that time, it hasn't sunk in yet, you know? I can tell you that the traffic's a lot worse out there, but otherwise, things have been good so far. The weather's been great, I can move into my condo next week, the guys on the Royals have all been pretty welcoming, and I don't know—" I shrugged, the corner of my mouth quirking upward. "—it kind of feels like going back home. Or at least it's starting to."

"That's great, Derrick."

"I do miss you though," I added. "And I know I already said it, but—"

"I get it," she replied softly.

As I smiled back, the lead in to where I wanted to take this conversation was interrupted by the return of our waitress, and I pulled my hand back from Lia's. Having not really looked over the menu at all, we both quickly scanned the wall before ordering the house lasagna with a side of fried calamari to share.

And it took a while for my courage to come clean about my feelings to build up again. There were moments—in between the bread, the appetizer, and our main meal—where I could've brought it up, and at times the words were on the tip of my tongue, but each time a small seed of doubt would pop into my mind and stop me.

Though once our empty plates were taken away, I knew I was running out of time. Lia was incredibly busy with her research and had likely taken an extended break just to eat with me. I didn't need to be inconveniencing her further, meaning the clock was ticking.

If this was a hockey game, it would be the last seconds of a tied game. I would have control of the puck, and with one last chance, I would've wound up and took my shot.

Which is exactly what I did.

"So," I started, picking nervously at the edges of the napkin that rested on my lap, "I talked to Nyberg this morning."

"How's he dealing living by himself? Or has he found another roommate?"

"He seems fine with it, honestly. I went over to pack up the rest of my stuff and he never mentioned looking for another roommate," I explained. "Though he might come the off-season, who knows. But that's not actually what I wanted to talk about." A tiny crease formed between her eyebrows as she waited for me to continue, and I thought it was incredibly sexy. Also, adorable. "I mentioned I was meeting up with you for lunch and he, uh, kind of said something that resonated with me, but I don't know if it will with you."

"Okay... what was it?"

"He thought that us—me and you—were basically in a relationship, we just weren't putting a label on things."

The way she froze for a moment told me I'd caught her off guard, but I stayed silent, not wanting to push or explain further until she spoke.

"That's, uh, that's, I mean, okay," she rambled, struggling to form a coherent thought.

"I didn't really agree with him at first," I mentioned. "I told him that we'd agreed this had been casual and we were fine with ending things, but the thing that I realized is... we didn't really end things. We stopped seeing each other, for obvious reasons, but the way we talk and catch each other up on our days? That hasn't changed."

She exhaled slowly, letting my words sink in. "No," she said softly. "It hasn't." Her gaze fell to the table as she continued. "And to be fair, Esme and Harper were wondering the same thing when they showed up at my place yesterday. Asking why the two of us were still talking if you'd shipped off to the other side of the country."

"What did you say?"

"I told them we were still friends," she said, chewing on her bottom lip, "just without the benefits."

"And that's what you want?" I asked, praying to hear the word no. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted her support. I wanted her.

Though I was all too aware that what I wanted didn't matter if she didn't want the same thing.

"I—I don't know, Derrick. I mean, that's what we agreed on, right?"

"It was."

"But now you're saying that's not what you want any more."

I shook my head. "This isn't about me. Don't think about my feelings right now," I said, the words falling from my lips as our gazes stayed locked on one another. "What do you want?"

"I—"

She stopped, holding her tongue while her eyes roamed around my features. Looking for the right answer despite the fact that all she had to do was be honest. But maybe that was the problem. Maybe she hadn't been honest with herself.

Letting out a slow breath, she closed her eyes, looked up at the ceiling, and started again. "I honestly didn't start things up with you expecting it to lead to a relationship," she admitted. "You're a great guy, our chemistry is off the charts, and we have fun together, but I never let myself imagine moving further than that. Not really. Mostly because I never saw anything more as an option."

I nodded, but didn't respond, wanting to hear everything she had to say. It didn't matter that each word stung; I masked my emotions.

"There's so much to think about right now because the most important thing to me over the next couple of months is my PhD. I need to stay focused to craft the perfect defense, get the students I'm teaching prepped for finals, and hopefully show the department at Harvard I'm worthy of the lecturing spot I applied for next term."

"And I totally get that."

I couldn't tell if she'd even registered the words that left my mouth—almost involuntarily—as they'd been so quiet. And by the speed in which her rambling continued, my best guess was she hadn't.

"But if I really think about it, I agree with Ryan." My brows shot up at her shy admission and a small amount of hope surged through me. "I like talking to you and catching up on how things are going in your life. I like that even though it was our chemistry that drew us together, our personalities also seem to mesh. I like being there for you and knowing that you're there for me. And I guess I've always thought relationships with a friendship at the foundation were the best kind, but because of how everything started, never let myself think about any feelings that were underneath the surface. But they are. There are feelings there."

It was everything I wanted to hear, yet I didn't realize that I was taking a moment to let it all sink in until Lia began fidgeting.

"Uh, I don't know if you have something to say now, or...?"

"Yeah, right, sorry." I ran a hand through my hair. "As you can probably tell I'm not good at this stuff, and if I'm being honest, the only other relationship I've ever been in ended in a colossal dumpster fire."

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking."

"No, it's fine," I said, knowing it was important to lay everything out on the table. "I got together with my ex, Chelsea, at the end of high school. About a year before I got drafted. And things were great, so we didn't even think about splitting up and stayed together through my early years in the league when I was playing in the minors. The traveling was a lot on her though, but I didn't know that. She was in college, seeing roommates and friends circle through relationships, and didn't fully trust me while I was out on the road.

"On my side though, I had blinders on. I thought I was in love with this great woman who supported my career, who wanted to build a life with me, and someone that ultimately checked off all the boxes for me. I only found out things weren't so great when I popped the question during the off-season when we were both twenty."

The surprise was evident on Lia's face. "You proposed?"

"I did," I confirmed. "And do you want to know what she said?" After a hesitant nod, a humorless laugh escaped me. "She said that I was living a fantasy out on the road and didn't have a grasp on our relationship at all. Apparently, she'd been seeing someone else for over six months because we'd gone that long without seeing each other—the longest over the course of our relationship—and she just wanted to wait to break up in person. She said she couldn't love someone that wasn't there for her both emotionally and physically."

"I'm sorry, but she was completely in the wrong," Lia said, immediately jumping at the chance to make me feel better. "Cheating is the worst thing to do to a person, and if she was having doubts, she should have come to you. Even over the phone."

"I know that now," I replied, "but it took a few years to work through the tainted feelings I had around relationships. Though the constant traveling has always been something that's held me back."

"Why now then?" she asked, her voice timid and curious. "What's changed to make you want a relationship with me of all people? Especially when we're living on opposite sides of the country."

I was all too aware we were still seated in the middle of a restaurant, but this was my one chance to prove my case to her that I was worth it. That this wasn't just the impulsive decision it seemed to be. So, standing up, I watched Lia's eyes widened as I walked around the table and crouched down in front of her. Cupping her chin, I leaned in for a kiss, a smile forming when she didn't pull back.

As our lips met for the first time in three weeks, a rush of desire flowed through me. One that'd been locked behind a gate for far too long and couldn't be extinguished. And from the way Lia gasped before sinking into the kiss, I wanted to believe she was feeling the same.

It was a kiss that I wished I'd kept away from prying eyes—wanting to run my hands all over her body and feel her shiver when I deepened things. But being in public had me holding back; keeping things soft and sweet but still full of passion until I pulled back.

"Because of that," I said, my breath fanning her lips. "Because you're smart, driven, caring, and insanely fucking attractive." She chuckled lightly, smiling as a blush began to tint her cheeks. "Because what's between us could be as electric as lightning if we explored it, and because in just a short amount of time, I feel like we've built up something strong. Something worth fighting for."

Biting her lip, she asked, "Even though you know how I feel about relationships coming before my work?"

"Of course. Hell, my career isn't exactly easy to deal with either," I countered. "I at least know that you're busy trying to change the world, which I could never fault you for. Meanwhile, I'm stuck working on the other side of the country."

"Technically, you work all over the country," she drawled. "Including here."

"On rare occasions, yes. But I need you to be honest with me about this, because you deserve better than a guy hopping around states—"

She leaned in to peck my lips, effectively shutting me up. "I can decide what I deserve."

"And?" I pulled back far enough to meet her eyes. "What's the consensus?"

Her lips curved upward. "That this—" Her hand found mine and squeezed. "—is something I want to explore. And everything else, we can figure out. Together."

a/n: super long chapter for you all! hope you enjoyed it, and remember to vote and leave your thoughts below :)