Chapter twenty eight- Dark Thoughts

Sinbad was leaning forward, supporting his head somewhat on his folded hands as he watched Alibaba scarf down food with an amused expression. They had talked for a little while, Sinbad speaking the most, while Alibaba ate, seeming rather distant. Archer had only been gone for about an hour, and Sinbad could feel the servant beginning to use a bit more mana than usual. Hopefully he's not being completely idiotic... Sinbad was growing annoyed with the servant's short temper. Poor Assassin's probably getting shish kebabed.

"So, Alibaba, have you thought about my offer?" The purple haired man tried to get through to the teen.

Alibaba paused, fork mid-air on track to his mouth, "Ah...yeah... I have."

"Have you come to a decision, then?" Sinbad pressed.

"Mhm." The blond nodded, stuffing his face with more food. Once he swallowed, he replied more properly, "I'll take you up on your offer. For now, we can be allies."

Sinbad smiled. "Good. Does Saber agree as well?"

Alibaba shrugged, "He's resting right now. We both used a bit too much mana."

"Speaking of which, how are you feeling? You're a novice with magic, that must have been a very difficult battle for you."

The teen pushed his empty plate aside, as well as the shame he felt from hearing Sinbad call him a 'novice'. "Well...I'm fine. Just...really, really tired."

"Would you like to come back to the church to rest? We could discuss further plans tomorrow if you'd like." Sinbad offered with another kind smile.

Alibaba nodded, too exhausted to disagree.

~

At the church, Alibaba was introduced properly to Ja'far and Assassin, as well as Sinbad's 'followers' who were a rather lively bunch of multi-talented people. They were all very kind, yet Alibaba couldn't focus on their words. He was shown to his room, which was part of newly-built wing of the building, the wood not exactly the same shade of brown as the rest. Alibaba was also given a new set of clothes to replace his bloodied ones. Grey sweats and a green tee-shirt were his new attire, a simple pair of sneakers to match.

Just as Alibaba split from the group to retreat to his quarters, Archer returned, materializing right in front of him. The teen was jolted out of his half-asleep state, jumping backwards as so not to bump into the servant. Instead, he bumped into Sinbad. At least he wasn't risking a sword through the face this way.

The older master turned and caught Alibaba, placing him back on his feet. He went to ask the teen if he was alright, but paused as he noticed Archer. "Welcome back, Gilgamesh. Anything interesting happen while you were out?"

"Not particularly." The golden-haired servant responded, eyes fixated on the shorter blond. "Why is he here?"

"We've formed an alliance," Sinbad informed. "So no harm shall come to him, alright?"

Assassin huffed from where she stood beside Ja'far a few feet away, "Yeah, right. That'll work great."

Sinbad looked back at the female servant, then back to Gilgamesh. "I'm serious. He's our friend, and you should treat him as such."

"I don't have friends," Gilgamesh spoke, crossing his arms. Then he walked away, seeming to have lost his interest in the blond master already.

Alibaba took several steps away from Sinbad and the group, turning around to say, "Well, I'm going to head to bed for the night..."

"Alright." Sinbad nodded, the same kind smile forming on his lips. "Goodnight, then, Alibaba-kun." A chorus of 'goodnight's followed his words as Alibaba waved and retreated into his quarters.

Once he was alone, Alibaba kicked his sneakers off and plopped onto the bed, groaning unnecessarily as he wriggled to get under the covers, face buried in the pillow. He laid there for a few minutes, not thinking of anything at all.

Slowly, his mind drifted to several different subjects, finally settling on torturing him with images of Cassim's cold, dead, body. Alibaba shifted his head, unable to breathe with the pillow in his face. He stared at the wall across the room for a few moments, his thoughts darkening again.

Why?

Why did Cassim have to die? He wasn't a part of this. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to fix Balbadd, together. After all that time apart, Alibaba was only able to spend a few weeks with him. A mere few weeks, when everything Alibaba had to say would've taken up months, years even.

Why did Judar have to target Cassim? There was no reason for him to. He had the perfect shot. He could have killed Alibaba and let Cassim flee. Why was he so interested in him? For fun?

Alibaba balled his hands into fists, tears welling up in his eyes, his thoughts taking over.

Did Judar really only see the Holy Grail War as a game? Surely he had his own wishes. Surely he had things precious to him. Right...? How could someone not? Judar must have a family, a friend, someone dear to him.

Thinking of Al-Thamen, Alibaba changed his mind. There's no way Judar has someone precious. How could someone be so cruel, so vile, and be able to face them? How could he cope with the guilt?

Alibaba couldn't begin to comprehend Judar's actions. At this point, he felt like he couldn't understand anyone. Why did Cassim have to insist on going with him? Why did Judar have to kill Cassim? Why did Sinbad save him from the maze? Why did his father have to leave him the family crest in the first place? Why did the Grail choose him? Why did Hakuryuu have to become his enemy? Why, why, why did Aladdin abandon him to go to the Mage's Association?

Why was Alibaba forced to deal with all of this alone?

Tears soaked the pillowcase, knuckles white from gripping the sheets so tightly. Eyes burned, teeth ached from being clenched to muffle cries. A hand was placed on the sobbing teen's shoulder.

Gasping, Alibaba opening his bloodshot eyes and sat up slightly. "S-Saber...?" Coming back to reality, he furiously rubbed his eyes, only making them burn more. "W-Why are you here? Shouldn't you be resting?"

The blond servant was sitting on the edge of the bed, arm still on the teen's shoulder. He smiled softly, just for a moment, before frowning and nagging the teen, "Shouldn't you be resting yourself? After everything you did today, you're still fighting?"

"W-What?"

"You've fought a lot today, Alibaba." Saber continued in a more gentle tone. "And lot harder than you ever had before. There's no need for you to fight yourself, as well. You've done enough."

Alibaba sat up properly. "What are you saying, Saber? I-I'm not..." He trailed off, looking away again as more tears slipped from his eyes.

Saber sighed, and turned so he was facing the opposite wall. "In life, I felt a lot like you do now. I wandered aimlessly, traveling the whole world," He paused to chuckle, "-at least what I thought was the whole world- confused and angry. I felt alone. I was...different than everyone else. Special. I had expectation after expectation placed on me, and I wasn't sure how to live up to them."

"Did you live up to them eventually?" Alibaba asked curiously. His crying had stopped, although his face still burned, his nose stuffed.

"I did. Surpassed them, even." Saber glanced over at his master, "I don't want to belittle your situation by bragging of my accomplishments, though."

"No, no. I'd like to hear it." Alibaba shook his head. His mood even began to lighten; he always loved hearing tales of great adventures who traveled the world, defeating monsters. He aspired to be like them, although in modern society it wasn't much of a thing. "Go ahead."

Saber raised an eyebrow, "Really? You know...I didn't think my babbling would actually cheer you up. We're very different..."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm really interested in your story." Alibaba smiled brightly, hoping it'd somehow convince the servant.

Saber laughed, "You're like a child..." He shook his head and agreed, "Alright...I'll tell you."

~