Gio

"I'm glad you convinced me to come out tonight," I hum low in Ren's ear. Gripping her hips, I pull her firmly to me and grind into her, letting her know just how aroused she makes me, and I hear a breathy "Uhh" escape her throat.

"Low" by Flo Rida fades in, and the lights change from blue and green to purple and red. The music is loud, and there are people everywhere, but all I can sense now is me and her. My body instinctively reacts to her subtle movements—I can't get enough, and I just want her closer.

Abruptly, she spins around to face me and puts her hands on my shoulders. She looks up at me, her ocean eyes so open and vulnerable, and my heart leaps into my throat. Dropping my gaze, I swallow the feeling back down and focus on our bodies. Threading my thigh between her legs, my hands that were around her waist now travel down the back of her dress to caress her ass, and then I pull her closer till her inner thigh rubs against me through my jeans. 

Fuck Ren. I'm aching. Having sex with you tonight is all I'm thinking about. Don't stop.

As if she heard me, she suddenly speaks. "Hey, Gio...? I don't want to stop... this, with you... but my coworkers just showed up. I should probably... say hi to them somewhat soon. Do you want to come with me or..."

"Really?" I glance in their direction and clear my throat. "Well, let's finish this song, and then I'll go back with you."

Fuck. Damn it! I kinda forgot she was here with other people. 

Releasing my grip, I move my hands more lightly to her waist, our thighs separating. A slight pout crosses her face, but I need a minute to calm myself down before I walk over to a large group of her girlfriends—some of whom have followed my on-and-off relationship with Ren since I was thirteen. 

"Are these the co-workers who gave me a nickname?" 

"Um, yeah."

The corner of my lip turns up. "You never did get a chance to tell me what it was..."

"Oh, yeah, that sort of... slipped my mind," she admits, biting back a smile. "They'll probably kill me if I tell you right now."

"Can I get it out of you later?" I ask, my eyes darkening.

A pinker hue colors her cheeks, "Maybe..."

I lean close to her ear, my voice husky, "What are you doing after the club tonight?"

"Um..." She swallows. "Sydney is staying at my apartment tonight."

"Oh," my voice laced with disappointment. 

"Another time?" she asks, laying her hands on my chest and looking increasingly deeper into my eyes. She's not stupid. She knows damn well if she can get in there, she can get me to comply. As I look away, her delicious voice comes to my ears like honey, "Take me out again, Gio."

Oh shit. I feel her tightening the hold she has on me with every passing second. My heart is pulsing in my neck, and part of me wants to run. Why is saying yes to this so hard for me?

Fuck it, dude—you know you want to. 

I turn my face to her again and nod. "Okay." Her eyes flicker with excitement at that. 

As the song ends, she steps back from me, and the hot spark fades out as quickly as a flying ember from a campfire. I want to take her hand, but she's already two steps ahead of me. I follow behind her like a dog on a leash, but as I approach, I notice not one person at the table is looking at the birthday girl—everyone has their attention zeroed in on me.

My eyes pop from one face to the next. Sydney looks worried for some reason. Kristin and Hannah are smiling, amused. Two girls I recognize, a blonde and a brunette, look a bit star-struck. And Bry—

WHAT THE FUCK!

What the hell is Bryce doing here tonight? Oh, right, he works with her. Shit!  After everything that happened last night, I forgot all about that unfortunate detail. When Ren said some of her co-workers showed up, I definitely didn't think he'd be here! Slight panic trickles like a metallic river up my spine. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He better not have told her anything about me.

Bryce, as always, is all dressed up and looking sharp, and he doesn't appear too pleased to be sizing up his apparent competition. Deftly like a martini-holding ninja, Sydney swoops in and starts asking me questions about my car just as Ren's female co-workers come forward to give her hugs, creating a wall between me and Bryce.  Sydney is trying her best to keep me in conversation, but I happen to have good fucking peripheral vision, and my attention is fully honed in on Ren.

The dark-haired girl says something in Ren's ear, looking squarely at me. Ren says something back, but I can't hear it over the noise. I strain my ears to listen to their conversation.

"I'm so sorry, Ren. Gemma invited him," the dark-haired girl explains.

Ren's body slumps in a sigh, then turns to Bryce. 

"Happy Birthday," he says, giving her a way longer-than-necessary hug. 

My muscles tense, starting in my jaw and running all the way down my arms to my hands. It's all I can do not to go over there and put my arm protectively around her. Hannah and Kristin are watching Bryce and Ren with saucer eyes that keep darting to the floor for some reason. Bryce suddenly makes direct eye contact with me, squints, and then looks back to Ren with a charming smile. I can feel my blood pressure mount.

Ren glances toward me quickly, just as Sydney hauls over the dark-haired girl. "Gio, I want to introduce you to Olivia."

The self-control it takes for me to tear my eyes away from Bryce's interaction with Ren and be polite should win me a fucking medal. I force an upward tilt on the corners of my mouth. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

"You too." Olivia returns the uncomfortable smile, glancing at Bryce. I take the opportunity to do the same. Sydney becomes desperate for more conversation.

"Olivia, you work with Ren, right? Gio is Ren's, um—" Sydney falters.

"High school ex-boyfriend?" she finishes for Sydney. "I gathered. She told us a bit about you yesterday after you dropped off those chocolates."

I'm about to follow up on that when I hear a gasp from Hannah and Kristin. Every head swivels to Bryce as he pulls a big bouquet of pink roses out of a paper bag sitting on the floor by Kristin's feet.

"I hope it's not too much, but I brought you these for your birthday."

Bryce presents them to Ren, who looks like she's stopped breathing. 

I wince as if he punched me in the gut, then try to stab him to death with a million swords from my eyes. Mother fu—Ugh! Of course, he bought her flowers. I shoulda fucking done that. 

"Bryce!" Ren exclaims, looking like she could die of embarrassment. "You shouldn't have." Ren hates to be the center of attention like this.

"It's no big deal," Bryce says, trying to play it cool, though his face is flushed. He flashes her another perfect smile, wishing her a happy birthday, but then he leans in and whispers something else in her ear, putting his hands on her waist and drawing her in. My heart rate goes through the roof!

Sydney's hand on my arm pulls my attention. "Gio!" She grabs my eyes intensely with hers. "Don't—do anything stupid. We'll be right back." Then she whips over to Ren. "Rennie, we need to talk to you!" she says, pulling at her shoulder. "Excuse us," she yells to Bryce.

She and Olivia pull Ren through the crowd around the corner toward the bathrooms. Kristin and Hannah zip off to the bar next, leaving Bryce and me suddenly alone. Fuck. I take a deep breath to recenter myself. Calm thoughts.

"Regali," Bryce says, looking me up and down.

My eyes narrow, "Anderson," I say neutrally.

"You look... better than the last time I saw you." He cocks his head. "You know Lauren?"

"You could say that," I deadpan.

Bryce makes a prolonged blink like he can't even comprehend that we'd ever be a thing. "You're not telling me you're dating her too?"

Shit.

The fucking fact is, I don't know what's going on with Ren and me right now.

"Something like that."

Then he bites back a laugh. "No offense, dude, but I don't think you'll get past date two with her."

Whatever level of chill I just had is now quickly slipping away. "What's that supposed to mean? The fuck you know about her?"

"Well, for starters, I work with her every day, and what I've learned is Lauren's a hard one to catch. She's got very high standards, and she's not after just any good-looking guy," he says, looking right at me.

Whatever—look who's talking. You're like a walking Abercrombie ad.

"What I'm saying is she's not looking for a one-night stand. She's looking for someone who's... dependable. Successful," he continues, straightening his spine. "A guy who could provide for her and a family in a few years. One who can afford a gardener, not who is one."

The way he smiles at me after saying that, suddenly I wanna tackle him to the ground and wipe that smug smile off his fucking successful face. My jaw flexes as I restrain my tempting fantasy to my brain. "You don't know jack about what she wants."

"Look, man, I'm just saving you the trouble," he says, clasping me on the shoulder like I'm his fucking best buddy at the tennis club. "Here, I'll buy you a drink."

"I don't drink," I snarl.

His eyebrows shoot up. "You don't drink? HA! Good one. I remember watching them drag you out of this very club, drunk and high off your ass several times. Last time I saw you, I had to—"

"I've changed."

"Yeah right, Regali. Come on, help me out. Leave this one alone. I helped you out, remember? Got my parents to rent to you? Then you fucked me. Listen, you might clean yourself up for a little while, but Lauren's going to find out about you and what you're really like sooner or later. You should stay away from a good girl like her. She doesn't deserve to get hurt."

Oof, that blow hit me right where it hurts the most. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Suddenly, the room spins three-sixty.

What the hell am I doing here? What the fuck was I thinking. Bryce is right. I should be staying far away from her. For her sake and mine. If Ren and I got back together—what if I—what if she—Fuck. Every single time I get into a relationship, it starts out good but then inevitably ends in a careening car crash; everyone gets hurt, and it's always fucking my fault. Everything had been stable in my life for four years before she showed back up. I'd die if I let Ren hurt me again. I'd never forgive myself if I hurt her.

The truth is, my fate is to be alone.

Bryce is the kind of guy she should be with—a stable guy who can provide for her. Give her a normal life.

Normal. That kinda guy has never been me.

"You're right," I finally mumble.

Bryce leans in. "What was that?"

I look him dead in the eyes. "I said you're right." Then I drop them again. "Tell her I had to go."

Turning around, I take two steps, then turn back around. "Take fucking good care of her, Anderson. If I hear of anything different...  Well, let's just say I wouldn't want to have to ruin that money-making smile of yours."

And with that, I slip through the crowd and down the stairs outside to my car.

When I get home, I go straight to my room and slam the door. It's way past my bedtime, but I don't feel tired. Dr. Thompson would tell me to journal for ten minutes and then try to rest anyway. Sighing, I dig out my journal, but as I ready my pen on the page, I have so much swirling in my brain that I can't hold on to a single thought long enough to write it.

BZZZZ

I already know who it is as I pick up my phone.

Ren-Don't Text Her: Where are you?

Me: Home

Ren-Don't Text Her: Why? I wanted to dance more with you

Dancing is the last thing I want to be doing right now. She can go dance with fucking smilie-pie Anderson.

Me: I'm not into competition Ren

Ren- Don't Text Her: There is no competition

Ren—Don't Text Her: I only want you

Fuck. Why does she have to say things like that? I can't fucking take it. I'm not that strong. I have to shut whatever is starting up between her and me down right now and this time for good.

Me: No, you don't

Me: You don't know me anymore

She calls me right away, and I just stare at her name on the screen for a few moments, letting the call go to voicemail.

"AAAAHHHH!" The booming sound suddenly fires out from my voicebox, hurling the device like it's the vessel of all things wrong in my world against the wall. It bounces off and clatters to the floor—unscathed.

Smiling, I pick up my phone off the floor and sit down back down on my bed, turning the unbreakable black Nokia beast over in my hand. See. If I had a fucking fragile iPhone like everyone else and their cat, I'd need to go buy a new phone right now! My shitty old phone's a fucking winner!

"Gio. You okay in there?" Adam's voice calls from the hallway.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

But then I heave a heavy sigh as my head bows, my smile quickly draining from my face. My phone might not be shattered right now, but I'm not so lucky. Placing the phone on my nightstand,  I pick my journal back up and start to write:

Giovanni Regali. 

Always a fucking Loser.

With a capital L.

Fuck my life.

♥︎♥︎♥︎