Layla

Rahilatu: I think I hate school.

Lulwa: Now I'm very sure of the reason why I love you. We share the same interest, my love. 

Rahilatu: I think these professors are trying to pay back the oppression they served in their days.

Lulwa: If I had known, I'd have just asked to get married instead of coming to school. Ugh.

Rahina: Layla and I can't say the same though.

Right, Layla?

Layla: As physically discomforting as studying is, I find this exceptionally interesting and fun too.

Lulwa: Oh, no. It's that time of the week. Professor Fahad. I love him.

The iMessage group chat was busy even though all of us were in class. Rahina and I were having a class on civil wrong with Mr. Fahad and since Lulwa had the biggest crush on him, she always knew his schedules with us.

Lulwa: I knew it wouldn't be of any good when I was the only person who chose to study this hell. None of you can save me from here. Really?

Layla: What's y'all's schedule for the day? Lemme take you all out on a date.

Rahilatu: I will always dodge a class for a pretty girl like you to take me out.

Lulwa: I have got a class by three after this. This ends at noon.

Rahina: I'm free too.

Rahilatu: Before you say anything about my jumping, this class is all I've today. Ends at noon too.

Layla: Well, then, guess I'm dating all of you three today. See ya. Smooches.

"What do you think about the jurisprudence on this civil wrong, Ms. Layla?" Mr. Fahad asked immediately I tapped send.

I was not paying attention. "Oh, no," I muttered. Rahina who was sitting beside me chuckled while suppressing a laugh. I could see her from my side view. The thing was I was definitely not paying attention.

Also, I was never sitting in the front seat again, suddenly, the middle seats screamed invitation.

"What?" Rahilatu shouted causing everyone at the cafe to look at us.

We sat in a corner, away from the population of the cafe. Our friendship had a weird taste, a cafe visit would always be a classy date.

It's now been three weeks since the sudden proposal with a loud and heartbreaking method that exploded under not-so-good conditions. It was still fusing and exploding in the ticker behind the rib cages in the right part of the chest.

At first, I didn't know what to feel. I was numb and not taking it as a whole. I took it in and realized what it was after. Now, I was used to the feeling. I was not sad for sure, but I wasn't sure I was happy too.

"Why am I the only person reacting to this?" She asked looking at Rahina and Lulwa who were expressionless. "Don't tell me I'm the last to know. No... not possible. Rahina, you didn't know too. You... didn't. Wait did you guys even hear what she just said?" She was freaking out by the time she finished talking with wide eyes.

I just told them about the proposal after all this while.

"I kinda figured something is bothering her for a while now," Rahina said and then faced me. "But this is big, I didn't think it was this big. What... what... no, how did it happen?"

"Lulwa, did you know?" I couldn't help but ask. For Lulwa, that was a lot of underestimated reaction after dropping a bomb. She wasn't even reacting at all. She was staring down at her iced coffee while stirring it with the metallic straw.

She nodded and then looked up at me, her eyes traveled between Rahilatu and Rahina who were sitting on either side of her. "I did."

"Of course, she would know. She lives with your sister." Rahilatu said with her voice wavering.

"Don't cry," I said wide-eyed. Rahilatu cries every time. "As I told you, he just sent a proposal. And I had no reason to reject it. And already, Ya Malik and Ummi were on the train."

Rahina nodded. "Are you sure though?"

I locked my lips together and did what I've tried avoiding since, thinking about it. "I've no reason to say no. I figured it's a good chance, maybe? Like... it's like there are good sides but I can't put a finger on a single bad side."

"But why are we just knowing this, Layla? We're... best friends." Tears were running down Rahilatu's face.

Crybaby.

"I needed some time to get my thoughts together. It hit me when I wasn't expecting." I put my hands on Rahilatu's. "Now stop being a crybaby." I wasn't sure if it was her internal secretion, but Rahilatu cried a lot. At some point, we teased her saying she took over Rahina's tear glands domain when they were in the womb because she's the opposite of her.

"So now, you're really getting married to that guy? The guy," Rahina asked wiggling her eyebrows.

"I guess." I nodded. My eyes turned to Lulwa who was now smiling. "How did you find out? No.  Why didn't you tell me you knew all this while? You've definitely known for long." I narrowed my eyes.

"Well, for starters, I've known for almost two weeks now. I kinda walked on Adda Malika and Ya Abdullah talking about it and Adda Malika didn't hesitate to keep on going and when she realized that I had no idea about it, it was already too late. And I didn't tell you because I figured you didn't want to talk about it and that you'll tell us when you want to. Honestly, I felt bad every single time I had to look into your eyes and pretend when I could detect sadness." She finished with a sad smile and tight lip.

"Are you happy?" Rahilatu asked and that was the first time I was asked that question since the proposal. That's what everyone wanted and that's why they're supporting this marriage. My family members' quest for me to be happy and mine, was their happiness. I agreed to this to make them happy but was I?

Was there any use of this if I wasn't happy? Would they be happy to know that I wasn't?

Why didn't I think of this?

Rahina touched my hand from the other side. "Hey."

I woke from the instance of deliberate thinking I dripped into.

They're all looking at me with expectation painted all over their faces.

I hadn't thought of if I was happy, but I did think I was sad. "I'm not sad. At all." I said as the corners of my lips turned up.

"Good enough." Rahina squeezed my hand with a smile. "Good enough. You've held up well."

I did. I nodded because I did.

"Ah," Rahilatu said in Korean.

"Not again." Lulwa and I shouted in a horrific and outrageous voice. Not with the weird obsession again.

"What happened? What did she bribe you with?" Lulwa asked Rahina.

Rahilatu had this strong and weird obsession with everything Korean. She watched their drama every possible second and a few months ago, she came up with this strikingly odd habit of throwing Korean words into every conversation. Whether through messages or in person.

We were lucky when she decided she was going to drive a car last year without a driver's license. She got pulled over because she was without care and forethought, so Rahina was called instead of Baba, their dad. Rahilatu made a deal with Rahina that if she didn't tell on her, she would never do what annoyed us the most.

But now...

"She promised me something big." Rahina shrugged her shoulders.

"Do you know how oppressed I was when all I wanted was to say things like this?" Rahilatu looked at us with intimidating eyes. "Now, I'm back and better. I've practiced so far that I'm sure y'all will die soon of irritation. Love ya, babies. In advance." She blew a very enthusiastic kiss.

"I like you better when you're crying," I said. "We're now back to square one."

"Enough with me, you're the center today. You're now going to tell us every detail. Every single thing that transpired from that day till today. Everything. All of the things that happened. Including your meeting with him yesterday." Rahilatu positioned her two elbows on the table, crossed. "Start."

Oh, no.

Just then, a message beeped on my phone. It's an unknown number.

"What is it?" Rahina asked.

"I'm not sure. Let me see." I picked up the phone and went through the message.

As'Salaamu'Alaikum, I hope you're well. It's Asad.

"Oh, it's the man of the moment." Screamed Rahilatu who was peeking.

No matter what, we always end our days together with a smile.

I might have forgotten that for a while.

"Why am I the only person with these many classes?" Lulwa huffed in frustration.

It's been already a week since my intimate date with the girls.

Rahilatu, Rahina, and I'd classes ended by noon today, every Wednesday and Friday. Lulwa had another class in the evening hence why she's whining.

"You three not having evening classes on Wednesday always discourages me and makes me rethink why I'm studying."

"You might get a change of timetable next semester," I said with a smile. It's so satisfying watching her whine like that.

After our classes ended at noon, Rahina and Rahilatu took off. Adda Malika called and asked Lulwa and me to pick up a package for her. I was the one with a car while Lulwa was the one that's familiar with the place.

We had dropped it off at Adda Malika's place and now I was taking Lulwa back to school before heading home.

"Maybe." She pouted. "Do you think I should drop out?" She turned her body in the passenger's seat under the seat belt.

"Sure, if you plan to look at Ya Abdallah and Adda Malika being all over each other every second of your life."

"No, I'll just think of another solution." She said with a puke face. "I especially hate tests."

I burst into laughter while looking at Lulwa. It's always fun to watch someone suffering from a distance before yours came.

I looked up into the expanse, everything happened very fast. A power bike flew by an inch away from me and crashed into the car in front.

I didn't know how but I stepped on the brake in a reflex with my eyes closed. I shrieked.

The crash sound was so scary. Metal bending, windshield cracking, and I was sure my heart stopped beating for a bit. The sound was so sharp and piercing penetrating through my ears.

I was taking in air at great volume but I couldn't expel it. I opened my eyes slowly to see why I wasn't hurting. I was fine.

My eyes were swelled with water, my vision was blurred and my breathing wasn't stable.

"Are you okay?"

Lulwa.

"Breath out. Slowly." She placed her hand on my shoulder. "Slowly. You're okay. Everything's fine. Breathe out."

I sat trembling in the car, my hands clutching the steering wheel tightly.

I tried following her directions. My head was heavy, my eyes were burning with tears and my heart was beating at a rapid tempo. When my breathing started the evening, I looked over to Lulwa who looked shaken with wide eyes, her other hand placed on the dashboard.

"Inna Lil Lahi wa Inna Ilaihir Raji'un. Are you okay?" I asked and reached out to hug her.

"I'm okay. Alhamdulillah. Do you feel okay?" She asked with concern in her eyes.

"Yes, I'm just a little shaken." I placed my hand on my fast-beating heart. "This is why I hate driving."

"We're okay, but they're not." Lulwa pointed at the scene in front of us.

The two-wheeled vehicle had crashed its strong frame into a car in front of us. Drivers came out of their cars and were gathered around the two vehicles on the road. From the view, it didn't look as undesirable as I'd expected it to.

The man on the bike was sitting down with one leg bent in, beside his bike while the owner of the car was holding his bumper in his hand. The device consisted of bars.

"That road is clear, let's get out of here." Lulwa pointed at the left part of the road that was clear.

"Are you sure you're okay to write the test?" I asked her when we entered the gate of the school.

"You look more shaken than I. Are you sure you can go to the insurance company by yourself? Now too?"

"Ya Malik will kill me if he finds out that I broke this rear mirror. He loves this car a lot." I chuckled.

"He'll also kill you if he finds out that you drove while you're not okay, he loves you a lot. Just call the driver to come pick you up from here, please."

"Hey, I'm fine, okay? Couldn't you tell from how I drove from the accident scene to here? Calm down, I'll just get the insurance coverage and drive home."

My brother had entrusted me with the car, and I didn't want to get into any trouble. Determined to avoid another incident, I decided to go to the insurance company to renew my expired insurance.

The bike man separated my side mirror from its put-up and was hanging by a ligament made of metal that was used to fasten it. Ya Malik gave me this car when it's new because I persuaded him even though he loved it a lot. He got an insurance policy for it, but it expired last year.

I entered the insurance company that issued an insurance policy nervously, my heart still racing. I was told I'd get the car repaired at the company and get it driven to my address today and was given an application to fill out for the car insurance quotes in case an accident took place again.

Accident.

I hated that word. My hand started shaking and I couldn't write with the pen anymore, I was only halfway through. I closed my eyes and placed my head on the counter.

"Ma'am, would you like to sit down?" I opened my eyes and looked at the receptionist. My head started pounding and my eyes started giving me an indistinct representation.

I nodded ferociously.

"Let me escort you, please."

I followed behind but stopped when a familiar, foreign voice called me.

"Layla."