For as long as I can remember, Micah and I had always been pushed together. Whether it was by our parents, who happened to be best friends, or other pack mates, there was always pressure for the two of us to end up together.

But he was always too young for me to even imagine being with. Micah had taken their words in stride, though, always staying by my side or asking to come along with me on my treks through the forest. The attraction had always been mutual, but I couldn't let him know. Couldn't lead him on when he was still so young and I was already in my twenties.

Then the mating ceremony happened, and it was Micah's first time. The anticipation had been high, and I remember our mother's holding hands as the omegas and betas, then the alphas were sent out.

Catching his scent in the wind had not been surprising to me at all. Deep down, I always knew Micah would be my mate, but I had tried to push the feelings away.

The wolf spirit in me wouldn't allow the drive of a mate to be ignored any longer, though, so I had set out in the direction of Micah.

I had found him, huddled under a low covering of trees, his heat overpowering him. His whimpers had tugged on something inside me, and all I had wanted to do was help him through the uncomfortableness of his heat.

Knotting him was out of the question, though. He was still too young and pregnancy was a real risk. So throughout the night, I had held him while he went through his heat. Rubbing his back and allowing him to bury his head in my neck for my scent was how we both spent the night, waiting for the sun to rise and his heat to be over.

Morning had come and with it the final step of the mating process. We had walked back together, Micah with slumped shoulders and watching his feet, emanating his sadness, and me trying not to sneak glances at him

"Did I do something to make you hate me," I remember him asking, his voice wavering slightly.

"No, Micah," I had told him, holding back the urge to wrap him in my arms and protect him from whatever was hurting him. But I couldn't do that. I was the one hurting him. "You're just too young and we are both so different. You deserve someone who isn't me."

His mouth had fallen open, and I could tell that he wanted to say something. Shaking my head, he had closed his mouth, but it was impossible to miss how hard he was thinking about something.

Our families had been so excited when they saw us walking out of the forest together, running towards us and enveloping us in their arms. The excitement and happiness hadn't lasted long. Their smiles had slipped from their faces when they saw how far apart we were standing, something that is nearly impossible to do so soon after the mating ceremony.

I had told them that we weren't going to go through with the last step of the ceremony, and when I looked over at Micah, he had given a small nod.

Everyone had started talking all at once, Micah being coddled by his brother and sisters, his parents watching him with pursed lips, and me getting a slap on the back of my head from nearly everyone. They all knew that it must have been me who didn't want to finish the ritual since Micah's infatuation was obvious for everyone to see.

And that's what it was: infatuation. The way he had trailed after me whenever I would hang out with his older brother, Levi, and the heart eyes he always directed towards me, all came about because of our family constantly pushing us together. Their need for our families to be connected by a mating had rubbed off on Micah.

He wanted me because the others wanted him to want me. What he was feeling was not the same as me.

Love. Real and never ending love.

Ever since the mating ceremony, Micah only seemed to try harder to be with me, and that had just resulted in me pushing him away even further. Our families had encouraged him and berated me, never questioning why I had said no in the first place.

The only one who seemed to truly care about me was Alexis. She had asked me the reasoning for rejecting Micah, and her words had made me feel like I was going to be sick.

"Reject him? No, I didn't reject him," I had said, sending her a hard glare.

She had just given me 'are you really being serious right now' looks, one of the ones I was most familiar with.

"Really?" she had said, her voice full of doubt. "Then tell me what did happen."

It had taken me a few minutes to organize my thoughts and find the right words to say. After a solid five minutes of silence, I finally told her what she wanted to hear.

"He's too young, Lexi," I had told her, my voice barely audible. "And what he feels isn't love, it never has been."

"What are you talking about?" Her eyebrows had raised in disbelief. "That boy follows you around everywhere you go."

"Yeah, because he has always been pushed to be with me by our families. He is just infatuated, and I don't want to trap him in a mating that he won't want when he gets older."

"Jesus, Jesse," she said, her arms coming up to cross over her chest. "Do you really think so low of yourself?"

Shaking my head, I had walked away from her. "Just drop it. You don't understand."

"Well then tell me so I can!" she had yelled after me, but I didn't answer.

After that, I refused to talk about Micah anymore, not even when Alexis pestered me to no end, trying to force me to talk. But I kept quiet and continued to try and push my feelings for Micah down.

Then the shit storm of the apocalypse happened, with the infected humans and werewolves alike attacking people. Our pack had stayed strong for months, keeping all intruders out.

But then the Warriors had come and Micah was taken.

Our entire pack was broken after the attack. Everyone had scattered, taking only the bare necessities with them as they left our pack lands forever. My family was gone too, Micah's as well. Most of them died in the attack, others fleeing at the quickest opportunity.

The only one who had stayed with me had been my sister. Together, we had decided to go after the Warriors to get Micah and Allie back. I couldn't imagine Micah faring well in the hands of the crazed alphas, and I would do anything I could to get him back.

Because I loved him, still do to this very day.

It took months of tracking, but we caught up with them. We couldn't attack them, though, there were too many of them and only me and Alexis. We had watched them for days, knowing where Micah and Allie were kept and how many times they got visitors.

It was somewhat of a miracle when the twins and Tatum had shown up, desperate to get their pack members back. With them, we had crafted the perfect plan, and soon enough, we were able to take out the Warriors.

Micah was safe, and that was all that mattered, all that has ever mattered.

Now, he isn't safe anymore. The wolf spirit inside me, which we are only supposed to have the faintest of connection to, is becoming stronger. It pushes me to be close to Micah, to claim him whether my small mate wants it or not.

It is terrifying and only becoming stronger.

I had given in one night, a little over three months ago. His scent had been drawing me in, and I just wanted one night with him. To be as close to him as possible for just a little while. And it had been the most amazing night. Just thinking about it now causes heat to spread over my body and my cock to stir in interest.

Shaking my head, I snap back into the present, not wanting to think about the past anymore. The future is already scary enough.

My eyes scan over the forest, taking in the early spring scenery that surrounds me. New green leaves are budding on the trees, and every once in a while, the bright pink blooms of cherry trees come into view.

The birds are loud as they call out to one another, and the sound is soothing. Familiar, since roaming through the forest has been my favorite past time ever since I was old enough to go out on my own.

"What are you thinking so hard about over there?" my sister's voice calls out from behind me. Ah yes, how I miss going out in the forest alone. No one to pester me and force me to talk. We aren't allowed to do that anymore, though, per the alpha's orders. Too dangerous with the infected, claistes, and humans, who like to pass through the forest.

"Nothing that you need to know about," I say, and I hear a snort from behind me.

"Tell me anyway," she says, this time from only a few feet behind me. Turning, I watch as she quickens her pace so that she can walk beside me, her bright blue eyes that are identical to my own accessing my face. "You're probably brooding in that brain of yours, and you should tell me so I can force some sense into you. Just as I always do."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I mumble, eyes drifting away from her.

She hums, reaching her hand over and flicking my ear. "Don't try that shit with me, Jesse." She lets her hand fall away from me, her voice softening. "Let me help you."

Letting out a long sigh, I look over at her again. Her face is open and understanding, something that she only allows herself to be when around me. To everyone else, she has her hard, impenetrable exterior, the same as my own. Another thing we have in common.

When I don't answer right away, she asks softly, "You're thinking about Micah again, aren't you?"

Not bothering to use my words, I nod my head.

"Okay," she says, silent for only a moment before talking again. "What about him?"

Knowing that my sister isn't going to stop talking until I answer her question, I reluctantly decide to tell her what is on my mind.

"The pull is getting stronger." I pause. "My wolf spirit is getting stronger and I have no idea why."

Alexis doesn't say anything, knowing that if she interrupts me now, then I will stop talking completely.

"It keeps pushing me towards Micah, especially after..."

Alexis looks over at me, raising a questioning brow. "After what?"

"After we slept together."

"Ah."

"But it is becoming so strong that I fear I may hurt him if I get too close. Whenever I am even in the same room as him, it flares up, and it is all I can do to hold myself back from taking him right where he stands."

My sister clears her throat but doesn't say anything further about my wanting to have sex with Micah.

"I don't want to hurt him," I say, soft enough that I am not sure if Alexis even catches my words.

Apparently she does, because she nods her head in understanding. "Maybe you should talk to Alpha Seren about this. He may have an idea about what is going on."

Not wanting to tell her that sharing what is going on with me to Alpha Seren is not something I want to do, I stay silent.

But the fear that has been on the back of my mind creeps up again. The fear that maybe I was infected by the claistes when I killed them on the night they came onto our pack lands. Maybe the infection is spreading and slowly taking over, which is making my wolf become stronger. The urge to be near Micah may be just the push of the infection for me to attack my mate.

"Do you think I could be infected?" I question, unable to stop the words from leaving my mouth.

Alexis stops in her tracks, looking over at me in fear and a bit of anger. "Why would you say something like that?"

"It isn't an impossibility. We don't really know anything about the claistes, other than Zalo was infected by one before he slowly went mad. What if that is happening to me, Lexi?"

Suddenly, my sister's arms are around me, shocking me completely. It takes me a minute to respond, not used to the physical affection. My arms wrap around her, settling on her back.

"That isn't what is happening. You are not turning into one of those things," she mumbles into my shirt, not bothering to look up at me as she talks. "I was attacked by them and wasn't turned."

The reminder of that instance causes pain to blossom in my chest. Her scar is an ever present reminder of the attack, but having her actually talk about it is different.

"But Zalo was, and he did turn into one of those creatures. How are we supposed to know if it will affect me or not?"

She pulls away from me, her eyes more determined than before. "Alpha Seren said that you have to die with the infection in your blood in order for you to turn into a claiste."

"He doesn't know that for sure, though. It was just an assumption."

"You won't turn into one of those creatures, Jesse," she says, voice hard.

"But how do you know?" I ask, hands waving around slightly in frustration, before dropping down by my side again. "You can't possibly know that."

"I do," she says, holding her chin up in stubbornness, daring me to contradict her. "And if I didn't turn, then neither will you."

Not wanting to fight with my sister who is even more stubborn than me, I just shake my head before starting to walk again. Branches crunch behind me, telling me that Alexis is following me.

"Besides," she says, voice lighter than before. "If you did turn, I'm pretty sure that Micah would drag your ass back into humanity before I would even get a chance to."

Rolling my eyes, I let out a long sigh. It's useless to disagree with her, and now she is set in her ways about what is going on with me and Micah's feelings.

This walk was supposed to be relaxing. I should have known better when Alexis said that she wanted to tag along. Little sisters never allow for their older brothers to relax, especially when they feel they are right about something.

*****

A/N: Picture at the top is of Jesse