The day is only half way over and I am already exhausted. Jesse left early this morning to help some of the others in setting up a few things outside. Apparently, the newcomers had brought a lot of things with them from the human compound. Jeff and Sandra- a very kind and quiet mated couple- had brought with them a large collection of ancient books the humans had stolen from their pack when they had attacked.

Jeff used to be his pack's historian, the one in charge of keeping record of important events and the one the alpha turned to when in need of advice. His mate, Sandra, loves to garden, and it is because of that, that the alpha decided to set her up a greenhouse to make her feel more welcome. Jesse and the twins had started on that immediately after they had finished building a chicken coop for the chickens the werewolves had filched from the humans.

Avery and Nik have been helping a lot with the new children who arrived with their parents. Bradley- who had been stuck in his wolf form for almost an entire year- has needed a lot of help with his two children, who are nine and five. Avery has been helping him to set down a schedule for the kids, as well as taking them during the day for schooling.

The only other new people were Sarah and her little brother. Apparently, they have been on their own, even before the outbreak happened. Their parents had been kicked out of their pack and left their children behind. The pack had all but ignored them after that, so Sarah was responsible for raising her eleven-year-old brother, despite the fact that she is only fifteen.

They have been benefitting the most from having the pack, yet have been wary, seeing as their old pack had ignored them. Alpha Seren has taken a great interest in them, usually toting them around with him wherever he goes, and whenever they aren't in school.

There used to be more werewolves, but a lot of them decided to leave in order to search for their old packs. Some had been in their wolf forms so long that they became stuck. No matter how hard Alpha Seren and Alpha Thomas tried, they couldn't help them to shift back. They hadn't stuck around long, instead choosing to go off on their own.

Despite having all these people around, I still feel like something is missing. I don't even have to wonder what that something is.

Today is Noah's first day with his birth mom. It has been a little over a week since they first arrived. Even though Noah was supposed to go with her the next day, Ellen had become busy with helping the others set things up. Today is the first day she has been free, so I agreed to allow her to visit with Noah.

Noah had seemed to know that something big was happening because he was fussy all night. Eventually, I had just taken him out of the bassinet and let him sleep between me and Jesse. He had calmed after that, his faced pressed against me all through the night to find comfort in my scent.

But this morning had been hell. Beckett had woken up first, so I got him ready while his brother was still sleeping. He was all dressed in a clean onesie and little socks by the time his brother woke up, screaming in displeasure.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get Noah to calm down, and it had honestly scared me. I had never seen my baby that distressed before, and tears had started to flow before I could even think about stopping them.

Eventually, we wound up with Noah in my lap, holding onto Beckett's hand while nursing. That was the longest we had ever just sat still, me not wanting to disturb the shaky peace and Noah not wanting to be away from me.

He is old enough now where he is able to sit up on his own. His eyes are now a pretty whiskey color, framed by dark lashes. It had made me tear up when he had stared up at me while nursing, one hand holding onto his brother and the other resting on my chest as if to make sure that I wouldn't go anywhere.

Suffice to say that when Ellen had knocked on the bedroom door a little while later, Noah was not happy. I had just got him to settle down, he and his brother snuggled together on the bed while playing with some toys. They were preoccupied enough that I was able to pack up a day bag for Noah, full of diapers, a couple changes of clothes, pacifiers, and a few blankets.

She had given me a small smile when I let her in, watching as I put a few last things in the bag.

"Everything you should need for the day is in here," I had said, giving her the bag. She had taken it easily enough, nodding her head. "Since I have had a week to prepare, there are some bottles of pumped milk in the fridge downstairs, enough to last you for the day. He drinks about five ounces per feeding, and he likes the milk to be warm."

Ellen had nodded her head, watching me with eyes that are exactly like Noah's, even the dark lashes that frame them. Beckett was fast asleep when I picked up a wide awake Noah from the bed.

"Just make sure to have him back by six o'clock tonight," I said, pressing a few kisses onto Noah's chubby cheeks.

"Of course," she had said, smiling when I reluctantly handed her Noah.

The baby had been fine with it, seeing as he is used to being passed from pack member to pack member, and he was neither tired of hungry.

"He usually naps around eleven and three, and will probably fall asleep when you give him his bottle," I tell her, having to tangle my fingers together to stop myself from snatching Noah back.

"Okay," Ellen said, holding Noah on her hip. He watched her with curious eyes, looking over at me a few times with a wide smile.

"Be good, peanut." Leaning forward, I had pressed one last kiss against his cheek, breathing in his fresh baby scent.

"I'll take good care of him, I promise," she had said, letting me give Noah another kiss before walking out of the room.

It was like she had taken a piece of my heart with her when she left, and now I am just on edge until she returns.

A familiar crying snaps me out of my daze, and looking down I see that Beckett has spit out his pacifier, mouthing at my chest.

"Oh baby," I coo, sitting down in one of the chairs in the playroom and getting comfortable. "Mama's here. It's alright."

The little ones are all running around, not caring at all when I unbutton my shirt enough so that I can nurse Beckett. He settles immediately when I get him latched, eyes focused on me. Unlike all the rest of the times he has eaten though, he unlatches after a minute, crying in distress. Wiping off the milk drops on his cheek, I pull him up to give him a few kisses, cuddling him close.

He settles slightly, enough for him to start nursing again, but he just does the same thing as before. It takes me twice as long to feed him than it usually does, and by the time he is finally full, we are both exhausted.

Popping his pacifier in his mouth, I cuddle him close, his face pressed against my neck as he starts to doze.

It takes me a little while to figure out why my baby is in such distress. Since the moment he was born, Beckett has been with his brother constantly, only separated for brief moments. They love to be close to each other, often resulting in me having to tandem nurse or Jesse and I having to carry both of them around.

Usually, it isn't a problem, but now that Noah is gone for the day, we are both feeling his absence. Looking at the clock on the wall, I see that it is only two o'clock. Noah should be going down for his second nap soon.

Someone sits down on the couch next to me, drawing my gaze away from the clock.

"How are you doing?" Avery asks me, sounding a little bit tired himself.

Olive runs over to him, asking a quick question before dashing away again. I can see why he is so tired. He went from having to just watch three kids- sometimes four, whenever Liam dropped Matty off- to watching five. At least the kids seem to be pretty good at entertaining themselves, but Avery still spends most of his time interacting with them.

"Fine, I guess," I say, giving him a small smile. Beckett snuffles against me, and I rub his back until he settles down, letting out a dramatic sigh for a seven-week-old. My eyes are drawn down to a nice set of love bites along Avery's neck. Eager for a distraction, I raise an eyebrow at him. "Having fun with Nik, I see."

He lets out a soft chuckle, his fingers brushing softly across the love bites. "We're celebrating a little early," he says, a crooked smile on his face.

His corny words make a surprised laugh burst out of me. Beckett makes a sound of protest, but I just give him a few kisses, causing him to doze again.

"Tis the season for celebrating," I say, and Avery just laughs along with me.

It is nice to sit next to him, both of us chatting while watching the little ones run around. I have never really had a chance to talk a lot with Avery, the two of us not really being familiar with one another. He doesn't try and coddle me like Liam and Taylor or protect me from every part of the world like Jesse and Levi. It's refreshing.

He even laughs at my rather inappropriate for little ears jokes, cracking a few of his own.

Once Beckett falls asleep, I lay him down in the play crib that gets moved around constantly in this house. He snuffles a little bit but calms once I place a blanket covered in my scent on him.

"Want to help me with some of these Christmas decorations?" Avery asks when I walk back over to him. "I don't know why I got saddled with them since I am as creative as a slug, but here I am."

Laughing, I take the fabric he is holding out. "Sure," I say, joining him at the table that is way too small for two adults. "What is this even for, anyway?"

"Stockings," he says, face scrunched in concentration while he carefully traces an outline of a large sock onto the bright red fabric in front of him. "We don't have enough for everyone, so Taylor asked me to make a few extra."

"Oh, I need to make one for Beckett and Noah," I say, sifting through the large bin of colorful fabric. I have no idea why Alpha Seren has it, but I am not going to question the man. "I never thought we would get to celebrate Christmas again."

Avery nods his head, handing me the stencil before picking up a pair of scissors. "Only sixteen days to go."

We work in silence after that, each of us concentrating on cutting everything perfectly. Tate comes up sometime later to pick up the kids, saying that he is going to take them outside so they can play in the snow. Avery calls out a loud thanks to him as they are leaving.

Working on the stockings is actually sort of therapeutic. I have never been much of an artist, but I do like to keep my hands busy. It is nearing three o'clock by the time I sit back, scrutinizing the two stockings I have put together.

They look good if I do say so myself. Beckett's is a deep red, a few snowmen I made out of buttons on the front, as well as his name on the top. Noah's is made out of a cream colored fabric with little moose on it, a few snowflakes decorating where his name is scrawled on top.

Avery has four blank stockings, all in various colors and patterns stacked on the table by the time that Beckett wakes up.

"I'll hang your stockings downstairs for you," he says, giving me another crooked smile when I go to pick up Beckett. "Do you want me to make ones for you and Jesse as well?"

"Sure," I say, cuddling my baby close to my chest. "That would be great, thanks."

"No problem," he says, watching me walk over to the door. "Thanks for hanging out up here, by the way." He looks down at the stocking he is working on. "It's nice to have someone to talk to who is above the age of five."

"I had fun," I say, cuddling Beckett closer when he starts to fuss. "I'll come up tomorrow, bring both the boys this time."

A bright smile spreads across his face. "Sounds great."

With one final wave, I walk out of the room.

The house is silent, which makes it easy for me to catch a sound that breaks a heart. I would recognize the sound of my baby crying from a mile away. Not able to help myself, especially since I have been away from him all day, I follow the sound. I end up on the forth floor, the bedroom at the end of the hall.

Raising my hand, I knock on the door, anxiously waiting for Ellen to answer. The crying doesn't quiet at all, and I am just starting to think that maybe she didn't hear me knocking when the door swings open.

A frazzled Ellen stands in front of me, looking exhausted.

"What are you doing here?" she asks. "It's only three-thirty."

Readjusting Beckett, I try to peek in the room, but Ellen has the door open just enough so that she can speak to me, making it impossible for me to see Noah.

"I heard Noah crying, so I just thought I would check on him."

"He's fine," she says, the loud crying coming from behind her disagreeing with her statement. "He's just tired, refusing to go down for his nap."

"I can take him, even if it is a little early," I say. "I know that taking care of a baby is exhausting."

She looks like she is about to turn down my offer, and I am just about to turn it into a demand when the cries become even louder. Noah sounds like he is struggling to even catch his breath between cries and it makes my heart break.

"Alright," she says, "Maybe he will calm down when he sees someone familiar."

Nodding my head eagerly, I watch as she leaves me beside the door. She comes back a minute later, a teary Noah in her arms.

"Oh, love," I whisper, taking him into my arms when she hands him over.

Ellen doesn't say anything, just watches us for a few seconds with a sad look on her face before closing her door.

Noah cuddles close to me, his hands gripping tightly to my shirt as I walk downstairs to our room. Thank god Beckett stays calm because I don't think I could deal with two crying babies right now, especially with Noah this distraught.

With Noah clinging to me, it takes me a few extra minutes to set Beckett safely down on the bed, his pacifier in his mouth, while also climbing on the bed.

Noah slowly starts to calm down, his face buried in my neck while I rub his back and press kisses to his tear stained streak.

"It's alright, baby. Mama's here," I whisper over and over again.

Eventually, he calms down enough that I can hear his stomach growl. My brows scrunch in confusion as to how he could possibly be hungry enough that his stomach is growling. Usually, he lets me know when he is hungry, never letting it get so far that I can actually hear his stomach getting upset.

"You hungry, love?" I ask.

Resituating us, I lay down on the bed, Beckett right next to us as I get Noah positioned. As soon as I have my shirt lifted, Noah starts to let out little cries of desperation. He only settles down when he is latched, swallowing quickly. He hasn't been this ravenous when eating since Jesse first brought him home.

What the hell? Did Ellen not feed him?

He curls close to me, his hands on my chest as he starts to fall asleep. Brushing back the hair from his face, I cuddle both him and his brother close, the ache in my chest finally starting to go away.

Someone knocks on the door. "It's me," Taylor's voice calls out, and I tell him to come in.

"How was his first day with Ellen?" he says, sitting down on the bed.

"I have no idea," I tell him, reaching down to pull a blanket over us. "He was screaming when I went to get him and starving. I left Ellen some bottles. Maybe he refused them, but I am still upset that he went so long without eating."

"You left bottles?" Taylor asks, his face one of total confusion.

"Yeah, in the downstairs fridge. There should have been plenty for him to have throughout the day."

"Wait, really?" he asks, sitting down on the bed.

"Yeah," I say. "Why do you sound so skeptical? I wouldn't leave Noah without something to eat."

"Oh, I don't doubt that," Taylor says. "I'm just surprised about the bottles is all. I saw Ellen nursing Noah when I went to check on her this morning."

My blood runs cold at his words. She had done the one thing I told her not to do because I wasn't comfortable with it. How fucking dare she. I am allowing her to see him when I could have just said no, and she blatantly ignores something I told her?

"Micah, are you okay?" Taylor asks, a look of worry on his face.

"No, I am not fucking okay," I say. "Could you do me a favor and tell Ellen that I would like to speak with her?"

"Um, sure," Taylor says, looking me over for a few seconds before walking out of the room.

Noah cries when I try to unlatch him, so I just let him be, instead just readjusting us so that I am sitting back against the headboard and he is laying in my arms. I don't have the heart to hear him cry anymore, especially when there are still tear tracks on his face.

Someone knocks on the door, and I call for them to come in. The door opens quietly, and Ellen steps into the room.

"Taylor said that you wanted to see me?" she asks, eyes flickering down to where Noah is nursing. Usually, I would cover up, but her actions pissed me off.

"I am only going to say this once," I say, barely able to keep myself from yelling. "You have to follow the rules I set for watching Noah. If you can't follow them, then I won't let you see him anymore."

"He's my baby-" she says, and I cut off her next words.

"No, you may have given birth to him, but he is my baby. I am the one who has nursed him and stayed up all night with him and bathed him. My mate and I are his parents. You are lucky that I am letting you spend so much time with him."

She looks like she wants to argue but just gives a stiff nod of her head. "Fine."

"Great," I say. "I'll give you one last chance, and if you fuck that up, you aren't ever seeing him again."

She gives me one last nod before walking out of the room, the door closing harshly behind her. As soon as she leaves, I deflate, worry coursing through me. I know Noah is mine and Jesse's baby, but I know that Alpha Seren is sympathetic to Ellen. Closing my eyes, I lean my head back against the head board. I don't know how I am supposed to keep allowing her to see Noah, but I won't run the risk of him being taken away completely.

Noah lets out a coo, and looking down, I see that he is smiling at me. Reaching down, I pet his cheek, reveling in the softness of his skin. His eyelids start to flutter, and I know that he is going to fall asleep soon. Not having the heart to hear him cry, I allow him to nurse himself to sleep, something that I don't usually do. I don't want them to get in the habit of having to nurse in order to go to sleep, but I can't find the strength to pull him away.

Beckett is already asleep, the little boy sleeping most of the time. Exhaustion weighs heavy on me, and I decide that maybe a nap isn't such a bad idea.

*****

Double updates are always a little surprising to me, but here we are. The story is starting to wind down, only 3-4 more chapters left, so expect frequent updates until the story is complete.