The house is becoming more and more decorated with every passing day, everyone getting excited as Christmas approaches. The tree stands tall in the living room, fully decorated and even a few strings of lights. Stockings are hung, some of them on the fire place and others on the walls. All in all, it makes the house feel more like home, the sight comforting.

"Wow, Micah, these smell great," Taylor says, walking into the room with Rosalie on his hip.

"Thanks." Setting down the cookie I am working on, I look over at him. "Only have a few more days of Christmas, and I need something to distract me."

A look of understanding comes over his face as he comes closer, standing beside me. "Ellen's turn with Noah again?"

Nodding my head, I look down at where Beckett is sleeping against my chest. Taylor had given me the wrap that he had used for Rosalie when she was younger, and I have to say, it is a lifesaver. With Noah being gone once a week, Beckett becomes grumpy. He misses his brother just as much as I do when he is with his birth mother. So, having him tucked in tight against my chest, only his face peeking out, makes it possible for me to get things done, instead of just sitting and holding him all day.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Taylor says, wrapping me in a tight hug. Rosalie takes the opportunity to grab at my hair, trying to pull it into her mouth. She just giggles when I pull away, placing a quick kiss on her cheek.

"He better be," I murmur, my eyes drifting over to the stairs. Noah is up there with Ellen, has been for a few hours now. "I don't think I will be able to hold myself back if he comes back starving again."

Taylor pulls me into the living room, sitting me down on the couch next to him. Everyone is off doing their own things, the living room empty except for us and the crackling fire.

"Did she really try to nurse him?" he says, settling Rosalie on the plush carpet, where a few stuffed toys are scattered. She doesn't waste any time in quickly crawling over to them, babbling in her own language as she tries to chew on them.

"Yeah," I say, my fingers running through Beckett's hair. "Even after I told her not to. It wasn't even like I didn't leave any food for him. There was plenty of milk in the fridge."

"Do you think she will try it again?" he says, crossing his legs beneath him.

Shaking my head, I watch as Beckett snuffles against me, letting out a tired sigh as he drifts back to sleep. "She better not," I say. "He didn't even get anything from her, came back to me absolutely starved." Taylor lets out a distressed sound and I give a quick nod of my head. "I know, I almost cried seeing my baby that upset. That's why I asked you to get her for me. Told her that if she ever tried to pull that shit again I wouldn't let her see Noah anymore."

"Well, hopefully, she listens," he says, picking up Rosalie when she crawls over to him. She is rubbing her eyes, and it is obvious she is tired. She doesn't fuss though, just lays her head against Taylor's chest. Her eyes start to flutter as he rubs his hand through her blonde curls, reveling in the contact.

"Where did she get the blonde hair from?" I ask, the question popping in my mind from nowhere. Honestly, I have been wondering for a while, just never thought it would be polite to ask.

"Ah, that would be Tate's mom," Taylor says, pressing a few kisses onto Rosalie's cheek. "Elliot's hair is the same color."

"Do you think it will change when she gets older?"

Taylor shrugs his shoulders. "Maybe, but I hope not. I've gotten used to the blonde curls."

We sit there in silence after that, both of us tired from the already long day. Eventually, Rosalie starts to fuss, and Taylor just cuddles her close, nursing her until she falls asleep. He says that she only likes to nurse now when she is tired, and it is easy to see that the weaning is making him a little sad.

In an effort to comfort him, I stand up, grabbing some cookies from the kitchen for both of us. Ever since we got the chickens, we have had eggs, widening the array of food we can make. Plus, the little ones are really enjoying having scrambled eggs for breakfast.

When I come back, Rosalie is fast asleep on Taylor's chest, a pacifier slipped in her mouth and her hands curled into Taylor's shirt. He gives me a small smile when I hand him a sugar cookie.

"Thanks," he whispers, and I nod my head.

By the time we are both finished, Beckett is waking up, his blue eyes blinking up at me. He starts to fuss against me, and I know that he is going to want to eat in a little bit.

"Here, you two get comfortable," Taylor says, "I'm gonna lay Rosalie down and then grab some things. Be right back." With that he stands up from the couch, handing me one of the throw blankets before walking out of the room.

As carefully as I can, I unwrap Beckett. He is starting to snuffle by the time I get both of us situated, the blanket covering us. Beckett is like this every time his brother is away, unlatches four different times and fusses. Besides having to deal with an upset baby, I am overly full on the other side, meaning I am leaking.

Let's just say that it isn't a fun experience. When Taylor gets back, he doesn't even question me, just sets down the box he was holding and goes into the kitchen. He comes back with a towel and I take it eagerly.

"Your body is trying to compensate for Noah not being here," he says, not a question at all.

Nodding my head, I finally pull my shirt back down, Beckett refusing to eat anymore. Taylor eagerly takes him from me, popping the pacifier in his mouth while I clean myself up.

"It's always like this whenever Noah is with Ellen," I mumble, throwing the towel away from me once I am only marginally sticky.

Taylor sits there, watching me with a soft expression. "Can I ask you something?" he says, sitting back down on the couch. When I nod my head, he continues. "Why do you let her see him if it causes all of you so much distress. Wouldn't it just be easier to tell her no?"

Letting out a long sigh, I sit back on the couch, letting my eyes fall closed. "It's complicated."

"Well, tell me anyway," Taylor says, and it's his assertive tone, one he rarely uses. I know I won't get out of this without telling Taylor what is going on.

Gnawing on my lip I decide that I might as well give in. "Alpha Seren is sympathetic to her, and a little tiny part of me is, too. She lost her mate to the humans and now she doesn't want to lose her baby as well. I know that if I would have outright refused to let her see him, Alpha Seren would have made us cooperate anyway. I didn't want to run the risk of having to give him to her completely, so I said that she gets to see him one day a week."

"But she went against your rules," he says, dark brows scrunched together. "Surely he would side with you after she went against what you told her."

Shaking my head, I force myself to look over at him. "I am not willing to run the risk of losing him completely. It would ruin me if I could no longer be the one he calls mama."

A smile cracks on my friend's face. "Mama, huh?" he lets out a soft laugh. "I see that Liam isn't the only one around here who gets called that."

Grateful for the subject change, I let out my own laugh. "You just wait. Soon enough, Rosalie will be calling you mama, too."

Taylor has a soft smile on his face, and he reaches over, giving my leg a squeeze before handing Beckett back over to me.

"Things are going to get better, Micah. They always do." He pulls the box he had set down earlier over to him, rummaging inside. "Now, enough sad talk. I have some presents that need wrapping and cookies that need eating."

Once I set Beckett down on a blanket on the middle of the rug for some tummy time, I help Taylor sort through the box of stuff he has.

"Where did you get all of this?" I ask, pulling out a really soft, burgundy colored croqueted blanket. It's wonderful, the colorful stunning, and I can't help myself from rubbing my cheek against the material.

"I made it," he says pulling out matching hats and setting them down on the carpet next to him.

"I didn't know you knew how to crochet."

He shrugs his shoulder, putting a hat in the two plain boxes he has sitting next to him on the couch. "Something my grandma taught me."

"Wow," I say, watching as he ties the boxes shut with a piece of twine. "Could you teach me? I want to know how to make blankets this soft."

Taylor lets out a soft chuckle, peeking up at me before going back to tying the twine. "Sure."

We work in silence after that, Taylor doing most of the work on his own since Beckett starts to fuss. He calms down when I lay next to him, helping him to turn over on his back. By the time I look back over at Taylor, he has a much bigger stack of presents sitting next to him, and he is starting to place them under the tree.
A beeping coming from the watch Jesse had let me borrow has me sitting up faster than before. I probably even burned some calories while doing it.

"What?" Taylor says, still crouched next to the tree. "What's wrong?"

A smile blooms on my face, and I lean down to press a soft kiss against Beckett's cheek. "Can you watch him for a minute?" I ask, standing up. "It's time for me to pick up Noah."

"Oh, yeah, of course," Taylor says. "I thought he was with Ellen until six, though?"

Too happy to get upset at the mention of Ellen spending even more time with my son, I give a quick shake of my head. "No, I said we had to shorten the time he is away from us. It was too hard the first time."

"Makes sense," Taylor says, and then he waves his hand. "Alright, shoo, go get the baby."

Not wasting another second, I hurry from the room, barely stopping myself from running. It is silent when I make my way up to Ellen's room, and I am hesitant to knock, not wanting to wake Noah if he is still napping.

The door opens a few seconds later, Ellen holding a passed out Noah. She doesn't look at me when she passes him over, not saying a word before closing the door.

"Alright then," I mumble, walking back downstairs.

Noah snuffles against me, and before I even have a chance of stopping it, he wakes up. He pulls away from me, blinking those big brown eyes as he tries to wake up.

"Have a good nap, peanut?" I ask, running my fingers through his hair. Noah scrunches his face before he tears up, his lower lip wobbling as he starts to cry.

"I guess not," I say with a sigh, pulling him close to me. His hands grip onto my t-shirt as he buries his face into my neck. "It's alright, peanut," I whisper, rubbing his back in an effort to calm down.

He eventually does, his cries dying down into sniffles by the time we make it back into the living room. Noah won't let me put him down, though, instead insisting he lay on my chest while watching his baby brother with wide eyes.

"He doesn't look too happy," Taylor remarks, looking up from where he is playing with Beckett.

"He was fast asleep when I got him but woke up only a few seconds afterward."

"It sounds like he woke up once he caught your scent," he says, sitting up. "Did Ellen say how he was throughout the day?"

A harsh chuckle slips out of my mouth, jostling Noah. He just grips onto me even tighter. "She didn't say anything to me before closing the door in my face."

"Still mad, I guess," he says.

"That's what I thought too." Noah rubs his face against my sore chest causing me to wince. I am still so full from not nursing one baby and then the other only eating half of what he usually does.

Taylor notices my discomfort, his brows scrunched in worry. "I'm gonna grab you a hot water bottle. That should help with the pain."

"It's alright," I say, shaking my head. "Can you just hand me Beckett? He didn't eat much earlier and should be getting hungry."

"No problem." Taylor picks up a squirming Beckett with ease, settling him in my lap. Noah lets out a happy coo at seeing his brother, grabbing his hand. The movement causes me to wince again, and it doesn't slip Taylor's notice. "Go ahead and nurse them, but I am grabbing you that compress anyway."

He leaves the room then, not allowing me anytime to protest.

It doesn't take me long at all to get pillows situated and the boys laying in the right position so that they can nurse. My let down, though, is more painful than usual. But as soon as they start to nurse, the pressure is gone.

"Oh thank fucking god," I murmur.

Taylor returns then, Rosalie in his arms as he sets the heat compress down on the couch. Her cheeks are rosy and her hair is in wild disarray from her nap. Noah watches them with wide eyes, his hand squeezing my chest as if afraid they may try to take me away.

"Stop it, peanut," I say, pulling his hand away and pressing a soft kiss to the fingers. "You're hurting mama."

Beckett falls asleep instantly, the first time he has had a full belly all day. Noah isn't too far behind him, and I have a feeling that he wasn't asleep for long before I went to pick him up.

Taylor helps me to unlatch both of them without waking them up, slipping pacifiers in their mouths when they start to protest.

He lays them down on the blanket Beckett had been using before, the warmth of the fire making it so that they don't need a blanket on top of them. Now free of babies, I am able to lay back on the couch, the heat compress on my chest as I close my eyes.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this," I murmur. "How much longer we all can do this."

"You're strong, Micah," Taylor says, laying a comforting hand on my leg. "Don't let her drag you down."

"I just want things to go back to normal," I whisper.

"They will," Taylor reassures. "You just got to keep pushing through the hard stuff. Both of those boys love you and see you as their mama and Jesse as their daddy. Nothing is going to change that, no matter what it may seem like right now."

He stands up then, the couch jostling slightly. "Now, get some rest while you can. I'm going to get started on dinner."

"Want me to watch Rosalie?" I ask, cracking open an eye.

Taylor just shakes his head, a fond smile on his face. "No, just get some sleep before you keel over in exhaustion."

"Well, if you insist," I say, letting myself relax back into the couch.

"I do." Taylor leans down, giving me a hug. "You're doing great, Micah. Don't doubt yourself. You're stronger than you think."

And with that, he walks out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.