Matty coos as the birds chirp around him, a smile spread across the little boy's face as he looks around the forest. Liam had wanted a break from the baby, and Erik is busy splitting wood with the others, so I decided to take him with me while checking the perimeter. He loves it, always smiling whenever he is outside.

He has grown so much now, almost a year old. His hair is coming in dark, with curls at the end. Everything about him screams Liam. The only indication that he has another parent is the curls on his head.

A bird flies by us, Matty laughing at the breeze left behind by the bird's wings, his hair ruffling. He turns back to look at me, his blue eyes wide as if asking if I had seen the bird, too. Smiling, I pull him closer against me, kissing his chubby cheek as he squeals in joy.

"The birds are so silly, aren't they, little love?" I say, voice carrying in the crisp spring air.

Matty just pats my cheek in answer before going back to watching the birds. A smile spreads across my face at the rapt attention he pays to the flying creatures, how he finds endless amusement in something I only thought about in passing. Babies are interesting creatures.

Branches crunch under my feet as I walk along the path. The only indication that it is spring is the blossoms in the trees. The weather is still cool, humidity in the air that warns of rain. But it is nice out here, nonetheless. It feels freeing to be able to walk around the forest without the threat of the beasts that lay on the other side of the fence.

Besides, walking through the blooming forests allows my body to relax, most of my frustration melting away. For the first time in a while, I am able to take a deep breath, worry not clouding my mind. Because I feel like that is all I do nowadays: worry.

Erik and Liam have been acting strange, more so than usual. I had started to feel them pulling away just before leaving with Tate to find my pack lands again, but it has become worse. Now that we have returned and have found out that my dad is alive, there is an unresolved tension in the air.

And none of us are good with the whole communication thing. People always say that is key, but I have enough trouble forming my thoughts into sentences. To actually speak them aloud seems near impossible.

A familiar moaning comes from the other side of the fence, pulling me out of my thoughts. Matty stops his cooing, looking up at me with wide, fearful eyes that have me pulling him closer to me. He does not hesitate to tuck his head against my neck, wanting the safety of being close. Since I am on patrol, it is my responsibility to check out the moaning, even if I just want to leave well-enough alone.

As quietly as I can, I walk over to the fence. A tree stump stands about three feet away from the fence, allowing me to peek over without getting too close. Dad is working on building multiple look out stations around the fence. That way we have an easier way of keeping an eye out. But for now, I am stuck with relying on a worn down stump, trying my hardest not to slip on the moss growing on top.

Matty whines as he presses his cold nose against my neck, breathing in my familiar scent. Shushing him, I press a soft kiss on his wispy hair before turning my attention back to the moaning creature.

Squinting my eyes against the glare of the sun, I try to see through the reflective dew drops that are falling off the leaves of the trees. My breath halts as I catch sight of the infected. Two of them are stumbling around, knocking into trees as they approach. They are both badly decayed, but one is significantly worse than the other. It is impossible to even tell if they were once male or female, their genitals all completely mutilated. Pus and slime drip from open wounds. Clearly, they had just been in a bad fight, cuts running along side their bodies. A knife is still stuck in one of the infected's chest, not slowing it down in the slightest.

They don't notice me at all though, just approach the fence before flailing as much as a walking carcass can. The blood of an infected is spread across the outside of the fence, deterring them from trying to get any closer. My dad had found out about their aversion to it somehow and had proceeded to paint the fences in it.

Now, I can see how well it really does work. The infected move away from the fence as quickly as possible, bumping into each other and trees in their haste. Once they are out of sight, I step down from the stump. The motion jostles Matty, who whines against my neck, clearly still scared.

"It's alright, little love," I murmur, pressing a kiss against his head as I continue my walk. "Daddy's got you."

Matty relaxes against me as if he understands my words. I know that isn't possible, but it is a nice thought.

We are almost back to the house, having completed the walk around the property when I heard the infected. The sound of arguing catches me off guard, especially since the voices are very familiar. Matty perks up at the sound but stays quiet anyway, chewing on his fingers.

The mud silences my steps, so I am able to catch my mates' unawares. They are huddled together at the entrance of the path. They are clearly arguing about something, Liam's fists clenched in frustration as he harshly whispers something to my brother. Erik's lips are pursed and his eyebrows are drawn together, the look I have received for a large percentage of my childhood. They are both frustrated with each other, clearly not liking what the other is saying.

Matty must get impatient with being able to see his other parents but not being able to go to them. His little squeal of protest catches both of their attention, their faces both melting into softer expressions. Liam turns to say one more thing to Erik before turning to walk down the path, a tense smile on his face. Erik's mouth drops open, clearly not wanting to be done with the conversation they were having, but he just shakes his head, turning to walk back towards the house.

It only takes Liam a few seconds to reach us, Matty laughing in delight when he sees his mama. The baby almost topples out of my arms as he reaches for Liam, his chubby arms outstretched. My mate manages to scoop him up, peppering his cheeks in kisses before turning to give me one as well.

"What was that all about?" I say, nodding my head towards the entrance of the path.

Liam lets out a tired sigh, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me back towards the house. "Ah, nothing. Just your brother being as stubborn as ever."

It's obvious he is not going to say anything else on the matter, so I do not even bother to ask. Instead, we both stay quiet, the only one talking being Matty as he babbles in earnest. Liam nods along to his words, responding with his own questions that have Matty staring at him with wide eyes.

Once we reach the house, Liam hurries inside. Most of the residents are outside, seeing as it is the first somewhat sunny day in a week, and it looks like it will start raining soon. Tate waves as I go by, bouncing his own baby in his arms as she whines in discontent.

Laughter and the smell of cookies greet me when I walk inside. Avery is standing in the kitchen, Elliot and the twins 'helping' him to roll dough into small balls before placing it on a tray.

Avery tries to smack my hand as I grab a cookie but misses when I dash away, the little ones laughing. The living room is empty sans Liam and Matty. They both look tired, and glancing at the clock, I see that it is around the time when Matty usually goes down for a nap. The two of them are both lying on the couch, Matty nursing as Liam drifts off. Neither of them even notice as I drape a blanket over them, pressing a kiss to their heads before quietly leaving the room.

The nights have not been kind to us, Liam trying to night wean, and Matty not appreciating it. We are all just hoping that it will be worth it in the long run. Before, when Matty was allowed to nurse whenever, he was up every two hours on the dot, not settling until Liam let him nurse to sleep. To say that it was a hassle is an understatement. Hopefully we just have a few more long nights before the baby gets used to the change.

Olive runs over to hand me a cookie as I exit the living room, a perfect half circle on the side. Her eyes are wide in innocence as I take it, but the chocolate around her face gives her away. Shaking my head in amusement, I walk out of the house, eating the cookie in only a few bites. We don't get sweets that often, wanting to conserve the food we have. But with summer coming, it seems that everyone wants to celebrate.

Erik is nowhere to be found when I walk outside. I had been hoping to talk to him, ask what Liam and he had been arguing about. This whole relationship has been strained lately. Add in the fact that Liam wants to have another baby, and I feel like we are about to snap.

The thought of this relationship not working causes my heart to stutter. This is the foundation of my sanity. Having Matty and mates, it is one of the few bright things left in the vicious world around us.

Now that I am on my own, I wander behind the house, over to a special part of the property. It takes about ten minutes to reach the meadow, but when I do, I can't hold back my smile. This is the meadow where we found out we were mates. It is much prettier now, though, with the flowers in full bloom.

My fingers drift over the petals, eyes searching for the best ones. My mom used to love daffodils, always delighted when Erik and I would bring her handfuls when we were younger. Thinking of her makes my chest ache, and I don't even hesitate as I pick a few bright yellow daffodils. A bush of lavender is growing along the tree line, making it easy to pick a few. Once I grab a handful of light pink tulips, I smile in satisfaction.

The walk back to the house is peaceful, with the bundle of flowers in my hand. Rain starts to sprinkle down by the time I make it back to the house, and I am happy that I went out when I did.

Peeking in the living room, I see that Matty and Liam are still asleep. Avery and the little ones are gone from the kitchen as well, most likely on the top floor, where the play room is located. This leaves the kitchen empty for me.

The flowers fit nicely in the vase my mother used to use, water filling half of it. It isn't the nicest arrangement, but it isn't like I am a florist. With a shrug and a satisfied smile, I carry the vase up to the bedroom, placing it on the dresser next to Matty's crib. They stand out against the beige walls and mahogany furniture.

It isn't much, but I like them anyway. Hearing Erik and Liam arguing did not sit well with me. I am supposed to be the outlier in this relationship, the two of them happy. But I guess things are different than I had initially thought.

Grabbing a pen and a piece of scrap paper, I scribble a cheesy poem. The types my mom used to put in our lunchboxes whenever we left the house upset.

Lavender is purple,

And daffodils yellow,

You make me happy,

Keep my heart mellow.

Well, not as cheesy as I first intended. My pen hovers over the paper and I debate whether or not to just throw it away. But I can just feel my mother's disappointment at the thought. So, with shaky hands, I lean it against the vase, watching as the edges become soft from a few drops of water that had fallen over the sides.

The wind howls outside as the rain starts up. Walking over to the window, I watch as some of my pack mates run inside, eager to get out of the storm.

The flowers are bright against the dark clouds outside, standing out in a mostly empty room. A heartfelt letter from an aching heart. Shaking my head, I snort at my own thoughts.

This isn't some sort of romance novel, Ethan, get ahold of yourself.

*****

Yay! It is finally here. Sorry for the wait, but now that it is up, updates will be every Friday. A new cover will be coming soon, hopefully, so I can get rid of the crappy one I made.

And lovely Ethan, we finally get a peek into his thoughts.