~Abhijay's POV~

About two hours into sleep, my slumber was abruptly shattered by some breathing noises. My eyes wouldn't open properly, but it sounded like someone was struggling to catch their breath. I rubbed my eyes and looked behind me to find Suhana sitting up, her eyes flinched close. Her breathing seemed ragged and she was rubbing her palms together.

I straightened myself up as well, my face etched with worry.

"Suha...na? Is everything alright?" I asked her, now facing her completely, reaching out for her one hand.

She just nodded, and I felt more worried.

"Suhana, please, you're worrying me now." I pressed on, my tone firm but gentle. She was also being stubborn. She looked miserable right now and still was claiming that she was fine.

"I-I am fine" She whispered, more like huffed.

"Suhana?"

I scooted a bit closer, my eyes locked on hers.

"Are you having trouble breathing?"

I saw the rise and fall of her chest and the sweat beads that were forming on her forehead. I noticed her small hand trembling under my large fingers.

She shook her head hastily, biting her lip, trying to control its quivering.

"Suhana, are you having an anxiety attack?"

I rubbed her hand with my thumb, trying to soothe her down. I didn't know much about these terms, but I had enough knowledge to know that she was anxious and needed help.

"P-please just go away..." Her voice was barely audible, laboured from the heavy breathing; she was visibly helpless and desperate.

"Not until you're okay," I replied firmly, tightening my hold on her hand.

"PLEASE! Just...." Her voice came out shrill. She bit her shaking lips, I felt her hands turning cold.

"Shut up; I know you hate me and all, but I'm not leaving you in this condition alone; I'm bad, but not that bad!" I snapped at her, I know I shouldn't have but I did. She was restless and still ready to argue with me. Why is she like this? Why can't she agree to take someone's help? I know she loathes me right now,w and maybe I caused this reaction,n but for once, is it so hard not to be stubborn and ward off her feelings for the sake of her health?

She gulped, leaning away, probably startled by my choice of tone. I cursed under my breath.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry," I said, my eyes showing genuine apology. I should've kept the frustration in control.

Her tears wouldn't stop flowing, her small sobs making me feel miserable. I can't see her in so much pain; it somehow hurts me as much.

"Suhana, are you having an anxiety attack?" I kept my tone softer this time. I knew she was, but I wanted her to acknowledge it, to maybe talk to me so she could phase out of it.

She shook her head again, violently this time but then when I shot her a glare, she nodded with great difficulty.

"Shit," I murmured and slipped out of the bed. I quickly walked to the side table where a jug of cold water was always kept. I poured some of it into a glass and took it to her.

She looked at me, her eyes teary as she tried to breathe shallowly, bringing her brain to control her body. She looked fazed and pale, trying desperately to catch her breath.

I handed her the glass of water, which she took with trembling hands.

I supported it by keeping two fingers below the glass and pushed it to her lips to force her to drink it. I sighed, seeing the disapproval in her eyes.

"Take a few small sips," I commanded and she took one sip, gulping it slowly. Thank God.

Finally, something she obeyed.

I let go of the glass as she drank the water sip by sip. I came back to my place and sat with folded legs, covering them with a blanket. It was cold; she wasn't even covered properly. I took a blanket and opened it, wrapping it around her shoulders as she gulped down the water. I adjusted it around her chest, unable to stop admiring just how adorable she looked with it. Her eyes were like those of a little kid, big and innocent and, right now, full of pain, but still the most beautiful ones I've ever seen. Her lips, a light shade of peach, looked softer than ever as they touched the glass. They looked so...kissable. Her cheeks were red, maybe from feeling cold and anxious, a tint of embarrassment and probably fear. I cleared my throat, bringing myself out of the dreamland I was making.

As she finished the glass, I saw her light lipstick marks on the side which she used, a chuckle escaping my lips. She hasn't even washed her makeup. She kept the glass aside and looked away, her face contouring with crimson.

"I'm...sorry" " she whispered in a low voice, her eyes downcast with embarrassment; her breath was still heavy, but she seemed to be able to control it more.

"For what?"

I took her hands in mine again but she jerked them off this time. I could say she felt a bit better. That's all that mattered.

"I woke you up" She whispered, "This was too...dramatic"

She feigned a smile, trying to hide her pain.

"It's not dramatic, they're your emotions. I'm sorry, Suhana. I know I triggered it and-"

"It wasn't your fault, I had a nightmare."

I felt guilt rising in my chest but she didn't let me complete and shut it down with the reason of a nightmare.

"Don't lie," I said bluntly, I knew she didn't want me to feel bad. She always thought about others.

She gulped, wiping the sweat from her forehead with the end of her dupatta. I saw how she jutted her lip out in disappointment, and that somehow was distracting me. I know, it's the wrong timing, but even in such a deshelved state, she looks gorgeous; how can someone even do that?

I was subconsciously smiling when she snapped in front of my face, misjudging my expressions.

"Oo Mr. Abhijay, I'd not lie to make you feel good. I genuinely had a nightmare!" Her voice had the usual sass it held when she was with me, and I realised how her tone only came forward when I was there, talking to her.

Around everyone else, she is the epitome of obedience who listens to the elders but in front of me, she is a total firecracker.

"Are you okay now?" My eyebrows knit together in question and I covered my mouth as a yawn threatened to leave my lips.

She nodded and scoffed; her breathing was still heavy, and her fingers were still shaking, but she seemed to be better than before.

"I was okay only!"

I saw how her eyes rolled and her lips pursed together, and somehow I was admiring that too. She pulled the covers on her and rested her head on the pillow. Her breathing wasn't normal now, but she felt more composed than before, so I felt assured and laid down again, closing my eyes, but sleep was far away now as thoughts of her kept clouding my mind.

A few minutes later, I heard soft sobs coming from her. My heart broke, it sounded painful, and it pained me too, knowing maybe I was the reason for her hurt.

She wasn't okay.

I thought of turning around and comforting her but I knew she felt forced to hide what she felt. I knew she might feel more triggered if I talked to her any more. I stayed wide awake, waiting for her to soothe down so I could sleep without worry.

After a few minutes, I heard soft sniffles which soon didn't reach my ear. I deciphered her sleeping state and closed my eyes with a sigh, letting slumber take over as well.

~Suhana's POV~

I was peacefully asleep, last night being a tough one for me. I always got nightmares but this one was too terrifying. I was sitting on a swing and I saw 'her' again. She came behind me and pushed the swing so high I flew out of it and fell on the ground, which started to crack, and I fell inside it. I was met by a lot of lava and I floated on it, my body burning but not dissolving. I felt terrible. Seeing her made me feel so panicked and anxious that it wouldn't even let me dream straight.

The sun rays crept from the glass and fell right on my face, and I turned over to my side, my hand extending out. I felt something tough but I cared the least. I was too sleepy to notice what was going around. I heard soft snoring, which disturbed my sleep.

"Kaun hai yeh..."

I banged my hand on the hard surface, whining, and I heard a gasp.

"Suhana, itna gussa acha nahi hai"

I recognized the voice instantly, it was sleepy but still familiar. My eyes shot open and I pulled back my hand to myself, sitting up with a jerk. His face came into my view, tilted towards me, and his forehead was crinkled, his eyes squeezed together and lips in a frown. I looked at the perfect symmetrical pair of lips he owned.

They looked chapped but still good. I wonder how many girls got the chance to kiss them. I cleared the thoughts in my brain, chiding myself mentally.

"You hate him, remember?" My mind reminded and I smiled softly.

"Sorry, Sorry," I murmured and leaned on the bedside table to check the time.

"Aise kaun uthata hai subah subah", He grumbled as always. He loved his sleep more than anything in this world, but it didn't matter right now.

It was already very late.

"It's 9 am, shit!"

I stood up from the bed and rushed to my suitcase. I opened the flap and took out my brush from the side pocket. I walked inside the washroom hurriedly, almost tripping over my foot once.

I stood in front of the mirror, my hair was a complete mess. The pleasant smell of lavender reached my senses, awakening me more. It reminded me of 'her' again. Her hair smelt of the same scent, and when I snuggled with her, that was the only thing that would soothe me, but it was rare. I sighed and took a tube of paste from the holder, applying it to my brush.

After ten minutes, I come out, feeling more fresh than before. My eyes wander around the room, trying to figure out my next action. My gaze falls on Jay, who is sleeping on his stomach, softly snoring.

"9 baje bhi banda kharate maar raha"  I frown and stroll towards him, my hand reaching out to shake his shoulder.

"Utho," I said sternly, coughing a bit.

He didn't even move.

"Idiot" I murmured and walked to my side of the bed, picking up the heavy comforter of mine with great difficulty and folding it. It took me 3 minutes, damn 3 minutes. Who needs such a heavy cover? But then I remembered that was the only thing that made me feel comfortable last night. I stifled a smile and dusted my pillows before setting them straight.

"Abhijay?" I called out again, a bit hesitantly. He could be asleep, but I needed him. I didn't know what to do, what to use, a shower or a bucket, where are the taps or even the shower caps.

I huffed as he showed no response.

I looked at the pillow he was clutching, a thought crossing my mind. I try not to laugh as I bend over the bed and slowly pull it out of his grasp. I bite my lip, and raise the pillow in the air, throwing it on him with full force.

He squealed in shock, the sudden hit pulling him out of the slumber. He pushed away the pillow, looking at me with wide eyes.

"Yeh kya tha?" He said he sounded annoyed and groggy from broken sleep.

"Takiya tha." I shrugged, not able to control myself any longer. I burst into fits of laughter. His face was such a view, I couldn't help myself.

As I calmed down after a few moments, I saw a smile breaking on his face. He chuckled a bit and pushed away the covers as well. His eyes were locked on mine and I suddenly felt a rush of nervousness. I gulped and walked towards his side of the bed to my suitcase.

"Ghoor kya rahe ho? Muje help karo, I've to bath. Late ho raha hai."

I gave him a short glance before digging my face into the clothes.

"What? You want me to help you bath?!?!"

He said, his brows knitting and mouth agape in shock. I facepalmed, whining with frustration.

"HELP ME WITH THE SUPPLIES AND CLOTHES!"  I said loudly, irritation laced in my words. He stiffened a laugh but I knew he just wanted to tease me. Why is he so bad?

I picked out a light green salwar suit which had very little embroidery on it and one of my favorite ones. I stood up with a grin but saw the frown on his face.

"You think she will let you wear this?" His voice had a hint of sarcasm, making a current pass through my spine.

"Who?" I replied, trying to find my towel.

"My mom." He stood up from the bed and sat beside me on his knees. I tilted my face to look at him but he was staring at my clothes. I pushed down the flap in irritation at his answer.

"Why won't she?" I asked, pressing my lips together.

"You know how she is, this dress will somehow look cheap to her." His voice was surprisingly calm when he said that; I couldn't believe it had a hint of acceptance, too. But I had no choice. I'd to obey her anyhow.

"Well, then what can I wear?" I kept my voice low this time, opening the bag again. He looked inside it for a bit and then picked out a light yellow salwar suit. Flowers of the same colour were knit on the borders, and it looked soft, the colour catching my eye.

I nodded and took out my towel, strolling towards the washroom. I pushed open its door and was about to get in when I remembered my query. I turned around on my heel, he was going inside his 'walk-in' closet.

"Abhijay?" He looked behind and raised his eyebrows.

"Voh, shower use karu ya bucket?"
My voice somehow came out a bit squeaky, my face reddening with embarrassment. I cleared my throat, looking down, clutching my towel tighter.

"Whatever you're comfortable with, mai taps dikha deta hu."

He strolled towards me and showed me the taps and left the room to bathe in the guest bathroom.

~30 minutes later~

I rushed down the stairs to the living area, where I saw Papa with a cup in his hand, probably tea. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there, passing him a smile.

"Good morning, beta." He gave me an awkward grin, keeping the cup down. He probably didn't know what to do as well.

"Um, good morning unc- ahm Papa ji." I cursed myself in my mind at such a hesitant wish, what must he be thinking of me?

I suddenly felt two hands wrapping around my eyes, blinding my vision. They were soft, so it wasn't Abhijay for sure, and Maa wouldn't do anything so weird, especially as it was my first day. I kept my palms over the ones covering my eyes and I felt slender fingers and two rings. I knew who it was, my lips twitching upwards.

"Anandita?" I chuckle, trying to push away her fingers so I can get my precious vision again.

"How did you know?" She gasped, coming in front of me with a frown, the usual cheerfulness in her voice.

"It was obvious."

Papa said from behind, very plainly and the light in her eyes vanished. She gave a soft smile to him before looking at me.

"I hope it didn't bother you." She said in a small voice, looking down. I kept my hands on her shoulders.

"Arey nahi nahi, why would it bother me, Haan?" I looked into her eyes, trying to make her look up. She was in such a good mood and papa flamed it down.

"Sure?" She looked up for reassurance.

"Ofcourse, chinta kyu kar rahi hai." I gave her a bright smile, trying to uplift her mood, and I did; she grinned back.

"Let's go to the garden." She happily said and pulled my hand with her even before I could reason.

The fresh smell of roses and mogra reached me, the air freshening my soul. I could hear small birds chirping their heart out, the morning being a good one for them. This was beautiful, yet so unusual.

My mornings mostly consisted of taking a bath and then spending time in the pooja ghar, worshipping lord Krishna and then gossiping with Papa over a cup of tea before leaving for work. But here, I wasn't even able to locate the pooja ghar, nor was I offered tea nor I knew if I could enter the kitchen. I was jobless too, which made it more difficult.

I walked over to a bush of roses, bending down and caressing one of the flowers.

"Bhabhi, yeh dekho!" She called from behind, startling me. One of the thorns pricked my thumb, and I hissed in pain. Shit.

I quickly stood up and took it in my mouth, trying to soothe the blood.

"Bhabhi! Jaldi!" She called for me again and I wiped the thumb in my pallu, rushing towards her.

"See, kabootar ka nest hai, probably she will lay eggs!" Her voice tingled with excitement, and I passed her a genuine smile.

"Wow, I love pigeon babies. Jabalpur mein mere nani ke ghar boht saare kabootar nest banate the, fir mai aur mere cousins un bacho ko neeche utar lete the jab unki maa nahi hoti thi."

I felt nostalgic remembering the time I would get an escape from my home for a month during vacations, visiting my favourite places and people. It was the best time of my life, my nani used to make us sit in a queue and oil our heads while telling us the stories of ancient queens. Though the oil part frustrated us, the stories pulled us into imagination. That's how I started wanting to make my own. Nani was a very big part of making me start my journey as a writer.

I've been writing since I was around ten, it was my happy escape from life. First, I used to hide my works because art was never appreciated in my house. I was always expected to top being the eldest one, but then, when I turned fifteen, I met a teacher. She taught English in my school to the higher grades, and she was the only one who appreciated my work; I didn't even dare to tell my parents about it. When I turned 18, I published my first book after earning my own money by paying tuition. I didn't tell my father until I turned 22 and he found out about it through my friend, and then it was a whole nightmare.

I was shaken out of my trance by Abhijay, who rested his hand around my shoulder while talking to Anandita.

I tilted my head up, passing him a glare before slipping out of his hold.

"Does it hurt?" He asked calmly.

"Huh?" I couldn't understand what he was pointing at.

"He is asking if it hurt when you fell from heaven, bhabhi", Anandita giggled, her tone carrying an obviousness.

"Arey nahi-" Abhijay was about to protest but she added again,

"Or maybe he is asking if you're sore from...you know..." Her volume was lowered this time as she looked at us both one by one with a mischievous glint.

I turned red, even though it shouldn't be affecting me, the thought alone made me feel something in my chest.

Abhijay coughed lightly rolling his eyes and smacking her head.

She winced and bit her tongue, muttering a sorry.

"I meant your thumb, you got hurt with a thorn, I saw."

He sounded a bit flustered, too, but he could manage it well, at least better than me.

"Oh yeah, it's fine." I shrugged, looking around to distract the thought.

Anandita probably sensed the tension in the air and changed the topic.

Soon, we went inside again and scurried to the dining area. Maa was sitting in the corner seat, chewing on what looked like a cut papaya. I glanced around the table, checking on the menu but all I saw was cut strawberries, cut pineapple, cut papaya and a stack of pancakes with some butter on it.

I sat opposite her while Abhijay sat beside me. Anandita took the place next to him, and Papa sat beside Maa.

She gave me a short look before continuing her food again. Everyone served themselves silently and began munching on the healthy meal, giving each other random looks.

I have always been habitual to a heavy breakfast, something warm and Indian and this was definitely out of my expectations. I've only seen pancakes in videos and as far as I know, they are sweet. How can I digest something sweet for breakfast?

I was lost in my thoughts when Maa started saying,

"Are you dumb?"

I looked up at her, my face clouded with question and then looked at Abhijay, whose mouth was agape.

~~~~

FINALLY updated 🤌🏻

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- Esha