"Are you dumb?" Maa said, her voice hushed yet clear to me.

I looked up at her, my face clouded with a question and then looked at Abhijay, whose mouth was agape. He held a spoon in his hand, just near his mouth and looked shocked by her words. I looked away from him, around the table, silence lingering aloud. Everyone paused and glared at her in shock. I looked down as I felt a sudden unwelcomed urge of embarrassment, my heart starting to thud faster.

"What? Aise kya ghoor rahe ho mujhe? Cause clearly she is dumb! Kabse baithi ho aise ke aise, khana pada hai toh serve yourself and eat na! What do you want? The servants to serve you? Ya me to pamper you and give you the pancakes in your plate? Kahi ki rajkumari ho? Ya should I say Rani?" Her voice grew louder with every word she uttered, and lastly, she scoffed, picking up her fork again, digging it into the pancake and taking a bite.

My cheeks grew hot with nervousness as everyone gazed at me and my empty plate. I wasn't able to look up at anyone, even for reassurance, cause I knew no one was there to save me from such moments.

I sometimes wondered whether Maa even got married or was born married! She never understood the sentiments of a newly wedded bride and I concluded this even if it was the first day of mine in this house. But I guess it would be better to say that she never understood anyone's sentiments, like they didn't matter or like what she thought was the supreme opinion. I felt suffocated, wanting to stand up and make a run for Jaipur.

I was lost in my thoughts when someone finally spoke up, him.

"Maa, pehli aur aakhri baar keh raha hu, I won't appreciate this behaviour with MY wife." His tone was authoritative, the one that expected no arguments in return, but I doubted if that would be the case.

"Tum rakho apni is wife ko pyar se, mai jiski jo jagah hoti hai usko voh dikha deti hu." She eyed me, more like scanned my face and then glanced back at Abhijay, a sly grin spreading on her lips. I somehow felt disgusted; she had no right to speak of me like that, but yet, I couldn't say anything. It would sound pretty disrespectful, after all, she is my mother-in-law. I gave a soft sigh, not daring to lift my head up.

"Aur uski jagah is ghar mein utni hi important hai jitni Anandita ki." Abhijay kept his fork down, the clinking of it with the plate startling me a bit. I finally tilted my head up, my eyes meeting his as I shook my head slowly. He pursed his lips together, huffing with frustration, glaring back at me.

I gulped and looked at Maa again, my eyes beholding the tears as much as they could but they threatened to fall out any moment now.

Anandita looked rather unbothered as if she accepted both the words of her brother and the behaviour of her mother.

"Aur Anandita is ghar mein mere jitni important nahi hai. I am the most important person in this house. Mai jo kahungi, vahi chalega!" Her voice was much more raised at this point which made me flinch, a tear finally escaping through my long lashes. My hands trembled as I hastily wiped it away.

The bitter memories of my past started flooding in my brain again and I desperately needed someone to pull me out of that whirlwind of unending glimpses of the days I wanted to delete. I took a shaky breath as Maa stood up, pushed her chair aside and stormed out of the room, displeasure clear in her expression.

I again gave Abhijay a look, his eyes were still filled with unexpressed anger and something else, something that was more of grief, something I was unable to identify. I let it pass when I felt his hands gently gripping my shoulder, his anger seemingly calm.

"Calm down, okay?" He said in a hushed tone but before I could reply, papa pushed his chair away and stomped his leg, walking out of the area. I shivered slightly as I tried hard to bring my mind under control; this wasn't what I expected on the first day of this pious relationship called marriage.

But then again, what was so pious between me and Abhijay?

It was a total disaster.

I shrugged away his hands and walked out of the room as well, so I didn't know where, but I needed my space. It was getting hard for me to not lose my mind.

I've always been a calm and composed girl, and bursting out would be the worst thing I could do in front of my in-laws; it's not how a girl is supposed to be, is it? But for how long can someone even keep their emotions bottled up? 10 years? 20 years? I bet I've done that for a longer time but this was the first instance where I genuinely felt anger bubbling in my chest, passing through my veins and making me feel like I want to scream. I'd faced every possible backlash but this was pure disrespect, and my dignity is more important to me than anything else.

I came to the garden area, the same place where I was before breakfast, and the only place in this house, scratch that, mansion that I found a tiny bit of peaceful. I spotted the swing and a smile twitched on my face.

I almost ran towards it, the anklets I'd worn for the first time in the morning tinkling melodiously. They weren't any normal jewellery, they belonged to my favourite person, my mother's mother, my nani. Wearing them made me feel her presence, her purity, her love; it was like an unexpected support, its cold texture caressing my skin.

I settled on the swing, pushing myself with my legs, looking around the vast span of greenery; the small butterflies, ladybugs, and so many other tiny creatures were hopping from one flower to another. They had such a carefree life, sucking nectar and living a life happily until fate decided to get them swatted by a human.

A fascinatingly white dove flew beside me, pecking on the swing wood but not going away. I looked at it, providing me an unknown kind of peace, and forwarded my hand to pet his feathers. It sensed the proximity and flew away, flapping his wings as hard as he could. I chuckled at how scared he was, but I was rather amazed. He looked exactly like the pigeons I'd imagined in the tales of the great love of kings and queens, the messenger pigeons that helped the lovers exchange letters when they were helplessly trapped in their balconies, the letter that held promises so true, and the fact that they were fulfilled every time.

I wished this was the case in real life. What if completing promises was as easy as making them? My life would have been pretty different if every promise made to me would've been taken care of. But they were broken and so was my heart, undeniably shattered.

I was tangled in the threads of my thoughts but I felt something tickle the tip of my nose. I felt irritated and slapped the place. The feeling passed for a moment before it started tickling again, but this time, I heard a soft buzzing.

Oh shoot, was that a honeybee?

I coughed a bit, trying to startle it, but it was of no use. My eyes were almost crossed as I tried to see the insect resting on my cute nose. I loved it a lot, and it couldn't be swollen on the first day of my marriage. I tried to swat it away but it wasn't going away. I hated honeybees, they'd bitten me a few times in my childhood and the pain was pretty much stinging and unbearable. I wanted to shout for help, but I didn't want to make a dumber impression; I was already hungry after the first one.

I was trying my best to get rid of it when it left my nose and kept sitting on my other body parts when I saw him standing near the edge of the lawn.

I gave him an angry look, his calm demeanour stressing me out further.

"Kya kar rahe ho? Aise ullu ke jaise dekhte hi rahoge ki isko hataoge bhi?" I shouted at him, the presence of the bee scaring me more.

He bit his lip and muttered a 'sorry', but a smile somehow stayed on his lips. I scrunched my nose up cutely as he tried to ward away the bee, clearly stifling a laugh.

"You can laugh if you want to." I rolled my eyes, knowing there was no use in making the situation serious; it genuinely would've been a funny situation to see for me.

He chuckled a bit and then began laughing as he got rid of the bee that wasn't ready to leave my side. I was cautious about it but his laugh was distracting me. I noticed the little dimples that formed on his flat cheeks, his eyes crinkling at the corners out of pure joy, his hand moving swiftly as he tried to get hold of the insect. It made me smile, noticing him was actually fun. I saw things I never thought of.

His face was a literal piece of art.

But did that change my feelings towards him?

No.

Do I still hate him as much?

Maybe.

He stood up for me today, no doubt, and the grief that has covered his brown orbs is noticeable too. But still, he wronged me, didn't he?

He finally caught the bee in his big hand, running off to the edge of the garden and letting it free there. He huffed as he walked towards me again, a similar smile on his face. I smiled back, feeling relieved. I was so engrossed in noticing him that I'd forgotten about the bee until I saw him putting it away.

"Thank you." I simply shrugged.

"You looked cute when you were being swooned over by that bee." He was still laughing in bits, he seemed to be clumsy but cute.

"Shh" I kept a finger on my lips to stop him from talking rubbish, it didn't make sense!

How can someone look cute with a frown? I bet I looked rather funny.

"Okay madam, but genuinely, did it bite you?" His laugh slowly subsided as he raised his eyebrows in question.

"Nope, you saved me, Mr. Saviour." I giggled again, straightening my dress and tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I like it." He said sassily, "And also, Maa ke baare mein zyada mat sochna, haan? She has always been like this." He said as if he knew what I was thinking about.

I nodded and hummed.

I almost forgot I hated him.

I scoffed at the thought of the last hour and looked up at him again.

"Can I have something proper to eat?" I requested, more like whined, but I was starving. I needed something proper to eat.

"How about we go for brunch?" He suggested, his voice carrying the usual ease.

"Nice try," I replied and walked away from the place, inside the mansion.

I didn't feel ready to have a proper conversation with him, it would become too much to handle. I was trying to compromise with my feelings, trying to adjust with him even if I felt a strong sense of dislike. I am not someone who holds grudges for long, but this time, I felt the freedom to do so, and I'd completely right to, too.

Just as I entered the house, I was engulfed by two arms, hugging me tight. It was, probably trying to make me feel better.

I do feel better after the light-hearted conversation with Abhijay, though.

I hugged her back, a smile on my face as she broke the embrace.

"I'm so so sorry for Mom's behaviour." She guiltily said, her voice high-pitched yet compassionate.

"You don't have to be, teri galti nahi thi." I patted her shoulder in reassurance.

"Still, I'd to make up for it so I cooked you something yum!" She squealed excitedly, holding my hand and pulling with me as she rushed through the house towards the kitchen. I stumbled a bit but caught up with her pace, running to the kitchen.

She stopped near a counter where a man in a white apron was chopping tomatoes with great precision, very tiny pieces that would get lost inside the delicious meal. I liked to observe such things.

Anandita opened the lid of the vessels and the strong, rather spicy smell of something reached my nose.

"Poha? You didn't have to do this for me, Nandu." I said sweetly, but the smell was too strong. I doubted if it would taste good but I'd to somehow eat it.

"I wanted to." She said cheekily and took a plate from the drawer, taking a few spoonfuls of the poha and keeping it on my plate.

I grinned and took a smaller spoon, scooping the poha in it but before I could take a bite, I heard Abhijay from behind me.

"Kya kar rahi ho Nandu? Aur kitna torture karna hai teri bhabhi ko?" He said and I felt him approaching me. I stopped midway and kept the spoon down, looking behind me.

"Kya yaar bhai! Muje aata hai banana!" She feigned irritation, making a cute pout.

"Deadly hai iski dishes Suhana, mat khao, bata raha hu!" He rested his hand behind me on the counter, sighing.

I scoffed at him. He can't let her morale down like this.

"Nahi, mai toh khaungi." I replied cheerfully, and Anandita's face lit up.

I took a deep breath and kept the full spoon in my mouth. The flavours spread to my tastebuds; it wasn't that bad after all.

I chewed it with a smile but suddenly, it felt spicy. The more I chewed it, the more the spice increased. I needed water, but I couldn't disappoint Anandita.

I gave her a tight-lipped smile, licking my lip but it burned more. I took a deep breath and said,

"It's too good!"

"Really?" Her doe-shaped eyes brightened.

"Yes!" I took two spoons more.

"Then aur khao!" She carefully began to serve but I stopped her with my hand.

"Boht acha hai Nandu but I'm quite full." I pretended to sigh, trying to aid my statement.

"Oh." She frowned.

"I'm sorry, but I'll eat pura next time! Abhi, I'll complete what's on my plate." I patter her shoulder and started completing what was served to me. I tried to stifle coughs many times, finished the dish, and kept it in the sink. I washed my hands, breathing softly from my mouth to soothe the heat.

"Koi Baat nahi, I've some work now, mai karke aapko vapas milne aati." She said and gave me a quick side hug. Abhijay stood there seeing the whole scene but didn't say a word.

I bit my lip and passed him as I exited the kitchen and ran to my room to get water.

I entered the chamber but the water jug was empty. I groaned in frustration and was about to leave for the kitchen again when Abhijay came with a freshwater jug and a clean glass.

He walked in lousily, not aiding my state at all.

I snatched it from him and poured some water in the glass and chugged it down in one go. I poured one more glass and did the same.

"Aaram se Suhana, you'll choke." He softly reprimanded.

I nodded and kept the jug aside, chuckling in relief.

"Itna spicy tha toh kyu khaya?" He said in a scolding way, making me roll my eyes.

"She made it just for me, usko udaas nahi karna tha." I threw a suitcase on the bed, unzipping it.

He came and stood just behind me, his gaze so intent, that I could feel it from behind.

"And what about your health?" He asked, more like reminded.

"I'm used to spicy food." I stepped away, removing all my clothes from the bag. I picked them up in my hand and opened the closet to set them.

"Not this spicy, Suhana." He took another bag of mine and opened it as well.

"Let me do what I want to." I coldly said, feeling bothered by his constant attention.

He said nothing after that, settling himself on his side of the bed and taking out his laptop from its case.

I started setting my clothes in the closet, humming a soft tune when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," I said eagerly and worked up.

"Kya kar rahi ho?" The familiar and bitter voice reached me again, ruining my mood in one go.

I looked at Abhijay, still not facing the person, and his eyes were locked on the door, too.

I turned around with a tight-lipped smile.

"Apne kapde closet mein rakh rahi hoon," I informed in a formal tone after it was confirmed that it was my mother-in-law. Sorry, great mother-in-law.

"Koi zarurat nahi hai, you'll get new pairs of clothes anyway." She walked inside the room. I was surprised that she had the manners to even knock.

"Huh?" I was surprised, what was wrong with the ones I already owned?

"Yeah, these are too cheap." She sounded like she had no emotions. I looked down, frowning.

She picked up an orange salwar from my open carry bag, looking at it for a while.

"Like this, Malhotra ki bahu aise kapde nahi pehnegi!" She threw it on the bed carelessly.

That dress had a special significance in my life. It was the dress my mother left for me. It smelled like my mother, it felt like my mother. Though I somewhere hated that woman, she still was the warmth I craved for now and then.

Every daughter idolises her mom, but I idolised what she was not. This dress also reminded me every day that I don't have to be like that woman. I've to be a much better human, I've to prove that her upbringing didn't shape me into a wrong person.

"I'm sorry, Maa, but I can't let go of these dresses, especially not that one," I said politely, trying not to infuriate her.

She shrugged.

"Whatever, I don't care about that! You'll do what I say, we have a good image. And also, go with Abhijay today and get a good, rich-looking party dress from the mall." She ordered, leaving no room for arguments.

"Why?" Abhijay asked, even before I could react.

"Because I'm throwing you two a reception party six days later. I'll send the invites tomorrow and quite some reputed people are going to join us there. I need you both to show your best dressing senses, period." She commanded and left the room. We couldn't even reply nor get time to digest.

"How could she? I don't want a celebration like that!" I sat on the bed with a thud, pouting.

"I know." He sounded angry as well, but his voice carried acceptance too.

"Do something about it." I tilted my head to look at him.

"Let me see." He sighed and stood up from the bed, walking out of the room, leaving me alone with the mess of my clothes.

I stood up and started my unpacking again, thinking about the party that was going to take place the next week.

----
Exams are near and I update rarely, but I'll be more regular after March ♡

~ Esha