{06.}

D I Z Z Y - W O R L D

banner by  aeris-

❝On a scale from one to ten,

how would you rate your pain?❞

-- Baymax ( Big Hero 6 )

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- not edited -

The sun set hours ago behind the gates of Hollywood Studios. Now, the street lights of cafes and gift shops illuminated the walkway in a harsh yellow fog.

Marlee and Holden walked down Hollywood Boulevard without a throng of people moving past them, pushing them aside with double strollers and children running between their legs. Their day had consisted of a lot of this. Marlee had probably stepped on three children - on accident of course. She wished parents would just watch their children, or at least invest in one of those backpacks with an attached leash.

Her spirits couldn't be so easily dampered though. The night was tranquil. The moon was vibrant against the darkened sky, it's brilliance a comfort to Marlee. It reminded her of home. No matter how far she was from Texas, the moon was the same everywhere she went.

"Are you hitting another park tomorrow?" Holden said, his words abruptly ending Marlee's contemplation. His voice was small in the near silent space between them.

"I don't know yet. I don't really have a schedule."

She turned her attention to Holden. The collar was up on his denim jacket, shielding his skin from the coolness of the breeze. His hands were shoved into its side pockets. He looked young. The angles of his face were softened as he lowered his neck into the material of the jacket. 

"Did you really come here without a plan?" His tone was indistinguishable. Marlee couldn't guess if he was shocked or amused by her reply. Maybe it was both.

"I'm not the most organized person." This was the sad truth. Marlee couldn't keep a planner to save her life. When she bothered to write a to-do list at all, the paper wound up disappearing into the pile of junk mail, essay drafts, and coffee-stained worksheets on her desk. Marlee definitely lacked any organizational skills.

"How long will you be here?" Holden asked, his jade-colored eyes fixated on the exit gate of the park. His pace slowed to a leisurely stride, and Marlee slowed her feet to match his steps.

Marlee wanted to save this conversation for later. Maybe until their last day together. The idea circled her head a few times in her usual before-bed thoughts. She hopped she would be the first to ask. Now, she was feeling nervous. Marlee felt a shift in the air, like his mood had changed and it was as contagious as the black plague.

Before this stupid question, their day had been perfect. After two runs on Rock N' Roller Coaster with Remi, they had lunch at Fairfax Fare. She and Holden shared a platter of beef empanadas and an order of fries. They sat together in the restaurant for over an hour, telling stories and sharing laughs.

After lunch, they trekked through all the Star Wars attractions and shows. She learned that Holden loves Star Wars, and more specifically Anakin Skywalker. When a black-cloaked Darth Vader stepped onto the stage, Holden threw up his hands and screamed for him to "use the force! Kick his ass!"

She followed him through the Star Wars Launch Bay and took a photo with Chewbacca. The wookie stood between them, arms spread around their shoulders. Holden gave the camera a thumbs up and a dorky smile. Later, when Holden checked the image on his phone, Marlee's eyes were on him. She was smiling too, her teeth bright against pink lipstick. Her eyes squinted as if she had been laughing.

There was the proof of her feelings for Holden. She questioned it before, but now she was sure of it. She had a crush on Holden Miller. The image showed the fact clearly. It was so obvious that even a child could pick up on it.

Marlee stopped walking and turned to face Holden in the street. He watched her, unsure of what she was going to do next.

She took a breath, and with an exhale, got the words out. "I leave in six days. The day before Christmas eve to be exact."

In Holden's silence, she heard music chiming lightly in the distance, soft and whimsical in its composition. It sounded familiar, but Marlee couldn't think of the words.

The Hollywood Studios gate was close now.

Holden looked like he meant to say something, but his mouth closed and his gaze fell to his sneakers.

Surely he's thought about this. His slumped shoulders told Marlee that he didn't want to have this conversation either. They couldn't stay in this dream forever. They needed to face reality sooner-or-later.

"Are you leaving soon?" When she said it, Holden shivered. Maybe it was the cold, but Marlee got the sense that there was something more.

"Three days after you." His posture straightened, and his hands dug deeper into the pockets of his jacket.

"Well, what are your plans tomorrow?" She started walking toward the exit gate, moving quickly in hopes that she could shake away the awkwardness between them. Holden followed beside her, guiding Marlee onto the sidewalk and following the path to the exit.

"I was thinking about having a lazy day." They approached the front of the park, the red letters of the Hollywood Studios sign buzzing in the stillness of the night. "All this walking is good for burning off those Mickey waffles, but not for my feet. I was thinking about the pool, maybe having some lunch at the resort." His perkiness was back, but Marlee had a feeling that it was forced.

"Oh," Marlee tried a smile. "That sounds nice." She hoped that he had another grand idea. Maybe he'd ask her to Epcot or to catch a boat ride on the lagoon. She wasn't expecting him to ditch her for a heated pool. 

"What time do you like to have lunch?" 

"Oh, I uh-" 

"It's totally fine to sleep-in. I'm planning to sleep until at least ten o'clock." His smile caught Marlee off-guard. One moment he sounds nervous, and the next he's laying on the charm.

Walking under the Hollywood Studios gate, they followed the signs for bus number six to Disney Springs. The rustling of leaves calmed Marlee's nerves for a moment as she stood beside Holden at the curb of the street. The sound was hypnotic, almost like a lullaby. She closed her eyes. The wind puffed through her hair, strands whipping against her face.

A firework popped in the distance, and Marlee opened her eyes. Behind the Hollywood Studios gate, a burst of yellow lit the sky. Glitter fizzled and fell like a tail of a comet toward the Earth.

If Marlee could make a wish at this moment, she'd wish for this dream to never end. She wanted to stay here forever.

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The driver let them out of the bus at the curb. Marlee followed behind Holden, taking the steps one at a time. His feet hit the sidewalk first.

"M'lady." he said, holding out a hand as Marlee stood on the last step.

She narrowed her eyes at him. He looked up at her with a smile, his green eyes bright in the darkness. "Really? I'm not a damsel in distress. I think that I can manage some stairs."

"You forget that I'm a gentleman." His brows wiggled and his fingers waved through the air. "'Cmon. Watch your step."

With a sigh, Marlee took his hand and descended the last stair. His palm was warm and smooth against her skin. She felt the warmth travel up the length of her arm and to her face. The doors of the bus whooshed closed behind her and pulled away. Marlee's hair swayed with the wind, hitting her face and hiding the pink of her cheeks.

Their hands were still entwined as they looked at the grand entrance. Before them, a series of palm trees lined the paved walkway, framing designer boutiques and jewelry stores. A Christmas tree towered over the height of the stores in the center of the complex, its bulbs flickering a rainbow of light.

"Where to first?" Holden said, his eyes lowering to their interlocked hands.

Marlee let go to push a lock of hair behind her ear. Her cheeks went from pink to red in an instant.

Thank God it's too dark for him to notice.

She looked at the shops in front of them. Pandora, Tommy Bahama, and Coach. Nothing she could afford.

"What's the place you were talking about?"

"The Edison. It's new and I've never been. It sounds cool though." Holden started walking away from the boutiques. He turned down a corridor that lead to a different area of Disney Springs.

This part seemed more Marlee-friendly. Instead of designer brands, she saw a Sprinkles cupcakes and a Starbucks.

"What exactly is The Edison?"

"It's a bar themed after the 1920's. Kind of like a speakeasy, I think. There are dancers, live music, and great cocktails - at least that's what I've heard. And burgers too, if you're hungry."

She had to admit that it sounded incredible. As a fan of The Great Gatsby novel and the adaption with the oh-so-sexy Leonardo Dicaprio, Marlee was fascinated with the era of decadence. She thought of feather dresses and shiny earrings.

"Was I supposed to dress up?" She looked down at her jeans. The style was more mommy-chic, a trendier version of the mom jean, complete with frayed holes at the knees and actual usable pockets. Her high top converse were scuffed, their once white color now looking yellow in the night. The mustard-colored cropped t-shirt was on clearance at Forever 21. Surely she wasn't appropriate dressed for cocktails at an extravagant bar.

"Nawh. It's only a bar - just jazzed up the good ol' Disney way."

"What's the Disney way?"

"Expensive."

He wasn't wrong. Marlee was thankful that she went with the dining plan option. Seeing prices on the menu at even casual restaurants could force high blood pressure in anyone.

"There it is." Holden said, pointing to a wide dark stone building.

It definitely didn't look like a speakeasy from the outside. As far as Marlee knew, speakeasy were meant to be secretive. She expected a trap door that required a password to get through. Maybe even Leonardo Dicaprio.

The Edison was a multi-story building with circular windows and a green roof. It stuck out in the otherwise serene display of palm trees and Christmas decor of the surrounding stores and restaurants.

They approached the entrance of The Edison. A man in a button-down shirt and bow tie asked for their IDs. He wasn't as handsome as Leo, but he had a stern, young face.

Holden had his ID out in a second. He pulled it out of his wallet and gave it to the man. His ID and wallet were back in his pocket by the time Marlee found hers at the bottom of her cross-body purse. She handed it to the man with a smile. He looked down at the card and then back to Marlee as if it was really that hard to notice the head of red hair and brown eyes. He returned the Id and opened the door. "Have a nice night."

Holden gestured to the open door. "Ladies first."

Marlee rolled her eyes and walked inside. She met the hostess at a podium and was guided to a table.

The inside of The Edison was large and full of life. A group of women in stockings and frilly corsets danced on a stage to a dated tune. A piano player sang in a deep, velvety voice. He sounded like a mix of Elton John and Frank Sinatra. The decor was rusty and mechanical. They passed a clock made from moving gears, so large that it covered an entire wall. Its hand ticked loudly and continuously.

The hostess stopped at a table close to the bar. Marlee took the seat across from Holden.

"This is cool." he said, his eyes searching the room.

Marlee picked up the menu and scanned the list of drinks. She recognized a few names: mojito, cosmopolitan, margarita.

"What are you getting?"

"Well, I really can't afford the wine. I'm going with a beer. Do you want to share some fried calamari?"

Marlee held in a laugh. This would be their second shared meal of the day. It made her happy to think that Holden was so comfortable with her.

"I'm thinking about getting a daiquiri."

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The appetizer came and went, along with four or five drinks. Marlee didn't keep track. The strawberry daiquiri was cold and went down her throat so easily.

"You mean to tell me that you had braces?"

Marlee nodded, her head and eyes heavy. "Seventh grade."

Holden sat in the chair beside her, his elbow on the table and his long legs spread out. He smelled like oranges.

"What's your secret?" Marlee asked, taking another sip from her drink.

Holden leaned back in his chair with a smug look on his face. "I can't think of one."

"No way. I don't believe that. I told you mine, and now you owe me."

"Well, think of a question and I'll answer it."

She twirled the straw between her fingers and thought of a question. She considered asking something embarrassing. Maybe an awkward moment from high school. He was sure to have some good stories from those years. Then she wondered about asking something more risky. She decided to go with something more relaxed, but was easy to twist into something more high-risk. "Who is your celebrity crush?"

"Kate Middleton." he blurted, without giving the question any thought.

"What?" Marlee exploded with laughter. "Why? You couldn't pick a super model like every other guy?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know what it is, but she's hot."

"Okay, okay." Marlee leaned toward Holden, her leg brushing against his under the table.

"What's your favorite non-Disney movie?"

"Forrest Gump." he said so matter-of-factly.

"Yep. You're weird." Just when she thought she had him figured out, he answers these questions with such out-of-the-blue replies that she would never expect.

"Wait a minute. These questions are lame. Let's get more personal for a minute."

Normally, Marlee's nerves would be buzzing. The alcohol in her system cleared her mind of all anxiety, and she was feeling ethereal. "Go for it. Ask me anything."

Holden thought for a moment, his head cocked to the side and his eyes studying the tiles on the ceiling. "How about we do a quick round? You answer the question in less than three seconds. You get no time to think about it. Deal?" His eyes were on Marlee now, searching her face.

"Sure. You ask first since you bailed on telling me a secret." Marlee straightened in her chair, placing her hands in her lap and giving all her attention to Holden.

"Okay." He took a deep breath. "When was your last relationship?"

Well, he's not holding back. That's for sure.

"Nine months ago."

"When was your last date?"

"Uhm." She raked her brain for a moment, but remembered the time constraint. She guessed, "A year maybe."

"What did you think about me when we first met?"

Marlee opened her mouth to reply, but sat back in her chair and considered the question. Should she be honest? Or should she play it safe? Holden's face lacked any expression. His eyes centered on Marlee. "I thought you were funny." She lowered her eyes to her lap. She wanted to say more. She wanted to tell him that he was cute and that she's thought about him every night since they met. She wanted to know if he had the same thoughts. 

"That's it?" His face didn't change. His expression was impossible to read.

Marlee's body went still. Her fingers twitched on her lap and she felt a surge of something shoot through her veins. The anxiety was coming back now, the blissful feeling of the alcohol wavering. "What do you want me to say?"

"You have to be honest. That's the rules." He smiled now, the first real expression in what felt like forever. "No secrets."

"I thought you were cute, and I hoped that I would see you again." Marlee blurted in a single breath. Now that it was out, she feared what Holden would say next.

He smiled, the corners of his lips curling. It was torture waiting for him to speak. Marlee was ready to be shot down. She needed to be shot down. If he didn't do it now, then she would continue hoping that something could happen between them. Something more than sharing appetizers and riding roller coasters. 

"Last question." He leaned forward in his chair, his elbow now resting beside Marlee's drink. "If I kissed you right now, would you kiss me back?"

Marlee sucked in a breath. The taste of strawberry followed the air down her throat.

This can't be happening. I heard him wrong. He didn't just ask to kiss me.

Holden leaned his body further, catching Marlee's cheek with a warm hand. He guided her face toward his and spread his lips over her mouth. Marlee closed her eyes and kissed him back, their lips pushing together feverishly.

Holden was the first to pull away. He lingered close to her face for a moment, almost as if he was considering kissing her again, but he pulled away. His hand left her skin. Goosebumps sprouted in its place.

"Should we get the check?" he smiled, telling Marlee that he didn't regret what just happened. He signaled the waiter with the hand he just cupped over her jaw. She thought of his hands venturing elsewhere, but stopped when she felt the warmth in her cheeks return.