Moments later, Richard pulled the garage door down to close his Camaro into the darkness. Garth stood nearby, breathing heavily. He was leaning on Aialo-El, looking down at her arm, which was not currently an arm at all but rather a flexible tentacle she had wrapped around his waist.

"This is so cool," he said happily. He was clearly exhausted and in a lot of pain, but at least the experience was keeping him in high spirits. "Do you even have bones?"

"Garth, let's add that to the list of things you don't ask a lady," said Richard. He locked eyes with Aialo-El, keen to keep going.

If he slowed down, he was going to lose his shit, and he wanted to be safe from rampaging crustaceans when he got around to losing his shit. "Where to now?" he asked.

"Can you support your friend? I must go ahead and advise my crew that you are with me."

"Cool. Sounds like a good plan. At the risk of sounding like we hold grudges, we'd like to avoid being shot at any more." Richard extended his left arm, looping it around Garth's ribs.

Garth grunted, his face screwing up. "Other side. Other side."

"I can't, mate. My right arm's all but useless after the whop you gave me," said Richard. "Steady on."

"You're hurting me, and I do not like it." Garth clenched his jaw, unsteady on his feet. He had clearly been hiding how much pain he was in.

"I know, but it's better than dropping you." Richard adjusted his hold on his friend, but there wasn't a good way for them to go on together. They were both a right arm down.

Aialo-El's tentacles were loose now, fanning around her head and extending curiously toward the human men. "This will not work," she said after a moment. "I will support him."

"No, no, you've got to make sure we're not about to be killed," said Richard.

"I will walk with you into the trees. You may wait for me there as I go on ahead. I will not leave you long."

Being left without their green guardian didn't sound like the greatest plan, but Richard and Garth had little choice. They shuffled along slowly, Garth leaning on Aialo-El for support. The grass was high and their progress slow as they made their way through the yard. They were forced to slow down further still when they came to the grove, where weeds, undergrowth, and fallen branches littered the ground.

Finally, just on the edge of the cornfield, Aialo-El stopped. She helped Garth rest back against a tree. He slid down to sit on the ground with a groan, lowering his head.

Richard knelt next to him. "You're scaring me," he said. He examined Garth's arm. The wound had bled enough to soak the shoulder of his shirt, but it hadn't been running with the stuff. Until that moment, the notion that Garth might have lost too much blood had not occurred to him at all. Had he been stupid not to think of blood loss?

Was Garth in shock?

Could shock kill a person?

He should have just gone on to hospital, two against one be damned. His friend was seriously hurt, might be dying, even—

"It's fine." Garth grinned. "You can be very grandmotherly sometimes, Richard. It's sweet. We should get you one of those big, flappy, flowery things. What do they call those?"

"I will return in a few moments," said Aialo-El. She looked back toward the road, her tentacles quivering, and then turned to Richard.

"It's some kind of a dress, only for old ladies," continued Garth.

Aialo-El splayed the fingers of one hand. She ran her other thumb over the knuckles. There was a soft click, and then she was holding something out to Richard, who was trying his best not to be distracted by Garth's musings.

"A moose? No, that's not it. I think it starts with M, though."

The object was shaped like a parenthesis. Richard frowned at it, not taking it from her. It looked innocent enough, but he had seen Aialo-El shoot from her hand, and he suspected that this was the reason she could.

"Observe," said Aialo-El.

"Richard, you know what I'm talking about, right?" asked Garth.

"Not now, Garth," said Richard, stiffening as Aialo-El stepped up next to him. She extended her arm, holding the object on the curve of her index finger. With her thumb, she depressed the edge.

There was a flash of light followed by a familiar, all-consuming silence which lasted for a few seconds. A sapling not far from them had been torn from its roots and now lay in the tangled weeds, smoking.

"No way," said Garth. "Not fair. He gets the stun gun?"

"You aren't in working order," said Richard. He accepted the weapon carefully from Aialo-El, studying it to make sure he knew which end should be pointed away. "Thanks, I think. I'll try not to kill us."

"I will only be a moment. Be attentive," she said.

And then, in the blink of an eye, she had shifted shapes and was slithering toward the cornfield, the only indication of her passage the shiver of the tall grass.

Both Richard and Garth stared after her for a few seconds. Then, Richard turned back to face the way they'd come. The world seemed suddenly very large and very quiet. The reality of what had happened was sinking in.

"You aren't, either," muttered Garth.

"I'm what?"

"You aren't in working order either. You said your arm's messed up."

"It is, thanks to your bloody awful aim. Not getting near you in the vicinity of a lamp ever again."

Garth chuckled, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the tree. "Bet when you got up this morning, you didn't expect to be chasing aliens into cornfields," he said. "Oops. I mean...well. I don't know what to call her, other than an alien."

"She might not be an alien like what we're thinking. The extraterrestrial kind. She might be a worm queen from the center of the earth."

"Aw, man. That might even be cooler. So her ship might not be a spaceship at all."

"It might be one of those tunneling ships with the big..." Richard rolled his hand, indicating the whirr of a gigantic drill bit. "You know."

"Yeah. I know. Like the mole guy from The Incredibles." Garth drew a breath and let it out in a tired sigh.

"The Underminer."

"Yeah! That's it. The Underminer." Garth closed his eyes.

They were quiet for a while, the only sound the rustling of the corn and the leaves of the trees that were offering them shelter. Richard strained his ears, listening for any sound that could indicate danger, but there was nothing. After the chaos and coursing adrenaline of their escape, they had found themselves wrapped in the verdant peace of the Midwestern countryside, miles from any other person.

"I was pretty scared back there."

Richard looked down at Garth, his heart stuttering in his chest. "Yeah. Me, too."

"Really? Didn't seem like it. You were pretty badass." Garth opened his eyes a sliver. He sounded exhausted, and Richard didn't like it one bit.

"We both were, mate. Fending off a real-life monster...What is this? What's happening to us?"

"Damned if I know. It's pretty awesome. But..."

Richard looked toward the old farmhouse again, scanning what he could see of the gravel road. Around the weapon Aialo-El had given him, his hand was sweaty. "But what?"

"...But I wouldn't mind if this turned out to just be some weird dream."

"Yeah. Me neither."

"You think it would be epic to, like, live some sci fi adventure. When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in Star Wars."

"Of course you did. You were obsessed with—"

"I know, I know. Leia and Han. Star Wars is the ultimate bisexual awakening. People talk about The Road to El Dorado, but have they even seen Star Wars? Come on."

Richard chuckled, shaking his head.

"Now this is happening, and we pretty much almost died."

Richard grunted.

"My arm just really frickin' hurts. And I'm tired. And I just want to be home. And for all we know, home might be wrecked or shot up. Or crawling with crab people." Garth's voice had gone soft and hoarse.

Richard looked down at him. Their eyes met for a moment. He tried to muster something rational or brave to say, but he drew a blank. He took a breath and let it out in a sigh of resignation. "Yeah. It could be. Good thing I never let you get a cat. They'd have eaten it."

Garth's giggle was weak. "Well, that's a silver lining. We haven't lost a cat. But, Richard? If they wreck my Mean Girls poster, we're gonna be eating crab legs for a month."

Richard laughed until his eyes blurred with tears. Garth grinned, closing his eyes again, and they waited.