Pagkabukas ko ng pintuan ay siya kaagad nga ang bumungad sa akin. My heart throb in so much emotions, how I miss him. He looks more matured than before. And his face, expression and moves, it give something I can't name.

Naglakbay ang tingin ko sa mukha niya. His hades-black eyebrows affixed to an aesthetic face. His eyes that looking at me like how I look at him. They were lunar shaped and the gateways to his soul. Wala sa sariling napalunok ako at napaiwas ng tingin. Para akong nalulunod, at nasisilaw.

"Can I come?" He licked his lower lip as he glance at my apartment.

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi, I seemed to have lost my voice. Something stuck in my throat so I had to take a sip. I took a deep breath and eased the door open, signaling that he could enter.

I can see how his marble jaw that was rugged and masculine move, as if it was wondering to something I can't name of. I held onto my chest, calm down heart. Calm down.

He sat on the sofa, I just watched his movements. Like before, I still couldn't read what he was going to move. The expression on his face was serious, it was was not bad, nor did he look angry or any negative emotions. But seriously? I can't really read him.

Palihim nalang akong napabuntong hininga, at napaisip. Ano bang dahilan bakit ko pa siya pinatuloy dito sa loob? Aish.

"Are you okay Hazel?" Napatinag ako sa pag-iisip ng marinig ko siyang magtanong.

"Y-Yeah." Napapatangong sabi ko habang hindi makatingin sa kanya.

Hindi pa nakakahulma ang puso ko sa mga emosyong nararamdaman ko ngayong nandito na siya nang maramdaman ko ang maugat niyang kamay na bumalot sa noo ko. I automatically backed away, and his eyes widened.

Strange pain passed in his eyes at the action I took. I, on the other hand, looked down. I didn't mean to, he surprised me. I heard him took a deep breath, calming his self.

"Namumutla ka." Baritonong boses na sabi niya sa mahinang boses.

Napaangat ako ng tingin at nagtama ang mata naming dalawa. Pinagmasdan niya ang mukha ko hanggang sa mapatingin nalang siya sa kung saan. Nararamdaman ko ang bawat paghinga niya sa lapit ng pwesto namin kaya bahagya na akong humakbang paatras.

Nagtataka naman ang ekspresyon niya akong tinignan. I just looked away as he searched for an answer in my eyes. I passed him and turned my back. But before I could get to the kitchen, I asked him what he wanted to drink.

"Kumalma ka Hazel, si Louie lang 'yan!" I snapped as I touch my cheeks.

Earlier, I was hypertensive with the closeness of the two of us! Gosh! It was as if I was thirsty and hot, I seemed to be radiant in what light he had.

Inamoy ko ng bahagya ang suot kong damit. Pati ang panlalaki niyang bango ay napunta na sa suot ko. I was lightly slapped on my forehead and then just went to the refrigerator.

When I returned to the living room, I found him there looking straight ahead. His hands clasped as his legs crossed like a woman. Palihim akong napanguso, parang hindi siya 'yata bagay dito sa apartment ko. Ang laki niya ng tao ta's pormal pa ang pormahan niya.

"Here, ice coffee." Maingat kong inilagay sa mesa ang platitong maliit which is ginawa kong patungan sa tasa niya.

I sat on another single sofa, my sofas facing each other —the table was in the middle so we were face to face. I shamelessly watched his movements. I even saw him glancing at me time to time as he seep his ice coffee.

I can feel the awkwardness that prevailed to the whole apartment. Dahil kahit saan siya tumingin tingin ay sadyang bumabalik ang mga mata niya sa akin.

Palihim akong napangisi nang mawala na ang pormal niyang ekspresyon.

Panay ang lunok niya at tikhim.

Hindi rin mapirmi ang mga mata niyang naglilikot na sa kung saan para lang maiwasan ang paninitig ko.

"So.." I took a deep breath to open the conversation.

I also refrain from smiling because he looks like a lost child. He's so funny this time. I really want to laugh so hard pero mas gusto kong maramdaman niya rin ang nararamdaman ko tuwing pilit niyang tinatago ang mga susunod niyang gagawin o ang mga emosyon na pinipigilan niya.

Looks like, hindi na rin niya ako mabasa. That good thought, i need to protect myself.

He's a harm.

Hangga't wala akong natatanggap na explanation ay harmful muna ang magiging tingin ko sa kanya. A harm to be avoided, a harm that can hurt me without a doubt. He have my heart, and that's too risky.

I love him. Hindi ko hahayaang malaman niya muna 'yon sa ngayon hanga't hindi ako siguro kung may katugunan ba 'yon. Something I want to know to secure my heart.

"So?" He replied, nainip na.

Nagitla ako at pilit ginawang pormal ang ekspresyon ko. Tumingin ako sa kanya saka bumuntong hininga. What should I say? Magpasalamat ba dapat muna ako? O tanungin siya? Or baka naman dapat kamustahin ko muna siya? Kastiguhin? Ano ang itatanong ko?

I silently tsked saka lumunok.

"Ahm.." Naghahanap ng salitang sabi ko, "what are you doing here.. Attorney. Sovyl?"

He licked his lower lips as he cleared his throat. "Attorney. Sovyl huh?"

My chin lifted and I nodded at him in response. I was annoyed to see the strange smirk on his lips so I added, 'yes' dahilan para mapaubo na siya.

I winced and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at him. Why does he look so happy?! Nakakaasar 'ah! I tsked when a short chuckled form to his lips.

"May nakakatawa ba?!" Singhal ko kaagad.

Amusement written to his face, nalukot ang mukha ko saka pinagsiklop ang mga kamay. I stared at him intently, showing my irritation. But he just nodded at me and pout slightly! What the..hell!?

I didn't look away on my own. He's cute all of a sudden! Aish. "So, what is it? Why are you here in my apartment?"

"Because you're letting me in?" He answered questioningly. Suminghap ako at nagawa pa siyang ituro para sabihing, why was he philosophizing —when it just came to amazement.

Halos mapanganga pa ako dahil mukha siyang bata. Ang kulit ng ekspresyon niya! Nakatingin siya sa akin na parang nahuli siya sa kanyang kalokohan. His reddened lips were a little pouty. His eyes were dim and his eyebrows were lined with childish expressions.

Eventually, I blinked, pero sobrang panghihinayang ang naramdaman ko ng bumalik na ulit siya sa pagka-pormal. Palihim akong napanguso, ang sarap niyang kurutin sa pisnge.

"Kumain ka na ba?" He asked, I immediately turned to my watch.

It's already afternoon!

Time flows quickly, kanina ay umaga palang, naglugaw pa nga ako diba? Pero okay na din ito, kaylangang magkalaman manlang ang tiyan ko. Sabi ni Nanay Lena, tatlong araw akong nilagnat so I need to eat more foods.

"I knew it, you haven't eaten lunch yet." He nodded and suddenly stood up.

"Where are you going?" I frowned while I asking him but he probably didn't hear it because he quickly disappeared from my sight.

In a blink of an eye, he was in front of me again. Is he preparing something for me to eat? Or us? I'm not sure but the amount he prepared seems to be for the two of us.

Namamangha ko nalang siyang pinanood. Parang gamay na gamay niya na ang mga gamit ko dito. Pormal ang bawat galaw niya habang seryoso naman ang ekspresyon niya.

"A-Ang dami naman nito.." Nagugulat na sabi ko. Punong puno na ang lamesang nasa harapan ko! Kahit sabihin niyang para sa amin ito ay masyadong marami.

Mas gutom ba siya kaysa sa akin?

"Para sa'yo lahat 'yan." He said, so freaking serious.

Lumubo ang mukha ko. "Ano?!"

"Yes." Parang nagsasabi pa ng totoong sabi niya.

"Seryoso ka ba d'yan?!" Singhap ko naman.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" He even asked me!

I frowned and shook my head. "No way! That's too much."

"Yes way, Hazel." He didn't care at what I said, he didn't even look at my protest.

Para akong nanghina, napanguso ako at asar na tinignan siya ng matalim. "Ayoko!"

"H'wag matigas ang ulo." Masungit na pagkakasabi niya pa. "You will eat everything I have prepared, it contains all nutrients to regain your strength and strengthen your resistance. Or else..."

Napairap ako. "Or else what, huh?!"

He stopped pouring orange juice then addressed me. He stared at my expression and a smirk escaped his lips. Lalo namang sumama ang mukha. Parang tuwang tuwa talaga siya sa pagiging iritable ko. Bwiset.

"Or else.." Mahabang pagkakasabi niya at tinapos ang paglalagay sa baso ng juice. "Tatawagan ko si auntie at sasabihin kong pinababayaan mo ang sarili mo."

"Then, do it! I don't care 'noh!" Naka-cross arm na sabi ko naman. Akala niya magagamit niya sila mommy 'ah. Well, he's wrong!

"Really?" Parang naaliw na sambit niya naman. "You don't mind the consequences?" Nang-uudyok pa ang loko.

"What? Consequen—" Nanliit ang mga mata ko nang maalala ang laging sinasabi ni mommy ganda.

H'wag na 'wag ko raw pababayaan ang sarili ko, at ipahamak dahil kahit gustong gusto kong bumukod ay hindi na niya ako papayagan. She will control me for sure! Sila ni ate! Pagbabawalan na nila ako sa lahat ng gagawin ko, at pababantayan.

"Cut your tongue.. Stubborn lady?" He seemed even more proud.

I looked away. "F-Fine!"

"Good girl." He said as a smirk formed to his lips.

I looked at the dishes in front of me. Mukbang 'yata' toh eh, in a healthy way nga lang. I took a deep breath and ate quietly. And in just one chewed, I seemed to be salivating, w-why naman ganun? Why so delicious?! Sobra.

I turned to him. "At which restaurant did you buy them?"

He shrugged. "No, I didn't buy it."

"Huh?" Nagtatanong ang matang sabi ko naman.

"I cooked it all." Nabulunan ako sa narinig kaya dinaluhan niya ako ng tubig.

"Careful, Hazel." He hissed saka pinainom ako ng tubig. Kaagad ko namang sinunggaban 'yon.

Maya maya pa ay napaharap ako sa kanya at laking gulat ko ng nakadungaw pa din niya sa akin. Nagkabanggan ang tungki ng ilong namin at automatikong napatingin kami sa isa't isa. Pero imbis na umayos siya ay iba ang ginawa niyang aksyon. He grabbed my chin and lifted it, then lightly rubbed the edge of my lip.

"There's sauce on the side.." He almost whispered while staring at my lips.

Ang nakaawang na bibig ko ay kaagad kong isinara lalo na ng makitaan ko ng kakaibang emosyon ang mga mata niya. Napalunok ako at wala sa sariling hinawakan ang braso niya dahilan nang pagtama ng kuryente sa balat ko—No! Sa amin! Dahil pareho kaming nagitla at napalayo sa isa't isa.

For me na nangangamatis ang pisnge ay napababa ng tingin habang siya ay napatikhim lang. For the second time, I can feel the awkwardness! I closed my eyes tightly and just continued eating.

And with every meal, I enjoyed everything in the table! Because it's so damn delicious! Super. I can't even voice out a single word.

I smiled and took some more rice. I can feel his stares but I didn't mind. Bahala siya diyan, basta ako kakain.

"Pastà all sicillàna with turkey mózarella." Sagot niya matapos kong tanungin ang nasa isang dish, i think ownrecipe niya 'toh.

"Eh, itong isa?" Naitanong ko pa, pointing to what I had eaten earlier.

"Pumpkin butter tórtellini." He answered.

I was amazed and applauded. "It's delicious."

"Hmm.." He nodded as he watch me.

He even put his arm around the armrest and stared at my reactions.. silently.

"Are you sure? You really don't want to eat anymore?" I asked as I lifted a small bowl.

Umiling siya sa akin at masuyong ngumiti. "Nah, I'm good."

"Sure na sure? Uubusin ko na talaga 'tong lahat."

He chucked. "Go on, I won't mind."

"Owkiee." Natutuwang sabi ko, he's spoiling me.

Ang sarap lang sa pakiramdam.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang maging masaya lalo na't sa bawat subo ko, he would tell me things about my favorite food ot dishes he learned. I don't know where he found out but he already knows everything. Hindi ko alam kung mamangha nalang ako o ano.

Nasabi niya ring nag-aral siya ng culinary, and now. He. Is. A. Chef. Amazing right? Pinagpapatuloy pa din niya ang pag-aabogasya pero ang hindi na siya ang namamahala ng firm kung hindi si Attorney Nachez.

I don't know why, but he is now a private lawyer and he only accepts a few cases. That's good too, the lawyer's life is very harmful especially when he bumps into big families and powerful people. Thought, I don't mind but I'm worried. Well, what if mapahamak siya diba?

Kumabog bigla ang dibdib ko sa isiping 'yon, wala sa sariling napaangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. And when I looked at him, he was already looking at me. I watched how his eyes filled with joy. Hindi ko 'yata kakayanin 'yon, I am selfish kung nakahinga ako ng maluwag sa desisyon niyang 'yon? Yeah, I think I am. I'm being one, selfish.