Naramdaman ko ang paninigas niya sa ginawa ko. I leaned into his chest at lalong hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap sa kanya. Maya maya pa ay naramdaman ko ang kamay niyang humaplos sa likuran ko. His arm is already wrapped around my waist. Nanghina ang magkabilang tuhod ko, sari saring emosyon ang nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Hazel.." He called me with his baritone voice. Nagbigay 'yon ng kung anong saya sa puso ko. Nababaliw na 'yata ako. Mabanggit niya lang ang pangalan ko gamit ang bibig niya ay tila nawala ang pangamba ko.

"B-Bakit ngayon ka lang.." I couldn't help but scold him, "ang sama mo.." Parang batang sabi ko pa. "Ang t-tagal mong nagparamdam 'ah. A-Akala ko.. Nakalimutan mo na ako."

"Hazel.." Masuyong bulong niya habang pilit tinitignan ang mukha ko. I shook my head emphatically and lightly patted my head on his chest. Even though it was hard, I didn't bother. He had a simian shoulders and an Olympian's chest.

"Bad ka Attorney.. Pinaiyak mo 'ko." Basag ang boses na sumbong ko sa kanya, nasasaktan. Doon tuluyang nalaglag ang luha sa mga mata ko. My fist clenched and the coat he was wearing crumpled tightly.

Naramdaman ko ang pag-alalay niya sa akin, pinapakalma ako. Inilingan ko lang siya habang lukot na lukot ang mukha. I want to shout at him.. Tell him that I am hurting, but I c-cant. I just can't.

Maliit na bagay iniiyakan ko na 'agad, napakalaki ng epekto niya sa sistema ko. Hindi ko kaya 'yung pinaparamdam niya. A-Ayoko ng ganun.

Gusto kong sabihin 'yung nararamdaman ko. Maging tapat sa kanya at sabihing nasasaktan ako. Pero paano? Paano ko sasabihin kung wala namang k-kami?

Mahina akong natawa.

Nakaka-frustate ang ganito, nasasaktan ako pero parang wala pa rin akong karapatan. It hurts but what can I do? Ni hindi ko nga matanong kung ano nga ba kami. We really like each other, but is that really enough? I cried harder but I restrained myself. I get too emotional 'when it comes to him, bagay na hindi naman talaga ako.

"I'm sorry.." Nakatungong sabi niya habang marahang isinusuot ang sandals ko sa akin. Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi saka tinignan siya. Nakaluhod ang isa niyang tuhod habang nakaharap sa akin, nakahawak sa isang paa ko.

"I'm really sorry.. I was too hasty. Masyado akong nagpadala sa nararamdaman ko." He silently said as he looked at me. Ang mga mata niya ay puno ng suyo, pag-iingat at pagsisisi. My chest throbbed but still.. I tried to resist his gaze.

"I'm sorry, I would never do that again Hazel." Nangangakong sabi niya at hinawakan ang magkabila kong kamay.

Marahan niya itong kinulong sa kamay niya saka inangat ang isa. He looked at me as he kissed the back of my palm. Umuwang ang bibig ko at hindi nakapagsalita.

Natulala ako sa kanya dahil sa simpleng aksyon niyang 'yon ay nawala ang pagtatampo, frustation at inis sa dibdib ko. It seemed like.. He's a sun, and my feeling was ice— in an instant he melted it quickly. Hindi kapanipaniwala pero totoo.

"You are the sun that light up my life, but can be the heat that will burn my heart.. Attorney." Wala sa sariling salita ko as I looked into his eyes. I took one of my hands and gently touched his cheek. "K-Kaya sana pangalagaan mo ang nararamdaman ko.. Don't let my heart burn because of you, n-na ikaw ang dahilan."

"I can break my heart in my own way, pero h'wag lang ikaw." Nakangiti ngunit namamasa ang matang sabi ko. "Ayoko. Hindi ko kakayanin attorney.. Hindi," naiilang na sabi ko at napayuko na.

Naramdaman ko naman ang pagpatong ng kamay niya sa likuran ng palad kong nakahawak pa rin sa pisnge niya. Hinigpitan niya ang paghawak sa kanan kong kamay kaya napaharap ulit ako sa kanya.

"Hindi ko din kakayaning masaktan ka Hazel." Napapaos na boses na sabi niya sa akin, so gradually a smile came out of my lips.

"We're the same then." Natawa na siya sa sinabi ko, ganun din naman ako. Suddenly the surroundings lit up with the laughter we made, something that lightened my chest.

"Tayo ka na diyan. Mamaya mangawit ka." Nakangusong utos ko na sinunod naman niya. Pinagpagan niya ang black pants niya habang nakatingin sa kanyang oxford shoes. I smiled that ended in a grimace when I saw the entirety of what he was wearing. Naka-formal suit pa din siya, meaning galing pa siya sa firm at hindi pa din siya umuuwi.

"I haven't come home yet." Sabi niya ng makita kung paano ko siya tignan.

"At bakit hindi pa? Anong oras na attorney!"I hissed as I raised an eyebrow.

He laughed then touched me on the shoulder. "Hmm.."

I scolded him. "Are you neglecting yourself?!" 

Napakamot siya sa kilay saka nakangiwi akong tinignan. "H-Hindi 'ah."

Nanliit ang mata ko. "Nagsisinungaling ka?!"

"Ahm, slight?"

"Ang sama mo, sabi kong h'wag mong pababayan ang sarili mo pero hindi ka nakikinig. Ako nga sinununod ko ang lahat—" Natigilan ako at palihim na kinastigo ang sarili.

Siya na ngayon ang nanliliit ang matang nakatingin sa akin. "Looks like you're not listening to me either Hazel."

I sighed and then averted my eyes "H-Hindi 'ah."

He tsked. "Seriously?"

"Ahm, slight?" Maliit na boses na tanong ko pa.

He glared at me. "Are you mocking me Hazel Duro?"

Nagpa-cute ako sa kanya saka pabebeng umiling. "Parang hindi naman."

The two of us stared at each other for a few seconds. Syempre hindi ako nagpatalo kaya ang ending.. He just sighed loudly. Seemingly, giving up. I was shaken and then hung my arm around his neck. His hand automatically gripped my waist.

Tumingkayad ako at bumulong sa kanya. "Na-miss kita Louie."

I saw him parted his lips as he hide his smile. "I.. missed you too."

I couldn't help but laugh, grabbed his cheek and quickly kissed him on the lips. Napipilan siya sa ginawa ko ngunit gumalaw rin at mariin akong hinalikan. Ginalugad namin ang bibig ng isa't isa, naghalo ang aming hininga.

Napaatras ako ng bigla niyang salakayin muli ang labi ko. Napasandal ako sa sasakyan niya habang nakalagay naman ang isa niyang kamay sa gilid. He's pinning me! Hindi ko maintindihan ang kakaibang kiliting binibigay niya sa posisyon namin ngayon.

Napatingin ako sa kanya, matiim niya akong tinitignan. It's like he's staring at his prey! Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi saka sumulyap sa mga mata niya. Lalo siyang nagiging gwapo sa paningin ko. So damn perfect.

"Let's kiss again.." I even managed to grin before spoke seductivey, ".. shall we?"

"Glady baby.." He whispered as he kissed me aggressively. I responded immediately. Nag-espedahan ang mga dila namin. Tila nagkaroon ng isang labanan kung saan pareho kaming ayaw magpatalo.

Mahigpit akong napahawak sa braso niya, napahigit sa sleeves niya. Siya naman ay panay ang haplos sa bewang ko na siya namang nagbibigay ng kakaibang init sa akin. Naghalo ang mga laway namin, halos maghabol na kami sa aming hininga ngunit walang huminto. Napakapit ako sa kanya para ipahiwatig na hindi ko na kaya.

Mahina siyang natawa bago kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi ko. "Nanggigil ako sa'yo!"

Napailing ako at ngumuso. "Halata nga."

Our foreheads pressed together, we stared to each other and after a while I just found myself kissing him again. Chasing our breath, we stopped. I touched my lip, I could already feel its redness. Parang biglang nangapal.

"How's my lips?" I asked him, i thought what he would answer was what happened to my lips but no.

"Masarap." He stated, the lust is still visible in his eyes. Nagliliwanag 'yon sa pagkamangha kaya bahagya ko siyang sinipa.

"Crazy, hindi 'yon."

"Is that so?" He looks so innocent while saying that kaya pinukulan ko siya ng tingin.

"Really Louie?"

"Kidding." He chuckled as he raise his brow and said, "you look really sexy with your swollen lips Hazel."

Nanlaki ang mata ko. "Halata ba masyado!?"

Nakangiti siyang tumango. "Yes."

Umuwang ang bibig ko at tumalikod sa kanya para tumingin sa salamin ng sasakyan. Nang hindi ko makita ay hinawakan ko ang rare mirror na nasa gilid. At tama nga siya! Halatang halata! Parang namamaga pa nga! Napanguso ako saka marahang hinaplos ang labi ko. Sobrang pula, may maliit pa ngang cut sa gilid.

I sighed and turned to look at him, but the madman just smiled. It's like he's having fun! I silently tsked. He's in the mood right now huh? I gasped as I felt him hug me from behind. He tenderly kissed my neck so I laughed.

"Makiliti 'ah." I disobeyed.

He just hummed so I faced him. Still no change, what a view. His eyes were bulging, obviously drowsy. I looked at the wristwatch I was wearing and my eyes widened when I see the time! It's already 11 pm.

"Umuwi ka na attorney —Teka, bakit nga pala dito ka naghintay at hindi sa loob?" Astonished, I asked as I glance at the gate that was closed.

"Actually, I came from the university you're attending to. I would have picked you up. But then, I waited there for a few hours.." Bumuntong hininga siya, "you're still not there. So, I went straight here, pero sabi ni Auntie.. wala ka pa din daw."

"Ahh.." Mahinang bulong ko.

"Saan ka pa ba nanggaling at ginabi ka ng uwi—"

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi. "Ano kase—"

"Bakit may kasama kang lalaki—"

"Ah eh—" Natigilan ako dahil nagsalita nanaman siya.

"At nakapasan ka pa." He said, so freaking serious! The glitter in his eyes disappeared like a bubble. It was replaced by the expression he had earlier. His face was serious, his eyes narrowed as he stared at me intently. But unlike before, the darkness was no longer there.

I scratched my eyebrow saka nagbaba ng tingin, i heard him took a deep sighed. "Explain Hazel, bakit may kasama kang lalaki? At bakit kaylangang nakapasan ka pa sa kanya?"

"Wala lang naman 'yon." Nakangusong sabi ko,  showing him that it doesn't relly matter. Tumitig muna siya sa akin bago mapailing. Wala ng magawa pa.

"Fine." He whispered heavily and then kissed me on the forehead. I closed my eyes tightly and then hugged him a little. "Pero ayoko ng ganun okay?" Parang nagtatampong sabi niya pa.

"Okay!" Sang-ayon ko kaya tumango na siya, bahagyang napanatag.

Sa mga sumunod na araw ay bumalik na sa dati 'yung samahan namin ni Louie. Hindi niya na ako iniiwasan tulad ng dati which is hindi ko pa natatanong kung ano ang reason kung bakit niya ako iniiwasan. When I tried to tell him, ask his reason—he was obviously avoiding the question. I couldn't help but be curious.

Although pinapakita niya at pinaparamdam niya na ako lang talaga ay hindi ko mapigilang hindi mangamba. When I mention Lydia's name, he doesn't look me in the eye and he suddenly gets serious. Even though I was nervous, I just ignored it. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Right!

"Attorney, kamusta nga pala 'yung firm? Na-miss ko na din sila manong guard 'ah." Nangingiting sabi ko na may bahid na lungkot ang boses. I stared at the ceilings while lying on the bed.

Apart from Lydia, he doesn't let me go to the place where he is. Like in the firm, in his house and in the office. His reason is that— he wants me to focus on schools and he will just go to the place where I am. He's so sweet aren't he? Pero kahit ganun, feeling ko may hindi siya sinasabi sa akin. Bagay na hindi naman siya.

"Well, they are fine thought." He answered. I heard him remove the necktie he was wearing on the other line. Napatango naman ako at bumaling pakaliwa so I could clearly see the side door.

"By the way, how's you day?"

I sucked. "The boring of the class, we're still concentrated to the reviews."

"You need that. After all, your final exam is near." Paalala niya pa saka nagtanong. "Nag-aaral ka ba ng mabuti?"

I glanced at the study table, there were still papers, notebooks, notes, scattered because of the review I had done earlier. Hindi ko nga pala naliligpit pa. "Oo naman, kakatapos ko nga lang sa pag-review 'eh."

"That's good then, aral ka ng mabuti." Seryosong sabi niya kaya napangiti ako ng bahagya.

"Although.. I really have a hard time mastering— especially to myth tales." Nakabuntong hiningang sabi ko, "sa greek.. greek na 'yan."

"Hindi mo naman kaylangang kabisaduhin Hazel. All you need to do is to feel and gets what's the reason why that greek or tale is in mythology."

Napakamot ako sa kilay. "Sabi nga din ni prof 'eh." Kaso mahirap talaga! Aish! "Wala naman kase akong katiting na interest sa mga ganyan."

He sighed. "Then why you took the literature?"

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi. "Challenging kase 'yan."

"Seriously?"

"Well part of the reason." Kibit balikat na sabi ko, "mahilig din ako sa mga bata, they are really cute kapag curious alamin ang isang bagay."

"Well, that's true thought."

"Saka feeling ko I have the right to correct and explain to them kung may mali man silang nagawa." Mahinang sabi ko saka nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita "What do they mean by what they see with their own eyes —in the world they live in today. It's really hard thought, b'cause when they see something wrong in the world, it can stay in their minds."

I heard him hummed. "So, they should be corrected as soon as possible through my teaching, of course."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "The children.. They sometimes become dumb especially when it comes to family matters. Even if they want to ask if it is right or not. They are scared or ashamed. I want them to be vocal."

"They say, teachers are the second mother. And as their soon to be educational teacher, i want to prove that mother thing."

Natahimik siya sa sinabi ko saka nagsalita. "What good mindset baby.." Kumabog ang dibdib ko.. "Pero kung mother thing lang ang habol mo, we can make our own parenthood."

"Huh?"

"Just tell me.."

"Tell you what?"

"Ilang anak ba ang gusto mong gawin natin?" Nanlaki ang mata ko!