Pagkapasok ko sa opisina ni Louie ay kaagad na sumilay ang ngiti sa aking labi. Inilikot ko ang mga mata ko, wala pa ring pagbabago. I put my things on the sofa and then touched the button of my uniform. Magpapalit ako ng damit. I came from school and I went straight here. Nangako din kase ako k im kanya. Kitang kita ko pa ang relief sa mga mata niya sa naging desisyon ko.

"Nasaan na kaya siya?" His secretary informed me that Louie is having a important meeting with people who could help them with their current case now for the trials to be held very soon. Malapit na kase silang mapunta sa korte. Hindi na ako nagtatanong pa dahil wala naman akong alam sa mga ganung sitwasyon. Basta nandito lang ako sa kanya para suportahan siya.

Tumayo ako saka nagtungo sa desk niya. Napansin ko doon ang isang pink pen. Natigilan ako, ginagamit niya 'to? May kung anong saya at kakuntentuhan ang namuo sa dibdib ko. Ito ang pen na ibinigay ko sa kanya ng mapunta siya sa kwarto. Hindi ko alam na gagamitin niya 'to sa opisina.

Akala ko nga hindi niya ito gagamitin kase pang-babae ang kulay. Hinawakan niya kase ito nun ng makita niya sa study table ko. Sabi ko, sa kanya na lang kung gusto niya. Biniro ko lang naman, 'di ko inakalang tinotoo niya. Kaya naman pala hindi ko napapansin.

I was so bitten on the lower lip and then completely took off my uniform. Nakaramdam ako ng presensya sa likuran kaya napaharap ako. And I almost fainted when I saw Louie at the door! His mouth fell open as I lowered my gaze to my chest that was currently exposed!  Kahit na sabihin nating naka-bra ako ay kita pa din dahil hindi ko man aminin ay malulusog ang dibdib ko.

"Damn!" He turned away quickly, nakahulma na 'yata sa pagkagulat.

Ako naman ay mabilis na kinuha ang blouse ko saka sinuot ito. Ganun din ang jeans na hawak ko. Mabuti nalang at naka-cycling pa ako kaya hindi niya nakita ang bulaklak ko! Sari saring mura ang binigkas ko sa isipan ko ng magkabuhol buhol pa ang garter na nasa jeans ko.

I heard him sneeze. "Are you done?"

I quickly took off my uniform then smiled awkwardly at him. Inilagay ang uniform sa bag habang nakatingin lang sa kanya. He just shook his head, adjusted the coat and put it on the armrest.

"Sa susunod doon ka sa libabry ko magpapalit. What if someone else suddenly walks into the office and sees you like that." His face darkened slightly when he said the word 'someone else.'

I bit my lower lip so hard then nodded at him. Para siyang tatay ko at pinapagalitan ako dahil may nagawa akong ikasasakit ng ulo niya. Palihim akong napanguso, sinesermunan niya ako.

He tsked then sat down next to me. "Are you listening?"

I laughed softly. "Of course."

"That's good." Tila nakahingang sabi niya saka inayos ang sleeves na suot.

"Mukhang pagod ka 'ah." I commented uncontrollably as I watched him.

"I'm so confused.. Tired and drain."

"Ano bang nangyare?" Mahinang tanong ko.

He looked at me for a meantime and sighed. "Come.."

"Huh?"

"Lumapit ka." He order as he patted the side of his lap.

Napalunok ako saka lumapit sa kanya. Naupo ako sa isa niyang hita. Medyo napangiwi pa ako dahil baka mabigatan siya sa akin. He closed his eyes as he snake his left arm to hold me. Napaigtad ako saka napalapit lalo sa kanya. Mukhang nagpapahinga siya dahil isinandal niya pa ang kanyang batok sa pinakadulo ng sofa, sumandal.

"Louie.." I slowly whispered. Marahan niya namang iminulat ang mga mata niya.

"I'm tired.."

I bit my lower lip then slowly lowered my head and leaned on his shoulder. Naramdaman ko ang pagngiti niya kaya napangiti na rin ako. He looks so freaking exhausted. I was so worried so I let him have everything he wanted. Bawal muna ang matigas ang ulo Hazel, I silently thought.

"Galicia.."

"Y-your mom?" I asked in soft voice. He hummed and nodded.

"I love her so much, she's strict when it comes to me lalo na kung sa kalagayan ko. She always want my comport than her own. Mabuti siyang ina at mapagmahal siyang asawa. Ganun din naman si August, my dad. He's always serious but when it comes to us, he's so soft. Minsan niya lang ako mapagalitan. Lagi niya akong suportado sa mga desisyon ko. While mom, well she's always thinking what is my future is. A good one, kahit minsan ay hindi ako sang-ayon."

Mahina akong natawa. "She's controlling you?"

He hummed and nodded. "She's controlling the situation for my sake, whether I admit it or not, I was stubborn then. Maybe because I was a teenager. I want to discover and learn everything in my own. I want to make a decision for myself even if I'm not sure if what I expected will happen."

"So, what happened?" Masuyo siyang tumingin sa akin, pinaglaruan ang hibla ng buhok ko.

"She kicked me out." My eyes widened.

"W-What?"

"Yeah, I still remember what my mom's words before she kick me out." He is serious but you can see the delight in his eyes. Siya lang 'yata ang napalayas na masaya.

"Ano?"

"Kaya mo na ang sarili mo diba? So, hindi mo na kami kaylangan? Then, get out! I will freeze all your account. Don't contact us and just go back kung 'yang sinasabi mo ay nagkatotoo na." Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ng magboses babae siya. Tang ina.

"A-Ah.." I averted my eyes and then held my mouth to stop the laughter.

He tsked. "Laugh all you want Hazel, I'm not stopping you."

"S-Sabi ko nga titigil na ako." Nagkunware akong nakikinig habang nakatingin sa kanya. He took a deep sighed ang glared at me when he saw that I am just pretending.

"Continue mo na." Ungot ko habang napakapirmi na ang labi.

Hinigpitan niya ang pagkapit sa bewang ko pero kahit ganun ay mararamdaman ko doon ang pag-iingat. I took a deep breath and then stroked the buttons on his chest. The two were removed, so his massive chest was barely visible.

"When mom kicked me out, dad couldn't do anything even though he didn't agree with her decision. 'Kaya mo 'yan son.' He even whispered, saka sumunod nalang kay mom. I could do nothing but go to my cousin. Kila tita, tinawanan lang nila ako ng sabihin ko ang nangyare. Wala akong dala ni piso noon, pati cellphone kaya naglakad nalang ako." He chuckled softly. "Kung hindi nga lang ako maitsura, baka magmukha na akong gala sa kalye."

Because in what he said, it made me laugh loudly —so did he. "Seriously?"

"Hmm.."

"Oh, anong nangyare na?"

"Pansamantala akong nakituloy sa kanila. Ginawa ko din 'yung mga plano sa isip ko. I want to prove myself. Maybe the kick out situation is just an advantage so I can freely move without doubt's. So, I manipulated the situation like mom does. "

"You learned to the best huh?"

"Yes, that's true. Pero siguro nga tama sila mom, masyado pa akong bata kaya hindi pa ako nagtagumpay. Umuwi akong talunan sa kanila, I can't even show my face at them. Ang lakas kase ng loob kong magdesisyon at magsabi sa kanila na kaya ko, magagawa ko pero hindi naman pala."

Napanguso ako. "How old are you then?"

"Between 16 to 18 years old, but my dreams are big and high. I thought, it's easy because it runs into our blood. Matatalino at mahuhusay sila dad, at namana ko 'yon sa kanila. That's what I always cling to, and I imprint on my mind. But did you know what I realized?" He looked at me.

"Ano?"

"Na-realize ko na kulang ako sa experience, kulang ako sa karanasan, at sa aral na makukuha sa gagawin ko." Kumabog ang dibdib ko, my heart filled in so much unknown emotion.

He laughed softly. "During those times, I wondered why my parents didn't seem to trust me —sa gagawin ko. Inisip ko, ayaw ba nilang inaayos ko ang buhay ko? Na iniisip ko na agad 'yung future ko na kagustuhan din naman nila? How can I prove myself to them if they don't give me the slightest bit of confidence and trust in what I'm planning to."

He leaned back then looked straight up. I just watched him. I don't know but what he is saying and referring to.. seems hit me. The situation is different but the pressure is similar.

"Tayo kaseng mga kabataan, we are in too much of a hurry. We are pushing for decisions even in the wrong way. Iniisip natin na humahadlang ang mga nakakatanda sa atin, that they don't trust us. But I realized that we were wrong, hindi sa wala silang tiwala; ayaw lang nila tayong magsisi sa huli." Sa sinabi niyang 'yun ay napaawang ang bibig ko.

Naalala ko kung ano ang mga nangyare, in dad's sermons. Those  decision that I stand for, personal preference even if I no longer take their opinion. Kapag hinindian nila ako, feeling ko wala na silang tiwala sa akin. Na sasabihin ko palang ay nakaabang na sila para pigilan ako. So it all ends up in an argument, in a fight and a mess because the two sides are not fighting the same thing. Ako at si dad.

"Nang ma-realized ko ang mga nagawa ko at umuwi na sa bahay. Sinalubong ako nila mom ng masuyong yakap at ngiti. Sa tingin pa lang nila ay alam na nila ang nangyare. Mom kicked me out and controlled not to stop me. If it's to balance my life. Even though I went against her wishes, I had a lesson that I will never forget. Aral na ibinigay nila, karanasan na pinalasap nila sa akin." I marveled the pleasure in his eyes. It shone.. he seemed very proud of what had happened. Ang aliwalas ng mukha niya, mukha siyang masayang masaya

"Aren't you angry? I mean, they already know what will happen to your stubbornness but they just let you go."

"No, why would I? That's what I want, I just have to stand up. May natutunan din ako doon kaya hindi na rin ako talo," he show his bright smile. "Learnings is better than memorizing, primary is better than secondary, experiences is best than everything."

Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi. "In every story there are lessons. Happy ending or tragic? Success or not. Most important of all..is we learned."

We both fell silent. That silence was enough for the two of us to sleep peacefully.  Nagising ako dahil sa pangangawit ng batok ko. Dahan dahan akong nag-angat ng tingin sa lalaking nakayakap na halos sa akin.

"Louie.." He is sleeping peacefully. Nakapikit ang mga mata niya habang nakasandal. Sa tangos ng ilong niya ay naging perpekto ang anggulo na aking tinitignan.

Napangiti ako saka marahang hinawakan ang kamay niya at tinanggal ito sa pagkapit sa akin. Inihiga ko siya sa sofa na kinauupuan namin kanina. Saka ko inayos ang ulunan niya para hindi siya mangawit. I took a deep breath then turned down the aircon. There was no comforter or blanket to relieve the cold in case he got cold.

I glanced at my wristwatch. "It's already 3 in the afternoon."

I left him there and went out. I saw his employee, they were busy so no one noticed me. I'll buy food, just in case Louie wakes up— he won't go hungry. Masaya ako sa kung ano man ang nangyare kanina. We share are opinions and realizing in our own life before we met.

Nakakagaan sa loob ang ganung simpleng usapan. Wondrous and heartwarming. My heart was filled with living emotions, it calmed down and it seemed to have a direction... towards him. I smiled sweetly as I carried the food I had bought.

I was about to cross when a black car pulled up beside me. Napaatras ako at nangunot ang noo. Gumalaw naman ito sa harapan ko na tila sa akin nga ang pakay. I waited for the windshield to open, and I almost gasped to see the person who in the passenger sea. Nang magtama ang mata naming dalawa ay nagtagis kaagad ang bagang ko habang isang masuyong tingin ang ibinigay niya saka binanggit ang pangalang lagi niyang itinatawag sa akin.

"Haze.."