Natigilan ako sa akmang pagpasok sa kwarto ni ate ng marinig ko ang pag-uusap nila ni mom. I stopped turning the doorknob then peeked at them.

"Did you see her eyes? I can say that she's back mom." I heard ate said, the smile remain in her lips. Nakita ko naman ang paggilid ni mom. Hinaplos ang buhok ni ate saka masuyo itong nginitian.

"Tama ka anak, it's good thing right?"

"Of course mom, alam kong isa rin ang sinasabi mong attorney ang dahilan kung bakit ganun nalang siya kung makangiti kahapon."

Tumango si mom, natutuwa. "Gusto ko siya para sa kapatid mo. Louie is a good man, unlike her ex."

Sumama ang mukha ni ate ng marinig ang word na 'ex' kaya natawa si mom. "You're mad at him too?"

"I don't know, but I don't want to see his face! I don't care who he is. He's an asshole for hurting my sister mom. Kahit noon pa man ay alam kong may relasyon na silang dalawa. I can't stop Hazel for falling in love with him. It's her feelings after all. Hindi ako nagsumbong kay dad 'nun dahil nakikita kong napapasaya niya ang kapatid ko. Kahit hindi ko sabihin, I love my sister so much. Nagsinungaling ako kay dad para pagtakpan siya, sila. Pero napakagago ng lalaking 'yun. Siya ang dahilan kaya hanggang ngayon nasasaktan ang kapatid ko."

"Hazel is always watching sunset because she think that she can escape for a meantime. That she can end everything for a little bit of time. Her pain, her suffering, her regrets—everything. Alam na alam ko 'yun mom. Kaya nga lagi ko siyang inaasar. I want her to stop watching sunset. I don't want to see her down again mom. Ayaw kong nakikitang napapagod ang mga mata niya. I want her to realize na hindi lang kapaguran ang dahilan ng lahat. Na hindi porke nasaktan siya at napagod ay maghahangad na siya ng katapusan."

I swallowed and slowly backed away from the door. I hurried into my room. Sit on the bed and look at the emptiness. I gasped for breath. Ate love me so much huh? She observe me too well. Habang iniisip ko ang sinabi ko sa kanya noon, kapakanan niya lang pala ang iniisip ko.

I was caught in my chest. It hurts me to think that she’s doing her best to get rid of the pain I am feeling—For me to accept everything. While me, I have taken no action. If I want to move forward in my life, I should move on. Na nakalimutan ko 'yatang gawin.

I close my eyes emphatically. I'm still immature huh? I'm not that mature after all. I stood up then took a deep breath. I called Louie earlier, I said I was going to his firm. He agreed immediately.

Pagkababa ko ay nagpaalam na ako sa kanila. Hinalikan ko sa pisnge si mom habang nakipag-beso naman ako kay ate. Napailing ako ng mag-inarte pa siya. Kumaway ako bilang paalam. Nakasuot ako ngayon ng maxi dress that above the knee. Paired of my black sandals na hindi naman ganun kalaki ang takong.

Walang manggas ang dress ko kaya malayang nakalitaw ang mga braso ko. My white shoulder bag slung over my left shoulder. it contained my cellphone, lip bulb, handkerchief, and wallet. I'm not really fond of make-ups so my bag is a little bit empty.

"Thank you!" I said cheerfully and picked up the box containing the caramel cake. It's Louie's favorite cake. Tuwing kumakain kami, minsan lang siyang kumain ng desserts at kadalasan ay caramel cake pa.

"Hii manong guard!"

"Ma'am Hazel!" He almost exclaimed. Natawa ako ng mahina, nagulat ko 'yata.

"Dahan dahan sa pagkakape kuyang guard." Napakamot siya sa batok at napailing sa akin.

Nagpaalam ako sa kanya bago pumasok. Magiliw kong binati ang mga nakakasalubong ko. My eyes searched for Louie but I could not find him. I asked someone, his secretary. He said that Louie's team was talking in the conference room—with one of their most important guest.

I just shrugged and entered his office. I laid the cake on the table and then sat on the sofa. It looks like the guest they're talking about is the one Louie admires in the field of law. I smiled remembering how happy he was when he accepted his offer.

Dalawang oras din ang itinagal niya kaya binuksan ko na ang cake. Binigyan ko 'yung secretary niya at nagpasalamat naman ito. He even asked me how our relationship, but i just chuckled. Were fine and happy that what I answered. I can't name our level, MU I think? Whatever is it, it's depends on us. Just go to the flow.

Inihiwa ko ang cake na nasa platito ko saka sumubo ng biglang bumukas ang pintuan. Bumungad sa akin si attorney. I waved at him so his gaze went to my place. He easily sat down in my seat. 'Agad ko namang isinubo sa kanya ang cake na nasa tinidor ko. Stunned, he gaped and accepted the cake.

"How's the meeting?" I asked.

"Fine, sorry kung pinaghintay kita ng ilang oras." He said.

Mahina akong natawa. "Ayos lang attorney, I'm enjoying my cake here with your secretary kaso ang bilis niyang kumain."

I heard him tsked kaya napalingon ako sa kanya. Masama ang mukha niya habang salubong ang kilay, nakatingin sa box ng cake na nasa harapan namin. Sumulyap siya sa akin at suplado akong inirapan! My mouth dropped open, what's going on with him?

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"Huh? Ano bang nangyare?"

"Dapat ako ang una mong kasabay sa pagkain ng cake at hindi ang secretary ko." He tsked.

"W-What?" Hindi ko alam kung magugulat ba ako o matatawa sa reaksyon niya.

He looked at me seriously. "And you really enjoyed it huh? You'd rather have him eat the cake with you? Kaya naman pala.. you're not bored here, you're enjoying it with him—"

I kissed him to make him shut up. Maybe this is how fatigue affects him. I shook my head and hugged his arm. Naramdaman ko naman ang paglapit niya ng katawan ko sa kanya. Ipinulupot ang braso sa bewang ko, ako naman at napayakap na ng tuluyan sa bewang niya.

"Gutom lang 'yan attorney, kumain ka na ba?" Natatawang sabi ko.

"No."

"Kaya naman pala, it's already 10 in the morning." I tsked.

He sighed and kissed me in the forehead. he mumbled ‘I forgot the time’. I shook my head and just nodded. I gave him a cake which he accepted. Sinabi ko sa kanya na binili ko ang cake para sa kanya kaya lalong sumama ang mukha niya. Dapat daw pinatigil niya muna ang meeting para nasaluhan niya ako at nauna siya sa secretary niya.

"Nagseselos ka talaga?"

"Yes." Nabubugnot na sabi niya pa.

"Nagsabay lang naman kami 'ah."

"Kahit pa." Giit niya.

Napailing ako saka naglalambing na humilig sa kanyang dibdib. "Ang cute mo."

"I'm a man, a man can't be cute Hazel."

"For them, pero sa aming mga babae. Cute kayo kapag nagseselos."

He just tsked then hugged me tightly. He's clingy today, what really happened? He wasn't like this before or maybe he just missed me so much. I laughed as he barely moved my waistline. I gasp as he tickled me. I hissed at him.

"Attorney!"

"What?" He asked innocently, as if nothing had been done.

Sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin. "Hindi bagay sa'yo."

He chuckled. "Really?"

"Oo, by the way. Nandito raw 'yung lawyer na hinahangaan mo? Where is him?" Naitanong ko. Nangunot ang noo niya at napatango. Inayos niya ang nagulo kong buhok saka tinignan ang mukha ko. Nginitian ko lang siya, ang gwapo niya.

"Well, he's fetching his wife. Mrs. Tuazon."

"T-Tuazon?"

Tinignan niya ako. "Yeah, wife of Attorney Mark Tuazon."

Nanlaki ang mata ko, napaiwas ng tingin. Mahina akong natawa. Ang liit talaga ng mundo. Palihim na napakuyom ang kamao ko saka pilit nalang siyang nginitian. Mukhang hinahangaan niya talaga siya, ang lalaking kinamumuhian ko at ng pamilya ko.

"What's in your reaction? You know him?" He asked, eyes narrowing.

I bowed slowy, and shook my head. "No."

I know that it's wrong to lied but that's the only way for him not to ask any more questions. I sighed and then drank some water. The cake looks bitter. I heard him sigh as i saw i finished all the cake. Stress. Damn it. I eat too much. Masama 'toh.

"Are you okay?'

"Yeah." Mahinang bulong ko.

Napatingin ako sa kanya ng bigla siyang tumayo. "I'll just take this call."

"Hmm.."

I leaned back in my seat. I still want to eat some food but I'm holding back. I closed my eyes. I'm a shame, guilt is eating me. I dismissed those thoughts but I did not succeed.

'Nakakahiya ka! Hindi kita anak!' 'Tinatakwil na kita mula sa araw na ito!' 'Wala akong anak na tulad mo!' 'You deserve this!' 'You're not my daughter, si Hershey nalang ang anak ko!' 'Kung talagang anak kita—susundin mo ang mga sinasabi ko!' 'Wala ka ng ginawang tama!'  'Bakit ba kase hindi ka gumaya sa kapatid mo?!' My heart stopped beating. I clenched my fist and then took a deep breath. Those hurtful words from dad...His anger. Darn it.

I opened my eyes, I found Louie still talking on his phone. Naghanap ako ng makakain. Gusto kong kumain ng kumain. Mabuti nalang at may prutas sa lamesa. Mabilis kong kinuha ang tatlong mansanas saka kinagat ang isa. Napakuyom ang kamao ko ng maalala ang sinabi pa ni dad. Parang sasabog ang utak ko sa pag-iisip. Hanggang sa hindi ko namalayang naubos ko na ang tatlong mansanas.

"Damn, damn it." Itinapon ko sa trash can ang mga buto saka napahawak sa tiyan ko.

"Hazel, are you okay?" Napatingin ako kay attorney, kasalukuyan siyang papalapit sa akin.

Tipid lamang akong ngumiti. "Y-yeah."

"Are you sure? You looked.. drain, did you do something?"

"Nothing." He was silent at the brevity of my answer.

I sat on the sofa and just ignored him. I forced myself to discard the food when I saw the fruits again. I'm frustrated, I want to eat but I can't! Ang dami ko ng kinain! I fucking stress! I hate this.

"Hazel. Are you really okay?"

"Y-Yeah, nagugutom ako."

"W-What? Did you eat those fruits too?"

Napatango ako. I heard him curse under his breath. "Is your BED is attacking?"

"I-I think so, I felt stress.."

"Stress?" Batid ko na naguguluhan siya ngunit hindi na ako nagsalita pa.

Naramdaman ko naman ang pagyakap niya sa akin. Hindi ko namalayang nanginginig na pala ang mga kamay ko. I hugged him for a few minutes until I calmed down. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyare pero ramdam ko ang kaligtasan sa bisig niya. I was gripped tightly by his arm, doon kumukuha ng lakas.

"Are you really okay?" He softly asked as he gently caress my hands.

Ngumiti ako saka ibinaba ang baso na naglalaman ng tubig. "S-Salamat."

"I-I think I am just over thinking." Mahinang bulong ko. Hindi man kumbinsido ay tumango siya.

"Pinag-alala mo ako." Narinig kong sabi niya. Seryoso ang mukha ngunit kita ang pag-aalala sa mata.

Huminga ako ng malalim. "Sorry."

Marahan niyang hinawakan ang pisnge ko at hinarap sa kanya. Nagtama ang mata naming dalawa. I could almost read my own eyes in his eyes. I can see my reflection there. Bumalik nanaman ang mata kong tilad pagod na pagod na. Napapikit ako at pilit tinanggal 'yun. Niyakap ko si attorney. Naramdaman ko kaagad ang pagyakap niya pabalik. He kissed the head of my hair while caressing my back. It calms me down.

"I don't even know what happened to you, but I'm just here. You can tell me everything, you can always lean on me. I'm just here.. I'm just here." He whispered.

"T-Thank you.." I don't know but from what he said, it seems that my chest has lost a little weight.

I want to move forward, to move on in the past. But how? Bakit ba kung kaylan nagdesisyon na akong mag-move on ay nangyare pa 'to? Ito na ba ang simula para pakawalan ko na ang nakaraan? Magpatawad at harapin ang mga nangyare? Mark Tuazon, he's the man of my life back then. Akala ko hindi niya ako lolokohin, akala ko hindi niya ako sasaktan but how wrong I was. He's the reason why my life is broken and mess. Ginulo niya lahat.