Ugh, I wanted this chapter to be longer but oh whale xD Enjoy<3

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Chapter 30 – Harry’s P.O.V.

            Chewing my bottom lip furiously, I tugged off my shirt as we reached the sand. After Valerie stuck into her house for a bathing suit, I’ve been dreading the point where she takes her tank top and shorts off. I know people are going to stare, and I know I’ll be one of those people. I mean, I got her to practically go skinny dipping with me (not really), so I know exactly how that perfect damn body of hers looks. Even with the scars on her wrists, she’s beautiful.

            I plopped down onto one of the towels, pulling my knees up and resting my forearms on my elbows. I guess the whole “group beach day” thing is just to show the cameras that Valerie really is “dating” Niall, and that the rest of us are fine with it. Whale (yes, I just used Valerie’s word), this guy isn’t fine with it. Nor am I okay with it in the slightest. It might be fake, but it doesn’t take much to start falling for those golden brown eyes of hers. I found myself falling the second I laid eyes on her; hard to believe, but it’s the solid damn truth.

            Eleanor came to the beach with us as well, since she’s already in town. Louis and Eleanor took no time in skittering off into the water, pretending to drown each other and such. I wish Valerie and I could be doing that right now. I wish I could splash her just to her that angelic laugh of hers, then she’d splash me back and it would turn into a war, ending with me wrapping my arms around her petite waist and locking our lips.

            If only…

            Valerie was sheepishly sitting on the cooler, her lip between her teeth as she made no effort in stripping down to her bikini. I know why too; her insecurity. I know her well enough to know that she isn’t comfortable with her body, and being around her idols isn’t helping her. I want to walk over, to lift her chin up and tell her just how beautiful she is, but I can’t. Not with cameras nearly ten feet away already snapping pictures. I clenched my fists in fury.

            “They want us to get in the water,” Niall murmured as he read from his phone, sending me an apologetic look. That’s why you love Niall; he cares about people’s feelings. All of my mate’s do, so I can’t be mad at Niall. Besides, he didn’t ask for this and I got us into this shit. So, doing the best I could, I mustered up a fake smile and sent it back to him.

            “Oh, um… okay,” Valerie whispered before sucking in a sharp breath. She’s so damn insecure for no reason, I wish I could tell her that.

            I couldn’t stop my eyes from watching her as she pulled the tank top over her head, then shimmied out of her denim shorts. My breath hitched in my throat as she literally took my breath away in her hot pink and strapless bikini. Zayn cleared his throat as he looked away, obviously thinking the same as me, but Zayn respected Perrie enough to keep his eyes to himself. I gave him major props for that; not looking at Valerie is damn near impossible.

            Liam did the same as Zayn before Niall choked out, “You… you ready?”

            My hands balled into tight fists as my jaw tensed, and I forced my eyes away from them as soon as I saw him reach his hand out to her. I know this is all an act, but I can’t help the hurt that’s bubbling inside me. I can’t help that envy running through my veins at the sight of Niall and Valerie’s hands locked together. I know this is fake, I just don’t believe it. It’d be too easy for Niall to make Valerie putty in his hands. Valerie promised she’d never leave me, and Niall is my best friend, for God’s sake. But with Valerie’s extreme liking towards all of us, there’s still part of my subconscious that worries about the possibility of him snagging her. I know he’d never do that to me, but I can’t help the itch I feel every time he looks at her.

            “Fuck,” I groaned as I heaved a hand through my hair, my eyes dropping to the towel beneath me.

            “I’m sorry, lad,” Zayn said as he patted my back.

            “It’s not your fault. It’s always mine, somehow,” I grumbled before laying back, draping my arm across my eyes to cover the sun. “Everything I fucking do seems to be against the rules with management.”

            “It’s just because media looks at you the most, Harry,” Liam said. “They always have their eyes on you, so it makes you an easy target.”

            “Whale, I’m fucking sick of it.”

            “Whale?” Zayn questioned, slight amusement lacing his tone as he let out a slight chuckle.

            My cheeks flushed in embarrassment. “Erm, yeah… Valerie says that and I guess it just kind of grew on me…”

            Liam laughed. “Leave it to Valerie to say something adorable yet weird all the same.”

            I laughed, a smile taking over my face as I thought about it. Valerie truly was like none other, and that only made me want her more. Her rambling, her smile, her laugh; every single bit of her, I wanted. She was just this irresistible character, and every day I find myself wondering how it’s possible to be drawn to someone so quickly. It’s nearly been two weeks, but so much has happened in that little time. I want Valerie, before, after, and during the tour. I want to be able to call her without management shoving Kendall down my throat. I want to be able to tell the whole damn world she’s my girlfriend, but none of that will ever be possible. It all seems too good to be true.

            My eyes trailed over to the two couples in the water. They were having a chicken fight, Valerie on Niall’s shoulders and Eleanor of Louis’. My heart clenched as Niall’s hands wrapped around Valerie’s calves, a large smile on his face as him and Louis faced off with their partners. Valerie was laughing, that adorable damn laugh of hers that I can’t get enough of. She and Eleanor fought before Valerie finally managed to flip her off. Louis scolded them for cheating in his playful tone, Eleanor coming up and laughing her head off before giving Valerie a hug. They could be mistaken for a true couple, and that’s what worries me. It worries me a lot.

            I know it was highly stupid of me to even ask Valerie out, but I just wanted to know for sure that she really wanted to be with me. Aside from me being the Harry Styles. Aside from my talent, money, and fame. I wanted to see if Valerie wanted to be with me. The real me that isn’t in front of the cameras. As soon as Valerie said yes, that twinkle of hope sparkled in her eyes and I knew she meant it. I knew she meant with me and not the extraordinary Harry. I knew she liked me for who I was, and that alone was enough to make my day.

            I’ve never told anyone about what happened with Gemma all those years ago. Valerie was the first, and probably the last. I don’t even know why I called her right after. I just sort of panicked, but I knew she would listen to me nonetheless. It warmed my heart when she came for me, even when she was with Niall. She proved to me that she does really care. That made me fall even harder for her.

            “Hey… lads…?” I trailed off as I scratched the back of my neck, propping myself up on my elbows.

            Zayn and Liam looked over at me.

            I averted my gaze to the sky. “Do you… do you think I’ll ever see Valerie again? Do you think I’ll actually get to be with her?” I asked, feeling utterly stupid and feeling like a lovesick puppy, but I had to know. I needed someone else’s opinion.

            Liam smiled, his chocolate brown eyes glistening. “Of course, lad. If you really care about that girl, you’ll come back for her, won’t you?”

            “Of course I will,” I said without any hesitance.

            “Then what are you worried about?” Zayn questioned as his eyebrows furrowed.

            My heart leapt to my throat, fear twirling in the pit of my stomach. I merely shrugged. “I… I don’t know… I feel like maybe she’ll just forget any of this even happened… I feel like… I feel like she’ll just move on… I don’t want her too,” I said quietly, my own eyebrows etching together as I pondered on all the negative outcomes.

            “Mate, this is Valerie we’re talking about,” Zayn said as he patted my shoulder. “You know for damned sure that that girl won’t forget about you. About us.”

            I gave him a faint smile, shrugging slightly. “I guess you’re right.”

            “This isn’t permanent, Harry,” Liam reminded me with his genuine grin. “You and Valerie will have your chance soon enough.”

            I let out a sigh as I laid back down on my back, closing my eyes. “I sure hope you’re right.”

***

            “Harry, you can’t keep ignoring her,” Valerie argued as she sat cross-legged on my bed.

            “I’m not answering it, Valerie,” I said sternly as I shook my head. “She doesn’t want to talk to me.”

            “She clearly does if she’s calling you.”

            “No, she wants me to apologize for what I did. I’m not apologizing when I have no reason too.”

            “Harry, you’re being extremely stubborn,” Valerie groaned as she sat back on the bed. “Don’t you want your relationship back with your sister?”

            My face fell slightly as I looked away from her. “Of course I do,” I murmured. “But I know she doesn’t want me back in her life.”

            My phone rang for the sixth time since we got back to the hotel. My eyes snapped to Valerie, but she was already jumping over the bed to reach for it on the nightstand. My heart sank, my anger bubbling slightly inside me as I reached out, slapping my phone from her hands.

            “Harry!” she scolded, her eyes boring into mine.

            “I don’t want to talk to her, Valerie! I already told you!” I yelled, my hands curling into fists down by my sides as one fist slammed onto the nightstand.

            Valerie flinched away at my violent action, her eyes widening slightly as she pursed her lips. Realizing she was scared, my face instantly softened as I raked a nervous hand through my hair, letting it run over my face.

            “I’m sorry,” I said softly, not daring to look at her. I don’t want her to be terrified of me. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, I just…” I trailed off, unsure of what to say. I don’t want to talk to Gemma. I know she just wants an apology, and I’m not giving it to her.

            “Its fine,” Valerie whispered before sliding off my bed. “Maybe I should just go so you have time to cool down.”

            My heart sank to my feet as I looked up at her. “Please don’t go.”

            “I think it would be better if I slept out on the couch or something,” Valerie mumbled, reaching for the handle, but I stopped her by placing my hand over hers.

            “Please don’t leave, Valerie. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” I’m usually not one to beg, but I don’t want her to leave me in this room by myself. I asked her to stay with me again for a reason; to have her by my side.

            “People don’t mean to do a lot of things, Harry,” Valerie muttered as her hands went to my hand covering hers. I knew by the fear that flickered through her eyes, that she meant me slamming my fist on the nightstand.

            “Valerie…” I choked out, squeezing my eyes closed as I shook my head. “I’d never hurt you.”

            “I just don’t like yelling, Harry, so when you kind of snapped at me, it made me a little uncomfortable. I don’t like confrontation,” she told me as her eyes met mine.

            “I know, love. I’m sorry, okay? I won’t do it again, just please… don’t leave me,” I whispered, my lips barely moving with the words as I focused on hers.

            “Why do you want me to stay so bad?” Valerie asked as she turned to face me, her hand slipping out from beneath mine.

            My cheeks flushed slightly as I merely shrugged, looking away from her. “I like you staying with me. It makes me feel peaceful, I guess, when you’re in my presence. I don’t have time to overthink things when I’m with you. I don’t have time to get angry…”

            Valerie stared at me a long time, her lips parting before she gave me a weak smile. “You know… I’d never thought I’d hear those words be directed towards me coming from your lips.”

            I chuckled slightly, shaking my head as I rolled my eyes. “Well, I said it… stop making me embarrassed about it.”

            Valerie giggled before biting her lip. “All right, but on one condition.”

            I frowned, clearly not liking where this was heading. “What’s that?”

            “You have to let me sleep in one of your t-shirts,” she said, this time her cheeks heating up as she looked away from me.

            I grinned, probably the most idiotic grin I could’ve managed. “That’s it? I thought you were going to make me call Gemma back…” I trailed off.

            Valerie shook her head. “I get you don’t want to talk to her, so I won’t force you… I just think it’d be nice if you two worked out your problems.”

            I sighed, not answering her as I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a black t-shirt. I’d like to work out mine and Gemma’s issues as well, but I know those aren’t Gemma’s intentions. She’s always been one that needs an apology before she can move on with her life, and I’m not apologizing for protecting her. That’s downright stupid and pointless. I was keeping her safe and she got pissed at me. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s her.

            Valerie smiled as I handed her my shirt, then she scampered into the bathroom and swapped into it and some fuzzy pajama pants. I flipped on the television as she curled next to me under the covers, her head falling to my chest. My fingers naturally weaved through her soft hair, almost as if we’ve been doing this for years.

            Within minutes, Valerie was sound asleep in my arms.