Can we just stop and talk about Adam? My child, he is so adorable. His dad jokes, his love for a simple crib, and the fact that he was amazed by a unique font.

I love Adam so much he is adorable and I need him to always be in my life.

So just take a crack chapter about Adam. I love Adam.

Barbara: Wait no you can't just-

BJ: EH!

Barbara: No, I'm seri-

BJ: MINE!

Barbara: YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE MY HUSB-

BJ: HE'S SEXY AND HE'S MINE!

Barbara: Adam do something!

Adam, crying: Your both lovely candidates, but I just don't know who to give my last rose too.

Barbara: Rose? Adam this isn't the Bachelor!

BJ: I've always wanted to be on the Bachelor!

Barbara: WE'RE NOT ON THE BACHELOR!

Adam: Barbara, I think you need to calm down. Whoever gets the rose has won fair and square.

Barbara: I'M YOUR W I F E

Adam: Barbara you're making this more difficult than it needs to be.

BJ: Yeah, Barbara.

Adam: Shut up.

BJ: Sorry.

Barbara: I'm just saying, we had a ten year plan! You can't pretend like our relationship is the Bachelor!

Adam: I just think I need a minute alone to think about who gets the Rose.

Barbara: If I don't get the Rose I'm divorcing you.

Adam: ;o;

BJ: You can't divorce a GHOST.

Adam: She can't?

Barbara: I can't?

BJ: You can only...GHOST them!

Adam:

Barbara:

Adam:

Barbara:

Adam:

Barbara: Well that was terrible-

Adam: He gets the Rose.

Barbara: WHAT!? ADAM!

BJ: Goes to show, if you wanna stick your dick in someone. Dad jokes are a reliable option.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idk wot this turned into. Help.

BONUS:

Adam: Spell your name.

BJ: B..E...E-

Adam: No.

BJ: Uh- Uhm..B..E..T?

Adam: Mhm.

BJ: E..L..um..UH.

Adam: Take your time.

~~~~~~~~~

Apparently his name is spelled Betelgeuse. But he can't spell so-

BEETLEJUICE IT IS.