Not really much of a crack chapter but more of a ya know, scenario? It's funny like a crack chapter but will be written as a real chapter. It gets pretty mushy at the end lol, but enjoy!

"Thanks for agreeing to come guys, my mom's really glad your here, she's into these kind of things. Ever since the...incident...with the old church she's been devestated about having to find a new one." Ben explained while fixing the buttons on his shirt. Eddie, Bill, Richie, Bev and Mike had all come to join Ben at his first day at the new church. All besides Stanley of course, he was Jewish, church isn't really their thing.

"It was more of being forced by my Dad. He was busy, so he just dumped me onto your parents." Richie mumbled, a tad aggravated with his Dad.

"Well, we're still glad you came!" Ben flashed him a smile, Eddie currently had his hands full of anti-bacterial sanizter, he was having a small freak out.

"That's great and all but, I need to know everything about the condition of the church. Besides school, you know I don't like going into any kind of public spaces! Think of the diseases, think of the germs! You know you could get herpes from touhcing one single thing? HER. PES. I don't want herpes, Ben. This one time, I heard a kid had to get his entire tongue cut off because he licked a disease filled pole in the winter. That's why I always advise you guys to NEVER lick frozen poles, you could die....Oh my god! If that church isn't clean! I COULD DIE!" Eddie yelled, he then began sucking the life out of his inhaler. Each of The Losers gave him a concerned look, staring at each other and then back at him.

"You need to chill out, Spaghetti. I am 99% sure you're not getting herpes, nor are you dying." Richie said, giving him a pat on the back.

"WHAT ABOUT THE ONE PERCENT!?"

"I don't know, not a big deal to me."

"NOT. HELPING."

"Listen Eddie, even if the Church wasn't clean, I'm very sure you'll be okay. We've done a lot of gross shit and you came out completely okay." Bev reassured him, shifting the straps on her dress. It was pretty uncomfortable for her, as they all know Bev isn't really the kind of girl to wear a dress unless she needs to.

"Well I came out, a complete dissapointment! Am I right, guys!?" Richie held out his hand infront of Bill, waiting for a high five. Bill didn't even raise his hand, he just gave him a look.

"Y-Yes, you're very ri-right." Bill said blandly, looking down to adjust his tie.

"Yup!" Ben chirped

"That's correct." Mike mumbled

"Right-o, Rich." Bev chuckled

"Couldn't agree with you more." Eddie rolled his eyes.

"Okay guys, now you're just being rude. Everyone's favorite Trashmouth isn't just a dissapointment, he's useless." Richie smirked, very proud of himself. Even though he isn't useless, nor a dissapointment. But hey, if he's happy!

Mrs. Hanscom then entered the room, asking if they were all ready to leave, once they answered with a sincere yes they left for the day. The drive for Church was pretty boring, they all chatted about random things like usual. Bev talked to Mike, Ben and Bill, Richie tormented Eddie, you know, the norm! The Losers entered the Church with shocked expressions on their faces, this was some high maintenance shit!

"Oh. My. God!" Eddie gasped "Everything's so clean, everything's specifically placed in order! I mean, they could've placed the books in alphabetical order, but color coding is pretty good I guess."

"I'm glad your OCD is having an orgasm." Richie let out a laugh.

"I can't even get mad enough to tell you to shut the fuck up."

"I didn't think Derry was able to pull out enough money to pay for something like this. It's amazing!" Bev exclaimed, placing her hands on Ben's shoulders "How did your mom find something like this?" Bev questioned, but Ben just shrugged. He was just as shocked as they were, he didn't even know something like this could exist in Derry.

"I have no idea, this better than I expected!" Ben smiled, Bill nodded in agreement.

"I-I'm sure it's b-be-better than we all ex-expected."

"I don't think I've ever been inside a place so nice. I don't think I've ever been inside a place that was even close to being as nice as this." Mike let out a small laugh, he was also suprised he wasn't getting any dirty looks. Could these people AND place really be that good without a catch?

"Come on kids, let's take our seats." Mrs. Hanscom stated, motioning towards the inside of the room. Once all the seats were taken, they were ready to start. As soon as a man in a high-priced looking suit stepped up to the stage it was completely quiet. The man seemed to be searching for a certain spot in his book, once he found it a smile appeared on his face.

"Thank you for coming everyone! For you new comers I don't recognize, my name is Pastor Steve. It is so great to have you here with us, we're sure to make you feel welcome. Today we have a new topic to talk about!" There was a pause. Pastor Steve looked down at his book and cleared his throat.

"The Homos."

Eddie froze.

Oh shit. The rest of The Losers thought in unison, all of their eyes darted to Eddie. That was when they knew for a fact that this wasn't going to end well.

"I guess that's the catch.." Mike mumbled.

"We don't need to hurt them, or yell at them! That's wrong, violence is never the answer. That's not what these folks deserve."

Oh, maybe this isn't what they think. The tensed Losers were tense no more.

"They deserve to know that there's a better way!"

Nevermind, they were tense once again.

"Being a homosexual goes against God's will! And if God's unhappy, everyone's unhappy. They need to know that there's a better way than what they're resorting to. A man shall not lay with another man, but God doesn't hate them. He's just dissapointed in them, and he wants his children to stop sinning and do better!" Pastor Steven announced, a few people in the crowd said a few amens while smiling. Richie then placed a hand on Eddie's arm.

"How you holding up?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes."

"..Okay."

"Now in this Church we like to share or feelings. Comfort each other. Have conversations! Who would like to come up and share their story relating to the Homosexuals?" Pastor Steven questioned? Eddie immediately raised his hand, a huge smile on his face. The Losers were worried, extremely worried.

"You young man, over there! Come on up-" Pastor Steve smiled, only to be cut off by Bill.

"N-No, he do-doesn't really-"

"Bill. I got this." Eddie still had a giant smile plastered on his face. It was getting sort of creepy. Eddie had made it to the stage, after he did he and Pastor Steve shared a look. Pastor Steve stepped aside, leaving it all to Eddie.

"My name is Edward Kaspbrak, and you know, I used to think I liked guys. It was a really weird time in my life, but you know what I realized? I don't like guys!" Eddie paused, the smile on his face soon dissapeared. He looked up at the crowd, a face full of rage and anger.

"I FUCKING LOOOVE GUYS! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT THAT ASSHATS!" Gasps filled the crowd, The Losers Club couldn't help but freak out a little bit. Besides, Bev. She was trying not to laugh her ass off. She may have or may have not pulled out a camera and started filming.

"I did once believe that since almost everyone in this goddamn town was homophobic, something must be wrong with being gay! NO. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. You all are just dumbasses that can't handle people being different! But of course it took me years to realize that! I spent years thinking there was something wrong with me because I fell in love with a fucking TRASHMOUTH!" Eddie shouted, pointing towards the Trashmouth himself. But froze immediately after saying that. He saw the look on Richie's face, shocked yet it looked like he was about to laugh.

"Aw, god fucking dammit." He then felt a hand on his shoulder, Pastor Steve.

"Young man, I think you need to leave." Eddie pushed him off, screaming in his face.

"NO! I might've said that, but it's not like I'm gonna say: Let's take our shirts off and kiss! Like you probably do to your ugly ass hillbilly of a wife! If I'm disgusting, so are you! STRAIGHT. PEOPLE. DO. ANAL!" Eddie couldn't stop, he couldn't. It was like word vomit, it all spilled out non-stop. It was a couple minutes later of Eddie screaming, before The Losers had to drag him to the door. 

"Losers! Fingers up!" Bev yelled, pointing at the crowd. The entire Losers Club flipped off everyone in the room while walking out of the Church. Bev then turned the camera towards herself.

"I just wanna say, Stanley. I feel bad for you being Jewish, we just had the time of our lives!"

The Losers waited outside for Ben's mom, they obviously couldn't go home with out her. Most of The Losers were looking over the footage on the camera, some laughing and some still concerned. Eddie sat against the wall thinking about what he had just did, he really had to make things more difficult for himself, huh? Soon enough Richie joined him, he plopped down right next to him.

Just great. Eddie thought, he didn't think things could get worse. They got worse.

"What do you want, Richie?"

"Fell in love with a Trashmouth." Richie chuckled, quoting the small brunette from just moments ago.

"I don't want to talk about it, Richie."

"Eds, I'm flattered. But I'm just too busy with your fat mom."

"Don't call me Eds! Richie!" Eddie spat, turning to look Richie directly in the eye. He was just about to snap, he was so close! Why couldn't Richie just leave it alone? It wasn't a big deal, this could all be left alone.

"Chill, Spaghetti! I'm not trying to fuck with you. I just wanted to say, Sir Trashmouth was very appreciative of it. He also really..he uh, also.." Richie let out a nervous chuckle, hesitating with the current words that were trying to come out of his mouth. Eddie rose an eyebrow wondering what was going on inside his head, but he just sat and waited.

"He also really really loves your viciously fat mom." Richie has a really odd way of communicating, but Eddie got it. Eddie understood.

"Well, my viciously fat mom really really loves him too." It was a tad awkward at first, but the two could really do nothing but share a small smile with each other. Mrs. Hanscom then left the Chruch with a sigh, all the kids that weren't already standing, stood up and followed her into the car. She didn't seem mad, but she sure as hell knew she couldn't come back to this beautiful looking Church.

"You kids really are a handful, especially you Mr. Kaspbrak."

"I'm really sorry, Mrs. Hanscom! I just-" Eddie was cut off but Mrs. Hanscom herself.

"Oh, don't be! I'm glad y'all stood up for yourselves, it was excitin'! I just wish ya could've been more child appropriate." Mrs. Hanscom lightly laughed to herself. The Losers Club were insanely surprised with her reaction, maybe a grown up in this town really did care.

"Oh...alright.." Eddie mumbled, a tad confused. The ride was quiet for the most part, it had been a while before they actually started talking, except for Eddie. He simply blankly stared out the window, still a little down from the Church scene. Richie noticed this and left the conversation with the other Losers for a bit.

"You okay?" There was a silence between the two before Eddie slipped his hand into Richie's, intertwining fingers with him.

"Yeah."