I kind of hate that Marvel released the Loki trailer a few days ago. Not because I'm not excited, but because I am excited. Problem is, it's all I can think about and I have so much writing to do that I keep putting off in favor of finding theories and analyzing the trailer. And when I say analyzing, it's more like I'm learning crime history (See: Buzzfeed Unsolved on DB Cooper) and laughing at Roombas:

Yes, Loki got knocked back by a Roomba.

But damn it, I have a Christmas special to write, finals to study for, and an alternate ending to Dracula to write.

But what's more important? Finals or appreciating the soundtrack for the trailer?

I think we know the right answer.

(PSA: Stay in school and focus on your studies, this is a satirical portrayal)

But in my constant pursuit of knowledge and research, I had to go to the source. I'm not one who goes frame by frame to analyze things, I leave that to the experts (so OBVIOUSLY Loki is behind the Polybius thing:)

But I do research. Way back in February I spent a study hall researching the TVA after the Super Bowl teaser dropped (ah, back when I was in actual school and we thought we'd get more Marvel than we actually did) which is how I was able to make my own theories. Not to mention, it helped me in history class to remember the Tennessee Valley Authority (note the initials).

But today after I finished some math homework, I found an online comics website to do some digging from the original original source rather than a Wikipedia page. I could have looked for any number of things, but I needed this answered for me...

What's the full story behind President Loki?

I knew this comic existed prior because of all the election buzz (this could not have happened at a more coincidental time) and because of the trailer, I got curious. So I went searching and found it.

And lemme tell y'all, it is WORTH IT. It's so fucking funny that America would allow this to happen and it was successful... For the most part. But I just had to share some of this with y'all, it is TOO GOOD.

So, starting off strong, JJ frickin Jameson gets to interview Loki, who's still considering running in the wake of an embezzlement scandal and people are like "Loki lies, but at least he's honest about it... Hey, maybe he wouldn't be a bad president!" I don't understand the logic, but it's really funny.

JJ's "Here we go" just kills me lol. Also Idk how true Loki's Maryland claim is, but it's really funny to think about.

Later on the defacto main character (a reporter who's very skeptical about Loki and his intentions) is visiting the campaign office thing and Loki's in his female form and does the thing with the shoes that all women have done with those types of shoes before.

And, let's be real, if this is how Lady Loki appears in the series, I could die happy.

Now, obviously the Avengers are very skeptical of this given Loki's reputation, so they have this advertisement ad that the team puts out and it's so frickin funny:

Steve socking Loki in the face (the EXPRESSION) which clearly is supposed to envoke when Cap slugged Hitler back in the day. But SAM in the bottom... Sam just makes me laugh cos he's just like 'Hey..."

Also I like how the ad paints Loki supporters like this weird cult of people and how damn accurate it is. Let's be real, we kind of are. The views on the trailer tell all.

Now, the Thor in this comic run is the Jane Foster version of the character that's gonna be in Thor 4:

But this COVER has me wheezing. The campaign sticker on Mjolnir, Thor's face, LOKI'S face. It's beautiful.

Now, at this point Loki is full into it, making ads and shit. Personally, I despise political ads because they're ALWAYS on during election season and are so annoying. But THIS ad?

Oh my shit, it's so good. It's got a weird wholesomeness to it with the little girl and Loki making fun of how often the Hulk kicks his ass. But some eagle eyed fans will notice that the suit he wears in this ad is the same one he's wearing in the trailer (you can tell by the waistcoat and tie clip).

I swear to god, I better see this in the series or I'm suing, it would be so funny. From convicted Time Felon to making Campaign ads with children... Imagine it.

Now, let's talk about his first rally. Look at the lyrics in purple on the panels:

Y'ALL THAT'S THE SONG FROM THE END OF SHREK 2.

ANYONE WHO USES SHREK 2 DESERVES A WIN.

Add that to the list of things I want from the series.

Also Loki's entrance is so DRAMATIC and so IN CHARACTER:

Anyways, later on, the reporter woman finds very much a Loki cult with people surrounding a goat dressed like him (I forgot to screenshot it) and the media blows up, but Loki brings up a very valid point: The First Amendment protects freedom of religion:

But I screenshotted this because of how much of a smartass he is, but also the people in the bottom left panel. "I wonder if there's a [Loki] church near us!"

Another accurate depiction of this fandom, for real.

But this idiot gets REALLY into it:

Y'know how presidents kiss babies (wow, non Americans are prolly like "What in the fuck?").

But this made me smile just because it gave me the Loki-Being-A-Dad vibes that warms my heart.

But THIS panel is probably one of my favorites out of the four issues:

Now, THIS... THIS is just funny on several levels. The SHIRT, The EXPRESSION, The RESPONSE, The CULINARY CONCOCTION THAT HE HAS TO PRETEND LOOKS APPETIZING TO APPEAL TO THE PUBLIC, It's AMAZING!

It's so violently American, it makes me wheeze. And the fact that Loki calls it a "work of art" just kills me.

I can see the look in his eyes, he actually wants to die (again).

Showrunners, I BEG you, recreate this. Please.

Now, context aside, this just makes me laugh:

"Hello, united metal workers of Wisconsin!"

I just... Wisconsin? If y'all are from Wisconsin, don't take this the wrong way, but it's just so... Random lmao. Especially because two minutes ago, he basically just blew something up (long story).

Now, this is the last thing in the last issue:

If the series tries to recreate this image, I will actually feel my soul leave my body. And I know the showrunners have seen ALL of this because they got the suit so accurate... So how much will make it in?

And if you're wondering if Loki wins, the short answer is no.

Basically he's like, dominating polls and shit until it gets down to the wire and, like many, he fucks up on TV when answering campaign questions so he loses pretty badly, only a few states highlighted in green.

But I don't accept that ending because the comic said the state I live in was the wrong color (meaning red v. blue).

Point is, he's still my president.

But I genuinely wonder how much of this will make it in the series. There's so much material that would be AMAZING to see. And it begs the question at how much stuff in the series will pull from the other comics Loki is in, like Agent of Asgard.

Bro, Loki better turn into the rainbow-maned unicorn or I'll riot.

I mean, I say riot, but it's more like "Mild disappointment that'll eventually be overshadowed by the other amazing stuff we'll get."

But I will say that I'll actually have a cow if my blue boy doesn't come back for a "Reflection" from Mulan style scene that'll force Loki to accept who he is, inside and out. It'd be such an impactful scene and the first time we'd see Jotun Loki in... Legit 10 years, actually. 2011's Thor was the first time, and the series is in May of next year, 2021.

Holy shit, that's insane to think about.

Also, a "Let it Go" belt couldn't hurt, either.

I just want Morbius (Owen Wilson's character according to the trailer's subtitles) to see Smurf-ki and go like... "Wow." Because... Well, you know.

Anyways, TL;DR, President Loki is a superior concept and the show has so much content to use.

And y'all better give me my Loki Wins Timeline to make Loki rethink his actions and go through ~character development~

I'll shut up now.