A LATE HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIEND! Sorry I got it about a week late. May autocorrect NOT be with you, and I dearly hope Shannon makes your Sokeefe happen ASAP. And yes, this was what I was working on with my SUPER subtle "secret spy people in my brain" thing... 😉

Also I apologize if I got your birthday wrong. I think it's been at least seven months since I last asked you and I didn't want to ask since that would draw suspicion 😂 (it's also why I didn't send the chapter to you to edit)

Percy: Guys, I have a question for you.

Keefe: Yes?

Percy: Well, not exactly a question. More like...a comment.

Sophie: So what is it?

Percy: Well....I can make you say five.

Sophie: Uh no you can't

Percy: Try me

Sophie: Then I'll say—oh boy, this is harder than it looks.

Keefe: I bet you we won't say whatever "five" is. It's probably a swear word or something.

Everyone: ........

Keefe: What? Is it actually a bad word?

Me: *giggles*

Clary: Keefe, I hate to break it to you, but you said five....

Fitz: Clary, I also hate to break it to you but you said five too....UGH!

Annabeth: I am NOT going down that road, and Seaweed Brain, don't do this. I resisted it, people!

Percy: Oh man....I made five people say five so far!

Jace: Do your math and see that it's three.

Percy: I'll make you say it, soon....

Gisela: Why was I invited here? Like, five people added me in-

Percy: *snickers*

Keefe: We made my mom say five! This is the best day ever!

Dex: Wait, if Keefe doesn't know what 'five' is, then how does Lady Gisela know...

Me: DEX YOU'RE LIKE THE SMARTEST PERSON EVER THANKS

Dex: Uh, you're welcome?

Sophie: Come on, Keefe, do it. You owed me from that bet.....

Me: What bet?!?!

Sophie: *grins* All I'm saying is that Keefe is getting too careless with his betting....

Keefe: *sighs* Hey, Mommy Gisela.

Gisela: ..........excuse me?

Fitz: *snickers*

Keefe: Don't pretend like you weren't a part of this too, Fritz Vacuum...

Fitz: You told me you wouldn't-

Gisela: OKAY. LET'S GET TO THE POINT. WHY WAS I INVITED HERE?!

Keefe: I don't know about your use of the word "invited", Mommy Gisela.

Gisela: STOP CALLING ME THAT.

Keefe: Oh sorry, I won't do it again, Mommy Gisela.

Gisela: *scowls*

Keefe: *whispers* Foster, this is the greatest gift you could have given me...

Sophie: Anytime.

Me: Oh! Gisela! I invited you here for....

Me: Uh, that's the sign for y'all drumrolling....

Jace: Is that even a word?

Me: Just go with it.

Everyone: *drumrolls*

Me: THE CHARACTER AWARDS!

Katniss: That sounds boring, and-

Me: Save the complaining for later, Katy! These'll be super...unique awards, and to determine a few of them, we'll need to run a......contest :)

Harry: Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm gonna be excited for this...

Me: Oh, guys! I forgot! It's Vara's birthday today!

KotLC Fandom *excluding Tam*: HAPPY BIRTHDAY VARA!

Vara: Awwwww thanks. It means a lot to me that you care, no thanks to you, Tam!

Tam: Happy birthday!!!! 😃😃😃😃😃

Vara: Wow. No bigger smile? Wow.

Tam: LINH YOU MADE ME WRITE THAF

Jace: *that

Linh: Well, Vara's done so many amazing things for us! Everything was funny because of her! She deserves all the presents!

Vara: 😊 Thanks, Linh.

Vara: Oh, Lady Gisela, I also expect a happy birthday to me, and I know you're hiding there, Vespera. (No, Vara isn't as vain as I made her—hey, Vain Vara! That'll be her villain-y name—Vara's completely modest and not braggy, jsyk. I don't want any bad impressions here.)

Vespera: I was hoping to evade you this time....But eh. What even is a birthday?

Tris: You are severely under-informed, 'Spera....

Sophie: Oh yeah! You got arrested before you heard of humans inventing birthdays!

Vespera: *snorts* Nice way to put a blow on me, but I'm not falling for the bait. Whatever this birthday is, I wish you a good birthday, Vanessa.

Vara: Well...at least she wished me one. I wasn't expecting a villain to wish me happy birthday!

Gisela: Excuse me?! I surpass all expectations, so a VERY happy birthday to you, Vara.

Vespera: But I was the first one to do it, so I surpassed expectations first-

Gisela: Well, I said very! In all caps!

Vespera: But you forgot that all caps isn't my thing!

Gisela: Too bad! Vara, I'll send you some money too. A few hundred lusters, in fact.

Vespera: Nah I'll send her some mallowmelt

Gisela: I'll send her 300 lusters, AND mallowmelt!

Vespera: Well I'll send her 1,000 lusters, custard bursts, and mallowmelt!

Gisela: WELL THEN I'LL GET HER A MILLION LUSTERS AND BUY HER A HOUSE AND ALL THE TREATS SHE WANTS!

Vespera: AND I'LL GIVE HER ALL OF THAT, INSTEAD I'LL GIVE HER TWO MILLION, PLUS EVERY BOOK SHE WANTS!

Gisela: AND I'LL GIVE HER EVERYTHING SHE WANTS! AND MAKE SOKEEFE HAPPEN!

Vespera: WELL, WHATEVER THIS SOKEEFE IS, I'LL FORCE IT IF I HAVE TO! AND I'LL GIVE HER THREE MILLION!

*the villains keep arguing until they realize they're broke*

Vara: Guys, I'm concerned for the fact that villains are being nice to me....

Keefe: Just give them some time.

Gisela: Violet, there's a certain matter that we need you to help us on....what's your address?

Vara: ..........

Jace: *snickers* Stalkers...

Vespera: Vara, what's your address?

Gisela: I asked her first!!

Vespera: First is the worst, second is the best!

Gisela: Third is the one with a hairy chest!

Vespera: Fourth has the treasure chest!

*the villains just keep being obnoxious*

Vara: Uhhhhh we'll continue on, shall we?

Me: Yeah...and also, excuse the rest of the fandoms, but I haven't heard any of you croak out a happy birthday...

Jace: *croaks* Happy birthday

Vara: *sighs* Jace, what will I ever do with you...

Harry Potter Fandom: Happy birthday

Me: *exclamation point

Hermione: !

Me: THANK you. The Mortal Instuments.....?

The Mortal Instruments Fandom: Help us...

Me: *AHEM*

TMI Fandom: Happy birthday 🎉

Vara: Thanks for the emoji!

Me: DIVERGENT PEOPLE, STEP UP!

Divergent Fandom: Hapsies birthdaysies 🎁

Vara: Thanks for the present!

Katniss: We're next, aren't we....?

Me: Yup! Nice seeing-the-future Powers, by the way.

Katniss: *rolls eyes*

THG Fandom: Feliz Cumpleaños!

Vara: Gracias!

Me: I think we're done.....WAIT

Annabeth: Thanks for forgetting us lol

Hermione: Uh as you can see she didn't forget you

Annabeth: EXCUSE M-

Me: GIRLS, PLEASE. IT'S VARA'S BIRTHDAY AND SHE DOESN'T LIKE ARGUING. ALTHOUGH SHE LIKES FIGHTS BETWEEN YOU SO IDK WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW

Vara: Yeah....um do whatever you want I suppose

Annabeth: Um okay

Hermione: Er.....I'll figure out how to fix that

Me: What are we doing today?

Percy: HELP

Annabeth: What now?

Percy: YO MAMA-

Me: UGH STOP IT WITH THE YO MAMA JOKES THEY ARE SO CRINGY! I mean this one time a few weeks ago, this guy was telling a joke to the class. The joke went like, "What has four legs and can't walk?" And this guy who answers "Your mama" to everything answered, you guessed it, "your mom" And all the boys and my science teacher immediately collapsed to the floor laughing. I just muttered under my breath, "BOYS."

Percy: YOUR MAMA'S HERE KEEFE

Me: Oh uh

Annabeth: VESPERA AND GISELA ARE HERE NOOOOOO

Biana: GET AWAY FROM THEM AND STAY PUT

Percy: Um excuse me but how do we do both at the same time?

Biana: Good question

Gisela: Oh we just wanted to recruit you to join us

Tam: *snorts* How to make your plan work: tell all the details of it out loud so everyone knows what you're doing.

Tris: NOT the time to be salty, Tam!!!

Vara: *sigh* and on my birthday too....

Gisela: In case we haven't mentioned it, happy birthday dear

Vespera: Oh yeah happy b-day

Gisela: At least I wrote it out

Vespera: This is the 21st century, what do you think?!

Gisela: Girl, you've been stuck in a prison for like millions of years, and you know what the 21st century is?!?!

Vespera: *flares* IT WAS THOUSANDS! AND I'M NOT EXACTLY DUMB, YOU KNOW!!!

Gisela: Oh, I thought capitals weren't your thing?

Vespera: ......................

Sophie: OHHHHHHHH HUUUUUUGE BURNNNNNN

Me: Condenseeeeee

Sophie: We caught her!

Me: Um how?

Dex: :D this was all a trap

Gisela: Do you think what you're doing is FUNNY?!?!

Keefe: A bit :)

Gisela: -_-

Vespera: Really, what will we ever do with you, Keefe?

Keefe: Idk you're not my mom

Sophie: Ohhhhh

Gisela: But I am!!!

Sophie: OHHHHH

Keefe: BUT YOU DISOWNED ME

Sophie: .....I want to "OHHHH" but that's sad sooooo...

Clary: We should probably get to funnier topics. Btw you should take away their devices so they can't see what we're doing.

Vespera: *complains* UGH! And I thought you'd forget :(

Isabelle: *rolls eyes* You don't say....

Gisela: Bye

Vespera: BYEEEEEEE!

Vara: .....well at least she added some emotion.....

Jace: She's a villain, it doesn't matter

Peeta: But sometimes villains can become good!!

Percy: Eh, whatever. So, Jace. What's 2+2?

Jace: Four...why?

Four: HEY!

Percy: Hello there!

Four: Hi....and oh, I see where you're going ;)

Jace: I'm super confused...

Percy: See, I made you say four!

Four: Say what?

Jace: But....you said you'd make me say five....

Everyone: ..........

Everyone: *CHEERS LOUDLY*

Percy: *grins super hard*

Annabeth: *sighs* And I thought Jace wouldn't do it....you win a million dollars from me, Seaweed Brain. I honestly thought you couldn't do it.

Percy: That's what you get for doubting me!!!

Jace: Wait, what did I do?! I didn't say five!

Vara: *sarcastically* Well, now you did....do you really need me to tell you now or did you find your mistake?

Jace: *searches through his past messages*

Jace: *finds the message*

Jace: *gapes in horror*

Jace: *growls really loudly*

Percy: *waits for explosion*

Jace: mmhhHgggggGgGGgGghhHhUuuUhgTthHHGRRRRR

Clary: Um should I go calm him down?

Tris: Fuh

Tris: *duh

Four: Lol he must be hurt so bad

Simon: You know, I think his pride was hurt more

Magnus: Percy, that was brilliant. He always wins every bet and it's been getting annoying for a while

Percy: Thanks :D

Fitz: Really? Jace should try going against Keefe sometime :)

Ro: *groans* This is SO not going to end well....

Yeah I agree. Sorry it was so short, as an apology, I have the next chapter uploaded so yay!