Eliza was sitting there hours ever since the funeral ended. What she was doing I had no idea but I can only assume that she was doing the same thing I was, crying. Because what can you do when your best friend dies, and even worse for Eliza that he was her husband. Yet not much change because I loved him too.

I walked up to her slowly trying not to bother her completely. "Sorry for your lost," I said awkwardly standing there. She chuckled almost morbidly, "You say as if he wasn't yours to lose either, Lauren's." I just stood there not knowing what to do but grieve in silence for a moment.

"Hey, sit here," She scooted a bit and made room for me to sit with her. I sat there and continued to grieve a bit more. "I-" she sighed, "I know you really loved Alexander and it's funny." I looked at her a bit shock. Did she know I loved him to where I wanted him to be mine or that I loved him like my best friend?

"When he was on the hospital bed he begged me to give you this," she took out an open envelope with a piece of paper popping out, "He didn't want me to read it but I couldn't help but see what he had to tell you. Ha..." She started seeing the sunset.

The light coming down on a dreadful day. Where one of the most important person in my life got buried in dirt and our tears. The blue, red, and yellow of the sunset clashed together like everyone's emotions today. Eliza, Philip, even Thomas had a new sort of new emotions crashing down onto him.

"I will always love Alexander no matter what. Death did us apart at last but my love will live on as long I'm living, but Alexander was a really confusing person. He did things most people don't understand; he was arrogant, loud, and confident. But he always did like keeping secrets from me," She stood up and placed the envelope on Alex's grave, "Go home soon, Laurens." She kissed my cheek and left.

I watched as she left. Her eyes filled with sorrow and yet this new sort of wisdom. Still, she walked with her great posture and loving look. I sighed picking up the envelope and began to read.

Dear John Laurens,

Never in my life, I met a man with as curly hair as yours or freckles that cover every inch of your face. You looked at me with such hope and enthusiasm of what I could become. We fought for our beliefs together, you were my best man, and even through high school and college, you kept dealing with my outburst of passion. You stayed with me as I wrote till dawn making sure I fell asleep eventually.

But it seemed that all you ever did. Stay, work, look at me. Never daring to go anywhere else with me but friendship, and yet not marrying anyone else. I will say this, I love Eliza but I am blamed of loving one more person. Before you think it's Maria think again because she was only for lust.

I loved you Laurens and not the way I said I did. I needed to tell you before I die or else I would regret it on my deathbed. Burr will kill me I know this but I need you to know I died not in vain but for love. I had to die for Eliza, Philip, all my children, and you John. So never look back at my death and say what was it all for nothing.

Yours truly,

Alexander Hamilton

(a/n) i really needed to write. i'm a bit rusty cuz i haven't written in a while so i'm warming up before i write chapters for my books. this is hamilton future au btw. im going to start writing request for warm ups son because i need it bad. hope this wasn't too terrible! love ya kitties, see ya!

*unedited