Dheere Dheere se Meri Zindagi main aana

Dheere Dheere se Dil ko Churana"

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The smallest of things that you can do for others can make such a difference in their lives... Sanskaar discovered that The next day when he distributed stuff among the kids along with Swara. Sanskaar could truly understand what Swara was talking about that day in the coffee shop. The happiness of those kids, he realized in that moment of stunned pleasure, was beyond price. Their sparkling eyes and laughter just made his day. So much, that he told Swara how he loved it, and to him be part of her wish list shopping every month. She agreed. Like Christmas and Santa every month...it warmed his heart to be able to do that for the children.

Audits and repair work started soon after. They met often, spoke on phone when he couldn't be on site. They met over coffee when schedules allowed, outside her gift shop after her shift, if he could only drop in; and invariably dropped her home on such days. Even her trips grocery shopping became brainstorming sessions for Little Flowers. Other topics made way to these conversations as well. He found himself relating to her little anecdotes from office; and found her takes on campus life witty and funny. He appreciated the levity.Wish list shopping was their monthly routine now, which he enjoyed. He didn't mind the trips to the supermarket either, though he had taken to wearing semi formals by now; seemed like the thing to do.

Sanskaar had become a frequent visitor to Little Flowers, and valued patron. And soon he became the kids' favorite Bhaiyya, just as Swara was their favorite Didi. He adored the kids same as she did, and Baby Angel was his favorite little person there.

Weeks flew by in renovations and restorations of the orphanage; and he juggled work and play with dexterity. Sometimes it felt like two lives to him. And Though it wasn't easy, it was definitely worth it. His time with the children. And Swara. Definitely Swara.

He looked forward to their meetings, though he hadn't realized. Impromptu or otherwise, he looked forward to them, little things like sharing coffee and the day's bulletins with her sitting on the church steps in the evenings, the little stone bench inside her apartment building's compound. Those were their hangouts, when it wasn't Little Flowers or coffee shops.

One such day, he drove up to Little Flowers, bearing gifts for the children, and for her. He had a cache of new bats and balls for his cricket enthusiasts. The bats were English White willow, imported.

He parked by the ground, stepped out of car thinking what would those little devils be doing, hoping he hadn't missed them. Friday evening was cricket time, which was why he drove in earlier than usual. He looked around; those were not his people on the ground, but some other gang. Frowning a little, he walked up to Little Flowers church. And saw them sitting on the steps, all quiet and brooding. Now that was something to worry, as it was not their usual style. This was a cheerfully noisy bunch almost always; today their brows were all furrowed. One of the little ones was gnawing his lips. Their captain, madam Swara was frowning as well.

He walked up to them, got some worried smiles in greeting. Swara waved a hello, tilted her head in consideration; she seemed to be having a light bulb moment as she murmured Hi to him. Seeing the calculating light in her eyes, Wondering what she was upto now, he sat down with them on the steps.

"Hello ,kya baat hain? Aaj itna sannata kyu hain bhai?" he said picking up a kid and making him sit on his lap .No Answer

"Swara ..kya hua?" he said looking at her for a answer." Koi kuch bolega please", he said looking around when none came in

Then a lil voice broke in saying , "Woh aaj hamara jagada hua ek aur batch ke saath ground main"

"Jagada??" Sanskaar said quizzically

"Aur nahi tho kya?" came in swara's voice ," hamara ground hain .Woh gang aisa hi guss gaya aur jaane ka naam nahi le rahe the, kitna samjahyaya, lekin nahi ..aur phir jagada badh gaya aur," she mumbled

This wasn't going well. Swara and the kids were such peace loving souls.

"Aur??" He prompted.

"Aur bet lagaya ki ek match ho jo jeeta ground main wahi khelenege"

"Aur tumne haan kardiya ?" said sanskaar ,"tho ab kya karne ka irada hain?"

"Match jeetna hain bas , aur kya ?" She said with newfound confidence. She just knew what they needed.

"Lekin Didi," piped up one voice, "unke team main tho sab lambe aur bade log hain Aur abhi sirf ek ghantha hain match ko "

"Tho kya hua hum kam thodina hain ,Hamara paas bhi tho hain na all rounder?" she gave Sanskaar a friendly wink.

"Kaun kaun?" bustled the crowd curious

"Wow !an all rounder", thought sanskaar equally curious

Now all eyes were on swara waiting for an answer.Her eyes went around the group and all eyes followed her and they stopped at one person and all eyes turned to that person..

"Sanskaar bhaiyaa??" said one voice with equal amounts of doubt and excitement.

What!! Sasnkaar's curios expression turned into a horrified one as he looked at everyone and then at swara.

God! , she is serious, They are serious.

Kids broke in excitement listening this ,"tho didi sanskaar bhiayya bhi khelenge hamare saath?" came one voice

"Aur bhiayya all rounder hain ??" came an another

"All rounder and me? From when ? He didnt know that .This is crazy and it has to stop" ,he thought

"Nahi." he said, shaking his head in denial. The crowd went silent.

"Oh c'mon Sanskaar ab ye mat kaho ki tumhe cricket khelna nahi aata," she chided.

"Maine aisa kab kaha? ..I mean I don't even remember ki last time cricket kab khela maine aur ab acahanak se-" he tried to protest

"Cricket koi rocket science thodi na hain," she said placatingly. "Chalo na."

"Lekin swara," Sanskaar tried again.

"Lekin wekin kuch nahi Sanskaar," she waved it away ", its just a game and believe me it will be fun aur dekho tumhare khelne se bache kitne excited hogaye."

Still not getting anything in affirmative from Sanskaar.."Fine.." she huffed. "I don't want to force you."

"Bacho chalo. Ground tho jeetna hai Hume," she stood up, herding them out.

"Aur bhaiyaa??"

"Woh bhaiyya ko kaam hain na tho," Swara tried explaining to kids who were back to low spirits walking towards ground.

He looked at them walking away .

Kids looked back at him, some with disappointment and some with a tingling hope as they walked off to ground.

"Arey ruko," came the voice from behind them as kids and Swara turned back. "Apne all rounder ko tho leke jaavo saath main!" said Sanskaar with a smirk and a quick wink. All kids ran back to him, laughing and jumping and hugging him all at the same time. Swara looked on, amused that they deserted her for their all rounder Bhaiyya.

"Acha suno tum sab. Waise aaj match khelna ka bada acha din hai pata hai kyu?"

"Kyu, kyu?" voices chimed.

He laughed. "New bats. Me leke aya hu aaj."

There were cheers and shouts to this new announcement. Swara smiled indulgently. He loved spoiling the kids with surprises, and she loved watching them.

The group walked off to battleground.

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So the battle field was set. Team members finalized, Game plan drawn. Match would be for 10 overs and the Team with highest score at the end would win.

The other team had won the toss and chose to bat first. The score for the Little flowers to chase was 110 in 60 balls .The chase started quite well for Little flowers but the other team was good as well. Few boundaries, few wickets, some singles and doubles led Little flowers to 102/9

Match down to 3 balls- 9 runs

With their best batsmen of Little flowers on Crease, didn't seem that tough. One boundary few runs would do .Sanskaar standing on other side of wicket looked at his co bats man with bated breath

The ball came in, bat swinged but no runs came in as it couldn't paas past bowler.

2 balls - 9 runs

"Cmon swara," he said and she looked at him as if she heard him. Their eyes did talking and Swara nodded in understanding . They need a boundary.Again the ball came in. Swara hit the ball with full force and ball shot off towards boundary and they rushed for the singles.

It would have almost made to boundary only if the other team didn't have their best fielder at that point where the ball banged off .Only 3 runs came in from the ball bringing it down to 105/9.

1 ball - 6 runs

Sanskaar was up for batting. Sweat dewed on his forehead, drenched his expensive shirt down the back and front, plastering it to his body. In the sticky summer heat of Mumbai this should have bothered him the most, but he had his attention on the goal. One ball and six runs. He huffed, shook his head once to clear the hair that had fallen onto his forehead, damp from the sweltering heat and his own efforts. All through the game his brain was engaged, furiously calculating batting averages and run rates and plotting strategy. It didn't occur to him that it was a silly game between two bunches of kids. All that did, was that they depended on him. And that he was programmed to win. He narrowed his eyes as the opposite team's bowler tensed, took the stance. One ball, one chance...

Across him, Swara stood with bated breath. She too, had her eyes narrowed in concentration, her brows furrowed. Damn if they didn't win...she didn't want to let the kids down. Like Sanskaar she too had forgotten this was a kid's game. The world, for the moment, only featured that one ball and Sanskaar's bat...the bowler wound up, and she thought: incoming!

His bat connected with the ball the next second, and it boomed like thunder as he sent the ball winging...she was pretty sure the bat cracked down the middle. Nobody could handle that intensity. The rest of the half minute seemed to move in freeze frames for them... Swara, the Little Flowers Angel's, their opponents... The ball soared high, over, and out to the left field...clearly, a sixer...and still they couldn't breathe for a moment...because they all knew where the ball was gonna end up...in through the window of the D'souzas home...

There was a telltale crash of glass somewhere.

And then it hit them. Cheers erupted, war whoops and shouts of joy... they had won the ground battle, their personal World cup moment...the defeated team withdrew quietly; nobody noticed. it was pandemonium, and the Little Flowers Team was besides themselves with joy.

"Sanskaar!! She shouted out to him enthusiastically. Eager to share the thrill of victory with her, Sanskaar hi-fived and back-slapped his way to his co-captain, who was surrounded by their giddy team mates in the middle of the pitch. She looked like a live grenade, bouncing in place, about to burst with happiness

.. Which she did the moment he reached her... she launched herself into his arms, and with no second thoughts he scooped her up off the ground, laughing like himself silly, twirling her around in circles laughing as she repeated over and over again, "jeet gaye, jeet gaye yayyy. She clung to his shoulders, exhilarated; her head spun with delight, his, hers, that of the children. They won! Yes hell they did

Once again, life moved in a series of freeze frames for him as he swung her around, as they clung to each other in this shared moment of joy...her face above his, cheeks flushed, her eyes sparkling, laughing her musical angel's laugh, the warm pressure of her hands on his shoulders and as he lowered her to the ground, ..caught up close ,she took his breath away . He watched happiness shimmer in those eyes, then slowly widen as awareness trickled in...their faces so close he could feel her warm breath and her heart hammering against his; he could feel his own heart jackhammering, keeping time with the beat of hers. She was soft and warm and God, so alive..., and all he could think was how right it seemed to hold her against him... ...he knew he'd forgotten to breathe. Slowly, he drew his hands away from her waist. She, for her turn pulled her hands away from his shoulders, and for the life of her couldn't help the warmth that flooded her cheeks. What was that...what she saw in his eyes, what she felt in his arms...mesmerized, she stared into his eyes, a small smile of wonder still on her lips. They stood inches apart, with the kids shouting and laughing and doing their war dance, and they could only look at each other, transfixed.

Both took slow breaths, unconsciously recognizing the need to level their heart rates and breathing. It was still chaos around them, only it felt and sounded slightly tinny. Like from another, neighboring planet...

Swara was dimly aware of their playmates tugging at her hands, demanding her attention. "hmm? Kya.." she looked down at little Manu who was frantic now. "Didi..Mrs.dsouza-" he said urgently, his little face lined in uncharacteristically serious lines. Still a little distracted, she followed his line of sight, towards where he pointed. The upstairs window of one of the houses along the playground fence had opened, and an aged figure regarded the victors. "Oh, God," she said as a bubble of hysteric laughter threatened.

The other kids saw this at the same time, and just like that, the mellow haze was gone; chaos returned amidst yells of "Mrs.D'Souza Aa gai, Bhago, bhago," "Swara Didi bhago, Bhaiyya chalo chalo ..." the kids began running, trying to tug these two along. Swara took his hand and started running after kids unthinkingly, feeling utterly foolish and laughing helplessly.

Sanskaar ran with them, caught up in their madness, not sure why, only knowing he had to run with them. The kids ran for their lives. They were almost to the compound wall of Little Flowers...the door to one of the houses en-route opened, and a frail looking old lady walked out as the children ran past. She walked to the gate, pushing her spectacles further up her nose.

By this time the kids had reached the compound wall...

Swara and Sanskaar screeched to a stop like emergency braked-sports cars when the old lady said "Tum!" in an ominously loud, stern voice. For all her fragile looks, the old lady's voice boomed like thunder. Sanskaar had an errant thought that she looked like the Headmistress of the strictest boarding school on the planet. Little did he know, that she was indeed a retired schoolmistress...

The kids peeped from behind the wall, as both their leaders were caught in the cross hairs of Mrs. D'Souza's spectacles, right in front of her gates.

"Hi Mrs.D'souza," Swara managed to sound innocent despite the giggle that nearly choked her. She bit down on the inside of her cheek; it killed her that this was his first time, but she managed to contain the hilarity.

Sanskaar stood next to her with a question mark on his face, wondering who this lady was, and what was Swara finding so funny.

It seemed Swara's charm didn't work on Mrs. D'Souza. "tum phir se?" She asked dryly.

She had one of those witheringly dry tones. Definitely school teacher, Sanskaar told himself. Then he thought, phir se?

He turned to Swara. "what's this?" He asked in an undertone.

", tumhara sixer," she replied matter-of-factly in the same whispery tone.

" what?! And phir se matlab, kitni bar?" he hissed, a little annoyed, then looked up to see the upstairs window and jagged glass shards. That was him? Was this routine Cricket and breaking the poor woman's glass...and they had made him run...

Mrs.D souza called for their attention. " I'm talking to you."

Struggling to keep a straight face, Swara held up four fingers behind her back slowly so Sanskaar could see.

He peeked over his shoulder, behind her back and saw she held up four fingers! His jaw dropped.

"I am sorry Ma'm," he recovered quickly. "I will have your window repaired." He thought of offering his card, then remembered it was in his blazer. "Sorry," Swara said sheepishly as he dug in his pocket for one. He shot her a look.

"I'm sorry, Mrs.D'souza." she said to the woman, somehow striking a balance between impish and sincere.

Mrs.D'souza regarded the miscreants, and the bobbing heads of their little pals hiding behind the compound wall of the church. "Andar aao." She said regally. Knowing they would follow, she turned around and walked back in.

The kids whistled to Swara; they were worried. She smiled at them, raised a hand to tell them to wait; gave them an "I'll handle it" gesture.

When she turned, Sanskaar was waiting, hands in his pockets, mild censure in his eyes. He wasn't pleased with the running part. She shrugged apologetically, took his arm and led him in, into the Lion's den...

The kids waited by the gate, worried for their Bhaiyya and Didi. What would Mrs.d'souza do to them...

Swara and Sanskaar emerged from the doorway twenty minutes later; Sanskaar was no longer scowling, and Swara was smiling her signature enigmatic smile. They were escorted to the gate by Mr.D'souza, a quiet old man with pinz-nes glasses and a walking stick.

The kids got up from their seats on the ground, relieved their Bhaiyya and Didi were ok, even smiling. They watched as Sanskaar shook hands with the old man, and Swara waved cheerfully as they set out towards Little Flowers...

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A while later, They sat on the front steps of Little Flowers, each nursing a leftover bottle of lukewarm soda. Swara had her ponytail twisted up into a messy bun on top of her head. Sanskaar lounged beside her, leaning back on the top step, shirt sleeves rolled up, his blazer lying next to him in a neglected heap. He let out a heartfelt sigh. What a day.

The kids had all been herded inside their boarding house across the church, adventures for the day over. The last of which was cleaning up the mess they had created in the playground. But they had gone about it good naturedly. And of course, as their responsible Bhaiyya and Didi they both had pitched in.

And the old couple in that house...Sanskaar regarded his drink thoughtfully. Every day at Little Flowers taught him something new. Every day with the girl beside him was a lesson in kindness and compassion. Her generosity astonished him. As did her sheer goodness.

He turned to look at her. She was sitting up straight, in contrast to his own laid back posture. In her dusty ruffled shirt and slacks and hastily bundled up hair she sat demurely holding the soda can in both her hands. She was just an ordinary girl. An ordinary girl with a dust smear on her cheek. He knew she should have no air of mystery to her, but she did. The streak of dirt was accented by the play of lights and shadows on her cheekbones, made it look like burnished gold on her skin. There was this air of calm about her...much like the soft halo the setting sun cast around her face. Nebulous, ethereal. His throat closed up, and there was this unfamiliar ache in his chest... but she was his friend, and she was a normal person, a real person. It was just his fanciful imagination, the soft light, he told himself. He stifled the urge to touch the halo, to make sure she was real. Instead he asked her, "you always go and fix her windows?"

She shifted, smiled. "Always." The change in angle as she turned took the halo of light away, and she was an ordinary girl again. He could breathe. Without knowing why, he relaxed a little more.

He indicated the dust smeared on her cheek. She brushed it away as she spoke, "it helps ki unke bhi bache, pothe pothiya the jinse aisi galatiya hoti thi. Bacho ko kal le jaungi sorry kehne. They will want to make something...aise hi sorry kehna kafi nai haina," she explained with a smile. "they take little gifts. Arts, crafts, even plants. Aur wo dono, uncle Aunty bahot seriously bat karte hai bacho se. But kabhi dant nahi dete, darate nahi hai. Bas ye ehsas dilate hai ki sab unki Tara man nahi jate, aur ye ki Hume dusro ko taklif nai pahunchana chahiye. Pata hai last time sorry kehne gaye the, yaha se ek chota sa paudha leke. She made them plant it, aur waha bitha diya sabko, unke garden me. And gave them lemonade. Tab bhi seriously hi baat kiya, par-" she sighed. "she's such a sweetheart, isn't she?" she said fondly, setting her soda can on the steps. "Wo uncle bhi."

"So are you," he said quietly.

"hmm?" she looked up abstractedly, still thinking of the kids with the old lady.

"Tum bhi ho." As she tilted her head in a quizzical smile, he answered softly. "Sweetheart. For what you do for the kids, for what you do for that elderly couple." He smiled when she looked away, blushing. It amused him that his comments left her flustered, she who used to take in all praise with total aplomb a short while ago.

He stood up, scooped up his jacket. Then held out a hand to her. "Chale?"

She took his hand and rose, took his soda from him. Dropped both their cans in the bin on their way in. "Father se milke jaate hai." She said, not quite looking at him.

He nodded, though she wasn't looking. "I'll drop you home." He added a smile when she did turn.

"ok." She wished he wouldn't look at her like that...if he was canonizing her, that wouldn't do. They would have to speak about it. And, she admitted to herself, it made her want too much of what he gave already. companionship, respect, affection. And that something else she saw sometimes in his eyes, like that moment on the field today...she stopped right there. She couldn't dwell on it. She had no right.

"Are you ok?" he asked, stopping in front of the vestry.

She looked up, saw all those things again in his eyes. Mixed in with concern. Lord, help, she thought. Shaking off dark thoughts, she smiled. She could be his friend for now, and that would be enough. "I'm fine, let's go in."

They went in to find Father Benedict.

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The drive home was a bit different from their normal routine.

He wondered if she was quiet because of the hug they shared.

She wondered if he was quiet because she had acted impulsively, jumping at him like that...if it was, then-- a little mortified, she looked away, out the window. But he didn't look mad when he picked her up, he looked like...Oh, God. She shut her eyes tight. Like she mattered. Towards the end it was not the happiness of winning the game but something else...

A little worried now that he had been over-enthusiastic in the field, he turned to look at her. She was looking out the window, not speaking. It was just a moment of shared joy, wasn't it? He asked himself. He decided to ignore the fact that the earth had stopped spinning by the time he had put her back on the ground...

She tried not to dwell on what she felt in his arms. It was ok, just- normal display of joy, a hug between friends. That's all it was.

Uncharacteristic silence in the cabin bothered him too much, so much so that he turned the radio on.

The strains of an old Bollywood song greeted them. Dheere dheere se meri zindagi me aana...that brought her attention back; her eyes widened for a moment, before she composed herself quickly. Dheere dheere se dil ko churana...

Damn, he thought as he switched channels, stopping at one where Atif Aslam was crooning out something more.. contemporary. And then to his horror, it was another romantic tune. Dehleez pe, mere dil ke..jo rakhe hai tune- he turned it off hurriedly. Was she blushing? He thought he caught a glimpse of color flooding her cheeks before she looked away. Oh, God. Great job, Sanskaar. Embarrass her on the ground, then play cheesy songs. He concentrated on the road.

She felt like laughing at the absurdity of it all. But she didn't know if she should laugh; he seemed all strung up anyway. No need to add laughter over the inappropriate songs. Nice songs, but today they seemed...silly and out of place and...still nice. She sneaked a peek at him. Was he blushing?! Cute, she decided, smiling to herself. She felt she understood a little of what all was going in his head, because she knew what was in hers...she decided not to bring up the hug or apologize for it. Instinctively she knew. Deciding to put them both out of misery, she began talking of an outing they had planned for the kids. Though the hug was playing on an infinite loop in his brain, he joined the conversation, appreciating the effort she put in. He sighed as they turned a corner. What a day...

By the time they reached her apartment, both had relaxed. This was more their routine. Easy, friendly.

"I'll call tomorrow, class ke bad. Kuch ache locations friends se pooch leti hu tab tak," she said, referring to the children's outing.

"Sure." He stopped by her gate.

"Ok, then," she said cheerfully, unbuckling he seat belt. He reached over, plucked her bag from the backseat.

"Damn," she muttered, jiggling the buckle. It was stuck.

"kya hua?"

"seat belt," she gestured towards the offending buckle, trying to tug it out again.

He leaned in to help. "Lao me dekhta hu-" his hand brushed the back of hers, and he snatched it back. It felt like a jolt of electricity. "Sorry," he muttered under his breath, forgetting her rules about apologies. A little stunned, she pulled her hand back slowly. Her hand...she felt a little sting, like slow burn. He managed to tug the buckle out; it snapped out with a click that resounded in the suddenly quiet cabin.

Not trusting her voice, she nodded, took the bag from him and got out.

He wanted to turn to her, say something. This was way too awkward for them...Not trusting himself, he started the car, without looking back at her.

This wasn't the way to end the day...she had to fix it, for both of them. she sighed. Then she turned, called out to him. "Sanskaar?"

He turned now, trying not to gauge his reaction to the sound of his name from her. "Yes?"

She smiled. "Good night," she said simply.

"Good night," he replied, then put the car in gear.

She stood there, waiting for him to drive away. Her own thoughts were confusing, but she learnt she had to deal with them, fix them. Sighing, she swung the bag across her shoulders and walked in. What a day...