Chapter 30

Han Jisung

I guess everything is fine... Right? I mean, I'm getting therapy! I'm with Minho! What else could go wrong... Right? 

"Jisung? You seemed to space out a lot often... Are the therapies not giving you the peace of mind you deserve?" I turn around to see who was speaking to me. Minho... 

"Look... I-It's not t-that the therapies aren't w-working... I-I just..." I sighed, not wanting to trouble him more than I already am. 

"Jisung..." "I-I just... I-I don't w-want you to feel that y-you're obligated to help me..." Great... I'm getting weak again. In front of him. 

"Jisung, you don't make me feel that. I make myself feel that. I want to protect you as long as I can. As much as I can. I want to help you get better and whatever is the consequences. I want to make you happy." I couldn't look up to him. I'll break... 

"W-why..." 

"Why? Why would you need a reason to want to help someone you love the most?" 

"I-is it out of love... Or sympathy..." My voice broke as I kept looking at the ground. 

"J-Jisung... W-why would you think of it like that..." His voice slowly faded in like he's hurt by my words. 

"I-I'm sorry... I'm really sorry... But... I-I... I-I need time off... A-alone..." I turned my back at him, hanging my head low still. 

"I... O... Okay... I'll give... I'll give you the space you need..." 

Why would I doubt the person who stayed with me... Why... 

What's happening to you, Jisung... 

———

Lee Minho

"I suppose, I may be stepped on something too personal. I just want him to understand that I'm here for him..." I sighed as I made my way out of Jisung's apartment. 

"M-maybe I should ask for a week off... I don't think Jisung would want to see me..." I sighed again, shaking my head. 

"Get off it, darn it. You're strong in front of him and then you're so weak behind him. Dammit." Frustrated, I kicked the can rolling on the street. 

"Minho? Minho!" 

"Huh?" I turned around and saw my friend, San. 

Choi San of ATEEZ. I just debuted a bit earlier than him and on a different company, than what we planned. 

"Oh, hey! I didn't think I'll see you here. Its been quite a long time." I managed to give him a small smile. 

"Everything fine? I found out what your friend and co-member was going through. I'm sorry that he got to go through that." He patted my shoulder, a move I didn't know I needed. 

"Its fine, bro. I just need to be around him. It'll be fine. Everything will be fine. As long as I can stay beside him, right?" 

It was as if I was asking myself rather than him. I was unsure of what to do. If it's even the right thing to be around him. Especially because of that dream that brought him to this... 

"Come on, Minho. Cheer up! It'll be fine, I swear. I've been in that situation before and you helped me, big time. Well, I didn't need to see a therapist but still." He tried cheering me up but I can't see it working. I just pretended like I was cheered up. 

"Thank you. Seriously. Even though I know you're pretending I cheered you up, just know, I'm here if you ever needed a friend. You know. Like how you did for me? Before?" I smiled genuinely and nodded. 

"Thank you, bro." 

"No need to. Now I need to go, I need to meet up with Wooyoung. Things have been... Happening." A small blush rises up to his cheeks making me chuckle. 

"Sub." I managed to let out. He looked up to me almost immediately. 

"Hey! I'm not! He is! Not me!" His face turned redder and redder as he spoke making me laugh lightly. 

"Go on, lover boy. Good luck pretending you aren't a sub." I smirked at him before waving off. 

"Tsk... I swear, Minho... B-bye! Have a good day, I guess..." He went running off before I even know it. 

I smiled slightly, remembering when I first found out that I've fallen for Jisung. That night. When I brought him to the infirmary... 

"Is he gonna be okay?!" I asked the nurse for the hundredth time... Probably. 

"Again, Mr. Lee. For the fifth time. He's gonna be fine." Oh, it's just the fifth time. 

"Yes. I'm positive. I'm a nurse I know what I'm saying." The nurse sighed before going back to what she's doing. 

Seeing Jisung like this... Isn't okay... At all... 

After that, I just got the urge to help him. I got the urge to protect him. I got the urge to be beside him. Always. Even though I know there are times he won't like it... 

"Come on, Minho. Keep yourself together. You shouldn't break too. Who's gonna take care of Jisung? Come on." I talked to myself before taking a deep breath. 

"You got this. Just chill." 

———

"U-uh? Guys?" I looked around the dorm. Quiet? That's... Pretty odd? I put my coat on the rack, deciding to look around the dorm. They seemed fine when I left them this morning. Well, when Jisung and I left this morning. 

"Guys? No one seemed to be here... W-where are they..." I sighed, sitting down my bed. 

"I-I guess I can't talk to anyone..." I sighed again, shaking my head. "I'll live... I've always been like this... Alone..." 

Before I know it, I was a sobbing mess. 

No. I can't.

———

Han Jisung

"H-he really l-left..." I wouldn't lie, I feel regretful because of my actions. 

I'm sorry, Minho. I didn't mean to...

"I shouldn't let myself be used to them helping. Felix... Minho... I'm sorry." I sighed as hot tears streamed down my face. 

It's too much for me. Everything is too much for me. But I shouldn't rely on their help.

The only person that can make me feel better is me.