Chapter 18

Hwang Hyunjin

"The article... Is that true?"

"Are you a bully?"

"Is it what that article said, true?"

I tried my hardest to smile in front of them while they ask these questions. I always tried to change the topic.

I felt the need to cry but I can't. I need to make them see that I wasn't affected so they would stop bringing it up.

But every time I smile at them, the more I wanted—no I needed to cry. I might be a crackhead as what the fans say but I can't handle strong emotions.

I might be smiling at them but every smile equals to a knife stabbed into my heart.

"Hyung... Are you okay?" Seungmin lowkey asked me. I just nodded as I looked at a gift a fan gave me.

After some time, it's free time. We go in front of the table and made the fans choose which song should we sing. They choose 'Grow Up' so the song started playing.

My eyes are so teary and I tried to dry it up by blinking many times. It's such a bad coincidence that I'm the first one to sing.

https://youtu.be/yqJyHWMn2Ww

My verse came up and the lyrics just made my eyes go off. I couldn't control my tears anymore.

The others immediately came up to me. They slowly left leaving me with Seungmin.

"Hyung... I asked you if you're okay... You didn't tell me you're not..." He said with an odd voice. He patted me in the arm as I hold onto him for a matter of seconds using him to have the strength to even stand up straight.

Woojin hyung came to me, hugging me for a few seconds.

"Are you okay? We could stop this?" I shook my head. He broke the hug patting me in the back.

"Are you sure?" I shook my head.

"Alright."

Tried my hardest to smile. I wave my hands to the song's beat trying to distract myself from crying.

The song ended. But the pain doesn't.

"Hyunjin, I love you!"

"Hyunjin, I'm sorry!"

The fans shouted. I shook my hands as they say sorry. We sang some songs and I was thankful that Woojin left, making Seungmin go beside me.

He was holding my hand the whole time we sang two songs. It's our time to say goodbye. Finally.

"Hyung..." Jisung whispered, calling me after we entered the van. He's sitting beside me. He hugged me making me bawl my eyes out.

"Hyung..." Seungmin patted me in the leg as I kept crying and crying. The others in the back are quiet.

The two didn't talk. My sobs rang in the air but other than that, it's so quiet. No one wants to talk. They don't know how to comfort me too so they just simply made me cry in silence.

Jisung rubbed my back continuously as I cry in his shoulder.

"We're here." The drive seemed so short. I went up, wiping my eyes with my sweater paws. Jisung looked at me worriedly.

We came out of the van one by one. I came out third after Seungmin and Jisung. We all entered our house. I slowly walked towards the couch. I sighed as my eyes felt heavy because of all the crying that I have done today and yesterday.

"What's with you, Hyunjin? You could tell us. I know we could help you at some point." Chan flopped down the couch, softly rubbing my arm.

I looked at Changbin for help. The others are standing in front of us. Seungmin sat beside me. He has his arm around my waist.

"You should tell them, Hyunjin." Changbin sighed as he smiled at me. My hands shakily searched for my phone in my jean's pocket.

My hands were trembling when clicked the saved link that's on phone's home screen. I passed my phone to Chan. I can feel him froze as he passed my phone to the next member.

I waited for all of them to see the article before I said anything. Seungmin was the last to read what's on my phone. I saw how his hands shook.

"Hyung... Why didn't you tell me? Us?" Seungmin said with an odd voice. The one he has when he talked to me when I broke down a while ago.

"I... I just..." I heaved a deep breath, trying my hardest not to break down while talking.

"I just found out about that yesterday..." I said while looking at my feet.

"Then, why did you look at Changbin awhile ago?"

"Changbin hyung already knew that... He found my phone on the ground last night..." I explained with a shaky voice.

"That's why you're crying last night." I brought my head up when Minho spoke. I nodded.

"You still could've told us before we went to the venue," Seungmin said in dismay.

"Stop pressuring him. Make him rest. Go, Hyunjin. Go and get some sleep." Woojin said with a motherly smile.

"A-alright..." I stuttered as I stood up, going to Minho, Changbin and I's shared room.

I lay flat on my back as the article bothers my mins again. I bawled my eyes out again. But this time, I have more time to cry as Changbin and Minho didn't enter the room early.

Some moments later, I cried myself to sleep. I became unconscious, maybe because of how much I cried for the whole day and because of tiredness from all of our schedules throughout our album's promotion.

I just wished for this to stop.

———

Kim Seungmin

How dear them to hurt him?!

"Ugh." I groaned as I stared at Hyunjin's room.

If only a stare could make things on fire then the room's door will be burned to ashes with how strong my stare was.

I couldn't help but balled both of my hands.

"Yow, chill out!" Chan put his arm in my shoulders. He made my hands spread out.

"He would be fine. He's a strong man." Chan said as he tapped my shoulder.

"I hate those guys who made that article."

"We all do. Don't worry." Minho said. Finally with a soul.

"Hyung, don't worry! Hyunjin hyung can do it!" Jeongin smiled at me largely. Making me automatically smile. A small smile.

"Don't worry! Your honeybunch will be fine!" Woojin shouted from across the room. I cringed at the given nickname.

Ugh! It's such a mistake to tell him that I like Hyunjin!

I hate this life.