TAGS INCLUDED/ADDED: (Crying! OCD! Panic attacks! Hugs!)

Daniel grew up from the age of 7 having no control over his life. His mum and dad were constantly arguing and on the very few days they weren't, they were in a stony, unbearable silence. Daniel was one of 5 children, he was the youngest. The oldest was his brother, Mason. Then there was his oldest sister, Nicola. Then his twin brother and sister, Alex and Jennifer. Finally, there was Daniel. His real name wasn't Daniel, though. No, his real name was James. But that was besides the point. He wasn't planned, nor wanted. His siblings and parents made sure he knew this everyday.

Mason was 19 when Daniel was born, making him almost an entirely different generation. Daniel was born at a completely normal age for his parents, maybe they were a bit old, but that doesn't matter. They were 35 when they had him. Daniel's mum and dad were 16 and 17, respectively, when they had Mason. His dad's parents stopped having anything to do with him, whereas his mum's parents had ferociously driven her into believing abortions were the worst sin of all. So, she went through with all 4 pregnancies. Mason became hooked onto drugs after his friend roofied his drink when they went clubbing when Mason was 15.

There wasn't the security then as there is now.

Mason drained the bank account for the family buying his drugs. His parents had to pick up 2 jobs each just to afford them all. They eventually sent Mason off to rehab when he was 17, and he is still in and out. Mason is now 40.

His oldest sister, Nicola, was 15 when Daniel was born. She is a successful lawyer now, having graduated from Harvard as valedictorian. Nicola is 36 and owns her own law firm. Nicola moved from New York to San Francisco where her firm is based. She hardly ever speaks to them anymore. Probably too busy being ashamed that 2 of her siblings are enemies of the law, one of which had the FBI on his ass.

Next, was Jenny with Alex following 5 minutes behind. They were only 7 when Daniel was born, so Daniel is relatively close with them. Closer to them than his is to Nicola and Mason. Jenny and Alex are 28. Alex is married and working in a stable job at one of Nicola's firm, which is in New York, as manager of a department. Alex also has two children, neither of which Daniel has met, nor has he been invited to see them. Hell, he wasn't even invited to the Christening. (He went anyway, he was in that area with the horsemen already, but that's besides the point. It's not like he watched from the windows, no way) Daniel doesn't even know their names.

He sent a small package through the firm for them though. Only a cuddly toy each, a normal brown bear. One had a pink bow and the other had a blue bow-tie.

Daniel checked his brothers Facebook under the alias name of Jason Fischer. He had a daughter who was 3 and a son who was 1.

Daniel frequently chatted with Jenny over Facebook and on face-time. Jenny once came out to see him when he was staying in Vegas with the other horsemen. She came the day before the show, stayed that night and left after the show.

Jenny, as far as Daniel knew, was in medical school studying to be a midwife.

Daniel stopped speaking to his parents when he was 14, mere weeks before he ran away. Jenny was the one to hold 4 year old Daniel as he cried, asking where his mum and dad were. Jenny was only 11, and yet she was the most compassionate out of them all. Mason was in rehab (again) and Nicola was studying for her Harvard Law entry exams. She was accepted into Harvard while his mum was still pregnant and accepted into Harvard Law when she was 19. Alex was probably playing video games at his friends, just down the road.

When Mason permanently went into Rehab, and Nicola went into Harvard Law accommodation, and Alex was at his friends every night, Daniel would hang out with Jenny. She basically sacrificed her teenage years to mother him.

But one day, it all went to shit.

Daniel was turning 11. Mason and Nicola were already long out of the picture and Alex went on holiday with his friends. Jenny went on a University trip for the day, so it was down to Daniels parents to plan the party.

Daniel was very anti-social when he was younger. His parents had began to argue everyday when he turned 7. This lead to an even bigger rift in the household. His dad would yell and complain about having another mouth to feed and look after, while his mother tried to defend him, even though they all knew his dad was right. They would argue, his dad would throw things, his mum would curse at him and they'd storm off, leaving Daniel to watch free-tv.

His parents arguments progressively grew more and more aggressive, more curse words thrown, more vases broken and more cracks made. Daniel fell out with one of his school friends when he was 10 and called him a fat bastard.

He got suspended for a week and his dad beat him for the first time.

His mother lost her shit when she found out that he'd been beaten while she was at work and threatened to slit his dad's throat while he slept.

Every weekend when his mother had to work, his father would beat him if Jenny wasn't around. She tried to be around as often as she could, but Daniel told her not to worry, that he was a big boy. Jenny had smiled sadly and cuddled him all night until their dad stumbled in from work, shithoused on booze.

Jenny had scored a 100% unconditional scholarship to a prestigious medical university one day. Her siblings and parents heavily encouraged her to go, to live her dream out. She didn't want to leave Daniel with their dad, but he insisted she go.

So, she left. Daniel didn't see her again for over 5 years.

She went to Oxford University, in Oxford, United Kingdom.

Daniel's parents stayed together until the day his dad hit his mum. She broke his nose, grabbed Daniel's hand and pulled him out of the house. They stayed at a hotel, which Nicola payed for. She was always more fond of her mother than her father.

His mother eventually ran out of money and had to go back to his dad. He said the beatings would stop. They did. For a while. Daniel was 14 when he was beaten to the point of 911 having to come out. His mother was passed out on the sofa, and his dad left an hour before hand.

12 cracked ribs, 3 broken, concussion, bruising on the lung, broken knee and dislocated shoulder. They sent him back when his parents vehemently said he'd fallen down their stairs. His mother believed his dad, who was a lying scumbag.

Daniel ran away as soon as his painkillers ran out. His parents didn't bother to find him. Daniel found himself in a small magic shop and began practising.

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So yeah, that was his tragic backstory to his OCD. It might not seem like it has a bearing on it, but, it does. Having no control over how your parents act, how your siblings act? It fucked him up, big time.

He learned to have complete control over the little things. Like, how books were arranged, how the food was stocked, how many light switches they had, how many times he needed to pat down his body to make sure he had everything (6. It had to be 6. Not 4, not 5, not an odd number. 6)

He tried not to let the larger things bother him, but he couldn't help it. Like, when Merritt's hat was crooked slightly, or if Henley's top button was undone, he would snap at them to sort it out. Henley would stick up her middle finger and undo even more just to piss him off, but Merritt would just stare at him until he left.

Daniel's room was chaotically organised. His books were in alphabetical order in order of thickness (so, if Apples are red is only 20 pages, but Adam and Eve is 500, Apples are read would go first, with Adam and Eve last. Then, it would be Butterfly effect with 570 pages first in the B section, and Burties red bus at the end with 15 pages and so forth)

The clothes he would wear the next day were hung on his small chair in order of how they would be put on. (Hoodie last, shirt, socks, jeans, pants. In that order with his shoes underneath) His bed would be made when he first got up, after he'd opened up his curtains first. Then he would take his pills (anxiety and anti-depressants) and stare at himself in the small mirror on the wall. Then, he would put on his dressing gown and do himself breakfast. This normally took place at 8 am, while the others were still asleep. He would sit by the window and eat his cereal (always Cocoa-Krispies with half a bowl of green-topped milk) and debate his life choices that lead him to here. Then he would put his bowl in the empty dishwasher (which he had done before breakfast) and have a quick shower. He would scrub his head with the shampoo 6 times and wash it thoroughly. Then, he would wash his body. He would turn the shower off and walk into his room, where he would then check on his siblings through his alias name of Jason Fischer while he air dried. Then, he would put his clothes on and walk out with a book to the front area where the others would begin to wake up. As normal, Henley would be the first out and would sarcastically ask why he was up at the crack of dawn. (It was 10 am)

Life was good this way. Organised, and on a schedule.

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It was nearly a year after their first show. Daniel and the others were relaxing in the shared apartment for the first time in christ knows how long. As usual, Merritt's hat was crooked, Henley had forgotten her top button and Jack was asleep in the love-seat. Daniel was in the kitchenette rifling through the draws of seemingly endless paperwork trying to find something. He didn't know what he was looking for, but he needed something to keep his hands and mind busy.

It was Jenny's birthday. They'd tragically fallen out a little over 4 weeks ago and she had yet to speak to him again. Daniel feared she may not ever again. He had said some nasty words. She'd said them back as well, so neither one of them was innocent, but they were both far too stubborn to apologise first. Daniel had joked that they should have been twins.

Daniel roughly took all of the paper out of the drawer and bumped it shut with his hip as he began to sort through the papers. He planned to sort through them so they could go in order of date. As far as he could tell, the earliest date was August 3rd, 2009 and the latest date was 2 weeks ago, July 8th 2011. Daniel began to sort through them all when Merritt cleared his throat.

"Not that I don't appreciate you sorting through our papers, Danny-Boy, but is there a particular reason?" Daniel glanced up briefly before looking back down. "You're all so unorganised and messy, someone needs to keep you tidy." He proceeded to sort out papers ranging from September 2009 to November 2009.

"Danny, relax. We've just pulled off 3 really dangerous, but 3 really cool things. We deserve to rest," Henley spoke up. "I don't mind doing this. I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to, would I?" He snarked back. Henley rolled her eyes and changed the channel.

They found out about his OCD less than a month later.

Sure, Daniel suspected they knew he had some form of OCD, but he never paid too much mind to it. He hadn't heard from any of his siblings in the last 7 weeks. (Granted, the only one he'd heard of in the last year was Jenny, but even she wasn't speaking to him)

Daniel had gone out to get some food when it happened. He'd pat himself down 6 times, jiggled the door handle when he left 6 times and made his way to the shops. He came back, surprised to see the door unlocked. Daniel presumed that the others were back, so he began to put the shopping away in alphabetical order of date expiration. It was when he turned around that he lost his shit.

All the papers he'd sorted out were sprawled across the countertop, the books were all over the place, the sofa cushions were on the floor and creased to hell, there was plates from last nights dinner out and the rug was bumped up. Daniel, for some unknown (and probably stupid reason) felt his heart begin to speed up. The complete disorganisation of the room made his head spin and he felt slightly nauseous. He walked to his room, hoping to clear his head up with his system, but found it even worse than the front room.

His bed sheets were creased and half pulled off the bed, the pillows were haphazardly thrown near the headboard, his books were put into different places in his bookshelves, his clothes on the floor, his clothes for the next day were somewhere on his floor, his drawers were all pulled out.

Daniel's heart stopped. He felt his breath coming out shakily, and he pressed a hand to his chest. He dropped onto his bed, feeling lightheaded.

He's 11 again. Everything is out of control. Everything is everywhere, glass, broken plates, broken family frames, everything.

Daniel wasn't aware of the tears running down his face, or his whimpers.

Merritt was though. He'd come in through the front door and found the fridge wide open. He frowned as he walked down the hall to the bedrooms. There, he found Daniel's door open a crack. He pushed it open and found the second youngest showman having a panic attack on his bed.

Merritt had experienced a few himself.

"Daniel, buddy, I need you to speak to me. What's wrong? Focus on my voice." Daniel's eyes darted like a injured animals. "Ok, Daniel, I need you to tell me 5 things you can see. Go,"

"You, my shoes, the door, the walls, the mess," His breathing picked up. Shit. Merritt promised himself that he'd never do it, but needs must. He pressed a fist to Daniel's chest and pressed hard. "When I click my fingers, you will sleep. You will dream of a dreamless dream. You will not wake up for 12 hours. You will feel the overwhelming urge to close your eyes when they open. And, sleep," Merritt clicked his fingers. Daniel went limp against his body. He pushed Daniel onto the bed and left, pretending that he didn't just see the strongest horseman break down in front of him.

"Daniel, it's ok. You don't have to be ashamed about it! Everyone has a thing!" Henley had exclaimed when Daniel told them about his OCD... well, when he was forced to. They'd asked about his panic attack. What was he supposed to say? Anything would make him look weak! "Hell, I'm shit scared of germs, Merritt can't stand snakes and Jack can't say Ketchup without feeling sick." Jack shuddered, "Even hearing it makes me feel weird." Daniel still felt apprehensive about it, but ultimately, the secret was out now.

And, actually, he was a little bit glad it was.

The others began to help with more of his issues. Henley would make sure the books were in his order, Jack would keep on top of the dirty plates and Merritt would the papers.

Maybe having OCD wasn't as bad as he thought it was? The others never mentioned it to him, or questioned his methods again.