The front door swung open as Dominic rubbed one eye while in a robe with a mug full of coffee in his hand

Dominic:*incoherent mumbling*

Dominic took a sip from his coffee and yawned, opening his eyes fully and seeing a teenager standing a couple dozen feet in front of him clad in medieval armor

Dominic:*squint* What...?

Teen: Foul demon king! I have come to save the maidens you have imprisoned in your dark home and to save the world from your shroud of darkness!

Dominic:*sigh* Not this..not now..

Teen: I know you will not beg but if you surrender I will make your death swift and painless!

Dominic:*rubbing his eyes* Okay... look let me- just let me get ready first. Gotta do that stupid clothes thing..

He yawns and takes off the robe on his shoulders and holds it out in front of him and let's it fall to the ground and instantly he was fully clothed

Dominic: Oh wow how did I do that so cool...~

With an unenthusiastic tone in his voice, Dominic picked up his coffee and took a sip from it

Dominic: So who sent you?

Teen: I was sent on this noble quest by the-

Dominic:*cough* Uh huh..cool. I'll take over their kingdom or something after this.

Teen: Don't think it would be easy demon! For I have been given this holy blade by the fair priestess of-

Dominic: Is that Excalibur?

Teen: What?

Dominic: It that... Excalibur?

Teen: N-no. I am not worthy to wield.

Dominic: Oh good cause I have the real one. Or maybe Sapphire does...*shrug* Forget it.

Teen: Then our battle shall commence! Oh great goddess of light, give me your blessing so that I may vanquish this evil from our world and free all who are in his grasp.

Dominic:*scratching himself* You done? Look just don't step on my-

Teen:*runs on his lawn* HAAAAA!!

Dominic: Lawn...*sigh*

With inhuman speed, cause that's his thing, Dominic whips out a revolver and blows the kneecap off the charging hero making him fall face first in the grass

Teen: AAAH!! AAAH!!

Dominic: I don't have a lot of things that make me happy, well I have a lot of people but the one thing that makes me really happy is my lawn.

He continues talking through the screams of the "hero" bleeding out on his lawn

Dominic: You know kid I didn't need some fancy sword of legend or a goddess to help reincarnate me to get me where I am today. I was dirt poor after my mansion burned down. Nobody helped me. I got my life out of the gutter and look where I am now. I have many wives and children and now some fool thinks they can take that away from me. Well..your goddess never met a demon from the fucking STREETS!!

Dominic punted his coffee cup at the hero hitting him in the face with it and then punching him repeatedly

Dominic: Get up! Fight back! Come on kid! Fight back!

Teen: I caaaan't!!!

Giving him a few more blows to the head, Dominic runs inside and comes back out with his old Duel Academy duel disk and started beating him with that too.

Throwing away the device, Dominic drags the would be hero to the curb and whistles out to the street and spun his finger in the air. Five cars zoom out of hiding and pull up to Dominic doing doughnuts in the street while laughing. They then transform into giant robots and kneel before Dominic

Motormaster: My Lord.*smacks Dead End* Kneel your head idiot! The king is here!

Dead End: I am dipshit! You just can't see anything cause your optics are always looking down!

Dominic: Silence! You..!

Dominic points at the drag racing deception

Drag Strip: Y-yes sir?

Dominic: Drag Strip. Drag this piece of trash around the block a few times and see if he wants to "save the fair maidens" now.

The Stunticons giggle amongst themselves and look at the hero who was looking at the colossal mechanical beings grinning at him.

Motormaster: C'mere runt!

Grabbing the hero in his massive hand, Motormaster tied the hero to the back of Drag Strip using chains. They laughed again as Drag Strip revved his engines and slowly started driving away

Motormaster: Put the pedal to the metal Drag Strip!

Drag Strip: Whatever you say!

The yellow drag racing deception revs his engine and starts to drive in place with his teammates transforming and taking their places beside him

Dead End: Your orders sir!

Dominic: Show him why your kings of the road. And get him out of my sight.

The five man team drive off laughing as the hero screams are being deafened by the sound of their engines roaring as loud as their laughing

Dominic:*sigh* Almost lost my cool..

Shrugging his shoulders, Dominic walks back to his home and slams the door shut behind him.