Dear Readers,

The update was delayed because we had a temporary power outage because of a snow storm. The power restored a few hours back, but the season is pretty back. We have a winter advisory warning in effect. Thankfully everyone is safe. I am grateful to everyone who has asked  about our well being. 

Thank you to everyone who has voted and has taken an active part in the comments section.

This is an unedited draft of the book, meaning there will be several grammatical errors, name mismatches, plot discrepancies, and other sematic errors. If that is something you find offence, please do not proceed further.

The book is made available on Wattpad for feedback, once feedback is collected the book will be pulled from the platform, sent for professional editing and then published on Amazon kindle as a part of its unlimited program.

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Good day,

Swati Sandeep

As the clock struck seven Dhruv made his way to the kitchen. Usually he had the breakfast prepared by that time, but it was no ordinary day. He was still hurting, but he wouldn't let his family starve. His body protested the lack of nutrition. He had not eaten the day before. He was used to fasting, but even then he never went between meals for 24 hours.

Falling sick meant he would have to take a day off work. An unplanned break could cost profits and he needed the money to repay the second mortgage. For a second resentment filled inside him. The mortgage was taken with a reason. He always thought of the money as an investment to Dev's future. Now he knew differently.

Music industry was highly unstable. Success could come with talent, he had no doubt about it, but to remain successful a person had to make sacrifices, prepare himself for disappointments. If there was glory in the industry, it also had its pitfalls. No one was your friend, every moment a competition. To survive without contacts was a miracle.

Several stars debuted every year and faded away. Some of them forgotten forever. Lost in the depths of despair. Their own father was a classic example. Abhishek let his ambitions and dreams destroy himself and their family. Dhruv could forgive the passion but what he could not forgive was that the man distanced himself from his family when they needed him the most. Dev never knew a father's love. The only memories the kid had of their father was of an alcoholic who liked to drown his despair in booze.

Abhishek let his wife struggle to maintain their family. He was so lost in his grief that he did not realize that his family was struggling to make the ends meet. He did not realize that his kids had to switch schools to be able to afford education. Dev never got the same education they got. Dhruv tried his best to get him admission in a good school, but then Dev wanted to learn music. The classes did not come cheap. He tried to make his mother understand that Dev could learn music later. The formative years were important. He wanted Dev to have quality education, but their mother wanted to fulfil Dev's wishes.

Dhruv could not blame her for wanting to give her child what he wanted. She was already dealing with several disappointments, and Dhruv did not wish to add on to her troubles. He could barely speak a word against her without sparking an argument. Thanks to his father, his mother was always frustrated. Dhruv gave in to her pleas in the end, but those years were not easy on anyone. Shanti chose the best music school for Dev. She was ready to pawn off jewelry for the fee, but Dhruv could not let her do it. The jewelry was the only thing that she was left with.

So, he took up odd jobs to fund the education. The jobs kept him away from home for hours. He barely got to see his family anymore. Neither Dhriti nor his mother liked the hours he put outside. His mother wanted him to concentrate on his career, and Dhriti wanted him home. She had no one to talk to and he could not be there for her. Those were the toughest years of their life.

Only after Dev's training finished were they able to get a little breather. Thankfully Dhruv had established a name for himself in the food business. He did not have to work four jobs to earn a decent income. A reputed restaurant signed him as the chef and he was able to earn a decent income. Things were slowly getting worse when their father met with the crash while driving and their life spiraled once again.

Only after their father died did they realize how many loans he had taken. The creditors wanted repayment. The banks needed repayment. His mother was the consignee for most of the loans, so everything they owned was threatened. Soon they lost everything. Things went from bad to worse, no one stepped to help. Even their grandparents shut them out. Dhruv could not blame the couple for doing it.

When the elderly couple needed a shoulder to cry, they stepped back in fear. His mother wanted their family safe and chose to cut off ties with them. So when they did not respond in kind, Dhruv did not take offense, but it still hurt. They never knew their grandfather but their grandmother was always a constant in their lives. Even when Yash Randhawa did not accept their parents' marriage, she was always there for his father.

They had grown up knowing their grandmother's love. The woman who sang them lullabies as children, soothed their wounds, brought them presents, turned away in their time of need. Dhruv wished he could resent her, but he could never forget the seventeen years of love and affection. Nor could he fault Dhriti for hating them. In the end they did lose their father because they did not have funds. Where Dhriti and his mother blamed the Randhwa's for their lack of empathy, he blamed his father for his recklessness.

As troubles increased at the homefront, his resentment for Abhishek grew. His father was his hero, and when he betrays you, it leaves you bitter. Dhruv did not realize when his resentment channeled to everything his father held dear. Music betrayed his father and his father betrayed them. Anything related to music reminded him of their father and he shut it out of his life, unable to deal with the pain.

Dhruv took a deep breath to control his emotions. He was a very vocal person and never shied away from expressing his distaste for music and the music industry. He never paused to think his resentment was affecting his siblings. Dhriti never showed any interest in music, and he did not have any qualms about sharing his frustration with his twin. Every time he saw youngsters forming bands, he was reminded of his father's plight. He wanted someone to prepare them about the harsh reality of life.

Little did he know that his own sibling had different aspirations. Dev never spoke about music classes again nor did his mother ask about them. When the time came for Dev to choose a career Dhruv was well settled to sponsor his brother's education. Dev was an excellent student. Dhruv could not be more proud. Dev's scores made sure that he could get admission into any college of his choosing. Dhruv had no idea what was the best field, so he let Dhriti take over the boy's education.

He did not have the confidence to give Dev advice. His own career was an easy choice as he chose something he liked. He was ready to support Dev's aspirations, but his mistake was that he never sat his brother down and had an honest discussion with him. He never asked him what he wanted.

The boy shared every tiny detail with him. He knew everything that happened in Dev's life, or so he thought, but for the first time he realized he knew nothing. The boy did not trust him with his ambitions or Dhruv was not approachable enough. He should have spent more time with Dev. He should have gone easy. With Dhriti being so easy going, Dhruv was scared that the boy would take things easy in life.

Maybe if he had behaved more like a brother and less like a guardian, Dev would have trusted him with his dreams. Dhruv felt like a complete failure. He could neither become a good guardian nor a good brother. Even his twin could not trust him with the truth.

Dhruv opened his eyes when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He did not have to look to know who it was. Dev's touch always brought comfort but for the first time Dhruv stepped back. Dev's eyes filled up but he did not press. He had come down to prepare breakfast. His Bhaiya had not eaten dinner the night before. He wanted to make sure he had something to eat.

Dhruv did not know what to say to Dev. He had so much to say, but if he spoke the boy would be hurt. Dhruv was not sure if he was in control enough to voice his feelings. He did not want them coming out as accusations. He had already lost his child's trust, he did not wish to damage whatever relationship they were left with.

Dev handed him the coffee he brewed. He had so much to say, but was terrified to voice his emotions. He had broken his Bhaiya's trust, if he said something wrong, Dhruv might not forgive him. He already lost his brother's trust, he could not risk their relationship. Silence was his only option.

Tears rushed to his eyes but he blinked them away and quietly made his way back to the gas table. He was preparing sandwiches when he heard his Bhaiya come in. He served two sandwiches on a plate and brought it to the kitchen table.

"Aapne kal raat se kuch nahi khaya, Bhaiya. Please khalejeye. (You have not eaten anything since last night, Bhaiya. Please have something.)"

Dhruv's eyes flickered with emotion. The boy was not even looking at him. He wanted Dev to look at him. He wanted the boy to tell him why he hid the truth. He did not doubt for a second that Dev loved him. Love was never the problem. It was trust.

"Tune khaya? (Did you eat?)"

Dev looked away. The more he tried the more the tears refused to subside. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to hug him and tell him how sorry he was for what he had done but was terrified.

Dhruv did not reach for the sandwich. The awkwardness between them made him restless. He considered the boy his own and yet he felt like a stranger. He did not know how to bridge the gap between them and that killed him from the inside.

Dhruv made his way to the gas stove to prepare breakfast. Cooking helped him relax. He needed something to do. His hands itched to pull the boy into his arms, but he feared that Dev did not want comfort from him. He wished Dhrti would come down. The boy needed to be held. He had seen the pain and fear in Dev's eyes. Dhruv never realized that he had given Dev reason to fear him. He was indeed the guardian from hell. No doubt Dev did not trust him.

Dev could not hold back his tears. His bhaiya was so upset with him that he was not willing to eat the food he prepared. He rushed out of the kitchen before he broke down and begged. Dhruv needed time to forgive him. He did not wish to emotionally blackmail his brother. Dhruv had every right to be angry. He would have to learn to deal with the anger.

Dheer sat in the local cafe, staring aimlessly at the coffee he ordered. He did not know how long he was sitting there, but he could not make himself go back to the house. The siblings needed to talk and he knew his presence would only complicate things. So he kept his distance. He wanted Dev to sort things out with Dhruv. They needed to have an open conversation. That was the only way to bridge the gap. Dhruv needed to understand Dev's fear and Dev needed to hear that Dhuv would have his back no matter what.

"Can I sit here?" A gentle voice startled Dheer out of his thoughts. Asisha stood with a food tray, with a slight hesitation itched across her features. The cafe was bustling with a crowd. Every other table was occupied.

Dheer nodded his head. He wanted to be left alone but was occupying the table without reason. He could not say no. Aisha set the tray on the table and took her seat. She was in a hurry to leave for her music class. She usually had her breakfast at home but with her mom visiting her uncle, she and her father had to fend for their own. Though Aisha could whip a good meal, she could not multi-task.

Morning rush always put her in a foul mood, so she and her father had breakfast and lunch outside, and she cooked dinners. Aisha bit into her sandwich in a hurry. The metro would leave in thirty minutes, she did not have time to waste. She was almost done with the first sandwich when she noticed Dheer's untouched coffee. The man was only staring at the coffee.

"Do you like cold coffee?"

Dheer eyes met hers again. The blank look told her that the joke was lost on the man. She sighed and offered him an untouched sandwich. Eating on her own seemed awkward. Dheer shook his head. He was not hungry.

"Have it, they really make good ones."

Dheer wanted to say no but she wrapped the sandwich in tissues and passed it over. It would be rude to say no so he took a polite bite, intending to put it down, but the spice took him by shock. He was immediately taken by a fit of coughs. Aisha passed him the glass of water immediately. His face was turning into a deep shade of red.

"Are you okay?" Her beautiful eyes filled with worry. Dheer set the sandwich down and finished the water in a go. He could feel the burn in his throat.

"How do you eat that, ma'am?" He said once he felt better.

"Ayisha" Aisha refilled his glass. She had never seen anyone react so much to spice before. She wanted to smile but did not think he would be amused. "You can call me Aisha."

Dheer nodded his head.

"Try this. It will make you feel better." She pulled out a small box from her purse and opened it for him. Inside were besan ladoos that her grandmother had prepared. They were the best. She never shared it with anyone, but seeing his condition, she felt compelled to compensate.

Dheer gave the ladoos a skeptical look. The sandwich was still making him burn.

"Basan ladoo hai. (It's besan ladoo.) Prepared from desi ghee. This will not hurt."

Dheer sighed and reached for the ladoo. He was not a sweet person, but he needed something to numb the burning sensation. He took a bite, ready to gulp the taste away with water, but the taste took him by surprise.

"Ache hai na? (They are delicious. Aren't they?)"

Dheer nodded his head. They were the best he had ever tasted. Almost at par with the motichoor ladoo his gammy often prepared.

"So you don't like spice?"

Dheer shook his head. The mindless conversation helped him relax. He did not realize he needed to unwind. The situation at home was making him restless. He really needed a break.

"Then what are you doing at this place? There is barely anything that is mildly spiced."

Dheer sighed, that was the reason he only had coffee. Dev had warned him to stay clear of the space. It was a local favourite, but it was just not for him. Aisha shook her head. The man barely spoke a word, and she loved to chat. She did not wish to annoy him with her jabbering. They sat in silence as she finished her breakfast. Dheer needed to leave, but he was taught to not leave the table when the other person was not done. Though she was technically a stranger, Dheer still found himself waiting for her to finish.

Once done they rose together. Dheer dumped his untouched coffee in the trash bin. Aisha shook her head at the wastage but did not comment. They were about to part ways when she remembered about the news she had seen in the evening.

"Dev has done very well. Please pass him my congratulations."

Dheer wanted to palm his face. At a time when they should be celebrating the boy's success, they were busy dealing with the fall out. His heart went out to the boy. "I will." He forced the words out.

"Since Mr. Randhwa knows about his classes, will he be coming to me for lessons?"

Dheer had no clue. Now that Dhruv knew everything, it was a lot more complicated. He would refuse to give Dev the money he needed for the classes. That would be mean, but it was Dhruv's money. He had the right to make a decision. If he did that, Dev would have no way to finance the classes, or the VoN. Dheer did not wish to think about it, but he was a practical man and could not overlook any possibilities.

"Probably." Dheer tucked his hands in his pockets. "I will talk to him about it."

They made their way outside together. The city was busy, with everyone hurrying around. Everyone had their own problems, no one had time to concern themselves about the neighbor. That's the way of life.

"How did Mr. Randhwa take the news?"

Dheer remained silent. Aisha sighed, she knew it was a personal question, but she could not help but ask. She felt very deeply about deceptions. She hoped Dev had confessed himself. She didn't know much about the Randhawas but their neighbors were all praises about Dhruv. Everyone admired the man for taking up responsibility for his siblings. Such men were very rare to be found. Dhruv could have walked away from his responsibilities and focused on his life. No one would have blamed him for it.

Aisha was nine when she lost her biological mother. Her father remarried within days, her step-mother did not want her around so her father dumped her at her grandmother's place. Aisha was heartbroken and shattered, but her aunt and uncle came to her rescue. Though they had two sons of their own, her mother's sister had not hesitated to take her as her own. She offered her everything decent in life.

With time her uncle and aunt became her mother and father. She could not be more blessed. She owed her very existence to them. Like Dhruv they could have chosen to ignore her distress, but they did not. That made them her masiha's. You never betray your masiha. She felt very strongly about it. She hoped the siblings had done the right thing by Dhruv. Betrayal was acceptable, especially from people you loved! There were no two ways of thinking about it.

Dhruv finished with dishes and cleaned the counter. His head was throbbing. He needed to eat. Neither Dhriti nor Dev came down for breakfast. Dhruv was not used to eating on his own but he sat down to eat. Falling sick was not an option.

He had prepared parathas for everyone, but he only ate the sandwich that Dev prepared for him. His eyes filled up as he took the first bite. The boy had taken the trouble to make it the way he liked. Dev always knew what he liked and went over and above to please him. Why could not the boy not trust him with the truth?

His alarm buzzed, reminding him that the day would not wait for him. He had to go to the restaurant. Dhruv finished the sandwich and quickly packed Dev and Dhriti's lunch. His twin was upset. He knew she would not eat much, so he prepared the rajma chawal that she liked. They needed to talk, but Dhriti had not come down, which meant she was not ready for the conversation. He did not have the heart to seek her out.

Somewhere he could understand Dev's apprehensions. He was only a child but Dhriti was his best friend. His twin. She knew him better than anyone else. If she even gave him a hint of Dev's ambitions he would have found a way to deal with his own resentments. Music made him apprehensive. He would not have welcomed the decision with a big smile. They would have definitely argued about it, but he would have given in. Despite his resentments he did not believe in imposing his will on anyone.

When he chose to become a chef, his mother did not tell him that it was a useless profession, rather she sat him down and explained to him that he might not make it big in life. She and his father prepared him for the realities of his choice. They did not discourage him, nor did they let him walk into it clueless.

Had he known about Dev's dreams, he would have done the same, but he would have also made sure that his brother had something to fall back on. Some kind of formal training that would act as a backup plan. Dhruv shrugged away the thought. It was his own fear talking. He didn't even know what the corporate world demanded, and it was obvious that his siblings did not think he was capable of giving any advice related to careers. Dhruv needed to stop imposing himself.

They did this because you are overbearing. The voice in his head whispered. They did it because you cannot stop talking about money. You are responsible for their actions. Stop looking for excuses. You are pathetic.

Dhruv wanted to block out the hurting words, but he could not shy away from the truth. He had indeed behaved like a despot. He rushed into his room. The more he stayed there the more he would think about it. His siblings would talk when they were ready to. They all needed time.

As he reached for the chef's uniform from the closet, his eyes landed on Dev's phone. Dev's tear filled eyes flashed in front of his eyes. He had raised his hand to the boy for misplacing the phone. How could he expect the kid to come to him with his dreams? He was the one who had pushed him away.

Dhruv changed into the uniform and reached for the phone. He had made so many mistakes that he could not even undo them. It was best if he let Dhriti handle Dev. It would be best for everyone. With the decision made he made his way to the kitchen again and saw Dev at the sink. Dev turned around when he heard the footsteps. He had come to help with the dishes but the kitchen was cleared up and the dishwasher was running. There was nothing left for him to do.

Dhruv placed the phone on the table with a couple of thousand notes. Dev asked for the money two days before. It had slipped his mind. That was another strike against him. He willed the boy to say something, but Dev only stood there with his head lowered. Dhruv walked away. The silence was harder to take than the truth. It showed him how much he had lost.

Dev could not hold back his tears. If Dhriti was there she would not have let Dhruv walk away. She would have made him sit and told him everything. Dev knew even Dhriti was eager to resolve the misunderstanding, but their neighbor's father had come down with a stroke in the morning. Their panicked neighbor had come knocking at their door.

Though Dhriti wanted to stay back, she was a doctor first. She was sworn to save lives. She had gone with the man, but the case was complicated so she had to go to the hospital with them. Now they had to wait until Dhrti was back home.

Dev did not have the courage to say anything when his Bhaiya looked so upset. More than that he was worried that if he said something wrong, Dhruv and Dhriti's relationship would take a hit. He could not let that happen. After he lost his parents his siblings became his parents. He never wanted for anything in life because they sacrificed everything to make sure he was comfortable. If Dhruv was like a father to him, Dhriti took his mother's place. She always put him first, fought for him, stood for his dreams. She even went against Dhruv to make sure he did not compromise. Dev could never think about hurting her. His only option was to wait!