October 1976

I felt a giant weight on top of me as I came to the realization that I was awake. I slowly opened my eyes to see that I was surrounded by the band. "Get out of my room." I covered my face.

"Baby the reviews are in," Harry said from on top of me. I rolled over and felt my head throbbing, last night was way too wild. I took it too far, again.

Reviews? What fucking reviews? Wait- oh damn I knew there was a reason for me drinking so much last night.

Everything became crazy after our song came out on the radio. It exploded in a way, every station had begun playing it over and over and people began buying our album. Record shops sold out within days and we had become the talk of the new wave of music coming in or out of New York.

Last night we performed at a pretty big night club in the city, fans lining up to see us and according to our manager, there was a man coming to see us specifically to write a review for a magazine.

I sat up taking the magazine from Harry and cleared my throat as I read out the words telling us if we were as bad as I thought. "...the Lips, most likely taking the name because of the lead singer 'blondie's' pretty pout, were a sight to see. This band of six included two guitarists, a bass player, drummer, and keyboard player all really know how to play, but it was the blonde on stage dancing and singing her heart out that really made the band stand out. There was never a dull moment and I truly never wanted the set to end."

"Anything else?" the guys asked.

I flipped the page and shook my head. "Good review, he recommends- oh boy." I stopped. "...although the group should change their style to the music of now instead of the 'new wave' to a more danceable disco."

"Fuck disco its trash," Harry cursed. I gulped a bit, I actually was enjoying the music but the guys were so against it.

I set the magazine down and stood to follow the guys into the next room of mine and Harry's place. A few months ago we all began making some money and decided to move separately for the most part. Josh and Mitch lived together while the other two lived in studios. Harry and I rented an apartment in Manhattan so it was normal for the guys to crash after a performance here.

"Guys what we have is a decent fucking review. Besides the shitty career advice, can we please move on?"

They all agreed, leaving a few minutes later. This week we were back in the studio and had rehearsals for a few gigs in LA again, we got the chance to perform with a few bands from the CBGB. It was a huge deal so this review was important. These shows were like a small tour up the west coast and we didn't want to be the worst band on the list.

Harry stood drinking a cup of coffee and watched as I spaced out for a minute. "What are you thinking?" I shrugged before telling him I was just hungover. "Can we talk about that prick last night?"

Harry hated the Ramones, a group of guys who like us had an album come out and were on the rise. We were touring with them and a few other bands like us who were known but not as high profiled as other rock bands. "He didn't know I was married honey, I don't understand why you're jealous, not one of those Ramones are cute." He still looked irritated. "Let's go out to eat and we can lash it out later." I pinched his cheek.

We sat at our favorite diner across from each other as Harry ate his breakfast. A fan came by and wanted our autograph before leaving us to ourselves. It happened more now than before, a person seeing me or one of the guys and wanting us to sign something. Girls always did that with Harry who would end up signing their breasts.

"I've been thinking about this trip to LA and I'm not looking forward to being one of like, three girls there."

"We'll be apart from anyone else, it will be me and you and I'll kick any fucking one of those pricks ass if they so much as look at you wrong." I rolled my eyes looking out the window of the diner to see across the street. I gasped, there in front of a flower shop was my mother. she looked older, tired, and had a baby inside of a stroller with her. She spoke to the woman of the shop and smiled gently. "Debra?" I turned to Harry and looked back to see that she was gone.

"I think I just saw my mother?" he turned to see, but I knew she had left.

"Do you want to go look for her? Perhaps she misses you too?" I scoffed and shook my head. "Doll, I know you miss her, even if she was crazy she's your mother and you love her." I didn't know if I missed her, but the anger was bigger than the need for her. She left me, even if I did run away, she never looked for me and I'll be damned if I was going to go up to her and not yell at her.

"She doesn't miss me, I haven't left the city my face was in posters all over lower Manhattan, for fuck's sake I was on the radio." I sighed, "I can't forgive the fact that the man she married grabbed me and tried to violate me, I refuse." The reminder of him made Harry angry again.

We finished our breakfast and went for a walk. It was nice to just go down the street and try to get some air. Everything felt normal until a fan walked by us and began crying because she had just bought our album and got us to sign it.

It was definitely a great feeling, but still, something to get used to.

A few days later we were going to be performing at a party hosted by our manager. We dressed in our nicer outfits and I went in with Harry to a nice mansion he recently moved into. We separated into groups, Josh and I headed to the food table to grab a plate. I wore a short sparkly dress with some dark legging, trying to stand out but still be comfortable. My hair was a bit wild compared to some of the women here. I got a few looks from a familiar face I recognized as Jules sister.

A few months prior, I was drunk and spilled my drink on her. She began calling me trash and telling me that I was a hot mess. I told her I knew I was a hot mess but better a mess than to look like I have a sick up my ass. I sometimes wish I didn't have such an attitude, but spending so much time with Harry has really ruined my knowledge in talking to people, or manners in general. On the other hand, I wasn't as shy anymore.

Jules sister, Jasmine came up and kissed both sides of my cheeks. I was confused, but then I realized Jules was with her. "How's my shining star?"

"Fine, just eating before the show." He pinched my cheek and put his arm around my waist. He was drunk and I was hoping Harry would come and put his arm around me so I can feel safe. Men thought because they were older, had money, or anything really, that they could just touch me whenever and it pissed me off. Luckily Harry did show up a minute later and quickly Jules moved his arm and I leaned into Harry.

"Harold my boy this is my sister Jasmine, Jasmine this is Harry the guitarist." Harry politely tried to shake her hand, but she quickly hugged him, kissing his cheeks.

Harry looked uncomfortable as he awkwardly spoke to her. "Yeah, nice to meet you too." Something about the way she stared at him made me feel enraged to bits, because clearly as he kissed my cheek and had his hand on my ass, she should be able to tell we were together. Yet, she still eyed him like meat. "Anyways we have to get on stage, excuse us, love?" He directed towards me as I followed him towards the band set up. "she's creepy."

"She's a bitch, I don't want her kissing you, you're mine," I told him sternly. He put his hands on my waist and laughed.

"Believe me I only want you, unless you include someone in the bedroom." he teased. "Let's just finish this and go to a bar, all they have here is wine and Champaign." I kissed him and went on stage. While performing I could see a familiar photographer and made sure that afterward, I would talk to him.

Louis Tomlinson had been a great photographer over the past few years. I had met him and had a few conversations with him. He stood by the bar when I caught up to him. "Louis hey?" he smiled, giving me a quick hug.

"Blondie, been meaning to talk to you, you seem to be the only person I know well enough on this trip to LA." He explained that he was one of the photographers and I was really excited because he wasn't like other photographers who were rude.

I dealt with one in particular who always said inappropriate things to me and tried to get a photo of under my skirt.

Harry broke his camera.

"Who are you staying with?"

"Well where ever the photographers will stay, kinda have to stay with my own. Most of the bands already think they're the stones or some shit," he grumbled. I told him he was free to stay in our room but then he told me something I didn't know about. "Jules said that we were going to be in busses." Ohh great now I have to be on a bus for four days with a bunch of morons.

"Well please stay with us, I actually like you and Harry's warming up." he smiled and agreed.

I wonder who else would be on the bus.

Thanks for reading. Xx

-K