ONE SHOT FOR Fame

[Song: Hurt by Christina Aguilera]

It’s been years. The fans have grown, so have the boys, and so has Louis’ daughter. She’s five now, but the person that hasn’t grown was Louis. Physically speaking, yes he did grow. But emotionally and spiritually? No.

When little Eleanor is at school and Violet id working, Louis would use that time wastefully. He would lock his bedroom door and sit on his bed before breaking down into tears. He would glumly look over at Violet’s side of the bed and picture his beautiful Eleanor there. Not Violet.

His life wasn’t supposed to go on like this. He wasn’t supposed to marry Violet. Little Eleanor wasn’t supposed to be his and Violet’s daughter.

It killed him to think this, but it was all a mistake. Eleanor Calder was supposed to be his wife and the mother of little Eleanor. Not Violet; however, he can’t go back in time and redo everything. That’s what kills him, too. As much as he tells his wife and mates that he’s doing better after his former girlfriend’s suicide, it was just a plain and simple lie so others wouldn’t ask further questions about Eleanor.

Nobody knows that Louis imprisons himself in his own bedroom as he completely loses it. Every memory comes rushing back to him creating more pain. It aches his whole body, his whole soul to even think of her. 

Louis would mutter prayers that he’ll do anything just to see her face, just to be able to look into her twinkling hazel eyes, just to be able to hold her, and to be able to hear her mumble she loved him back. Anything. He would do anything.

But that was all wishes.

Is this how he’s going to live his life? Hide his pain away from the world, from his family? Is he just going to keep the secret that he’d rather spend the rest of his life with Eleanor rather than Violet? If Violet ever find out, she would surely leave him. The subject alone of Miss Calder would pinch Violet in the wrong way. She would never admit it, but Violet hates her.

It was wrong to hate a dead girl, but she does. She hated that Eleanor was still in Louis’ mind and heart. She hated that Eleanor was still a part of her husband. What she feared the most was that Louis still loved his dead girlfriend more than his present day wife. She didn’t have the guts to ask him if he did mostly because she feared it was true.

Right now, Louis is sitting right in front of Eleanor’s grave. His trembling hands set the bouquet of mixed flowers on top of the gravestone. The shaking fingers dragged slowly on the engraved letters, feeling them.

“Why did you leave me,” He mumbled trying his hardest not to tear up, “We were supposed to be forever.”

We still are, her melodic smooth voice whispers in his mind.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “God fucking damn it, Eleanor,” Louis’ hands run through his brown locks, “I need you. I really fucking need you right now. It’s been nearly six and a half years since you left and I can still see your face so clearly that it seems like it was yesterday since I last saw you.

“I need you so bad right now. There’s not a day that goes by without me rummaging through the box of our memories I keep hidden in the closet. I, uh, kept the majority of your things, El. Your mum has the rest and I even let Harry have something to keep of you. I’m just so bloody sorry for ruining your life. You were so beautiful and such a gift to this world and I—I just ruined it. I ruined your life by letting you enter my life. There are days where I question was it a mistake for us to meet or was it the greatest gift God has ever give to me?

“If we’ve never met, then I wouldn’t have had the great pleasure of falling in love with you and—you’d still be here. But since we did meet, my fame got in the way of our relationship. And may I add… the best relationship I’ve ever been in.”

Louis shakes his head again, letting his hair ruffle a bit with the cold wind blowing. The leaves rustle about between the graves and upon the dead grass. He frowns slightly at the gray colored stone that marked Eleanor’s grave. He hated coming here. He didn’t like the idea that his one true love (and only) was buried ten feet below and trapped in a casket.

A single tear dropped from his oval shaped eye and rolled down his red cheek. “I’d do anything just to see your face again.” He mumbled.

As Louis fiddled around with the grass and remembered bittersweet Elouner moments, a voiced called his name from behind. It was Harry Styles.

“You come here often,” Harry questions before taking a seat right next to his old band mate.

Louis scoffs and wipes his tears away with the ends of his coat sleeve. “I’d want to say yes, but I actually don’t. Judging by your appearance here, Harry, I’m guessing you’re the one who comes here often.”

Harry chuckles lightly. “I do as a matter of fact.”

“I don’t like that you do.”

“And I don’t blame you for that.”

“Well I blame myself. I feel like I’m the one that caused her death. It kills me so much that it drives me to the brink of almost killing myself.” Louis admits shamefully.

His old friend frowns. “If you ever committed suicide, Louis, I’d fully become mad.”

Louis huffs.

“I’m serious.” Harry comments.

“I appreciate that.”

The two stay silent. Louis closes his eyes and mentally slaps himself for not being kinder to Harry. As much as it pained him all over to even look at the boy, he still was his best friend. His best mate; however, a part of him would never look at him the same. A part of him saw him as partially the reason why his love killed herself.

Vice versa, too. Louis can’t blame Harry for falling in love with Eleanor, either. She was gorgeous. She was the whole package; she was kind, funny, intelligent, witty, and caring. Every quality she held was what every single individual man looked and admired in a woman. But then Louis feels very bad for his friend. Eleanor loved Louis, not Harry. She died loving Louis and not Harry. He couldn’t imagine having the person he cared about the most dying with their love sent out for someone else. That was just plain cruel. But Louis was lucky enough to be worthy of her heart.

The long pause between the two British lads didn’t seem anything harmful or awkward. It was a peaceful silence. Both enjoyed being accompanied by each other while they basked in Eleanor’s spiritual presence. There was no thick suffocating tension going on. It was nice.

Though, Harry decided to break it. “So… how’s Eleanor?”

Louis turned to look at Harry. He examined his grass green eyes that were outlined with redness, probably from tears. Under those eyes were purple bags most likely caused by insomnia. Harry’s hair was frizzy and messy. He didn’t look very well. But neither did Louis. “My daughter Eleanor or gone Eleanor?”

“Daughter.”

Louis sighed. “She’s well. She looks a lot like her mother than me, but that’s all right. She’s still beautiful.”

“Do you ever wish that Eleanor, your daughter, wasn’t Violet’s?” Harry suddenly asks as Louis turns to him with shock.

“Sorry that was a stupid question—“ Harry stammers.

“No,” Louis interrupts, “It wasn’t a stupid question because I often ask it myself.”

Harry looks down at the ground in sadness. He was sad because he knew that Eleanor Calder’s death caused a greater impact on Louis. It made him sad that Louis questioned that if his daughter was a mistake or not. Harry couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to look at your own daughter, your own creation and think… is she a mistake?

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” Harry sympathizes as his hand reaches out to grasp Louis’ shoulder.

His older yet shorter friend laughs, but it wasn’t a good laugh. It was forced. “Why does everyone keep telling me things like that? People shouldn’t be sorry for me. I don’t want pity. What I want is to have my girlfriend back, but obviously that wish is so far fetched that it makes me want to take my own life,” Louis scoffs, “People don’t understand what it’s like to lose someone so special to you. It’s impossible to imagine for those who don’t fathom. But it hurts like hell.

“I pray to God every night to grant me happiness. It physically hurts me in the heart that when little Eleanor was born… I wasn’t exactly happy. She’s my daughter for fuck’s sake! Your child’s birth should bring you all the joy in the world, but unfortunately for me it didn’t bring me one ounce of it. All I kept thinking was Eleanor. I didn’t think of Violet at all. My mind was suffocating with thoughts of my dead girlfriend,” Louis turns to his friend, “Harry you’re the only person in this entire world to understand the pain it is to lose Eleanor. You loved her too. Though, that doesn’t make me very happy either.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry whispers.

Louis only shakes his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“Yes there is,” He pressures, “I fell in love with my best mate’s girlfriend. And because of that… because of my stupid mistake she’s dead. I’d rather have her alive and love you than have her dead. I’d go through the pain of watching you two be a couple and loving each other than having her gone forever.”

Louis pierces his lips into a straight line, letting his head bow down. He let Harry’s words sink in. He knew, deep down in his gut, that Eleanor was the one. Even in an alternate universe, El would still be his and he would be hers. It did make him happy to have something that someone else wanted, but that was his selfish part speaking. Harry’s love for Eleanor made him jealous.

There was a reason that Harry was the popular one in the band. He was tall, charming, perfectly sculptured, had perfect hair, dressed like the man of every girl’s dream, and he was just overall handsome. He made every girl swoon and faint with just a wink of an eye.

Louis felt threatened. How could Eleanor stay with Louis when she could have younger and better-looking Mr. Harry Styles? But the fact that Eleanor chose Louis made Louis feel better about himself and insecurities. Because in his eyes, Eleanor Calder was the most beautiful and amazing girl he’s ever met. That most beautiful and amazing girl… fell in love with him. That made him happy.

“I don’t blame you for falling in love with her,” The blue-eyed boy mutters as he clears the stray pieces of leaves off of the gravestone.

Shocked, Harry replies, “I think you do.”

“I’m mad at you for loving her, but I don’t blame you. How can you not fall in love with a girl like her? It’s impossible to hate her.”

Harry chuckles. “I know. If only the fans saw that.”

“Oh they saw that… they just saw it too late.”

Another pause trails behind them. Silence fills the air only with the exception of the leaves rustling about and the muffled engines of cars starting up from the busy road.

“Louis?” Harry whispers.

“What?”

“Do you love Eleanor?”

Louis looks at his friend with a glare. “What kind of stupid fucking question is that you jackass?”

“Are you ready to see her?” He asks.

“W-what? What the fuck are you rambling on about now, Harry?”

“Just answer the question, Louis.”

“I don’t know what you mean ‘am I ready to see her’?” Louis says.

Harry stares into Louis’ eyes and smirks. “Wake up.”

“What?”

“Wake. Up.” Harry says before his voice fades away. Harry’s body dissolves into the air leaving Louis confused and puzzled. The ground feels like it’s sinking into the depths of the Earth and the rest of the world feels like it’s spinning. Louis panics as he looks around. Like a blink of an eye everything goes dark.

He jolts awake, as voices and beeping noises become background sounds. His eyes flicker around his new surroundings; from his examination he’s in white tiled room that appears to be noisy.

He tries to sit up, but pain on his lower back sears through his body like a lightning bolt. A groan escapes through his lips.

“Oh my God. Louis?” A female voice chirps. Suddenly, all the blood in body runs cold. His heart nearly stops and his small eyes widen. It can’t be, he thinks.

Eleanor.

A pair of soft delicate hands grab on to his right forearm. From that small grab, chills course through his spine. Despite the pain, he slowly turns his head to his right and that’s all it took. Every last bit of air escaped his lungs.

“Oh my God, Louis you’re awake!” Eleanor smiles, as her hazel eyes turn glassy. She clasps her mouth with her hand to muffle the sobs of joy.

“You’re alive,” Louis whispers.

She shakes her head. “What are you talking about? You’re alive! Oh my God, Louis you have no idea how happy I am right now.” A few tears fall from her eyes and roll down her cheek.

He lets out a chuckle, but it comes out in a quiet tone. His throat feels hoarse and dry. “You and me both love.”

Eleanor couldn’t take it anymore. At this moment, she didn’t care if she crushed Louis with her weight hurting him even more. She flung herself on to Louis and buries her face into the crook of his neck. The tears of happiness streamed down her cheeks. “I thought you were gone,” She cried.

Weak and worn out, Louis found strength in his body to wrap his tattooed arms around his beloved. “I thought you were gone too.”

Puzzled, Eleanor raises her head to look up at her boyfriend quizzically. “Me?”

“Yeah.” He answers.

“What do you mean? You were the one who was in a bloody coma. I spent the last two weeks crying for you to wake up.”

Louis smiles slightly. “I spent the last six and a half years mourning your death.”

Her eyebrows knit together, fluttering Louis’ heart because he found it the most adorable thing when she was confused. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Louis grinned before taking hold of Eleanor’s arm and lifting her shirtsleeve revealing the numerous amounts of lines that marked themselves on to her skin. She nearly gasps, “How did you—“

“I love you,” He says, “And I don’t give a flying fuck what some teenage girl thinks. I don’t care if some fans believe in all this Larry bullshit. We both know what we have is real. That’s all that matters. No matter how painful those words are, please come to me. Let me show you that I love you. Don’t you fucking dare cut yourself again or even try to kill yourself. Because if you do, I swear to God I’ll surely die. I cannot live without you. Please, Eleanor, let my love for you be the reason why you stay here. Let it be the reason why you stay happy, because your love for me is the reason why I am.”

Tears were currently slowly trickling down Eleanor’s soft cheeks.

“Please,” Louis pleads. That’s all it took before Eleanor let her lips kiss Louis with so much passion that she could die right there and be happy. She leaned back, “Yes.”

“Yes? What? What does yes mean?” Louis panics.

She stares into his eyes. “Yes… I’ll marry you.”

His whole body and soul feel like it’s on cloud nine right now. “Seriously?” He mumbles in a whisper.

She nods, smiling. She reached down her shirt and pulled out a golden necklace. It took only seconds before Louis realized that attached to the chain was the engagement ring. Eleanor glanced down at it. “When the doctors told me that you were in a coma, it hit me. I knew that if you died that I would completely lose it. I realized how stupid I was for denying your proposal. So I put the ring on a necklace until you woke up, then I’d put it on my finger.”

“Well then what the fuck are you waiting for?” Louis asks sharing a laugh with his girlfriend, now fiancé.

“Before I do, what did you mean that you spent the last six and a half years mourning my death? You sounded absolutely crazy.”

Louis laughs. This time, it wasn’t forced. It was real. He laughed because everything was back to where it was supposed to be. And he couldn’t be more grateful. “Where do I even begin?”

*** 

Okay that was my one-shot for @/moaninglouis. Sorry this is not a chapter guys, I will post one sometime this week. I’ve already written it.

My favorite part of Fame was every part. I loved every single bit of it. What made me love the story was it wasn’t a cliché happy love story. It was the harsh truth and reality.

Eleanor could easily kill herself with all the hate she receives. The amount of hatred and cyber bullying she receives is so unbelievable and unimaginable it’s honestly so incredible that she still holds it together and stays with Louis. 

But it’s not just Eleanor. Any of the boys’ girlfriends receive a shitload of hate. Nikki has really created a beautiful story showing the cruel outcome of what bullying can do to drive a girl to the brink of death.

So, I hope you enjoyed my one-shot. (:

XOXO.

[MoaningLouis Author's Note] 

Okay, so this is the last one shot and the last thing that will be posted in this book. I really do hope you all enjoyed this one shot because this was literally beautiful. 

I was honestly going too do something like this for like a second epilogue but I decided not too. Since this one pretty much does it for me. 

I really love you guys and how you've helped this book get so far. 

Thank you. 

xx Nikki