Castiel and Dean both return to Castiel's place afterwards. Dean texted him the video, so as soon as they return, Castiel goes to grab his phone for the first time since the previous night, only to find it overflowing with text messages. Castiel opens up Messenger to see that he has 228 missed messages, 223 of them from Lucifer. Castiel chuckles to himself. Something has him excited.

Castiel quickly saves the video of him onto his phone and posts it on Twitter, the tweet reading, "I live!!!" before returning to his messages and reading through the ones from Lucifer.

Lucifer: I saw your livestream

Lucifer: I mean it wasn't live when I saw it but whatever

Lucifer: My ship senses are tingling

Lucifer: I smell Destiel

Lucifer: That was Dean?

Lucifer: Was that Dean?

Lucifer: CASTIEL ANSWER ME DAMMIT

Lucifer: That was totally Dean

Lucifer: I thought you broke up

Lucifer: When did you two get back together?

Lucifer: You better not be just friends

Lucifer: Cuz you're not

Lucifer: You're soulmates

Lucifer: This is a very one sided conversation

Lucifer: Whatever

Lucifer: It's not like I have anything to do right now besides text you

Lucifer: Castiel!

Lucifer: Pay attention to me

Lucifer: I'm bored

Lucifer: Seriously

Lucifer: But Destiel?

Lucifer: Yay or nay?

Lucifer: Pretty sure it's yay

Lucifer: You two are back together

Lucifer: Aren't you?

Lucifer: I knew it!

Lucifer: I knew my ship wouldn't sink!

Lucifer: Well, it did sink

Lucifer: Sort of

Lucifer: But now it's not

Lucifer: Not sinking

Lucifer: So it's floating

Lucifer: And probably sailing

Lucifer: Is it floating or sailing?

Lucifer: It better be sailing

Lucifer: I mean, floating works

Lucifer: But the SS Destiel needs to set sail

Lucifer: If it isn't already

Lucifer: Which it better be

Lucifer: Is it floating of sailing?

Lucifer: But it's not sinking right?

Lucifer: If it's subbing I've gotta fix it

Lucifer: Fuck

Lucifer: Sinking

Lucifer: Not subbing

Lucifer: This isn't YouTube

Lucifer: This is real life

Lucifer: (is this just fantasy?)

Lucifer: I've never heard that song before

Lucifer: I wouldn't have heard of it if you didn't mention it

Lucifer: You know

Lucifer: In the live stream

Lucifer: Which was awesome btw

Lucifer: Did I say that already?

Lucifer: Probably

Lucifer: Oh well

Lucifer: I'm gonna say it again

Lucifer: Well not gonna

Lucifer: Cuz I already did

Lucifer: Anyway

Lucifer: How's life?

Lucifer: I'm sure it's great

Lucifer: Because Dean

Lucifer: That was Dean right?

Lucifer: It's gonna be awkward if that wasn't Dean

Lucifer: But I'm pretty sure

Lucifer: Because my Destiel senses are tingling

Lucifer: And it must be Destiel

Lucifer: My OTP is back

Lucifer: Cannonically

Lucifer: Autocorrect doesn't think that's a word

Lucifer: Maybe it's not

Lucifer: Maybe I spelled it wrong

Lucifer: You know spelling isn't my thing

Lucifer: I'm more into memorizing

Lucifer: Movies

Lucifer: According to all know laws of

Lucifer: Wtf is this word?

Lucifer: Aviation?

Lucifer: Autocorrect gives it the okay

Lucifer: So aviation

Lucifer: Okay it would take way too long to type out the script

Lucifer: I'll just say it eventually

Lucifer: Next time I see you

Lucifer: Just for this

Lucifer: Even if you forget this convo

Lucifer: Not that's it's a convo because I'm the only one talking

Lucifer: Okay

Lucifer: So if you forget this monologue

Lucifer: But this is the monologue of a lifetime

Lucifer: It would take a year to forget

Lucifer: I better see you within a year

Lucifer: We never get to talk anymore

Lucifer: IRL I mean

Lucifer: We text all the time

Lucifer: But that's not IRL

Lucifer: But technically

Lucifer: It happens in real life

Lucifer: Just through technology

Lucifer: So it is IRL

Lucifer: But not fave to face

Lucifer: Fuck I mean face

Lucifer: Because you never come back to Sioux Falls

Lucifer: Seriously

Lucifer: I saw you two months ago for Christmas

Lucifer: And thanksgiving

Lucifer: But before that

Lucifer: We haven't seen you for

Lucifer: Like

Lucifer: Eleven months

Lucifer: Even Aunt Amara saw you since then

Lucifer: That's not cool bro

Lucifer: Like I get you were on tour for some of it

Lucifer: And they were a convenient place to stay

Lucifer: But what about us

Lucifer: Huh?

Lucifer: I mean

Lucifer: I've only known you since the day you were born

Lucifer: How come I never get to see you?

Lucifer: Why'd you have to move all the way to New York?

Lucifer: I mean

Lucifer: I get that Taylor Swift lives there

Lucifer: And I approve of your friendship

Lucifer: Cuz she's awesome

Lucifer: But so am I

Lucifer: I'm awesome

Lucifer: Mike is awesome

Lucifer: Samandriel and Anna are awesome

Lucifer: So why don't you stay with us?

Lucifer: I mean, I'm twenty five and I still live at home

Lucifer: So does Michael

Lucifer: And he's my age

Lucifer: Duh

Lucifer: Cuz we're twins

Lucifer: But you left almost three years ago

Lucifer: The moment you turned eighteen

Lucifer: You were gone

Lucifer: Okay not the moment

Lucifer: A month later

Lucifer: Which is ridiculous

Lucifer: Especially because you already bought the house

Lucifer: Like boi

Lucifer: Most people can't pay for college at your age

Lucifer: And you're over there

Lucifer: Buying a freaking house

Lucifer: At seventeen years old

Lucifer: All at once

Lucifer: That's not cool bro

Lucifer: Like I wish I was you

Lucifer: Then I wouldn't have any student debt or anything

Lucifer: Well I mean

Lucifer: You paid off my student debt

Lucifer: And practically everything else we could ever use

Lucifer: But still

Lucifer: You're a money machine

Lucifer: Wait why am I talking about money?

Lucifer: Ah screw it

Lucifer: I'm gonna go back to the important thing here

Lucifer: Destiel

Lucifer: Was that Dean?

Lucifer: I heard guitar

Lucifer: Dean plays guitar

Lucifer: And that annoying but entertaining yell could have been Dean

Lucifer: And that laugh

Lucifer: I think he just laughed cuz you said it

Lucifer: I mean seriously

Lucifer: Not that it wasn't funny

Lucifer: But if it was Dean

Lucifer: Which it better have been

Lucifer: Then I think he laughed because of you

Lucifer: Not what you said

Lucifer: Anyway

Lucifer: Dude

Lucifer: What the he'll?

Lucifer: Fuck

Lucifer: What the hell?

Lucifer: That's better

Lucifer: Stupud autocorrect

Lucifer: I've literally been texting you for almost an hour

Lucifer: Why haven't you responded

Lucifer: There's literally no way you could not be seeing these

Lucifer: Unless you muted me

Lucifer: Or blocked me

Lucifer: I think

Lucifer: I've never been blocked before

Lucifer: But you wouldn't block me

Lucifer: You LOOOOOVE me

Lucifer: Right?

Lucifer: You didn't block me

Lucifer: I hope

Lucifer: So where are you

Lucifer: Answer me

Lucifer: Wait

Lucifer: You're a celebrity now

Lucifer: You probably have some important stuff to do

Lucifer: Because you're Taylor swift

Lucifer: Okay

Lucifer: Well call me

Lucifer: Eventually

Lucifer: When you get this

Lucifer: Well

Lucifer: These

Lucifer: There are a lot of messages here

Lucifer: What like fifty?

Lucifer: Ish?

Lucifer: Anyway

Lucifer: Call me

Lucifer: Dude seriously

Lucifer: I texted you like four hours ago

Lucifer: Where tf did you go?

Lucifer: CASTIEL

Lucifer: Seriously

Lucifer: I quit

Lucifer: Life

Lucifer: I quit life

Lucifer: Call me!!!

Lucifer: As soon as you get these!!!

A/N I literally just wrote a chapter's worth of Lucifer's one sided conversation like wtf me? This was only supposed to be like 50 messages oops