"I brought you guys a Satan," Gabriel announces, dragging Lucifer over to the bar.

"Hey," Castiel greets him, earning a head nod in recognition.

"Welcome back," Charlie adds, getting a smile in return.

"Hey, Lucifer," Michael says, but Lucifer ignores him and takes a seat. Michael just rolls his eyes.

"I don't know drinks so I don't know what I'm doing," he announces.

"Wanna finish mine?" Castiel offers. "I only had a sip."

Lucifer shrugs. "Sure. Slide it over."

Castiel does as he's told, and Lucifer picks the glass up off the table. He looks at it for a moment, and, like Castiel, takes a whiff of it. He shrugs and takes a small sip.

"Not bad," he says, taking another sip.

"You handled that way better than Castiel did," Charlie laughs.

"You mean better than lightweight over there?" he asks teasingly. "Big surprise."

Castiel bitch faces him, and he just smiles innocently.

"By the way, we're trying to get Michael to tell us his sexuality, and we're kinda banking on you to annoy him into telling us," Gabriel tells him.

"Great. And to think I thought you dragged me back here because you missed me," he jokes.

"You game?" Gabriel asks.

Lucifer shrugs. "Meh. I don't really care."

Castiel and Gabriel share a concerned look. Lucifer is the ship master, and he makes sure that anything relating to ships is his business. How can he not care about Michael's sexuality when that's his whole thing?

"Do you already know it?" Charlie asks him.

"Nope."

"You can't stay mad at me forever," Michael tells him, picking up immediately on what's wrong. "Not over something this stupid."

Lucifer just crosses his arms stubbornly.

Michael sighs. "Fine, whatever."

"I don't think I've ever seen them fight before," Gabriel whispers to Castiel.

"I don't think they ever have," Castiel whispers back. And this is a pretty stupid thing to fight about, too.

"So..." Charlie says awkwardly, attempting to break the tension. "Who wants to come dance with me?"

"I like how you ask that like you're going to give us a choice," Castiel observes, knowing already that she's going to drag them out to the mini dance floor anyway.

"I'm gonna pass," Michael says. "Dancing isn't my thing."

"I can't dance, either," Castiel tells him. "Doesn't mean I won't pretend I can."

"I'd rather not —"

"You're coming," Charlie tells him.

"But —"

"C'mon." She takes his arm and pulls him away, and though he could easily stop her because he's probably twice her size, he seems to get that she won't leave him alone, because he reluctantly allows her to drag him away.

Castiel, Gabriel, and Lucifer follow them to the mini dance floor area, where Charlie starts jamming out without hesitation. One by one everyone else joins her except Michael, who just stands there awkwardly. He glances at his watch a few times, obviously wishing they could just hurry up.

A few minutes later, a girl approaches them. Charlie stops dancing to not-so-subtly stare at her, which doesn't surprise Castiel. Even a gay guy can tell she's an attractive lady. She doesn't even acknowledge them, instead walking up to Michael.

"Hey there," she says flirtatiously.

"Hi?" he says awkwardly.

"This is gonna be good," Gabriel says with a smirk.

"Or he's gonna have a fear of people forever afterwards," Charlie adds.

"Yeah, that too."

"My name's Starla," she tells him, standing excessively close to him.

"Michael," he says simply.

"Michael," she repeats. "I like that."

"Thank you?" he says uncertainly, doubtlessly wondering why that's a compliment if he didn't name himself. He looks over at his brothers helplessly, but no one even tries to help him out.

"I saw you over here and I couldn't help but notice how bored you looked. I got to agree. We've really worn out this scene. How about we go back to my place and have a little fun there?"

"I'm not interested," he replies. "Sorry."

"You sure?" She rests her arms around his neck, her lips only inches from his. "For you, no charge."

"I'm already seeing someone."

"Oh, too bad," she replies, pulling away from him. "If you change your mind, I'll be around." She winks at him before walking away, probably to find someone other victim.

Gabriel laughs and claps him on the back. "Oh, Michael. You poor shy little boy."

Michael just rolls his eyes.

"But at least now we know you're not straight," Charlie adds. "You think she'd give me the same offer, or is it just for guys?"

"Not worth it," Castiel tells her. "I say hang with us. Maybe if we're lucky, someone else will try to hit on Michael and we can watch it again."

Michael barely glances at him before looking over at Lucifer, who's standing with his arms crossed and looking more annoyed than any of them had ever seen.

"Now what?" Michael asks.

"You're seeing someone?" he repeats judgmentally.

Michael scoffs. "Seriously, Lucifer? What's your problem?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why does everything I do seem to piss you off today? No, I'm not seeing anyone. I just said that to get her to go away. But even if I was, what's it to you? What, I'm not allowed to date?"

"It's not that. It's that you wouldn't tell me," Lucifer explains. "Just like you didn't tell me that you drink, and like you didn't tell me about what's-his-face behind the bar."

Michael just looks at him for a minute, then says, "No, that's not it. This has nothing to do with how I didn't tell you. You're just upset that I have other friends, aren't you? You're so used to thinking that you're my entire world, and you don't like the idea that I actually do talk to other people."

Lucifer doesn't respond, but he doesn't have to. It's written all over his face.

"Look, Lucifer, you're my brother and I love you, but I can't live my life only ever talking to you. That doesn't mean I love you any less. You're my best friend, and that's not going to change, okay?"

"But you're, like, a social butterfly and you're gonna get so distracted by your other friends that you're not going to spend time with me anymore."

Michael can't hide his amused smile at that. "Lucifer, I have one friend who isn't already better friends with you than they are with me, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. It's been like this for three years now. The fact that I still spend the majority of my time with you probably says something about how this is gonna go with us. Does that make you feel better?"

Lucifer nods. "Mm hmm. But you just committed to me big time, so you better not ditch me for anyone else, 'kay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Gabriel leans over to Castiel and whispers, "Can we just admire how easily Michael just solved that problem?"

"He's been cleaning up our messes for years," Castiel replies simply. "Honestly, I'd be surprised if he couldn't fix everything like that."

A/N This was a stupid couple chapters and I only put them in for Jay Lund