"I'm about to go to a bar for the first time ever," Castiel tells his phone, glancing at the camera briefly before returning his gaze to the real world because knowing him, he'd walk into something in the half a second he spends not watching where he's going.

"It's gonna be lit," Gabriel adds.

"No one says 'lit' anymore," Charlie tells him.

"Gabriel still says 'fam,'" Lucifer replies. "He's just really behind the times."

Everyone files in the room, "everyone" being Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, Castiel, and Charlie. The author has never been to a bar, so, unlike most places in this book that are based off of places that actually exist, this is a total guess and may not be anything like a bar at all.

They follow Michael around, not because they think he knows where he's going but because at least they can be confused together. He finds the bar easily, and everyone approaches it together because no one wants to be the odd one out.

"Hey, Michael," the man behind the bar greets him. (A/N A+ to you if you can guess who he is before I tell you at the end of the chapter.) The first thing that comes to mind when Castiel sees him is large — in more ways than one. He's a heavier man, probably closer to Chuck's age than theirs, but much closer to their height than Chuck's. Granted, Chuck is pretty short, so that doesn't take much. "The usual?"

"Something stronger?" Michael requests.

"Sure thing," he replies, reaching for a drink to pour him.

"Thanks, Jay."

"I'm sorry," Lucifer says loudly, attempting to be heard over the loud music. "You have a regular now?"

Guessing something's about to go down, Castiel mutters, "Be right back," before turning off the live stream and stowing his phone in his pocket.

Michael nods slowly. "Yes... Is that a problem?"

"Yeah, it is!" Lucifer replies as if it's obvious. "I've spent the last four years never coming to a bar because I thought no one I knew drank, and it turns out that not only do you drink, but you come here so much, they even know you by name!"

"You never asked if I drank, so I can't say I see why you're upset with me," Michael replies calmly.

"Because you've been sneaking out here without me!"

"It's not 'sneaking out,'" Michael tells him. "It's just, like... going. I come here when I want to get away from the house."

"So, away from me," Lucifer surmises.

"No, Luce, that's not what I —"

"I get it," he interrupts. "You don't wanna hang out with crazy ol' Bee-Movie-obsessed Lucifer. I understand. That's — that's fine."

Michael sighs. "You know that's not true."

"Really? Because that's what it looks like to me." With that, he walks away, ignoring Castiel and Gabriel calling after him.

Michael just turns back to Jay. "Maybe something even stronger?"

Jay chuckles and pours him a drink. "Boyfriend?"

"Brother."

He seems mildly surprised at that. "Bit clingy for a brother."

Michael chuckles, but it seems more of a tired laugh than an amused one. "Tell me about it," he mutters, taking a sip of his drink.

"Well," Castiel says with a glance at Gabriel. "That just happened."

"Should one of us go find him?" Gabriel asks.

"Give him a few minutes."

Michael waves them over. "Just standing there isn't gonna do you much good."

The three of them join him at the bar, where Gabriel and Charlie ask for something without a second thought. He pours their drinks for them after checking their IDs, which is something the author totally overlooked at first and had to add it in after. Castiel just sits there awkwardly, not sure what's going on.

"Anything for you?" Jay asks him as he slides Gabriel and Charlie their glasses.

"I don't — I don't know what I'm looking at right now," he admits. "Um... Can I just have Michael's regular?"

"Sure thing," he replies. "ID?"

Castiel puts his license on the bar, and Jay takes a quick look.

"Birthday party?" he guesses, sliding the license back and pouring a drink.

"Good call," Castiel replies.

"Well, happy birthday," Jay says, giving him his drink. "Hard to believe you're only 21. Between what Michael tells me and snip its I catch from the news, you seem pretty busy. Not a lot of kids could handle it."

"Yeah, sitting at home with a notebook and a guitar is hard work, but still, I endure," he jokes, mostly to deflect from the fact that he really can't handle his life at its busiest and hates every moment of it.

"Another?" Michael asks, putting his glass on the bar with a small clatter.

"You okay over there?" Jay asks, refilling his glass.

"'Course," Michael replies, taking a big sip of his new drink.

"You sure?" Jay asks skeptically.

"No, but I promised myself I'd act it 'til tomorrow," he explains, taking another sip of his drink.

"Well, if you wanna talk, you know where to find me."

"Hey, Castiel," Gabriel says with a teasing smile. "You actually gonna drink that, or are just you gonna stare at it all day?"

Castiel rolls his eyes and picks up his drink, but Charlie stops him quickly.

"This is a total live stream moment," she tells him.

He pulls out his phone and starts another live stream just because she suggested it. "Hey, guys."

"Castiel's about to become a man!" Gabriel calls out.

Castiel chuckles. "Yeah, what he said." He picks up his drink and takes a moment to smell it. "Not bad." He raises it to his lips and takes a sip and...

Starts choking because it's so bad.

Gabriel and Charlie, being the nice friends they are, burst out laughing. Even Michel wears an amused smile at that.

"Why did I let you drag me here?" he asks Gabriel.

"I don't know, but I'm glad you did," he laughs.

"Now I wanna see you do shots," Charlie adds.

"Are you trying to kill my brother?" Michael asks.

"No, but it's a small price to pay for such quality entertainment," Charlie jokes.

"I won't lie. That does sound pretty funny," he agrees. "Possibly lethal, but entertaining nonetheless."

"Why are you giving them that look?" Gabriel asks, eyeing Jay suspiciously.

"No reason," he replies, returning his attention to cleaning the bar.

"Well, now we know there is a reason, so spill," Charlie says.

"Just trying to figure out if you two are dating," he explains, looking between her and Michael.

Charlie scoffs. "Us? No way. I'm about as straight as a rainbow slinky."

"Further proof that gays live in packs," Gabriel whispers to Castiel, earning a laugh.

"What even is your sexuality?" Charlie asks Michael.

He just shrugs, taking another sip of his drink.

"Meaning you don't know or you're not going to tell us?" she asks.

He shrugs again.

"Don't bother," Jay advises her. "I've been asking that for three years now and I haven't gotten an answer."

"Well, now I wanna know," Gabriel says, looking at Michael expectantly.

Michael meets his gaze, making a point to not make a sound. When it becomes clear the staring contest isn't going anywhere, Michael reaches over and takes another sip of his drink without breaking eye contact, and Gabriel can't help but laugh.

"No, but really," Castiel says. "Now I'm curious."

Michael mimes zipping his lips.

"I don't get it," Gabriel adds. "I mean, we've got friends with pretty much every sexuality. We're all gay; Anna, Claire, Lucifer and Samandriel claim to be straight, but I don't think anyone really believes Lucifer; Dean's bi and I'm gonna move on before Castiel hits me for bringing him into this. Literally zero fucks are given 'bout it. We just wanna know."

Michael just takes another sip of his drink, which is starting to seem more like the symbol for "I'm not going to say anything" than a way to quench thirst.

"I'm guessing pansexual," Charlie decides. "I feel like you're the type of guy to have deep thoughts and you just kinda decided that gender is a social construct and screw gender stereotypes and all that."

Michael raises an eyebrow at that, probably questioning where that thought came from.

"You're a persistent lot, aren't you?" Jay observes.

"Noticed that, did ya?" Gabriel replies.

"You're wasting your breath, though," he adds. "Even a drunk Michael won't spill."

"Well, you've never met Lucifer," Gabriel replies with a smirk.

"How long do you think it'll take 'til drunk Lucifer cracks him?" Charlie asks.

"I'm genuinely scared to think of Lucifer drunk," Castiel replies.

"Same," Gabriel says. "Now let's get Lucifer drunk."

A/N So the guy at the bar is Jay Lund who played Kurt the photographer in Kings of Con, but he also "owned the bar" in Kings of Conversation, so I figured I'd put him in the bar here, too.