A/N Almost at 50. Almost there. *repeats this over and over as I write because I'm almost there*

"WOAH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE! WOAH, LIVING ON A PRAYER! TAKE MY HAND, WE'LL MAKE IT, I SWEAR! WOAH, LIVING ON A PRAYER!"

"Shut up!" Castiel yells from his bedroom, where he was peacefully sleeping until Dean and Lucifer decided to go all Bon Jovi out in kitchen or the living room or some room near there.

"Or you could come join us?" Dean suggests.

"I wanna sleep!"

"But you're awake," Lucifer observes. "Which, if you think about it, means that YOU'RE HALFWAY THERE! WOAH, TO COMING TO THE KITCHEN! TAKE DEAN'S HAND, YOU'LL SHIP IT, I SWEAR! WOAH, COME TO THE KITCHEN!"

"Fine, just for that," Castiel agrees finally. He tosses on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, ignoring how messy his hair must look and makes his way to the kitchen, where he finds Lucifer and Dean munching on those little chocolate Hostess donuts. Dean holds out the bag to let Castiel take one, but he shakes his head.

"After everything I ate last night, I should probably at least try not to gain any weight before my tour."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Boring. Donuts are way better than abs anyway."

"I'll pass, but thanks."

Dean shrugs and puts the bag between him and Lucifer. "Suit yourself. More for us."

"Did someone say donuts?" Claire asks, coming into the kitchen as well.

Lucifer gestures to the donuts next to him, but he can't speak because he's still chewing.

"Ooh, yay!" She grabs a couple and takes a bite out of one. She looks at Castiel curiously when she notices he's not eating any.

"Celebrities can't binge," he says simply. It's still strange to categorize himself as a celebrity, but it's true.

"Remind me to never be a celebrity. I need my donuts."

Castiel leans against the counter out of boredom. "Did you drag me out here just to offer me donuts?"

"No, we did it because it's noon and I was bored waiting for you," Dean tells him.

"It's noon?" Castiel glances at the clock to see that it is, in fact, just past noon. "Wow. Wait, are you eating donuts for lunch?"

"You got a problem with that?" Lucifer asks.

"No, but... Really? For lunch? Breakfast or snacks, I get that, but not lunch."

"You're just bitter that you don't get any," Dean teases.

"No! Well, okay, maybe a little," he concedes.

"I say have some," Claire suggests. "Screw the social stigma or whatever. Body positivity and all that, right?"

Castiel looks at the bag longingly for a moment, then shakes his head. "Body positivity only counts for girls. If a guy wants to get somewhere in the spotlight, he needs a six pack, and, unfortunately, that's how I make my living — catchy tunes and good looks."

"Well, you're not wrong," Claire replies with a shrug, popping another donut in her mouth.

Awkward silence.

"What's today?" Castiel asks, not directing it at anyone in particular. "Sunday?"

"Maybe?" Lucifer replies uncertainly. "No one keeps track in the summer."

Claire pulls out her phone. "Nope, Monday."

"Aw, crap," Castiel mutters.

"Why?" Dean asks.

"No reason," Castiel lies. "Never mind."

"Well, you just made it obvious there's a reason, so now you gotta tell us," Lucifer replies.

"I second that motion," Dean adds.

"I'm a good person who respects your right to privacy," Claire tells him.

Castiel chuckles at that. "Good. We need more people like you in the world."

"No, we need less because privacy is overrated and I wanna know!" Lucifer whines.

"But Clarifer!" the Clarifer shippers whisper from behind their screens, but what little of what remains of the fourth wall blocks it out.

"Ugh, fine, but it doesn't leave the house."

"Ooh, I like it already!" Lucifer tells him.

Castiel rolls his eyes. "It's nothing interesting. It's just, every Sunday, I donate a hundred thousand dollars to a different charity, and this is the first time in over two years that I haven't. I just lost my streak."

"How come I've never heard of that?" Lucifer asks. "I've been stalking the interwebs for your name for the last five years, and I've never once seen that come up."

"It's anonymous," Castiel clarifies. "Thus the whole 'doesn't leave the house' thing. I'm not doing it for the fame. I just have way too much money, so I figured I'd try to do some good."

"And this is why we love ya," Claire tells him. "All in favor of cloning Castiel when the technology becomes available, say aye!"

"Aye!" Lucifer and Dean yell.

"Nay!" Castiel says at the same time.

"But twice the charity, and twice the awesomeness!" Claire insists. "Come on, you've got to admit, you're pretty freaking cool."

"I will admit no such thing," Castiel replies.

"She's right," Dean agrees. "Imagine how many people you've helped with that money — or, like, animals or whatever it is you donate to."

"I haven't done that much," Castiel insists.

His mind flicks back to a girl whose GoFundMe was floating around Twitter a year or so ago for lifesaving surgery that she couldn't afford. He paid that all off, and possibly some extra, too. He saw that floating around Twitter, too — people looking for the mysterious donor who saved a girl's life. So maybe he hasn't helped too many people too much in the last two plus years, but at least he could help her and people like her.

"Definitely not animals, at least," Lucifer adds with a smirk.

"Wait, why not?" Claire asks, confused.

"Shut up," Castiel says at the same time, snacking his brother on the arm.

"Castiel's afraid of anything with more than two legs," Lucifer teases.

"I'm not afraid. I just... don't like them."

"Sure, Castiel, we totally believe you," Lucifer says sarcastically.

"But I — And — They —" Castiel sighs and throws his hands up in exasperation, walking away. "I quit! I'm out! Peace!"

"Cas!" Dean whines. "Come back!"

"You know," Castiel says, turning to face them again. "I came out here to have a good time, and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now."

"Group hug time!" Lucifer yells as loudly as he can, running up to Castiel and squeezing the life out of him. Within sixty seconds, the majority of the house is hugging him as well, most of them not knowing why but doing it anyway.

"Can't... breathe..." Castiel chokes out.

"Eh, breathing's overrated, anyway," Gabriel tells him, but they all stop hugging him anyway.

"So, what's up with the group hug?" Gabriel asks.

"Castiel was sad cuz I outed him on his fear of puppies," Lucifer explains.

"That's not what —" Castiel protests.

"And he's going to try to defend himself, but that's exactly what happened, and Claire and Dean will vouch for me," Lucifer interrupts proudly.

The two of them nod in agreement.

"I quit!" Castiel says again, walking away. "I'm leaving."

"You're not even gonna make it to the door," Lucifer says confidently.

Castiel continues walking until he reaches said door, and just before he closes it, he hears Lucifer call after him, "Um, Castiel? You can't... You can't just leave me here!"

Joke's on him. Castiel can do whatever he damn well feels like.