It's the last week of June, and that means school's out! That might sound like a good thing, but Castiel isn't in school, so it doesn't really matter to him. But what he knows it will mean is more fighting between Anna and Claire, which, according to Lucifer, has only gotten worse as time progressed.
In an attempt to save Michael from his inevitable doom caused by uncontrollable rebellious teens, Lucifer asked Castiel to come back to Sioux Falls, at least for the summer. Seeing as he doesn't have anything to do for he next month or so until he finally meets Rick Springfield, he sees no reason not to come play peacemaker.

As soon as he opens the door, he hears Samandriel yell, "Dammit, Claire, give me my phone!"

"No fucking way! Not 'til mine is charged!" Claire snaps.

Lucifer quietly walks up Castiel, looking legitimately scared. "Help me," he whispers. "Too many teenagers."

Castiel chuckles softly, then calls out so they'll hear, "Guys, I'm home!"

Almost instantly, both of them are standing in front of him.

Samandriel immediately envelopes him in a hug. "Hey, Castiel!" he greets his brother.

Claire just gives Castiel a small wave. "Hey."

"Hey," he replies. Looking around, he adds, "We're missing people. Where's everyone else?"

"Michael got sick of us and left, Gabriel is with Sam, Anna's out with Cain, and we have no clue where Dad went," Samandriel summarizes.

"Well, I'm offended they didn't stay to see me," Castiel jokes.

"It's nothing personal," Lucifer tells him. "They just don't like you. No, just kidding. Michael wanted me to text him when you got here so he can come see you, so imma go do that."

As Lucifer pulls out his phone to text their brother, Castiel turns back to Claire and Samandriel.

"Should I ask what's up with the phone fight?"

"Claire took my phone!" Samandriel says immediately.

"Samandriel unplugged my phone!" Claire says right after.

"Claire was using my charger so I took it back," Samandriel explains.

"Anna took my charger and I can't find it!" Claire whines.

"Wait, so..." he has to take a moment to put these random accusation together. "Anna took your charger," he begins slowly, directing this at Claire, who nods. "So you used Samandriel's."
Claire nods again. "Exactly."

His gaze on Samandriel, he continues, "Then you wanted to charge your phone, so you unplugged hers?"

Samandriel nods. "Mm hmm. Cuz it's my charger. Claire shouldn't have been using it at all!"

"But —"

"Stop fighting!" Castiel interrupts, then continues, looking at Claire again. "So you took Samandriel's phone because...?"

"Because he unplugged mine so he doesn't get his back 'til I get to use mine," she explains.

"Which is stupid because it's my phone and my charger!" Samandriel adds.

"I agree," Castiel replies. "Claire, give him his phone back."

"But —"

"Now."

Claire groans in frustration and pulls Samandriel's phone from her pocket, holding it out to him. Samandriel takes it with a satisfied expression on his face.

"Thank you," Castiel says, glad the exchange went so well. "So, what should we do until Michael comes back to avoid any unnecessary fighting?"

~~

Apparently, Super Mario Bros on the Wii is not a good idea if you're trying not to fight.

"Castiel?" Michael says from the doorway to the room, his voice so quiet Castiel can barely hear it over Lucifer and Samandriel's slap fight. Granted, they're being really loud, so it's not Michael's fault.

"Hey, Michael," Castiel replies, not looking away from the game so he and Claire, the two toad characters and the only ones still alive, can beat the level.

"Can I talk to you?" Michael asks. "You know, when you're not busy."

Castiel smacks Lucifer on the head with the Wii remote before handing it to him. "I swear to god, Luce, if you lose all my baby Toady's lives, you'll be just as dead as your Mario. Got it?"

Lucifer nods quickly. "Mm hmm."

Castiel walks over to Michael, who gestures for him to go somewhere alone, where they won't be overheard. Michael leads him to his room, shutting the door behind them.

"What's up?" Castiel asks, concerned. What's with the big production?

"I need help," Michael tells him. "I have absolutely no idea what to do right now. Anna, Samandriel, and Claire have been fighting nonstop and they won't listen to anything I say, and Dad never helps cuz he's Dad and Lucifer never helps cuz he's no more mature than them, and I think something's going on with Anna and I'm sure you'll see when she comes home but she's barely eating and gets all defensive when anyone mentions it and there's Lucifer who doesn't even quote Bee Movie anymore and I don't know why because he loves doing that but he hasn't quoted anything in, like, a month and Claire won't do her schoolwork anymore and she won't listen to anything anyone says and she keeps getting in trouble at school and she barely comes home anymore and she sneaks out at night all the time and I don't have any authority here anymore like everyone decided I wasn't any more responsible than them and it's like they've all decided rules don't apply anymore and that's not how the world works it's like a country without a government and anarchies never end well but I can't stop it and I'm just really hoping you know how to because I don't and Gabriel's too immature to and you're pretty much my last shot so you've gotta help me Castiel."

"Breathe," Castiel advises him. "One thing at a time. So I think you're forgetting that they're still just teenagers. They're going to fight."

"But this is all the time, and it's not like a normal family cuz I can't play the parent and stop them."

Castiel purses his lips, seeing how this could be a problem. "I can try to help, but I don't know if they'll listen to me any more than they do you," he says finally. "And Lucifer hasn't recited Bee Movie? Isn't that a good thing? I don't get why that's on the list of problems."

"Because it's Lucifer," Michael replies. "He always recites stuff. This isn't like him. And it's not like it just hasn't come up for a few days. He hasn't done it since you left."

"I guess I see your point," Castiel tells him. "But I say take it. Maybe he's just growing up and isn't quoting movies for little kids anymore."

"Maybe..." Michael allows, but he clearly isn't convinced. Castiel will admit it's rather out of character for him, but the only explanation he can think of is that Lucifer just outgrew it. Finally.

"And I'll work on Claire with her schoolwork next school year. Did she at least pass her classes?"

Michael nods. "Yeah. Barely. There's no way she's going to go to college with grades like that."

"We'll figure that out," Castiel replies. "And... what else did you say? Or was that it? Cuz I don't have that type of memory."

"Anna," Michael prompts.

"Oh. Um... yeah, I'm not sure about that one," Castiel admits. "I guess I'll have to see for myself. If it really seems like a problem, I'll talk to her."

"She won't talk about it," Michael warns him.

"I'll make her," he replies. "I'll take care of it. All of it. Better?"

Michael nods, but he doesn't seem very relieved.

"What's wrong?" Castiel asks. "I'll take care of all this, and we'll be good, right?"

"And when you leave?"

Castiel frowns. He hadn't really thought of that. "We'll figure something out," he assures his brother. "But I'm here for at least another month, so let's see what happens, okay?"

Michael nods, letting out a long breath. "Yeah. Yeah, thanks, Castiel."

"No problemo."