Lucifer is standing on the side of the pathway, holding a crying Alex close to his chest and bouncing slightly. He's saying something to the baby, and knowing him, she probably understands as much of it as anyone who does speak English would understand.

"Look, Dada Satan in action," Dean says with a laugh.

"Look, Dada Satan regretting becoming a Dada," Castiel adds. When they reach him, Castiel asks, "Is she hungry? Did she go to the bathroom and need her diaper changed?"

"Oh, howdy," Lucifer greets them in his exaggerates southern accent. "Nah, I been checkin' all them basics. She just won't stop cryin'."

Castiel holds his arms out. "Alright, well, I wanna see if I can make her stop just so I can say I'm better than you."

"Alrighty, partner," Lucifer says in his weird southern accent, handing her over. "But she ain't gonna stop."

"We'll are about that," Castiel replies, then starts singing one of his most popular singles. If it's good enough for the general teenage population, it's good enough for her, right?

Alex stops fussing and stares up at him with her cute baby eyes. Castiel chuckles to himself and holds her close.

"Aw, aren't you just the cutest little thing?" he coos.

"Excuse me, sir," Lucifer says with excessive sass, "this here blob of pink happens to be my daughter, not just some thing."

Castiel rolls his eyes, but he can't wipe the amused smile off his face. "Alright. Aren't you just the cutest lil Satan's daughter?"

"Much better," Lucifer replies, his accent disappearing. "Oh, hey, Cassie, can you teach me the ways of the baby whisperer? Because this shiz is hard and you're kinda magic."

"First I'd have to figure it out myself," Castiel replies.

"You two sound like a newly wed gay couple that just adopted a baby," Dean tells them.

"Well, obviously," Lucifer replies. "What, you think we just poofed it into existence?"

"I wouldn't put it past you to try," Dean replies with a shrug. "How long even is that ride? Cas and I have already walked halfway across the park, and ridden another ride."

"Oh, no, they rode something else earlier, after you guys disappeared," Lucifer tells them. "They're not waiting for one ride for an hour."

"'They'?" Castiel repeats, tilting his head in confusion. "What about you?"

Lucifer gestures to the baby with his head. "They don't let three-month-old babies on a lot of rides."

"Well, have you been on any rides?" Castiel asks.

"They don't let three-month-old babies on a lot of rides," Lucifer repeats.

"So what have you been doing?" Castiel asks.

"Walking around," Lucifer replies. "Looking at gift shops. I'm trying to find a princess costume in Alex's size. It's not working out too well."

"I'm not surprised," Castiel replies. Alex seems a bit small for a costume, but he's sure they have some somewhere.

"Why are you going to subject her to that?" Dean asks.

"You mean bless her with that?" Lucifer corrects him. "Because I'm an amazing father and she's gonna have some adorable baby pictures."

Eventually, the rest of the gang returns. It's just Sabriel, Charlie, Gilda, and Claire; a big change from earlier. They're all laughing and smiling, like they just had the time of their lives, and Castiel almost feels left out until he realizes that to join them, he'd have to ride a rollercoaster.

"Where to next?" Gabriel asks.

Charlie doesn't hesitate to say, "Splash Mountain, bitches!"

"Wait, what is Splash Mountain?" Castiel asks, although the question is directed just as much towards Dean as it is Charlie.

"Oh, just a nice, slow long ride," Dean says.

"Then bam!" Charlie says, emphasizing the second word by clapping as loudly as she can in front of his face. "You fall down a huge drop!"

"Yeah, 'kay, I'm out," Castiel says immediately. "And also a big 'fuck you' to Dean for purposely leaving that out of the description."

"Castiel!" Lucifer says with an exaggerated gasp. "There are children present! Watch your fucking language!"

They all burst out laughing at that, which makes Alex start crying. Castiel cradles her in his arms and coos, "Hey, sweetie, shh. Smile. It's the happiest place on earth!"

"Which," Dean adds, "only rings true if you ride things, so, naturally, you gotta ride Splash Mountain with us."

"No!" Castiel says immediately. "No! That is not happening!"

"Just do it once and we'll stop bugging you," Gabriel insists. "Come on, Cassie! It'll be fun!"

Castiel presses his lips into a straight line as he thinks about that. Finally, he asks, "So, if I ride it once, will you stop bugging me to ride stuff?"

"We'll stop bugging you to ride this," Dean corrects him.

"Then nope."

"Please?" Dean insists. "It'll be fun! I promise!" Seeing that Castiel still isn't sold, he adds, "If you do it, I'll buy you a lanyard and some pins and you can start being all pin collecty, and then we'll get distracted by people's pins and we won't have as much time to force you to ride things. Deal?"

Castiel hesitates. He could obviously buy the pin trading things himself, but if they really aren't going to stop bothering him, he doesn't have much of a choice.

"Fine, but that's the last rollercoaster I'm riding all day."

"Yes!" Gabriel says excitedly, giving Dean a high five. "Mission accomplished."

"Luce, you gonna take Alex again?" Claire asks.

Lucifer shrugs. "Looks like." He reaches his arms out for Castiel to hand her back, but he shakes his head, changing his mind.

"You know what?" Castiel says. "I think I'm actually gonna keep Alex for now. You guys can go ride the splashy thing."

"You can't do that!" Gabriel whines

"And you can't keep dumping Alex on Lucifer so you can enjoy the rides," Castiel counters. "I don't really want to ride it. I'm pretty sure Lucifer does. This way, everyone wins."

"But I don't win!" Dean complains.

"You win by default because Lucifer's with you," Castiel replies. "Now go. Shoo. Have fun. If you don't find me here when you get off, I probably went for a walk, so call me. Bye! Go get wet!"

Most of the group reluctantly agrees, but as they walk away, Lucifer tells him, "You know, you didn't have to do that."

"But I really don't want to ride that," Castiel replies. "I might actually pass out. You, on the other hand, are weird enough to enjoy falling from the sky in a free floating vessel, so enjoy yourself."

As Lucifer hurries to catch up with everyone, Castiel begins to walk around the park aimlessly. He keeps his head down, hoping no one will notice him, despite being a head taller that most people nearby. He does catch a couple people with cellphones aimed at him, and he quickly turns his back to them, because he can't imagine the rumors that a picture of him holding a baby would spark.

In his quest to avoid pictures, he almost walks into someone, but quickly stops himself. He mutters a halfassed "Sorry," already prepared to make a run for it, until he realizes that it's Cain and Anna. "Oh, hey, guys. Where have you been?"

"Around," Anna says vaguely.

"Ride any fun rides?" Castiel asks.

"Some." She's about to walk away, but stops herself. "Did you kidnap a baby?"

Castiel can't tell if she's joking playfully or being rude, but it almost sounds like the former, which is out of character for her lately.

"Oh, yeah, I took Alex for a little while so Lucifer could have some fun," Castiel explains.

"Well, he did plan the whole thing," Anna says. "He kinda deserves it."

Castiel furrows his brows in confusion. Since when is Anna this nice to them? Especially to Castiel, whom she does nothing but complain about?

"Uh, yeah?" Castiel says uncertainly.

"Well, we gotta run, but see ya later." With that, Anna takes Cain's hand and drags him away, practicing skipping to their next destination. Wow, this really is the happiest place on earth.

Castiel meanders through the streets, once again trying to be inconspicuous. When he notices too many lingering looks, he ducks out of the crowd and into a gift shop, lined wall to wall with Disney pins. While he can't look at the individual prices because his arms are full, the price key on the wall lists prices with an average of about ten dollars for a small hunk of metal, which makes him feel a lot better about the price of his own merchandise.

Castiel gets so distracted by the pins that he doesn't process how much time goes by until he gets a phone call. The ringer startled Alex into tears, and he quickly rushed to quiet her before answering the phone.

"Shh," Castiel whispers. "It's okay, sweetie. Don't cry. Please don't cry. I don't know how to handle a crying baby." He leaves the store and takes a seat on the bench just outside of it, where he starts to sing softly to her, this this time with a different one of his more popular songs. Eventually, she quiets down again, which is a relief.

"If I put you down, so you promise not to cry?" Castiel asks.

He obviously doesn't get an answer, but he does put her down in his lap so he can check his phone, which says he missed a call from Lucifer. They must have just gotten off the ride. Castiel calls him back, and Lucifer picks up after a few rings.

"Is Alex still alive, or do I have to prepare your murder?" Lucifer asks immediately.

"Alive and kicking," Castiel replies, then mutters, "literally" under his breath. "Am I gonna find you guys, or are you gonna find me? Or are you gonna stay away from me, because it's easier than hanging out with the two buzzkills?"

"Depends on where you are," Lucifer replies.

"Some pin trading place," Castiel replies. "I think it's labeled as something like that on the map, so if you wanna find me, it's not impossible."

"I'm gonna say yes just because I like pins," Lucifer replies. "See you in a few." With that, he hangs up, leaving Castiel and Alex alone again.

Castiel picks Alex up again and holds her to his chest. "Dada's coming," he coos. "And he's probably gonna be soaking wet and you can laugh at him. Do you wanna laugh at Dada with me?"

Alex just giggles, smiling and staring blankly into space.

"You're so cute but so inattentive."

~~~

The only two who find Castiel at the pin trading post are Dean and Lucifer, and Castiel's assumption is that everyone else is looking at pins inside instead.

"Hey, she's alive!" Lucifer says with a grin when he sees his daughter. "Was she annoying or adorable? She was adorable, wasn't she?"

"As always," Castiel replies.

"Did you get any pins?" Dean asks.

"Nope, didn't have enough hands for that." He definitely wouldn't trust himself to hold someone else's baby with one hand.

"Good," Dean says, much to Castiel's surprise.

"Why is that good?"

"Because," Dean says as if it's obvious, "pins are only for people who ride Splash Mountain."

Castiel chuckles. "Oh, right, of course. Guess I'm not getting any pins this trip."

"I veto that," Lucifer announces. "Pins are for people who ride Splash Mountain, and for people who opt out and hold babies instead."

"Veto overruled," Dean says immediately. "No pins 'til Cas rides Splash Mountain."

"Again I say, it appears I won't be buying any pins this vacation," Castiel replies. "I'm not really into the whole 'riding a plastic log down a giant cliff' thing."

"That's just 'cause you've never done it before," Dean says. "It's actually really fun. Just cover your ears because they play the most annoying song you'll ever hear."

"I don't remember them playing 'Yasss,'" Lucifer says, sounding completely sincere.

Castiel chuckles. "Oh god, I would hope not." He already feels bad that it's poisoned the radios. Disney World deserves better. Although, if it were to piss off a homophobe, he really wouldn't mind that much.

~~~

"Who wants to go to get lunch?" Dean asks once they've reassembled the gang. Without waiting for a response, he claps his hands together once and says, "Great, glad we all agree. Where do we want eat?"

"That's an excellent question." Lucifer pulls out his map. "We could go to this place right here that's right next to Haunted Mansion so we could ride that afterwards."

"I can already tell from the name that I am not riding that," Castiel says. It sounds like another rollercoaster, and he's not giving that one a chance, either.

"No, it's awesome!" Dean says quickly. "No drops or anything. Even Alex can ride it, and if Alex can ride it, you can, too."

Castiel hesitates. He feels like Dean is bullshitting him again, but if Alex really can ride it, then it has to be a decently tame ride.

"Fine," he says finally. "But let's go eat first."

~~~

As Adam and Samandriel order their meals, the rest of them save two tables next to each other. Castiel's head rests on his boyfriend's shoulder as he opens Twitter to see what his fans have been up to. He hasn't done much publicly lately, so hopefully the hype around him has died down a bit and his mentions will mostly be full of fans, not assholes.

Unfortunately, the most popular tweet when he searches his name is an article titled, "Did Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester adopt a child?"

Castiel sighs. Well, so much for a drama-free twitter experience.

"Ooh, that's not good," Dean says.

Castiel glances up at him to see that he's reading over Castiel's shoulder, which doesn't surprise him. They do this a lot. Dean just rarely comments on it, because he usually doesn't care.

Then again, Dean's name is usually only mentioned in rumors claiming he's racist, sexist, and every other type of -ist known to man, which his fans seem to think is a way to protect Castiel from him, but it's actually just mildly annoying, and Dean doesn't even bat at them an eye anymore. In fact, this has gotten more of a rise out of him than that does.

"Do you wanna tweet about it?" Castiel asks him, even though he already knows Dean doesn't like tweeting and there's no chance that will happen.

"Nope," he says, popping the 'p' at the end.

"M'kay." Castiel sits up and calls Lucifer over to the table instead.

"Sup?"

Castiel just slides his phone over wordlessly.

Lucifer lets out a long breath. Finally, he says, "Well, might as well tell 'em now. It was fun acting like a kid while it lasted. But hey, at least I can start vlogging again." Lucifer gives him finger guns before sitting back down at the other table, where he pulls out his phone.

"So," Dean says quietly, "do you think he's going to make it better or worse?"

"Worse," Castiel replies without hesitation. "Things have been too quiet lately. If nothing else, my fans need someone to complain about."

Dean chuckles. "I can't believe that's actually a reality for you. I'm telling you, Cas, just take a step back from social media and let people start spreading lies. Eventually, they'll take the hint that you don't care."

"And then they'll stop giving me any attention whatsoever," Castiel adds. "I like your idea, but it's too optimistic. You can embrace the rumors on your end. I'll talk about them on mine. That way, everyone loses."

Castiel gets a notification that Lucifer tweeted,  and he immediately checks it out. It's a link to the article about the baby, with the words, "Wrong Novak and not adopted, but points for trying?"

Instead of the typical early replies saying things like "Daddy" and"Love you!" they're filled with variations of "What?" from a very frazzled group of fans. Castiel exits the replies quickly, because he knows they're not going to be neutral for long, and Lucifer will probably get some crap just because he hasn't mentioned Alex until now.

Instead, Castiel goes back to his own mentions, only to find a bunch of pictures of him in Disney, many of them with Alex. Apparently, he's worse at avoiding cellphone cameras than he thought. He opens Instagram instead, only to find the same pictures have spread like wildfire, and he doesn't condone taking pictures of people without consent, so he doesn't like any of them, just leaving the app.

"What are you going to do if you can't check social media?" Dean asks mockingly, like it's a huge problem that Castiel has never encountered before and he might not make it out alive.

Castiel chuckles softly and rests his head on his boyfriend's shoulder again. "I don't know. Want to check out the pictures on the app?"

"The app" is just as magic as the park itself. It stores all their FastPass+ times — which as basically three "get out of jail free" cards that allow them to skip lines for certain rides — and it has all the pictures provided by the parks. Those come in the form of PhotoPass photographers who take pictures in places throughout the parks — for example, there are a bunch in front of the castle at different points down the walkway, because it's apparently a very popular place for pictures — and the pictures taken on rides, which they can sync to their Magic Bands around their wrists, which then sync to the app. It's a pretty cool system, really.

Castiel scrolls through the app, bypassing all the wait times it lists for every ride in the park in favor of the pictures. It has all the pictures of every ride everyone in the group has been on, which, needless to say, is going to be a lot of pictures. It's not just the rides, though; the first pictures to show are are a set from Anna and Cain in front of the Cinderella's castle and being overly coupley, which was likely Anna's idea for a cute Instagram post.

After that are the fun ones. They skip over all the rides they haven't been on in favor of the pictures of them. Splash Mountain looks just as scary as Castiel had imagined, but everyone seems to be enjoying it, god knows how.

Lucifer is dabbing in the back row, and Gabriel is doing the same to the other side. In front of them are, Claire, Sam, and Dean, all with their heads in their hands as if they're ashamed to know the boys, but it's very clearly posed. The row in front of that is Charlie and Gilda, who both have their arms out, giving the world a thumbs up. In front of them, the very front row, are Samandriel and Adam, who are high fiving with exaggerated smiles.

"You guys are so weird," Castiel tells him.

"It would have been better if you were there," Dean replies. "You would've completed the weirdness."

"That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," Castiel jokes. He always gets a laugh out of people calling him weird online, because they usually mean it as an insult, but weird is the new cool. Dean has picked up on that over time.

Next is the array of pictures from Space Mountain. As soon as Dean sees their picture, he bursts out laughing, despite having already seen it a few hours earlier.

"Your face is still priceless," Dean tells him. "Hey, can you send that one to me?"

Castiel raises an eyebrow but does anyway. Dean removes his arm from his boyfriend's shoulder to take out his phone, and the younger boy whines quietly. He's not sure what Dean's doing, but it can wait. Cuddles come first.

"No, hold on," Dean says, fiddling with something on his phone.

It's not until Castiel gets a notification that Dean posted on Instagram that he realizes he should have thought twice before sending Dean the pictures. He immediately opens the notification to see three pictures.

The first is the original picture, which seems fairly boring. He tagged both Castiel and Samandriel, not that either of them will see it in their mentions with how many people tag them daily. The second is an extreme closeup of Castiel's face, which looks funny on just about any face, but especially with the expression Castiel is making. The last picture is exactly the same, except littered throughout it are phrases in small white letters.

"*help*"

"*save me*"

"*wHaT?"

"*scared*"

"Did — did you just make a meme?" Castiel asks slowly. Dean may like sending memes, but he's not the type of person to make them, and definitely not the type to post them when he hates showing off the human side of him to the public.

"And it's a damn good one, too, if I do say so myself," Dean replies. "You know, for having done it in under two minutes."

Castiel chuckles. "Yeah, no." He types out a comment, and waits to make sure Dean doesn't complain before he posts it.

"This is why I don't like you."

Dean scrolls through to find his comment and replies with, "You love me :)"

Castiel comments, "I hate you."

Dean moves away from Castiel and shields his phone as he types out a response. Castiel tries to peer over his shoulder and catch a glimpse, but Dean manages to keep it out of his sight, so he has to find it in the comment strand, which is already overly populated by fans trying to get their attention.

"That's not what you said last night ;)"

Castiel scoffs. "Dean!" He smacks his boyfriend on the shoulder.

Dean seems to think it's the funniest thing in the world, because he's laughing his ass off. "I'm sorry, you just made it way too easy."

"You know, I have a reputation to uphold," Castiel tells him.

Dean waves a hand dismissively. "Reputation schmeputation."

"Says the one without the reputation to uphold," Castiel pouts.

Dean chuckles and puts an arm around him again, but this time, Castiel doesn't snuggle up to him as a protest.

"Aw, come on," Dean whines. "Cuz of one little Instagram comment?"

"Yes," Castiel says stubbornly, making a much bigger deal out of it than it is just to annoy him. He really doesn't care, and he's actually kind of excited to see what people have to say about it, but he can toy with his boyfriend for a little while.

"Would you like me to delete the comment?" Dean offers.

"No, I just want to complain about it," Castiel replies.

Dean raises an eyebrow. "So are you mad, or...?"

"I'm very mad." Castiel says.

"Oh really?" Dean says with a smirk. "Then why can I see you smiling?"

"What?" Castiel covers his mouth with his hand. "What smile?"

"I can see it in your face that you're smiling under your hand," Dean tells him.

Castiel hides his face against Dean's chest. "I'm not smiling. What are you talking about?" His voice is muffled by Dean's shirt, but he doesn't care.

"Oh, no, I'm sure you're not," Dean jokes. "I'm sure I was just seeing things, and you're just casually shielding your face for no reason."

"Exactly! Glad you understand." Castiel moves his face away and cuddles up to his boyfriend again, grabbing his phone so he can respond to Dean's comment again.

"I changed my mind. THIS is why I don't like you."

Dean chuckles. "It was so worth it, though."

"Say that to my fans when they start attacking you." It's an inevitable truth that his fans will overreact and get mad at Dean, especially because they already hate him.

"I will," Dean replies. "And then I'll laugh in their faces and walk away because they may think there cool, but they aren't dating Castiel Novak, so I'm still winning." He pauses, then adds, "At least, I would hope they're not dating Castiel Novak, or this would be a very awkward situation."

Castiel chuckles. "My god, you're weird."

"Thanks you, Cas. Thank you very much."