A/N I'm chapter cramming so I can drag out the fluff later and because I know what I want chapter 200 to be so I gotta make way for that so enjoy some long chapters

Castiel eventually makes it to Sioux Falls, after being faced with what feels like a hundred cameras. He makes weird faces towards all of them, as always. Hopefully, people will see that he's not the sad person everyone thought he was after the photos leaked. They'd be wrong, of course, but that's not the point.

He takes a taxi to the Novak house, lugging his suitcase behind him. He's pleasantly surprised to find the front door unlocked, and just walks in. He leaves his suitcase by the door and looks around, but the second he finds his family, he freezes.

"Hey?" he says awkwardly, and though he means for it to go towards everyone, he can't take his eyes off Claire.

"Hey," she says, giving him a small wave with one hand, her other on her stomach. "Surprise?"

Castiel just stares at her for a moment, then says, "Are you...?"

She gives him a small, almost hesitant smile. "Yes."

Castiel nods slowly. "Okay... Do — do you know who the father is?"

Claire glances to the side, and Castiel follows her gaze to see Lucifer, Samandriel, and Adam all sitting at the kitchen table. Samandriel and Adam are playing some card game, seemingly Go Fish, and Lucifer has a guinea pig in his lap. The oldest boy raises a hand awkwardly, his other resting on top of his pet to keep him from running away. "That would be me."

Castiel's eyes widen at that. "Wait, you and — but —"

Claire nods. "We were going to tell you at Christmas, which is why it was smaller than usual and why we told you that you had to come, but obviously, that didn't work out."

"Huh." Castiel takes a moment to process that. And he thought it was just for the Disney trip. "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"Not yet," Claire tells him.

"Do you have names picked out?" Castiel asks, trying to be conversational instead of just staring at the small but still noticeable baby bump.

She nods. "Alex. Works for either a boy or a girl."

"Any particular reason why, or do you just like the name?" He's pretty sure Lucifer never knew anyone named Alex, celebrities he fangirls over included, so it must be Claire's choice.

"I had a friend named Alex," she explains, "but she killed herself almost four years ago. It's kinda in her honor, ya know?"

"That's sweet," Castiel says, mostly because he's not sure what else to say. Maybe under different circumstances, he would have a response to that story, but he's still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Lucifer got Claire pregnant. That might take a while to sink in.

~~

Castiel searches for Lucifer that night, because he's yet to officially meet Mark the guinea pig. He finds his brother in his bedroom with the lights turned off, staring at his computer screen as he edits a video, his head resting in his hand. Castiel has never seen Lucifer look so bored in his entire life.

"Hey," Castiel says quietly.

Lucifer jumps at the sound of his voice. "Oh, hey, Castiel." He stifles a yawn and turns around to face his brother. "What brings my favorite magical rainbow here?" He puts in a cheerful smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Castiel asks.

"What'd'ya mean?" Lucifer asks. "I'm fine. Just editing a vlog. How are you?"

Castiel shrugs. "Not bad." He kneels next to his brother, looking at the guinea pig, who's in a cage on the desk. "He's so cute."

"Well, obviously," Lucifer says. "He's a guinea pig. He has to be cute. It's, like, the law of guinea pigging."

Castiel chuckles. "Oh, right, of course. I should've known." He sticks a finger through the bars of the cage, and Mark slowly walks over to it, sniffing it. Without warning, he tries to bite it, but Castiel quickly pulls away. "I take it back. He is a vicious monster!"

Lucifer laughs. "He does that whenever you stick anything in there. Wood, carrots, human flesh. It's all the same to him."

Castiel chuckles. He backs away from the cage, then gestures to Lucifer's bed. "Can I sit?"

"I would hope so," he says. "You don't look like you have any broken bones, and your hip joints appear to be working fine. I don't see why you wouldn't be able to sit down."

Castiel chuckles. "I'm gonna take that as a yes." He takes a seat on the side of the bed, and Lucifer turns his spinning chair around to face him. "So, you and Claire, huh?"

Lucifer just nods. Sensing he's supposed to say something more, he adds, "For a few months now, yeah."

"I have to admit, it's not quite what I was expecting to come home to," he says.

"I know," Lucifer says. "It's been, what, eight years since I've had a girlfriend?"

"That long?" Castiel says in surprise.

He nods. "Not since high school, and honestly, high school relationships shouldn't really count as relationships." He pauses, then adds, "Except for Destiel and Sabriel. Soulmates are a whole different boat."

"No, soulmates are ships," Castiel jokes.

Lucifer bursts out laughing at that, probably laughing harder than he should be for such a bad joke. "That's something I would say! I may not have seen you in six months, but you're still secretly me, whether you want to admit it or not."

Castiel chuckles. "Oh god, I hope not."

"Hey, you wish you were as cool as me!"

He scoffs. "Funny joke."

"All my jokes are funny, so yes, yes it was," Lucifer replies with exaggerated confidence.

Castiel chuckles. Not sure how to respond to that, he changes the subject. "So, you ready to be a dad?"

Lucifer's smile falters, but he quickly recovers and says enthusiastically, "Yes! I get to make a little mini me! How cool is that?"

Castiel cocks his head in confusion. "You don't really seem that excited about it."

"What? 'Course I am!" Lucifer insists. "I get to teach a human how to human!"

Castiel just raises an eyebrow skeptically.

"What's that look for? I'm excited. See?" He bounces up and down in his chair. "Excitement."

Castiel waits patiently for him to admit that he's lying.

Lucifer sighs. "I don't want to talk about it, okay? I just — I wanna make videos and make people laugh so they forget all their life problems, and just not think about that."

"And you're just gonna ignore your own life problems," Castiel finishes. "Great plan."

Lucifer rolls his eyes, something he rarely does in anything other than lighthearted conversation — although he rarely has any other type of conversation, anyway. "Don't you have your own problems to worry about? Any problems. Any at all."

"I can multitask," Castiel replies simply.

"Well, I can't," Lucifer says, turning his chair back to face his computer. "I've got a video to edit."

"But —"

"Good night, Castiel."

Castiel sighs. Looks like he's not getting Lucifer to talk to him tonight. He'll try again tomorrow.

"Good night, Luce."

~~

When Castiel wakes up, the only other people awake are Claire and Samandriel, who are playing some card game. Twice in under 24 hours? Since when are cards a popular pastime for the Novaks?

"What are you playing?" Castiel asks.

"Cribbage," Samandriel says.

Castiel raises an eyebrow. He's no expert at card games, but he's pretty sure you need a cribbage board to play cribbage.

"We're keeping score on our phones," Claire adds, holding hers up to reveal her calculator.

"How — You know what? I'm not gonna question it." Castiel sits down at the table with them to watch.

It's a few minutes later when Lucifer bounds into the room. "'Morning, friendos!" He gives Claire a brief kiss on the forehead, then leans down and whispers to Samandriel, "Let her win or she'll kill you," loudly enough that everyone can hear. He takes a seat next to him like nothing ever happened.

"I'm already winning by enough that Claire's basically already lost," Samandriel says, grinning.

"Then you're already dead."

Deciding now is as good a time as any, especially seeing that Lucifer seems to be in a good mood, though he's almost always in a good mood, Castiel says, "Hey, Luce, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," Lucifer says, but doesn't move.

"Alone?" Castiel adds, though he knows Lucifer knew what he meant.

"Ugh, but that would involve standing up and walking and I'm just too lazy for that," he whines.

Castiel frowns. "Later?"

Lucifer shrugs. "Maybe."

Castiel already knows he really means no, but he's persistent, so if Lucifer won't talk to him, he'll find another way.

Castiel pulls out his phone, and, when Claire asks, says he's texting Dean, which is a complete lie.

Castiel: Hey.

Lucifer pulls out his own phone, probably having felt it vibrate. He glances at Castiel, then starts to put his phone away again.

"Wow, you guys are popular today," Claire says. "Who's that?"

"Michael," Lucifer lies.

"You can't leave Michael hanging like that," Castiel protests, though he really means "You can't leave me hanging like that."

Lucifer pauses, then sighs. "I guess you're right."

Lucifer: Woah hey Cassie! I haven't seen you in so long!

Castiel can't tell if he's being sarcastic or just being a dork.

Castiel: What's up?

Lucifer: It's a movie about a Boy Scout and a grumpy old man who fly away in a house attached to a bunch of balloons and they meet a talking dog and a bird named Kevin who likes chocolate.

Castiel: -_-

Lucifer: Ooohhhh you mean what's up in life, don't you?

Castiel: -_-

Lucifer: Well

Lucifer: Mark kept biting his cage all night

Lucifer: And it was really loud

Lucifer: And I usually don't have to deal with that

Lucifer: Because he's usually in your room

Lucifer: So that was annoying

Lucifer: But he's really cute so it's okay.

Castiel looks over at him to make sure he's done text spamming, because he makes the mistake of assuming his brother is done when he's not far too often. Lucifer just looks at him, which he takes to mean he's done.

Castiel: That's not quite what I was talking about.

Lucifer: I know

Lucifer: But

Lucifer: I also know what you were talking about

Lucifer: And I don't want to talk about that

Lucifer: And you already know that

Lucifer: Because I told you that last night

Lucifer: So

Lucifer: That's going to stay out of our conversation

Lucifer: Or I will block your phone number so you can't text me

Lucifer: M'kay?

Castiel frowns. He looks over at his brother, who just shrugs slightly.

Castiel: Fine, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

Lucifer: I'm very much aware that you're here.

Lucifer: In fact

Lucifer: You're sitting right across from me right now

Lucifer: So I don't know how I wouldn't be aware that you're here

Lucifer: Unless I was blind

Lucifer: And I'm not.

Castiel bites back a sigh. If there's one thing Lucifer is good at, it's only having fun, lighthearted conversations. Well, that and text spamming, which seems to be his favorite pastime.