Chapter 9 ~ The Truth

[Harry]

I watched the door slam shut after Louis and his family as I was standing in the staircase. No one knew I was watching them, not even Liam. I had told him that I was just going to the bathroom, but instead, I decided to be a little sneaky. So, I went back to eavesdrop on my family and Louis' conversation.

The second the house fell silent, I sank down to the steps, my back against the railing. I bit my bottom lip as I thought of what they had been talking about. I hadn't heard everything, just the last part when mom mentioned she was desperate because she thought I had changed too much. I wanted to snort at the thought. Changed? I mean, I was still the same guy, in the same body. What did she even mean by it?

The fact that Louis seemed to know exactly what she was talking about made me even more confused, but I guess I shouldn't give it too much thought. They were probably just sad that I had taken distance from him. However, there was nothing to do about that. It was my decision after all.

After a while of thinking, I stood up and went back to my room where Liam was lying on my bed, his phone in his hands. His head snapped in my direction when I shut the door behind me. "Took you long enough," he muttered, making me roll my eyes.

"Sorry, I had to use the toilet."

He chuckled, shuffling closer to the wall so I could fit beside him. I lied down, putting my hands behind my head for support. We started watching some videos on Liam's phone, laughing at people who were making fun of each other.

Just as one video stopped playing, he put his phone down and kept his eyes on the wall in front of us. I furrowed my eyebrows at the action, wondering what he was thinking about. "Hey, what's up?" I asked.

He bit his bottom lip, shrugging his shoulders. "Nothing. I just... Eh, it doesn't matter."

The curiosity blew up inside me. I shouldered him playfully. "Come on, tell me. You know you can tell me anything."

He let out a sigh, looking out the window. "I was just wondering... I know you don't want to talk about it. You made it very clear last time I tried, but I just need to know, alright?"

The fact that he wouldn't get to the point made me even more curious about what he wanted to talk about, and a little frustrated as well. However, considering what he just said, did I really want to know what he was thinking about? What was he even talking about in the first place?

The curiosity got the best of me though, and I shrugged. "Shoot."

"Okay... So, Louis. He was your boyfriend, right?"

The second he mentioned the name, I felt a tug in my heart. "Liam, I told yo--"

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I know you don't want to talk about him. Last time I tried after he had been here the first time, you refused to even say his name. Clearly, something must have happened between the two of you, and I want to know, alright?"

I sat up in bed, looking down at him. "Why can't you just accept the fact that I don't want to talk about him? He's a finished chapter in my life, okay? You don't have to worry about him, ever. Let's just forget about him," I snapped.

He wouldn't meet my gaze as he was still looking out the window. It was quiet for a minute until he finally opened his mouth. "He's Lou, isn't he?" He almost whispered.

Again, I felt a tug in my heart. Looking down at the bracelet that was still around my wrist, I swallowed hard. He was Lou, and he wore the exact same bracelet as me... or did. He had probably taken it off by now. I had given it to him when we were twelve, and I could still remember that day as clearly as if it had happened yesterday.

"I... Yeah, he is," was all I said.

"I thought so."

After that, it fell silent between us, and it was pretty awkward too. It was as if both of us were scared to say something, too afraid that it would be the wrong thing to say. Eventually, though, I broke the silence.

"We grew up together. Our moms were friends when they were young and that made us friends too. When we were fourteen, we realized we had feelings for each other, so we decided to get into a relationship. We were together till the day I auditioned for the X Factor. He... He didn't want to be known by everyone."

It was a lie. I knew it was a lie, but I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't tell him that I had abandoned Louis because I thought he wasn't cool enough to know me anymore. I mean, he was just a boy that lived in a shitty town. Not that my management would have allowed our relationship to be public anyway. However, I hadn't even wanted him to still be my friend.

"Wow, that's sad. So, you just accepted that and you just broke up with each other, or what?" He asked.

I shrugged, not meeting his gaze. "We just never talked after that."

He nodded, looking down at his lap. "So, do you still have feelings for him? I mean, considering he was the one who didn't want to be with you anymore and not the other way around."

I bit my lip. I normally hated lying, and I was usually shitty at it too, but in this situation, I had to do my very best. He couldn't know the truth, because that would make him hate me. He wouldn't want to see me again. Not that I had ever considered the fact that I still had feelings for Louis, because I had stopped thinking about him a long time ago. Due to the fact that it hadn't been him who left me, but me who left him, I would still have to lie though.

"No, of course, I don't. I haven't thought about him in a long time. I have you now, don't I?" I chuckled, shouldering him again.

He smiled for a second before turning serious again. "Then why are you still wearing this?" He asked, grabbing my hand so I could see the bracelet hanging there.

"Because... Because it doesn't feel right to just take it off. I have worn it for so many years that it feels like it's a part of me. It doesn't mean anything, it has just always been there," I shrugged.

Surprisingly, he accepted that explanation and nodded his head. The topic about Louis died down after that and we started talking about other stuff instead, which I was happy about. I never liked to talk about him after what happened, and I had never needed to before this either, considering no one knew him in my new life. So, these past few days had felt like I'd been balancing on a thin line.

Dinner that evening was pretty silent, and I didn't expect anything else. Dinner every day since I came back had been quiet. Not even Robin would say much, and I found it a little weird. I thought they would be happy to see me again after such a long time, but it didn't seem like it.

When I was ready to go to bed, I crawled down under the covers and made myself comfortable. Liam was already beside me, my back facing him. I was too tired to say anything. I just wanted to go to sleep, and he seemed to be thinking the same thing considering he just wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me close.

I let my eyelids fall shut and tried relaxing. However, a certain blue-eyed boy wouldn't leave my mind. I'd had the same problem the last few days, but today was even worse. I couldn't stop thinking about him for some reason. The fact that Liam reminded me of the bracelet earlier didn't exactly make matters better either.

Images of the past started playing in my head. How we had used to lie just like this, only that I had been the one spooning Louis and not the other way around. I could also remember how we always used to laugh together. Nothing had ever been weird or awkward with him. We always enjoyed each other's company and kind of took it for granted. We were just always there for each other, and that was it. Everything was just so... easy.

And then I threw it away, just because of my fame. If I regretted leaving him, I was the only one to blame. The question was; did I? Wasn't I better off with Liam? He was used to the cameras and the media. Nothing was difficult with him either, and the fans loved him. Louis was in the past after all, and the reason why I was thinking about him so much lately must only be because of the fact that he had shown up in my life again, right?

With those thoughts in my head, I finally drifted off to sleep, even if it wasn't as peaceful as I would have liked it to be.

-

Monday morning, Liam and I went to school with Paul and some other guards like we had done all the other days in case someone would freak out and mob us. It was for safety, they said. I shrugged it off, being used to it anyway and not seeing any harm in it.

Once we arrived at school, I hopped out of the car together with Liam and said goodbye to Paul and the other guys. There was always someone watching the gates if any paparazzi or someone would try to sneak in, so I knew that they wouldn't be far from us anyway.

We walked into the building without touching each other in any way considering no one was supposed to know that we were in a relationship. The only one who did was Louis... and if he had told anyone, of course. However, judging by the way people were acting, no rumor was going around at least.

When we were standing at our lockers, I couldn't help but notice a giggling sound coming from the other side of the hallway. I looked over just to feel my chest tighten. I knew Louis had a girlfriend now. Not only had I witnessed it, but he had even mentioned it himself at lunch on Saturday. Yet, it still hurt to see him with someone else. I knew it shouldn't considering what I had done to him and that I was with Liam now, but for some reason, it still bothered me.

First class was English, and it was actually my favorite subject. It probably didn't seem like it judging by the first time I was here, but during the past few days, I had grown to start liking it. It had always been my favorite subject before I quit school, so it shouldn't surprise me, but the fact that it was the one lesson I shared with Louis wasn't a part of that reason, I swear.

Since Liam didn't share English with me, I said goodbye to him and started making my way towards the classroom. It was weird walking in these school halls again. It didn't feel the same at all, and that wasn't only because people couldn't stop glancing my way. It just felt strange to be back, like I didn't fit in here anymore.

With my books in my right hand, I entered the classroom, for the first time being kind of early to class. I would always wait until the bell rang, but today I guess I didn't want to draw any attention. Mr. Waltz was already sitting at his desk, writing in something that I assumed was his notes.

"Good morning, Mr. Waltz," I greeted, making him look up at me. He did it so fast I almost chuckled at the sight. He was probably just as surprised by my presence as I was.

"Mr. Styles? I see you're on time today," he replied in a professional voice.

Looking around the classroom, I noticed that I was even the first one here. I nodded my head, walking over to the seat I usually sat in. "Yeah, I guess I needed a change."

Mr. Waltz looked impressed but also a little interested. Instead of dropping the subject, he took off his glasses and kept his gaze on me. "Any special reason?"

I shrugged, looking out the window dismissively. It wasn't like I wanted to talk about my deepest feelings and emotions with my teacher that I barely knew. I had only been back for a week after all. "Not really," I muttered eventually.

He seemed to notice my lack of interest in the conversation and turned back to his notes. "I see..." He trailed off, biting his bottom lip. I couldn't tell whether he thought more of it or if his curiosity just dropped immediately.

Deciding not to think about it, I took out my phone from my pocket and decided to make a tweet to inform my fans that I was alright. Instantly, my notifications popped up with replies, asking me if my voice was getting better and if I would get back to touring earlier. I replied to some of them, telling them that things weren't changing, but that my voice wasn't getting worse at least.

When I was done with that, the bell rang, and it didn't take long until the classroom was full of students. Mr. Waltz cleared his throat and got up from his chair. "Today I am going to introduce our next project... Or it's not a project really, more like a test. You'll work two and two, and the reason behind this test is for you two as a group to agree on each question and pick the answer that you think suits you the best. Is that understood?"

Everyone nodded while my eyebrows furrowed. What kind of stupid idea was this? Why did he want us to agree on some stupid answers to some weird questions? It sounded very strange to me.

"Alright, then I'm going to pair you guys up. This is the funny part about it all. You're not going to have your friend as your partner. This is for you all to get to know each other a little better, and I think it'll be fun to see if any of you will give in to your partner. Now, I'm going to read the list of the groups."

I looked out the window while Mr. Waltz said who was paired up with who, feeling as uninterested as I could probably be. It was really stupid. Why couldn't we just work on a project individually? That was why I liked this class the best. I liked working in silence by myself.

"Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson."

My head snapped to my teacher the second I heard him speak those two names. He could not be serious. There was no way he just said that. Louis and I... We were friends? Well, not anymore, but still. There was no way he would put us together. Before I could interrupt though, Louis beat me to it.

"Um, sorry sir?"

Mr. Waltz was just done talking and had placed his notebook on his desk. When Louis spoke up, he turned to him and let his glasses slide further down his nose. "Yes, Mr. Tomlinson?"

I looked back and forth between the teacher and the brown-haired boy as Mr. Waltz looked at the younger boy expectantly. "Uh, may I please switch partners?" Louis asked pleadingly.

Well, it didn't surprise me that he didn't want to be partners with me, I was going to disagree with it as well. Yet, I couldn't help but feel a little hurt about it. It was weird and stupid, but I just couldn't help it.

Mr. Waltz gave him a smile as he feigned to think about it. "No, you may not. Now, switch seats so you're sitting next to your partner and I will hand out the tests."

I didn't make a move, and neither did Louis. Deciding to be brave though, I looked over to the brown haired boy while everyone was trying to find their partner and noticed that he was fiddling with his fingers on the table while staring at them. I didn't know if he could feel my gaze on him, but right then, he looked up to meet my eyes, and instantly, I could feel my stomach erupt with butterflies. God, he was still so damn beautiful. Maybe even more so now...

Shaking my thoughts out of my head, I looked away from him. I wasn't going to switch seats. If we would do this test thing, he would come to my desk. However, I didn't expect him to.

That was why I wasn't even surprised when I heard the classroom door slam shut only ten seconds later. When I looked up again, I noticed that Louis' seat was now, in fact, empty.

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Dun dun dun! Now you got to see what's going on inside Harry's head! I hope you liked this chapter and are looking forward to the next one. Thank you for reading!

Pauline .xx