I was anxious to say the least about my hookie day with Blake. This wouldn’t be the first time that we would be completely alone, but this was the first time that we were actually going out somewhere to do something.

A date.

No, I told myself. I can’t call it that.

Both of us agreed on no labels and that’s exactly how we were going to keep it. With no labels there were no complications and also I didn’t have to feel bad for my feelings for a certain person whom I couldn’t escape no matter how hard I tried.

Austin was like an inescapable force, and he wasn’t leaving my heart that easily.

I really liked Blake, and I didn’t want to go into something with him if I still had feelings for someone else. It wouldn’t be fair to him, and it wouldn’t be fair to me either. As much as I wanted to get into something with him, it would be weird for him to be with someone who was in love with somebody else.

Before I got into any serious relationship, all feelings I have towards Austin need to be put in the past. Once I’ve moved on, then I will have room in my life to open up to Blake and show him what it’s like to be loved.

Something told me that he needed a person in his life that would care for him and be there when he needs someone the most. There wasn’t much that Blake had shared with me so far. Either he was scared of me getting close to him, or he had something to hide, but I’d break through his tough exterior sooner or later.

Maybe today would be the day where I could figure out more about the mystery that is Blake Miller. This would be my little mission. Towards the end of the day I will know more about my-

Significant other.

It was almost nine AM and I finally was in his apartment parking lot. He was already walking out of the front door and had a huge basket in his hands.

He couldn’t be serious, could he?

When he got in the passenger seat, I gave him a look that said, really? He just stared at me for a second before chuckling. “Oh come on, Hare. Just trying to pull a few cliches while I’m out with my favorite guy.”

I couldn’t keep the blush out of my cheeks when he called me his favorite guy. Before he could comment on my flushed face, I started the car. “So where is this day of fun taking place?”

“Just drive,” he ordered. “I’ll give directions as we go.”

I just nodded and turned onto the street. It didn’t take long to make it to our destination, so small talk was able to get us through the talk.

A small gravel road lead us to a small parking area surrounded by different entrances into the woods. Since it was towards the end of fall, it was cold enough that not many people would be around. Also given the fact that it was a weekday, most people would be at work or school anyways.

“You should have mentioned how cold it was going to be,” I said, rubbing my arms over my band hoodie’s sleeves after slamming my car door behind me.

He closed his door and said, “It’s fall, Harry. What did you expect?”

“You to tell me how cold it would be!”

Blake only laughed at my complaining and shrugged off his big jacket he brought with him. “It’s forty five degrees, Hare,” he said, wrapping his second layer around my shoulders. “Suck it up.”

I guide my hands through the sleeves and shake my head. “Wow, I’m glad I have someone like you around to protect me,” I replied dryly.

“Always and forever, babe.” Blake eyed me for a moment before clearing his throat, noticing my discomfort to words as powerful as always and forever. We stared awkwardly at each other for a moment before he averted eye contact, almost embarrassed and started to walk off towards the path closest to us.

We walked in silence for a little bit, Blake sometimes walking a little faster than I was comfortable with, most likely without realizing it. “Now might be a...good time...to tell you...” I took deep breaths while trailing after him. “I’m not a big fan of exercise.”

He looked back at me for a moment, giving me a questioning look as I took out my inhaler from my jacket pocket. I brought the nozzle to my mouth, taking a deep breath and then letting go after a few seconds.

“I didn’t know you had Asthma.”

“Four years.” I took another deep breath. “And counting.”

Blake stopped right where he was, looking at me with concern in his eyes. “It must be pretty bad if you have to use it now. We’ve barely been walking for half an hour.”

“It’s been getting worse,” I sighed, thinking about the doctor’s appointment I had less than a week ago. “Right now the doctor says that my asthma severity level is at moderate persistent, but he fears that sooner or later it’s going to get to severe persistent where I’ll have symptoms going on continually throughout the day.”

“Are you going to be okay to walk?” He asked, then smirked. “I could always carry you if that works better for you.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “I’ll be fine.”

He nodded and grabbed my hand in his as we continued down the path together. A blush creeped into my cheeks.

As we walked, I kept looking at Blake, his smile was so big and beautiful that I couldn’t look away. When I first me him, I didn’t see past that cocky way he held himself to see who he really was. Maybe he was the kind of guy to give off that impression and then when he lets you in, you see his true colors.

And what a shocking assortment it was.

Not only was he understanding, sweet, and had a way of getting me to laugh, but he also made me feel safe. He made me feel like nothing could hurt me again. Of course, there was always the chance of getting hurt, but with him by my side, it felt like he could get me to see past the bad things that happen in life.

Even though we agreed on not making a commitment, it felt like he was not going to leave me. It sounded silly, thinking it over in my head, but it felt true. I tried to shake these thoughts from my mind. After all, I couldn’t be hurt again.

We made small talk until we reached a small dock that looked over a lake. It was small, but in the light of the morning, size didn’t matter. It was beautiful nonetheless. I was always a sucker for the scenery of the outdoors.

I wasn’t much of an outdoor person, but that never stopped me from enjoying it.

“I have an idea,” Blake said as he dropped into sitting position, his legs hanging over the dock, just inches from reaching the water. I joined him, swinging my legs over as well. “Let’s do a question game.”

“Should I be worried?” I chuckled, looking at him warily.

“They’re questions, not dares.” He drawled. “But coming from me... maybe.”

This made me laugh out loud.

“They’re just so I can get to know you. Okay, I’ll go first!” He exclaimed, sounding rather chipper. “When did you find out you were gay?”

I hadn’t thought of that day in ages it seemed like eons ago and not two years.

Amber and I had snuck away from her older step-brother Rodney again. He seemed to always have a watchful eye on her so it was always difficult for her and I to have alone time. It had been a few months since I rescued her at Austin’s party from the pool incident.

That was how her and I met for the first time.

Whittney being the douchebag he always tried so hard to be threw her in after accusing Austin for cheating on Sabrina. Of course, he wasn’t cheating on her and Whittney protected Austin the only way he knew, by hurting the person responsible.

After being thrown in the pool, we realized that she couldn’t swim. I jumped in right after her and saved her from drowning. It was only natural that she developed a crush on me, which I didn’t mind. She was a cute girl.

I was leaning against the locker next to hers, making sure to check for Rodney every now and then. It seemed like the more him and I were hanging out lately, the more I felt like our friendship was nearing it’s end. There weren’t many kind words being exchanged between us anymore, and to be honest, he was starting to scare me.

“You don’t have to worry about Rodney, Hare,” Amber promised me as she grabbed my hand. As much as I wanted to feel something, it was nothing compared to how it felt to be around my best friend, Austin.

It sounded weird to think this way, but he always seemed to make me feel better about everything.

“Come on.” She smirked at me as she pulled me to the janitor’s closet with her. I couldn’t say no to a girl practically asking for some one on one action, but I also couldn’t help but feel weird.

This confused me completely. Shouldn’t I be excited that the girl I’ve been after for quite a while is eager to have some alone time? Nonetheless, I still followed her.

Once the door was closed, she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me close. Her fingers tangled in my hair and pulled roughly. My mouth opened in response, allowing her tongue the entrance it craved, not fighting the small feeling in my groin. It was small, but still there.

Through this whole experience my mind kept running back to Austin. The thought  of his lips in place Amber’s sent shivers down my spine and I quickly pulled away.

What the fuck?

I ran my hands through my hair as my breathing increased.

“What’s wrong?” Amber asked, worry all over her face. “Inhaler, Harry. Inhaler.”

Listening to her pleads, I pulled my inhaler out of my back pocket and inhaled deeply. My breathing started to steady and I was feeling a little better, but still flustered.

“I-I gotta go.”

I felt bad leaving her like this, but I had to get out of there. Obviously my lack of oxygen to my lungs was causing me to be delusional. What was I thinking about back there? I was literally thinking of kissing my best friend.

A guy!

In that moment while I was kissing Amber, I was thinking of my best friend. As screwed up as that was, I couldn’t look past how right I imagined that to feel. This couldn’t be coincidence could it? People don’t just randomly think of kissing someone of the same sex, do they?

This was wrong. It was really wrong.

Was I gay for my best friend?

“At first I thought it was just me not thinking clearly,” I told him. “Then the more Amber and I got together, the more and more I was thinking of Austin. It didn’t make sense to me at first as to why I was feeling like this all of a sudden, but I guess it was the fact that around this time it was when Sabrina was in the picture more and more and Austin was slowly falling in love. I guess I couldn’t take seeing him so happy with someone that wasn’t me.”

“You were doing Rodney’s younger sister? No wonder that guy has it out for you.”

I shrugged and looked Blake over carefully. “After a couple more weeks of trying and trying to convince myself I didn’t have feelings for him, I decided to give up. I was gay and there was nothing I had to be ashamed about.”

Blake patted my back. “I couldn’t agree with you more.”

“Um, the question I have for you is a little more personal.”

“Go for it.”

“Where are your parents?” I blurted. Almost wanting to punch myself for how unsettle I was.

Suddenly all the color from Blake’s face drained away. A sharp gasp came from him and I started to feel terrible. He noticed my face and put his hand on mine. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just a  rough subject for me.” He paused for a second, taking a deep breath. “They’re both not with me anymore. My mom died when I was really young, only five. Then my dad died last year, so it’s still kinda fresh on my mind, you know?”

“Oh wow.” That was all I could say as I looked down.

“What about you?” He asked, his voice not as broken as a few moments before. “I know that you have a mom, but where’s your dad?”

“He left.” I tried to not sound so distraught about it, given what happened to Blake’s parents, but I couldn’t help it. “My dad used to be the best person in the world. I thought he was one of the most respectful people I’ve ever known and then just a few days after finding out that I was gay, he bolted. I haven’t heard from him since.”

“He sounds like a dick.”

I just shrugged.

“My mom never lived to know about my preferences, but my dad was always supportive. He would always say that he didn’t care who I liked as long as he got some grandkids one way or another.” He chuckled to himself and I smiled.

“Your dad sounds like he was a pretty cool guy.” I moved my hand from under his and turned it so that our palms were against each other. My fingers laced with his in an attempt to comfort him, he sent me a gratified smile in return.

“He was.”

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, staring towards the water of the lake. It shined as the sun which was only half risen gleamed over the ripples.

Leaning over, I lied my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, enjoying the peace and quiet. I wasn’t outside a lot, so I had to get used to the sounds and smells of nature, but it wasn’t bad. Somehow, I could tell that Blake loved it out here. His breathing was relaxed it was obvious he was used to the surroundings. Almost like he was losing himself in them.

“You really like the outdoors, don’t you?” I asked as I tightened my hold on his hand.

“My dad and I used to camp all the time. I guess this is a way for me to feel connected with him.” He let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. “That’s why I wanted to take you here. Dad used to take me here, to this very spot and go fishing once a month. You mean a lot to me, and I wanted to show you this place.”

“Wow.” That was all I could really say at the moment.

“I do believe it’s my turn to ask you a question.” Blake smiled down at me and I urged him to continue. “I know we agreed that labels weren’t really our thing, but after getting to know you these past weeks I’ve been getting to thinking. You are the sweetest guy I’ve ever met and I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay with our inability to admit what we are."

“So, Harry Whittemore, will you be my boyfriend?”