I knocked on the door to Pen's apartment after tracking him down with the map.

It felt strange to say he had an apartment, but it was the only word that also felt somewhat accurate.

As I waited for someone to open the door, I reflected over the reason I even stood here in the first place:

The note that told me I shouldn't do this.

What was he thinking, writing something like that? Didn't he know this would just make me want to come more?

I wanted an explanation behind this, that's why I was willing to go so out of my way..

But I knocked over and over and no answer came. I grew frustrated.

“I know you're in here. Come out, I just want to talk!”

A moment of silence passed before I heard timid footsteps shuffling from the other side of the door.

“Open the door,” I said.

“I can hear you from here, sir.”

At once I noticed the nervous edge in his words whilst he tried desperately to sound peppy. Did I really scare him now? I hadn't even done anything wrong! Recently.

Still, I didn't want to blow this by being tactless, so I softened my voice, trying to sound kinder than I really felt.

“Pen, what's the deal behind this note you left in my coat? Or — how did you manage to get into 1-A anyway?”

“Well I — you see, I — I don't — I can't say.” The way his voice dropped on the last word hit me surprisingly deep. “But I would rather you stay away from me. Please. I don't want to be involved in this.”

His words felt heavier than they really were, confusing me to no end.

“Be involved in what? If you're going to terrified of me, at least let me know why.” I knocked again on the door. “I'll wait here as long as I have to.”

But I got tired of waiting, and not a minute after I'd said that I went back to 1-A, feeling frustrated by my lack of knowledge. I would find out, eventually, but at the moment there was nothing to do.

I was about to open the door when I heard Antoinette from behind me.

“Sebastian, wait.”

I felt a terrible chill strike me from the surprise, and when I turned around, she was effectively right in front of me.

“Antoinette? What — What are you doing here? Where the hell were you all day?”

She clamped her hand over my mouth, shushing me quickly.

“Can't explain that right now,” she said. “I'll explain it later, okay?”

I moved her hand away.

“What? No, explain it now. You weren't on the map, that's a big deal.”

She narrowed her eyes at me, but it didn't seem like it was directed at me.

“Sebastian, I know this is sudden but I really can't talk about it now. Don't you trust me?”

The question took me by surprise. I thought the answer was obvious, and yet I hesitated. What could she have been up to that made her disappear like that?

With hesitance, I nodded, if only to see where this went.

She sighed, but kept a look of exhaustion. Now that the initial surprise was over, I could see her more clearly: she looked like she hadn't slept at all last night. Her hair was a mess, and her clothes from last night's party were all wrinkled. Something told me she didn't have a fun night.

“Antoinette, what's —”

“Just — shh. Listen, I need to talk with Claire and Kristina over what happened yesterday, will you back me up?”

Her change in subjects annoyed me. I tried to keep up, realizing she really wasn't going to crack.

“Uh — yeah, sure. Yeah, I was affected by that as much as you were. Of course I'll back you up.”

She stared at me quietly for a moment, as if judging my words, and then sighed in relief, putting her hand to my shoulder.

“Thanks, Sebastian. you'll make this go a lot easier. Now let's go in, they're waiting.”

I looked at Antoinette with a suspicion I never thought I'd see her with, and pushed open the door to 1-A.

Though I'd only been gone ten minutes at most, the living room had been completely transformed into something fitting of Christmas. Or at least, of a commercialized ideal version of Christmas.

Colourful lights hung from all around the room, there was a fake chimney on the wall made from carton, an electric fire, and apparently a lot of paint, and on the center table, a little star statue was placed nicely in the middle, surrounded by candles.

“Aw, you guys came together!”

“It's a good thing you didn't keep us waiting too long.”

Those two seemed happy to see us.

I glanced at Antoinette, but she smiled and moved forth as though nothing had happened right outside.

I followed.

When Antoinette sat down at the table, Kristina took out a wrapped package from underneath the table.

Without a word, she held it out to Antoinette, who looked at it skeptically.

“What is this?”

“A gift.”

”We worked really hard to get it!” said Claire, linking her arms with Kristina.

“How come I don't get a present?”

“Shut up, Sebastian.”

I went quiet after Kristina shut me up.

Antoinette looked at it suspiciously but took it anyway.

“Okay...? What's this for?”

Claire and Kristina looked at each other before the former spoke up.

“We wanted to apologize for yesterday. For the whole dancing stuff. We were sorta out of our heads.”

‘Sorta’ was an understatement, I didn't say.
Antoinette seemed surprised by the apology, which made me wonder how she would bring the subject up now as she opened the box. Inside, I could see, was a diamond necklace. A thoughtful present, I was sure, but made me wonder how easy it would be to get things like this.

Antoinette looked breathless for a moment as she stared at the diamonds. I personally couldn't care less for expensive jewellery, and contented myself with watching their faces.

Both Claire and Kristina seemed proud of their gift, but when I looked back at Antoinette, she looked like a mother trying to find a sensible way to tell her son that he'll never be able to sell his macaroni art.

“You guys... I think we have something more important to talk about," she said, putting the necklace back into the box. As they looked at her curiously, she fell quiet.

Then she nudged my side and mouthed “Go”.

“Hey, what gives? This is your deal, why are you making me say it?” I hissed quietly.

“Because I'm an idiot that didn't think this through and now I'm drawing a blank,” she hissed back.

Thus, I was shoved forward, and I realized I had no idea what I was meant to say. I knew what I wanted to say, but not how to, leaving me to blank out for a moment.

I cleared my throat. Improvisation was my strong point, I'd do that.

“Have you two realized that Antoinette has, like, no friends at all?”

A hand smacked the back of my head.

“And how you two are constantly getting on her case about it one way or another? Like when you tried to get her a date with that guitarist, for example?” I rubbed the back of my head as they looked at me intently, one appearing clueless and the other looking cautious. Take a wild guess as to which was which.

I brushed it off in favour of getting my point across. “So we were thinking if maybe you should... back off? Let her make friends on her own, stop smothering her when it comes to these things like... overprotective parents.”

The silence I received as answer was unsettling and it made me shiver, feeling as if I had already screwed up somehow. I was about to continue to salvage myself, but Claire was faster.

“We're not smothering her,” she said, surprised I could ever say such a thing. Then she turned to Kristina, as if looking for support. “We're helping her make friends, aren't we?”

Kristina was oddly silent, maintaining a thoughtful look directed at me. Claire looked confused for a moment and turned to us again. “We're not smothering...!” she repeated, with a little less conviction.

Seeing that it was two and a half against her, Claire finally let go of those words and placed her hands on her lap firmly. Nonetheless, it seemed she didn't want to lose her ground. “Name me one time we've prevented you from having friends!” Through her doubt, she managed to smile lopsidedly, a fake confidence radiating through it.

But Antoinette was ready. She answered as though it were part of a script. “Remember last night? I do, and you made me and Sebastian look like total idiots in front of everyone.”

“Sebastian and I,” Kristina corrected as a mutter. I mentally thanked her.

Antoinette didn't seem too grateful. “Yeah, whatever. How about when I first got here and you two blurted out the truth like it was nothing and caused me a panic attack?”

Already Claire was looking nervous, but Antoinette continued: “That time on April Fool's when you dumped a bucket of water on my head on the first floor. Or when you shouted those embarrassing words of 'support' from the bush.” I hadn't heard about those two, but they sounded funny.

Following that came a short silence where they looked at each other before Antoinette continued. “Need I go on?”

“Yes please,” I blurted out. She glared at me. “Uh... To... prove your point further, I mean.” I paused. “Or...I think that's enough to get the point across,” I added after seeing both Claire and Kristina giving me a look as well.

Antoinette crossed her arms. “That's the problem. I need you two to stop smothering me and let me try to make some friends on my own for once, without forcing me to meet yours or getting in the way.”

I watched as a silence fell upon the room, and then at Claire as she frowned at us. “But you can't make friends on your own... you're so grumpy all the time, no one wants to be friends with someone like that.”

“How would you know?” Antoinette retorted. “You're always so cheerful and bubbly all the time, of course you'd think like that.”

“Let's not let make this too personal. We can talk this out,” said Kristina, looking between one and the other.

Claire pouted at Kristina next. “But it's true! We're just tryin' to help.”

That's when I raised my hand. "If I may butt in for a sec?" I said, putting my hands back at my side. “Antoinette's my friend, and she's been nothing but grumpy since I met her. I don't know if you two have a different definition of friendship, but I think that counts,” I said, giving her a nudge. She gave me a brief glance and then a firm nod to the other two.

“Well, I mean, of course that counts,” said Claire, "But we all live together. Outside of 1-A, she doesn't have anyone else. We wanna help her with that.”

“Have you considered maybe I don't want your help?” She said this sharper than I anticipated. “Yeah. Maybe — maybe I could do fine if you'd just leave me alone for a while, without either of you coming along to ruin everything like yesterday.”

“Now that's just rude. We're trying our best too, you know?” I was surprised to see Claire getting so defensive. Kristina put her hand atop Claire's, getting a fleeting glance before continuing like it wasn't there. “But you don't make it easy, and now you're getting angry at us for trying to help you make friends? That's so ungrateful! We're roomies, it's our job to make sure you socialize since you can't do it yourself.”

Her words sounded genuine, but in the way a child wouldn't understand that what they were doing was wrong.

Before Antoinette had even said said anything, I felt the tension rise.

“Then maybe it's time I asked for a room change,” she said, leaving a heavy silence in the room. I didn't dare speak up after that, not even Claire — eyes widened in shock — said anything. Antoinette, on the other hand, seemed to be knocked off balance by the sudden silence, and took the momentum to continue. “To one where I don't have to deal with annoyances like the two of you all the time.”

I saw Kristina's hand hold Claire's a little tighter, and I'm sure Antoinette saw it as well, because I could see a flash of regret the moment she finished tacking that on. We all knew that wasn't possible, but still...

“If that's truly what you feel, An—” That was all Kristina was able to say before Claire stood up, eyes watering.

“If that's what you really want, then fine!” she shouted. “Go ahead and — and do whatever you want. I'll stop annoying you, since I'm so annoying.”

She stomped past us and towards the door without stopping.

“Claire, wait!” Antoinette tried to stop her, but Claire looked too distraught at this point, and kept moving forward as her face darkened. The door opened and closed, and she was gone.

I looked over to Antoinette, to see she was coming back to her senses. A wave of regret washed over shortly after the door had closed, and when she was about to stand up, Kristina's voice stopped both of us in our tracks.

“Don't go after her.”

We both looked towards her. Kristina was already standing up with an impassive look on her face.

“You're both idiots if you think I'll let either one of you go after her now,” she said, giving us both a dark look as she approached the door. “But I couldn't risk letting her start crying in here while you two were still in the room.”

She passed us with a feeling of disappointment that I knew Antoinette would feel, and paused at the door, eyes down. Even in the heat of things, Kristina could think of that... I felt a little guilty.

“...We'll stop bothering you, Antoinette,” she said, back to us. “We apologize for all the embarrassments we made you go through. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but it looks like we can't all get what we want.”

She left as well with those words spoken from a toxic sincerity, and when the door closed, I finally felt like I could breathe again.

I glanced at Antoinette, who looked as uneasy as I expected.

“All according to plan. That couldn't have gone better...” she said. “At least that's done. Thanks, Sebastian.”

I was astonished. How could she be so calm at a time like this? Or maybe I was just on edge because of what she said before we came in.

“I said I'd explain everything to you later, but I still can't.” She rubbed her nape, looking at the door. “I do need you to do me a favor now, though.”

I glared at Antoinette, feeling both confused and suspicious once more.

“What you need to do is give me an explanation on what's going on here.”

“I told you I can't explain, not here. Look, I really need you to trust me on this. When have I ever done you wrong?”

I bit my tongue.

Was whatever secret she was hiding worth all this? I didn't know how much more I'd handle being kept in the dark like this.

“...Fine. What do you need me to do?”

I saw how relief covered her face.

“When they come back, you have to tell them that I ran away. Make up any excuse so that they won't think about searching for me, alright?”

I had to think about this for a long time.

I didn't know what she was planning, nor what the deal with all this nonsense was, but if it was Antoinette...

“...” I sighed. “Just tell me one thing,” I said. “You're okay, aren't you? You know, if there's something heavy in your mind, you can talk to me about it.”

Antoinette looked surprised by this question, and forced a weak smile.

“What kind of question is —?”

“Answer me.”

She paused, and for a moment our eyes met. She looked away, nodding.

“Yeah, you don't need to worry.”

Amidst the confusion, the frustration, the tension, and everything else going on in my mind, I felt relieved.